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November 2012 - We're ready for Spring... any time now please!

999 replies

StuntNun · 26/03/2013 13:40

Previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/1714057-November-2012-The-lurker-amnesty-fred-for-our-quiche

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
MadamGazelleIsMyMum · 28/03/2013 15:42

Hello all. Not had time to catch up on news as posting quickly at work. I'm re-instating sweary Wednesday. Doing a KIT day and have had a fucking shite day. Got turned down for a promotion. Again. No promotion, no pay rise, returning to FT work to chase progression and money that isnt fucking happening, going to be fucking skint to put 2 kids in nursery from next month so I can work FT to benefit someone else, while I miss out on small people's early lives for no fucking forthcoming advancement. I also do a job that I cannot easily change employer, and cannot think of anything else which I am qualified to do which pays as well. I do like my job and I do like the people and I will get over this, but the month before I go back I could have done with some fucking validation, reward and encouragement, and not a fucking slap down Angry Sad [bursts into tears]

StuntNun · 28/03/2013 16:09

J's diarrhoea has cleared up three days after he started antibiotics for an ear infection. Idiot mummy.

I was in the same boat after I had DS2 Madam basically working to pay the nursery fees. It sucks but I did it knowing eventually my pay would go up a bit and my nursery costs would go down a bit when DS1 started school. Personally I think it's a very unpleasant reality of modern Britain where both parents have to work while paying someone else to look after their children. It's great for the government as they get three lots of income tax instead of only one for a family with one working parent and one stay-at-home parent.

MM watch out for your DH if you do put a schedule into place. My DH has fucked it up good and proper today: making me feed J when he was just whinging in the night, having him out at the park at feed time, and wandering in to the bedroom at nap time brightly patting him J on the tummy and blowing raspberries at him when I was trying to get him to sleep. Now he's feeding and sleeping off schedule so I'll have to skip the 5 pm bottle of EBM and give it at bedtime instead, and wake him after a short nap so he'll still go to sleep at bedtime. The bedtime routine is awesome by the way, it has given us our evenings back as J is asleep by 8.30 pm at the latest every day.

OP posts:
YellowWellies · 28/03/2013 16:17

pass I've got earache and I think Jonas might have too - he's eating much less and much more squeaky. Though obviously he wanted to feed in front of the ticket collector on the train back from Edinburgh today! Blush Blush

He's been lovely today other than a new high pitched shriek - my sister had him in gales of belly laughs by blowing raspberries at him. I tried it. Tumbleweed. Traitorous little fecker!

Passmethecrisps · 28/03/2013 16:21

That is shit madame I am sorry. I know exactly what you mean as I am also have to face having to give up aiming for the next stage. Everyone says all the right stuff but when push comes to shove someone else always gets the job. You will get there I am sure. I the meantime have some Wine

Passmethecrisps · 28/03/2013 16:23

Oh and we have an emergency appointment at 5pm. Poor P - all she wants to do is sleep. Not many smiles either.

YellowWellies · 28/03/2013 16:32

Its shit you need two salaries to live in the UK. I blame the house price bubble - two wages are needed to pay for a roof over your head, that 30 years ago only required one. So babies are farmed out to nurseries staffed by strangers who may have struggled at school and who are paid minimum wage and are thus not really motivated to do tricky stuff like discipline. Mums are separated from their babies and made to feel guilty for it. Just so house prices stay high, and Daily Mail readers feel rich. It's one of the British nation's most idiotic traits - cheering as the cost of living rises! We don't cheer gas price hikes but more expensive housing - oh yes. Muppets! We're muppets. Confused

ValiumQueen · 28/03/2013 16:33

Good to hear it pass never be put off by holidays if your bubba needs seeing there is always out of hours service.

itsnotyouitsMeals · 28/03/2013 16:36

Hugs madam. That's shit. It's awful feeling trapped. Can you talk to anyone there about why no promotion ? Do you have a mentor from a previous job?

mm well I hope she does see it as you need support by the sounds of it.

pass DD1 never gets temps. She also runs a bit cold temp wise and doesn't seem to feel the cold much. Hope you can get her seen.

PurplePidjin · 28/03/2013 16:36

Madam, is it short term pain for long term gain as Stunt said? Can you afford to take a career break or go part time?

Stunt's reasoning is why our now fucked up plan was for dp to work and me stay home. Why should i bust a gut hunting for minimum wage childcare work while paying some teenage oik one else to care for mine?

Passmethecrisps · 28/03/2013 16:38

The obsession with house ownership is horrendous. My parents have worked all their lives in manual jobs - my dad since 14 - and lived under the cloud of possible homelessness for 2 years due to the lack of council housing as he neared retirement. Now they are made to feel like thieves for having an extra room. It makes me boil.

ValiumQueen · 28/03/2013 16:38

I was a bit sad today as a house identical to ours is for sale fixed price £10,000 less than we paid for ours 6 years ago. I guess house prices do not matter unless you are buying or selling.

I am beginning to worry about how we will manage financially while I am off. Thinking perhaps I should go back sooner, but with three kids in childcare in would not make things any easier. I will never get promotion at my place, so retraining is a real option for me. I must find out more.

YellowWellies · 28/03/2013 16:47

I should say that sods law, there will be the mother of all house price crashes soon, given that we are about to complete on our new house next Friday. Nearly 1/5th of a million pounds for a family home - which will work out at just under £600k to repay over the lifetime of the mortgage once you include compounded interest.

Wah no wonder bankers pushed the house price credit bubble - we all repay £3 for every £1 borrowed the lifetime of a loan - they're the ones who really benefitted from high prices - until folks being unable to join the ponzi (by prices being so out of whack to wages) nearly wrecked them.

Can you spot my soapbox rant topic? Blush

Passmethecrisps · 28/03/2013 17:06

You should come round our way VQ. Many of our neighbours are likely to be in massive negative equity. If we want another baby we will need to move but we could only do that if we at least get back what we paid for our house. The real stinger is that we were sold it under the guise of 'affordable housing'

Kyzordz · 28/03/2013 17:09

Do these things not have a mute switch? This incessant whine is like nails down a chalk board!

MissMummy1 · 28/03/2013 17:14

I worked out if I was to go back to work FT, thay by the time we had paid childcare and transport I would be left with about £150 a week. I can earn the same doing 5 hours tutoring around his hours and be around for M the rest of the time. I am very fortunate.

The flipside of this is we will struggle like fuck to get a mortgage, and if I leave him I will be left with nothing. Scandalous given I was the main breadwinner until last June Angry

BigPigLittlePig · 28/03/2013 17:18

This is why I want dh to get another job. I have no choice but to work FT, to me it makes perfect sense for him, as the lesser earner, to move to another, equally paid, job with better hours - we would save probably £300 a month in childcare, he would get to see F more, plus he hates his current job. Will he even consider it? Will he fuck.

YellowWellies · 28/03/2013 17:29

We're lucky DH's salary has doubled in 3 years due to judicious job hopping, relocating to Orkney and the rise of offshore renewable energy development. Sheer luck (and his hard work for us) basically. It means I don't need to go back to work. I am however going to do 1-2 days per week freelance when the bear is weaned to keep my hand in, for some child free time and to be able to splash out on my eBay addiction Blush we are so lucky to have this choice. It makes me angry that all mothers don't have the luxury of choice. Sad

MissMummy1 · 28/03/2013 17:48

I tell a lie, on my current teaching scale and cost of childcare in this area it would be even less than this. Sad

PetiteRaleuse · 28/03/2013 17:56

Hope it went ok pass

Lookingnforward to hearing how Detective and chasing meetup went.

And luis and pidg ?

ValiumQueen · 28/03/2013 18:07

Note to self - do not let boy sleep for 3 hours at lunch time EVER again.

StuntNun · 28/03/2013 18:12

Oh dear VQ, what happened?

OP posts:
Izzybuzzybuzzybees · 28/03/2013 18:18

Uh oh that doesn't sound good vq

J had a normal feed today! A 30minute one! We shall see when he feeds again but that is way better than the 30second feeds the past few days!

ValiumQueen · 28/03/2013 18:19

It has thrown him completely out. Silly me. Had to feed him to sleep just now as he got overtired and could not settle. He just looked so peaceful...

His feeding will now all be out of sync too.

I am so tired today. I didn't actually go to HV in the end. I will go to clinic next week.

ValiumQueen · 28/03/2013 18:39

He has woken in a better mood thank fuck. He is straining.....hoping he will have a poo today.

I have decided applying to do HV course this year is putting too much pressure on me. I will aim to start Sept 2014, so will work out a plan to achieve that.

PetiteRaleuse · 28/03/2013 18:46

Sounds like a good plan vq

Longer term realistic goals better than hurried unachievable ones. Easier to take baby steps than huge fuck off leaps