November 2012 - The thread where it all starts to get easier. Pretty please?

[StuntNun]

Previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/1703340-November-2012-Four-months-Oh-no-the-dreaded-sleep-regression

Bad joke alert! *

[ A married couple rushed to the hospital because the woman was in labor the doctor asked the couple, "I have invented a new machine that you might want to try, it takes some of the labor pains away from the mother and gives it to the father." So the married couple decided that they would try this. So the doctor hooked the machine up and put it on 10% of pain switched from the mother to the father and the husband said "I feel okay turn it up a lot more" so the doctor turned it up to 50% and the husband said "why don’t you just put it all on me cause I’m not feeling a thing" but the doctor warned them "this much could kill you if your not prepared", and the husband replied "I am ready "so the doctor turned the machine up to 100% but the husband didn’t fell a thing so they went home happy with a pain free labor, but when they got home the mailman was dead on the front porch! ]

luis we a

Morning chromosome sharers.

Well, I am starting to wonder if P's very gentle regression is over. Either that or she is completely knackered from a very busy few days.

I tried keeping her awake in the late afternoon but noooooooooo! The girl goes mental. She did nap for 30 minutes until 5:15 but was still a weeping wreck by 6:15. I ended up rushing though her bath and putting her down at 6:30. She barely peeped - two dummy requests - until we woke her for meds and supper then down again with barely a peep until we woke her at 7:20. It is weird how sometimes she needs dummy back in to get back to sleep and sometimes she doesn't. It must depend on how deeply asleep she was. In the middle of the night I know she wakes because I have seen her but she just closes her eyes and goes back to sleep. At 5:45 this morning though she wanted more sleep but needed dummy.

stunt I thought your post was lovely. It is such a positive attitude to keep reminding yourself of everything they are going through and how wonderful and exciting the outcome is likely to be. I also think you were right to follow DH with J. You are both going through such a lot and he needs to understand that your have to act to protect all of you - it's not personal.

Well, valium prince is getting the hang of this sleeping malarkey! Good job.

Pressed enter by accident. luis we all sleep in the same room, DS's crib is DP's side if the bed. He does the middle of the night feed and I do the early morning one when DS comes into bed with us. Pretty soon we will be putting him in a cot in his own room because he's starting to outgrow the crib.

Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?

A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.

Yet again yesterday J decided to fall asleep just before school run time so I think I'm going to have to try and get him on to a schedule as his feeding times are so erratic and his sleep is rubbish. Are my choices GF or the Baby Whisperer or are there any others I can look at? My older two were fed on demand and napped when they wanted to with the exception of a firm bedtime. So I'm completely clueless on how to start. If I implement a schedule after Easter he'll be five months old. Is that a good time to start or will I have missed the best window? Help quiche!

Conjunctivitis dot com—that’s a site for sore eyes.

Jo frost (super nanny) also has a schedule ...but it doesn't really tell you how to implement it)
I think gf is very strict I could never do it to myself... don't think she says how to start at 5months.

I used Save our Sleep by Tizzie Hall and found it a nice balance and talks about fitting in with school runs etc. Also big focus on them self settling and i liked it as was a nice balance of letting them 'protest' grizzle but not letting them scream it out xx

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I'm also considering trying to get my two onto a schedule. LO isn't a problem, the problem is DD1! I'll have them both at home full time from April until I go back to work (if that happens) and I won't cope if they aren't runningnto clockwork. I had a massive meltdown on Wednesday when I felt I couldn't cope with all the animals and the children and the house. I'm feeling better now as I have got on top of the housework but to be honest I want my evenings back, and sharing them with DD1 with the best will in the world won't work when she is home full time.i would love for her to be in bed by 8, then we could have two or three hours us time. I actually don't remember when my DH and I had a proper conversation without a small person interupting. Yesterday I had two hours where they both napped at the same time and it was fucking amazing i got so much done.

I'm thinking I might just bite the bullet and buy Gina Ford and go for it.

pr did you say you have a fondness for Avery in Greys? I hadn't got to that point then. I have now. I'm a little bit in love. The Mc's are old news

Yeah Avery, Sloane and Webber. I don't like floppy hair McDreamy :)

as I'm going to have to pay a quid now anyway I thought I would pay 2
just saw this review of the tizzie book which kinda puts me off.. "I absolutely believe that it would do no emotional or psychological damage to a baby to protest for six or seven hours if that's what it takes" pg.200

If this direct quote does not put you off this book then I can't imagine what will.

If you view your baby as an opponent and want to 'win' (winning is mentioned many times in the book) then this is the book for you. Helpful top tips such as making yourself a 'score chart' allocating a point to your baby if you can't stand the screaming and give in and one to you if you can tough it out, apparently if you do this 'after a few days you will be winning every time' seriously??

A section called 'Baby Payback' is just terrifying.... 'I often come across a baby who has learned to vomit at bedtime during failed attempts at controlled crying. If you have one of these babies you will need to teach your child that vomiting will not get your attention.' My heart breaks for the poor little babies ignored and left to scream until they are so distressed they are sick and then do not even get held, soothed and loved after that. This goes against all of my instincts as a mother, instincts that are there for a good reason.

If I could give this book less than one star I would, if you are a sleep deprived parent frantically searching for a way to get more sleep but want to gently teach the child to feel secure and relax into sleeping, please keep searching and do not buy this book. (Different things work for different babies but mine started sleeping through with a heavily modified version of the sleeping chapters in 'Baby Secrets' + common sense)

This book is really very odd in so many ways (custard apparently causes sleep problems... who knew?!) and I cannot adequately express how much I hate it. Your baby is helpless and loves you unconditionally, please love them back and don't try to score points against them.

Webber - not so much
Perhaps we should lace the grown-ups sleepy dust with images of Avery?

pr you read any gf ? I could try to paraphrase or photograph some of it as I don't know whether it will help its very strict down to the minute stuff ... you have to get baby up at 7 not 7.30 7 and it tells you when to eat etc you get a 2 hour gap in the day to go out think you may find it actually more restricting!

contra any contributions to Comic Relief are optional. £5 is a lot of money to some people. I already do my bit for charity and my childrens school events related to tgis have cost £10 already. The sponsored silence is not something the quiche has agreed to, unless I missed something, and 10-4 is too long. This forum is primarily for support, and I would hate for any of us to feel that we cannot post if in need of advice, company, or to rant. It is a nice idea in theory, but not for here, not now, IMO. Besides, detective will not be up yet and she is having a shitter of a time.

There is no way I would leave a baby to cry for seven hours. Or, actually, even one hour. And that's not completely from concern for the baby's wellbeing. I just hate the noise. I reckon I could get to 20 minutes, which should be more than enough if the child is actually tired.

Webber gets better as he gets older. It's literally in the current series (9) that I think he is fanciable.

This morning at half six had a battle with my shutters. They were frozen shut and I have to open the windows to open the shutters, so was freezing my tits off beating the crap out of the shutters to get them to open. Never been so hard before, and DH has just told me that it was minus 13 when he left at 7, which explains it. It's March for fucks sake. MARCH. Winter, please go and do one. That's the coldest morning we have had all winter.

honestly cant say ever come across that quote to be fair! waht the book did help me do was distinguish them protesting as would rather be cuddled and crying as something was wrong. 6 or 7 hours would never ever happen anyway as they would need a feed surely? seems bit odd to me!

Blimey PR frozen shutters?! Please tell me you get super hot summers over there to make up for it?!

sorry vq was meant as a joke!

sorry if I'm annoying people
I don't have any contact with places to donate now I'm not at work or out and about thought others may not too and there may be others that haven't donated yet and want to.
I wouldn't want to push the charity on anyone but there are a lot of poor families out there as some of our stories testify and a lot of peeps in need. Guess I am missing the atmosphere people in town buckets fancy dress everyone in it for a good cause!
also thought the joke idea was good (whoevers that was - I can't remember).

Oh I didn't realise it was that strict. Well I will make up my own vague routine, that is how it worked with DD1 before the move, birth and hospital trio of chaos. I'm having regula conversations with her about sleeping in her own room soon, and this morning, for the first time, she nodded. So progress is being made.

No sponsored silence from me I'm afraid. As worthy as Comic Relief is, as as much as I used to enjoy watching it (this will be the first year I have British TV in 14 years) I find the permanent harassment on TV very distasteful. I will watch, and laugh, but prefer to deal with worthy causes closer to home in France.Or would if I had any money

ok, have just looked it up in the book and the full part says
when to pull the plug
very rarely a baby has got more willpower than you could ever imagine - i have come across only 6 babies in my while life where you have to say enough is enough because the normal stages of tantrum/protesting crying just go on and on. I absolutely believe that it would do no emotional or psychological damage to a baby to protest for six or seven hours if that is what it takes for the tantrum to end (providing it is ensured that they are not ill or genuinely upset); however, I would be very concerned at the emotional and psychological damage it might do to the parents or their relationship. Few paretns no matter how sleep-deprived or strong, could listen to a protest tantrum for over two hours, so I tell parents of marathon running to always go in at that point (if have waited that long) and to help their baby to sleep. though not perfect scenario, the protest needs to end, and giving up and getting the baby up would be a worst outcome - it would teach her to yell and tantrum for two hours to be picked up. So I believe going in and helping her to sleep is a good compromise.

Also want to say this seems to imply to much older babies than ours that have presiously been sleeping and in a routine and have hit a difficult stage...

think as with all these things you take from books what works for you, I certainly never followed any book to the letter. i found the inital teaching a young baby to self settle very good. just letting them protest for very short periods before reassuring them and going straight in if they were 'upset' crying (talks about different types of cry). Mostly I used the routines as they fitted in well with us and also when things started to go a bit pearshaped i could pick the book and see what it suggested, usually that it was time for the routine to be adjusted slightly - has differnt routines for different ages and again if bf or bottle feeding. Again think depends on what sort of baby you have and what sort of parent you are!

misslaughalot yes we do get some very hot weather, though last year was shite, except for the three days when we moved house. It was 35 degrees and I was 6 months pregnant and very unamused, though the extra effort got my weight gain under control and the Dr went from telling me to eat less to telling me to eat more.

Normally by end of March we have a few days in the mid 20s so looking forward to that. As once it gets much hotter I wilt.

contra I thought you were being serious no worries