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Post-natal clubs

Join our Postnatal Clubs forum to find parenting advice for newborns.

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Original poster

November 2012 - We're ready for Spring... any time now please!

999 replies

StuntNun · 26/03/2013 13:40

Previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/1714057-November-2012-The-lurker-amnesty-fred-for-our-quiche

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

TheDetective · 27/03/2013 21:42

HAHAHA @ eyes bleached.

Dunno why I am laughing. They would need eye transplants if I wore skinnies. :(

VQ I am young, but most definitely not hip.

Cat Hadouken? I recognise that. From the fucking xbox, stupid fucking mortal kombat or some such shit.

Passmethecrisps · 27/03/2013 21:43

Fuck shit bugger balls! I keep Remembering shit I meant to say.

is that normal? VQ that is such chuffing bad manners I would poke my fingers in her lollipop headed eyes so I would. J is the very picture of superbness.

chasing I hope you have your party pants on for meeting detective tomorrow. I am all jealous excited!

TheDetective · 27/03/2013 21:44

Pass Does P's poo childishly sniggering from here get stuck to her arse?

O's hard poo is stuck to his bum and molded in to a bum shape. So you undo the nappy, and think, no poo. Then you get suprise poo!

TheDetective · 27/03/2013 21:45

She might need her tena lady, not her party pants .

TheDetective · 27/03/2013 21:46

YW Did I say thanks for the idea re: water? Probably not, forgetful fucker.

Will try this tonight.

O has woken up 11 times already. He has been in bed since 7.30pm.

This is not a Good Night. Fucking shitting hell.

kirrinIsland · 27/03/2013 21:53

Sorry about your Dad Shelley Glad he's doing ok. Formula will do Tommy no harm at all.

chasing sorry ss were shit. I can't believe they didn't speak to you on your own.

detective N frequently cries in the car - simply because she doesn't like the car seat. I'm afraid I tend to go for the 'ignore' approach If I stopped every time she cried I'd never get anywhere!

Sorry to hear about all the broken fanjos :( but probably not as sorry as Luis is

I have sold my horsebox. I am very pleased, but also a bit sad as it means I really have admitted defeat with getting back into competing any time soon. I am definitely not selling my horse though, and I will ride again soon. To be fair, money and logistics are having as much an impact on that as the children are.

Also, I think I need to sack my dogs. My friend managed to let herself into the house and walk right past them before saying hello to me and they still didn't realise she was there. I think it's safe to say they won't be alerting me to any burglars waste of fur

Enjoy your meet up tomorrow detective and chasing

Passmethecrisps · 27/03/2013 21:55

Why, yes detective! Before she went on carobel P would spend a few minutes looking like she was going to burst her own eyes heaving out a grey solid plug. After this I would take her nappy off and remove said plug. She would then spend a happy 5 minutes chewing on her fingers while a softer, yellower sausage would curl joyfully out. Genuinely, I could easily change her nappy without her ever pooing in it because poos were so massively obvious. She once tried to smile at me while pooing. Her eyes were watering with the effort. I was weeping laughing.

ShellyBobbs · 27/03/2013 22:07

Thanks everyone. will pump tomorrow and see what happens, will look onto milk upper suggestions. Don't really want to take him into hospital Detective. Ahhhh he'll be fine. Thanks again everyone

TheDetective · 27/03/2013 22:09

How long do they think your dad will be in there for? It might not be for long. :) x

PetiteRaleuse · 27/03/2013 22:13

If LO wakes up during the night she is getting water. No milk. I actually kept a record of how much she drank today and she is a pig very healthy eater. She is definitely not hungry during the night.

PetiteRaleuse · 27/03/2013 22:14

Trim? Moi? Mwah ha ha ha! Well my arms and legs are very skinny. The rest of me is wibbly wobbly.

TheDetective · 27/03/2013 22:18

O just keeps waking up, over and over. White noise is working sometimes. Other times he needs picking up and patting. Or a blanket by over his face.

This is going to be fucking horrendous tonight isn't it?

Fucking hell.

Passmethecrisps · 27/03/2013 22:19

All of me is wobbly wobbly. I use the old gauge of pinch a foot

PetiteRaleuse · 27/03/2013 22:20

I wear skinnies. They suit my legs, because everything other than skinnies looks like bin bags. You just have to ignore my bellies belly flabbing out over the waistline.

And the boobs flopping their way down to my waist.

It's not bf'ing that buggers up the boobs. It's age. Or something. I hardly breastfed. Te other day LO started crying when I was in the shower. I ran out to see her and my boobs went clap clap clap clap clap. And is that wasn't bad enough (seelf shame) DD1 almost pissed herself laughing and POINTED.

At my TUMMY. Because that's what the bastards were clappng against.

Luis you should use our threads as research for a book. You could write a wonderful Nick hornby-esque novel about wimmen and their post birth hangups.

TheDetective · 27/03/2013 22:23

DP just asked me what was so funny. I told him he had to read your post.

I don't know why the fuck I am laughing. My bits of skin that were once boobs disappear in my armpits, or fall in to my knickers.

TheDetective · 27/03/2013 22:24

I just showed him. I think he is horrified. HAAAAAA! Not at you, at him! He has no fucking idea! I hide the boobs from him!

Izzybuzzybuzzybees · 27/03/2013 22:38

Well j has taken a normalish feed and is asleep so its bedtime. I better not be up feeding for an hour again tonight :(

Kyzordz · 27/03/2013 22:40

pass that's what e was like and usually it would be the same bottle every day, he would ALWAYS stop mid feed for a poo and it was exactly as you describe! Oh how easy that was to sort!

pr your post made me laugh!! Not the content but the wording!

I hate my body now. Really hate it. I won't let dp see me undressed with the light on, I am a mountain of disgust and yet it is only chocklit and crap that makes me feel better, twat

ChunkyEasterChick · 27/03/2013 22:48

Not bfing that fucked my boobs, it was pg!! Once they expand so quickly you get stretch marks, they ain't ever gonna look good... They are bigger now after DS though, so I'd better stop at 2 dc just in case a 3rd spoils them. :)

Shelley don't feel guilty. Do what you need to. Hope your DF is well on the mend soon.

Off to force dream feed DS. Fingers crosses both he and DD have another good night. Boy does she rabbit in her sleep!!!

Elizadoesdolittle · 27/03/2013 22:48

I fucking hate my boobs. When I was in my teens I wished for big boobs. Now I wish I had nice small ones as they wouldn't be balancing on my flabby belly.

detective I love that lullaby. Brings back fond memories of my dad singing it to me when I was a child. He's no longer with us so holds a special place in my heart. Also driver at the engine as well, but I never remember all the words to it. I am always singing to my girls but they probably wish I would shut the fuck up. A voice of an angel I have not got!

chasing what a pile of wank. I'm sorry.

DD1 has been a fuckin terror at some points so far this week. She is starting to become a bit spiteful and pulled E's tube yesterday. Luckily it didn't come out. She sulks when she doesnt get her own way and screams. I'm slowly -quickly- losing my temper with her. She better grow out if this faze quickly as I'm not enjoying her at the moment which is a horrible thing to say I know.

We are off for a little Easter break with my sis and bil so looking forward to that. No idea what the Internet will be like at the cottage we are staying in so apologies if I don't post much. Wishing you all a lovely Easter xx

Elizadoesdolittle · 27/03/2013 22:53

shelley forgot to say sorry to hear about your DF. Hope he has a speedy recovery. Don't forget to look after yourself too. I second getting domperidone to help your supply. The HV got my GP to prescribe it to me to help with my supply issues. Reminds me I left the tablet at hospital so I need to get more. Adds to ever growing list of things to do!

PetiteRaleuse · 27/03/2013 22:56

Should just say, she was laughing at the noise and the wibblyness. Not at the fact that I am horrified that my boobs used to be shapely yet perky and are now droopy and dangly like a couple of widely spread giant bollocks.

stick that in your pipe and smoke it Luis

LuisGarcia · 27/03/2013 23:02

Still here, still reading. You are going to have to try harder than this to scare me off. I don't feel I have a part to play in some of these conversations, but seeing as I keep being namechecked.... worry less, please.

Hug for ShellyBobbs

kirrinIsland · 27/03/2013 23:06

I'm not too fond of my post babies body either. The flabby tummy is very depressing, but then i console myself with a Belgian bun - idiot.

Eliza I know what you mean. DD1 has been a horror lately. I'm hoping at least some of it is illness related, but she is moaning and tantrumming about nothing everything. I always resolve to remain calm and I always fail.
Enjoy your Easter break :)

detective hopefully he'll just go zonk in a bit. Fx for you.

N is in bed so I am heading to bed too. Night all. I'm sure I'll be back in an hour or 2.

Original poster

StuntNun · 27/03/2013 23:14

Hope your dad makes a speedy recovery Shelly. My FIL had a heart attack 11 years ago and he was only in for a couple of days so hopefully he'll be able to get home soonish.

Yeah the ol' tum ain't what it used to be but on the other hand 32H! I'm not complaining.

OP posts:

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