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March 2013- here we go....

983 replies

Oodsigma · 10/03/2013 09:37

Welcome old & new to the other side!

I'll start with a stats list!

Ood -ds 7/3/13, dc4! Elcs

If anyone wants to add any more details feel free!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
pudtat · 18/04/2013 15:04

So had a good and bad day yesterday. Went along to local children's centre group/clinic thing to get LO weighed as my HV is on hols this week. Good news was that he has gained the 25g per day since last weigh in 8 days ago which we have been targetting (yay!) esp as he has been having more from me and less top up formula. Downside was that he has JUST dropped through the 2nd centile (was just over 50th at birth and now just under 9th) and so they had to make a referral to a paediatrician. He has said he isn't bothered yet as we are under the care of a bf coordinator still, but it was still a knock to the old confidence. Still, he's obviously doing well so I refuse to let it get to me.

plonko · 18/04/2013 15:55

Pudtat at least he's gaining and you're hitting the target. It sounds like you're doing incredibly well - at least the ped wasn't too concerned.

I think it's time for us to start putting the baby upstairs with the monitor on in the evenings. I guess it may not work immediately but if it helps him differentiate between day and night then it's all to the good. Weighed DS yesterday (well my dad stood on scales with him then we did a bit of maths) and he's dwfinitely had that growth spurt! He's now on 5x180ml bottles everyday, so I'm trying to time it so he will sleep through. Taking the opportunity to do this while DP is away so I don't have to worry s out nighttime disturbances. I think it could work but maybe I'm crazy for trying it without support!

StormyBrid · 18/04/2013 16:01

5x180ml... I will not stress about plonko's baby eating 50% more than mine, I will not stress... When you say sleeping through, what are you aiming for?

Had to stick my head in and reinsert the dummy twice, then all went quiet. Just had a brief cry and all quiet again. They really do go for forty five minute sleep cycles, don't they? Plan: get her up by 4.30, feed change play etc for about an hour and a half, 45 minute catnap, play bath feed and bed by eight o'clock. Fingers crossed...

plonko · 18/04/2013 16:54

Aiming for no feeds between 11pm and 7am, when he seems to naturally wake up. I'm not trying to force anything, just gently ease him into doing it. And he's a hungry little bugger, I decided to give him the big bottles after he was snacking and moaning pretty much all day and night yesterday.

I'm hoping to follow your play bath feed routine this evening. Fingers crossed!

StormyBrid · 18/04/2013 17:21

Revised plan: baby up at 4, fussy feed, giant poo, grumpy tired baby, catnap at 5. Hoping for sleep until six then the bath and bed thing.

Have you been doing dream feeds in the night, plonko? If yes, be prepared for an earlier waking - eight hours is still quite a long time for such a tiny tummy. Good luck with it!

leniwhite · 18/04/2013 18:53

Stormy - yep, fingernails clipped, but still able to grab my flesh and scratch me Confused

Boba Wrap is great btw, OH is currently wearing him in it after other grandad visited today and DS had a meltdown.

Got visitors every day until Sunday, feel as if I have to host still even though I hope they don't expect it. OH is home for 4 days and I want my two boys to myself!

StormyBrid · 18/04/2013 20:42

Edited revised plan: baby up at six, perfectly happy bath, screaming meltdown when removed from the bath, dress baby, weep internally as baby cries so hard she's a little bit sick on her freshly washed neck, feed, and into bed by seven. In other words: not such a great bedtime as yesterday.

Then I rang my sister, and when the baby started crying a few minutes later, she said to wait ten minutes before going up. After nine minutes, she stopped. Twenty minutes later, crying again, stopped after two minutes. Half an hour later, cried again, stopped after thirty seconds. Now all quiet, and she is presumably asleep. I am under strict instructions not to cave before ten minutes, and even then, just to go up, check nappy, temperature, arm-flailings, dummy, etc, and if everything's fine, shush her a bit without talking to her, and then leave the room, and see if she's still crying in ten more minutes. Persistence will be required. I hope this works, because ten whole minutes is hard.

leni -get the visitors to make you cups of tea. You had a baby less than a month ago, you're officially still recuperating and mustn't over-exert yourself. Grin

plonko · 18/04/2013 20:53

Wow Stormy, I'm amazed you're so resilient with the controlled crying. I'd completely cave! Having said that I do bring the baby into our bed if he fusses around 6am because it usually enables us to get another hour of sleep. Plonkino is sometimes able to settle himself, but when he's not the crying tends to turn into screaming/shrieking! If he's just whimpering I tend to leave him to it.

We've managed four feeds today so I anticipate having to do one in the middle of the night. I've settled him in the cot with the baby monitor switched on - for the first time! I'm alone downstairs watching TV, the kitchen is spotless and I'm relaxing... I can hear him grunting but I don't think it's anything that warrants a trip upstairs. I never got the hang of the night time dreamfeed Stormy - I think I sleep too deeply. He usually takes a bottle between 2 and 4 am, so we'll see what happens later.

I wish I had some wine in the house Grin

StormyBrid · 18/04/2013 21:00

Have to be resilient - it won't work otherwise. I do not want her learning that if it's night-time and she wakes up if she cries long enough she'll get cuddles or playtime or excitement. And I don't think I could do it without people on the other end of the phone to talk me through it and stop me dashing up there too soon.

Wine sounds good, but I don't fancy this controlled crying business after a drink or six - when it's four in the morning and the hangover's starting to make itself known really would not be the best time to have to deal with the crying.

WingDefence · 18/04/2013 21:15

Keep going Stormy. Can you remind me how old your DD is? I did it (only needed to a few times) with DS and I went 5 mins then 10 then 15. I called my mum when I was sitting there outside his room, listening to him cry and she completely helped me do it. You need someone like your sister to support you and be there to pass the time until DD either stops or you go in to comfort her.

No plan at my end yet but DD is only 3 weeks old tomorrow seems like far longer! so I'm going to wait until 6 weeks.

I bought a manual pump on eBay but it won't arrive until next week so I'll try to hand express a bit tomorrow and we'll start DH trying a bottle tomorrow afternoon. Wish us luck!

DD is having a little snooze on me at the moment. I'll wake her and change her at half past ish then give her another feed before we put her down... Good luck all tonight Brew

StormyBrid · 18/04/2013 21:20

Wing she'll be six weeks exactly in four hours. Good time to start, you reckon?

Rainbowbabyhope · 18/04/2013 22:07

Stormy don't know how you manage a whole ten minutes of crying! We are doing pretty much the opposite of controlled crying at least till little one is 10-12 weeks when babies apparently start forming habits properly according to my midwife. DD only generally seems to cry when there is something she needs or something is wrong anyway - food, changing, wind or just needing a few cuddles. We are very relaxed about routine in that we never wake her on purpose and exclusively breastfeed on demand. This seems to be working really well for us as DD seems to have settled into a natural rythym of her own which is pretty much the same every day and night by 6 weeks. She sleeps most nights from 9pm ish to 7 or 8am ish with two sleepy breastfeeds in that time which take ten minutes each and then back to sleep straight away in her bedside cot with occassional morning cuddles in our bed. Really interesting to read different approaches though as every baby is different and I am sure I will need to draw on all of your different tactics at some point!

Rainbowbabyhope · 18/04/2013 22:12

Leni I have a Moby wrap sling which is one bit of light stretchy fabric you tie up and it is brilliant - usually use it for walks rather than the pram as little one loves it and it has the added benefit of more exercise for me! I love using a sling - now that DD has more awake time I pop her into it and we go round the house doing bits with her watching intently!

StormyBrid · 18/04/2013 22:28

Rainbow - it's only been one lengthy crying stretch so far, and I went outside for a smoke so didn't have to listen. I suspect this counts as cheating though! I know she's not hungry, her nappy's clean, she's been burped and so on, so there is nothing wrong that I can fix, she just needs to sleep, and me going in there as soon as she squeaks isn't going to help with that.

Mine's the same in that she generally only cries when she's tired or hungry (she is a very good baby really, I've been bloody lucky there). And hopefully she'll soon get the idea that night = sleep, and learn how to drop off without help (which she managed throughout last night so it's clearly possible). I just can't cope with her being up with us all evening and half the night - it's not doing my stress levels or sanity any good. I feel a bit horrible for even thinking this, but I need time apart from my baby sometimes.

Right. Bedtime for me. Hope everyone a has peaceful and scream-free night.

leniwhite · 19/04/2013 04:12

Rainbow do you burp after dream feeds? (Well not you personally obviously!)

StormyBrid · 19/04/2013 05:38

We don't, leni - apparently when asleep they drink more slowly and take a lot less air in and don't generally need it. And we've not noticed any problems with it so far. Glad you asked though - if we get crying not long after a dream feed I will bear in mind there could be wind issues.

Why does half past five in the morning exist? It is a thoroughly stupid time of day.

Baby gave a couple of sleepy cries at 5am and I leapt out bed. Then I came to my senses and got back into bed. She did the same again a few minutes later so I got up and went for a cigarette. Trying to hold off until gone 6am as it's too early for breakfast. Still squeaking occasionally but not properly crying. Will see how this goes...

eigmum · 19/04/2013 07:30

Stormy I have done the same thing as your sister says to get a routine going. As we hasn't left the monitor on properly we thought she had stopped crying after two minutes but was actually still crying at 15 ( oops) but she stooped after one more little session two nights ago. Last night she cried for 2 mins and asleep At 7.15. Dream feed at 10.30 and again at 3 and up T 6.30. Feeling human again. Like pundat I think she could go longer as tough to waken at three but as I am breastfeeding I can't be sure she doesn't need the milk so will keep waking and offering til she is either 12 weeks or 12 pounds. The thing with the crying like your sister says is it's easier to do early at 6 to 8 weeks, if you try and do later it still wors but they cry longer.... Clerly if they are hungry or windy we go but the tired cry we leave ...

pudtat · 19/04/2013 08:06

we generally have a routine atm but it doesn't work with a proper baby bedtime as the c7.30 feed usually turns into a marathon like last night where he spent 2 hours on the boob (stop starting and with a nappy change in the middle) before taking 100mls top up. then wouldn't settle til eventually had to do further 15 min feed to get him zonked enough to go in his basket. how do we implement bedtime into that?

WingDefence · 19/04/2013 09:21

pud that's sounds like our routine in the evening, apart from the topping up. Oops better go as she's crying!

pudtat · 19/04/2013 10:07

Argh! CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP!!!! Just spilled half the bottle of milk i've just spent the last 30 mins expressing! Hard enough to find time as it is and i really wanted to be back in bed. Sad

WingDefence · 19/04/2013 10:15

ARSE! Angry I held a bottle under one of my leaking boobs this morning when I was feeding DD as per the MW's suggestion and got half an ounce out just like that. Amazing how watery that foremilk is. I tried to hand express directly into the bottle but it just was dripping out over my fingers so I'm going to have to try something else. I assume it squirts out after a while (anyone who has hand expressed out there?!)?

WingDefence · 19/04/2013 10:18

The arse was for you pudtat by the way!

StormyBrid · 19/04/2013 12:09

pudtat my baby whisperer book (which is working on a three hour repeating routine) says feed at 4, catnap from 5.15-6, then first cluster feed (not even quite sure what cluster feeds are, presumably just a boob thing?) then bath and bedtime routine and then second cluster feed and into bed by 8. That's the typical 4 week old routine, anyway. Whether that information's of any use to you I don't know - the book's not big on demand feeding once breastfeeding's established. Much easier to figure it out with bottles!

We're not quite going to plan here today. Got her up and fed at six and then she announced she was tired, so back down for a nap at 6.45 and she went straight to sleep so I went back to bed. And didn't wake up until 9.45. So much for the three hour routine... but at least we're back on schedule now - fed at 10 and down for a nap at 11.15. She wanted to sleep straight after her feed, and cried for quite a while, but I resisted, as she's not going to sleep well at night if she sleeps all day. And after twenty minutes of being a right grumpy little bugger, she perked up a bit and played air guitar with her dad before he went to work. Planning to get her up at 12.30 so she can be awake for a while before 1pm feed, and a catnap 1.45-2.30 before my dad picks her up. She'll be home at 6, then it's bath and bed routine, and cross fingers.

Also thinking we need to rejig our night-time feeds. Past two nights it's been nearly 11 and then 2am, and she's properly woken up by 5.45, which is no use for a 7am start to the day. So I'm thinking 10pm and 1am, then if she wakes up between 4 and 5 she can have milk and then straight back to bed.

Oh, and pudtat, a thought - could he be just wanting to suck something, or is he actually drinking throughout the marathon session? If it's the former then you may just have to be harsh and not let him, or go for a dummy.

zigwig · 19/04/2013 12:11

wing I hand expressed for a couple of weeks at the beginning and it was horrendously frustrating. It's well worth investing in a pump even if it just a cheap hand pump. I used to have to do weird contortions to try to collect it. I found into a small plastic pot was easiest but the amount that I lost through it missing the pot made me cry it took so long to do.

Well I tried my best last night to leave him. The first screaming episode was obviously wind going off the monster farts so I jiggled him about til it calmed down changed his nappy and put him back. He then promptly started crying but I knew he was fine so managed to leave while I got ready. Came back, reinserted dummy and replaced scrunched up blanket then waited til he was calm and got myself into bed. Cue more crying. Sneaked a look over at him and he was staring straight at me doing his best sulky face so clearly doing it to get picked up. Left him 5 min then went through dummy/blanket replacement. Kept doing it and each time the crying got less convincing until he just sat there looking about calmly. I couldn't manage to leave him longer than 15 min crying but I still felt accomplished as it proved he was only wanting in our bed.

Right farty baby calm so am going to try get him to sleep in his basket and then go figure out this monitor so he can start going upstairs to bed in the evening.

StormyBrid · 19/04/2013 12:22

Nice one, zigwig! A full fifteen minutes' crying with no intervention would feel horrible, I agree. But you've learned what he's up to now, and that's great - you don't have to fret about what's bothering him, so when he's calm you can just leave him to it and go to sleep yourself. Good luck tonight!