November 2012 - Will the Easter Bunny visit our babies?

[StuntNun]

Previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/1707618-November-2012-The-thread-where-it-all-starts-to-get-easier-Pretty-please

sophia - vests arrived today. I knew the parcel was from you before I even opened it!! LOVE the Matilda stationary! Thank you so much for them, not had a chance to try on yet but they look perfect. I hope we can meet one day too

If anyone deserves a break you did Eliza if you search Pass's posts she hasbeen doing a daily summary :) and it's brilliant.

Buggers and bollocks. DD1's poosplosions have turned into watery mucousy diarrea. After we got back from the doctor's of course. Am assuming too much rich food the last few days. She has lots of energy so assume she is not ill.

mmgreat I love stationary!

I have a bit of a WWYD and need some advice. This is probably going to be a bit rambley, so bare with me! I've wimped out of posting in AIBU and was going to name change but sod it, if she's reading this then tough.

I met a woman at a baby group about 5 weeks ago. Her DD is a couple of weeks older than M and she lives in my village. At the time I didn't know any other mums here, least of all with babies similar aged to mine. Since then we have met a couple of other village mums and have been taking it in turns to meet at each other's houses one morning a week. Fine. (the others are lovely by the way!)

Over that time though something just hasn't seemed right. She is not 'my type of person' - I knew this straight off, but I have a whole wealth of friends from various different backgrounds and personalities so put my initial worries aside. I have in no way judged her - given I was brought up by my single parent mum in an ex council house, surviving on benefits after she was made medically retired and then had my own baby at 21 with my unstable age gap boyfriend, I would be a MASSIVE hypocrite to judge her - but a little background: she is in her 30s and admitted she deliberatelty got pregnant by a 19yo because she "wanted to be a single mum". She doesn't work (no biggie) but brags about living off her dad's business. She shares a flat with another man who - she later told me - often does drugs. I believe she might as well. She is also one of these very loud, in your face people who talks about money all the time . I am very quiet and think talking about money (especially with strangers) is the height of rudeness. I get the impression she is jealous of my life fuck knows why as she often says things like "oh but you have it so easy".

I digress. This woman has worked her way into my life and it's beginning to get a bit claustrophobic. I have given her a chance but decided my initial instincts were right and I really really do not like her - I rarely feel this way about people for what it's worth! I think the final straw was this week. She invited herself to my house yesterday and I said no, M and I are both snotty and are having a lazy day. She texted me today telling me I would be ridiculously selfish to go to tomorrow's coffee morning with all the other village mums and infecting all of their babies (as if I would?! we are past the contagious stage and 1000% better).

I saw red a little at her texting me - essentially a complete stranger - and TELLING me what to do. I'm a grown woman ffs. How the hell do I get this woman to fuck off out of my life without upsetting people or being rude? Or falling victim to her making up crap about me and spreading it around the village? Yep, I honestly do believe she has the potential to be that childish, having heard what she says about others.

I can't believe I am getting worked up about such a childish situation but this is really bothering me. I am also on my period so I'm probably being hormonal and irrational about this.

Sorry that was very very wrong. Eliza hope you had a lovely time away and can put all of the stress of hospital behind you now xx

MM she sounds difficult vile I would continue to attend group things, but make quiet excuses when she suggests meeting up, just the 2 of you. There is a reason you have instincts - if you don't get on with her, and don't like the way she lives, then don't associate with her more than you have to. Plus, ask yourself, would you be happy, 3 years from now, for your LO to have a playdate at her house, without you? That's kind of the benchmark for me so yes I'm a snob

MM, she sounds like a nightmare. Wonder what the other mums think of her? It's a bit hard to dump someone who is part of a group without leaving the group yourself, I think the only thing you can do is just not respond to get really, and hope she gets the message you're not interested in a close friendship with her!

Wanted to just add my toilet training experience, we did it with ds1 at Xmas, he was 2.3. It went really well. We had a potty in the bathroom for a few months beforehand and sat him on it only immediately before his bath. so when we came to properly lose the nappies, he knew what it was for. He got it immediately, was dry within a couple of days and we only had a few weeks of the odd pooing accident. Bar one day out at a RHS garden where DH was running to the loo with him every 15 mins and we ran out of changes of clothes, it went really smoothly, and I'm so glad we did it, it's a lot easier than changing nappies and mopping up big boy poos ;) Had DH at home for the first few days of it which really helped as there is a fair bit of urgent running to the loo the first couple of days, can be hard if yr feeding LO. Anyway, wanted to share positive experience for those thinking of doing it. Incidentally, I have a mummy friend who trained her dd to poo on the toilet from about 6 months. She just held her over it when she was pooing and eventually she learnt to do it on toilet on command. Found it v strange myself but interesting!

She sounds AWFUL MM. I'd be worried too. I think I would probably just gently distance myself from her. If the other women are alright, there is a good chance that they are feeling the same. Sorry can't be more help than that. I don't really have any friends

sp very very long! God knows what spell correct was thinking.

Thank you for your replies. There is no way in hell I would let M go there alone BPLP. To be completely honest, I am not entirely happy having M in her flat even when I am there.

I hope the other mums see her the way I do. I don't want to broach the subject with them incase I am totally wrong and they think I am being a bitchy judgey horrible person. Equally, I hope she has pissed them all off as much as she has me and they all think the same as me and will exclude her in time.

I feel AWFUL wanting to exclude anyone from anything, but she really is an absolute nightmare. Quite frankly I would rather not be involved in the group at all than be associated with her. I just worry about what she will say about me in the village and how this might affect my business.

MM trust your instincts. Life is too short to have to deal with people like that. Just withdraw contact from her. Be polite but distant if you see her at group events.

Have just settled O to sleep by holding his hand . usually takes rocking and shushing.

We had rolling and proper laughter tonight... My boy is on the mend!

Contra you are doing a fantastic job as are you Chasing.

Mm she sounds like a psycho. Avoid 1-1 with her.

Eliza lovely to hear you back!

Massive hugs to all those I've missed.

VQ hope j is on the mend.

Big hugs to stunt too.

I have made lots of purée today in readiness of getting back from hols on the 4th and letting LO eat! He was trying to put his hands in all the puréed today and avidly watched me peel and chop everything whilst babbling away at me! Very excited!

Chasing is right. Polite but distant. And don't get into gossip with the others about her - stay out of it. Let her show others what she is like. People are very perceptive, and don't like people bitching. If she does that it won't do her any favours.

PR is everyone asleep now? Are you getting to sit down?

LO is asleep but has hardly eaten so will be up soon. She's sleeping too much so I reckon we'll have a bad night but we have to let her get over whatever is bothering her then sort out routine again. DD1 is lying next to me listening to Nellie the Elephant. I am hoping she doesn't shit herself all over me my bed during the night. DH is clearing up after our very bland dinner of boiled chicken and rice - bland for DD1's sake.

One good point? The unexpected bonus of having my bed shat in is lovely clean sheets a couple of days earlier. I love the first sleep in clean sheets.

Bastard French TV on demand haven't updated with last week's Greys or Following or Person of Interest yet. Twats. Sweary cunting Wednesday in a few hours. I'm feeling much better though. Just want my baby back to her normal self.

So tired. But can't pop a pill as will need to be up for LO.

That's great that he is so much better Pikz . Bronchiolitis is an arse. Does he still need the nebu-whatsit?

Never has sweary Wednesday been so eagerly anticipated. I expect a flurry of posts at midnight.

Need to catch up on this evening .....but...who is watching "sleep live"

pr pr can you watch c4? They are trying to get a boy to stop co sleeping and sleep in his own bed.

I can watch it but only in the sitting room - am in bed. Can't watch on catch up as can't get that here. Will try and youtube it tomorrow.

Sophia I'm watching.

PR I stopped it yesterday to see on docs advice. Today he's wheezing when he laughs and he's eating but we have to have breathing breaks so I think Doc may put him back on a low dose on Friday. How long did yours take to go?

Might be some handy tips. I am watching on your behalf.

Thanks for thinking of me though :)

Mm, just distance yourself. I am known to give false phone number to people, I am vary who I let into my life. The mums at playgroup/massage/swim know nothing about me, experienced too much bitching previously.

I am tired, slept 2 hours last night. Stupid ebay seller pissed me off too, I won an item for £4 plus £6 for postage. She came back to me saying that postage is £8.30 and she will invoice me for difference. Not a chance. Told her I wasn't paying more so she said she was going to refund me. Negative feedback is awaiting tmrw.

Meeting my lovely midwife on Fri, I can't praise her enough. I was under the care of a midwife group so saw her at every appointment, she even came for the birth on her day off. They asked me to come back to talk about the birth to expectant mothers on Fri. Not sure the mothers want to hear about my 25hr back to back ordeal :-) but hey ho they will.

Am I being sad for watching Dawson's creek on lovefilm instant??? what the hell is wrong with me?

The sleep programme is making me scared about toddler-dom. I think I will go to sleep instead.

Why is Jake Humphrey presenting?

Lily I LOVE Dawson's Creek!

The cough can linger quite a while. DD1 still coughs now at night if we don't put the humidifier on, but she had pneumonia too. LO didn't have the nebuliser thing she was treated just with chest physio as it was caught very quickly as we were expecting it with DD1 and me having been ill. From the first cold symptoms to chest being clear was about two weeks. DD1 was over 3 weeks in total. From what you say though the worst is over - good that you are getting him checked though again this week. You will recognise what the warning signs are if it does get worse again in the meantime. Probably won't though - it tends to go through three phases of three to five days. Phase three is improvement. Sounds like You're there :)