November 2012 - They WERE sleeping, what happened?

[StuntNun]

Previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/1688444-November-2012-Forget-50-books-in-2013-well-have-50-threads

Oh Tits ((((hugs)))) so glad you are beginning to talk about it.

Sorry to hear you're feeling in a bad way Tits. After the PGP in pregnancy, your difficult time in labour and the stresses of juggling the needs of a newborn with the rest of your family it is perhaps not surprising that you continue to have a low mood. Well done for facing up to it and remember we are here to listen if you need it, to support you any way we can, and to celebrate your successes as you tackle the PND. Hopefully this can be the start of everything getting better for you. I wish I could do something more concrete to help out. But please remember what we have already been through together as a group, and that we will continue to face up to new challenges together. That's the beauty of our quiche. In the meantime extra for you.

I phoned HMRC VQ and they told me what form to fill in. I got my tax refund in September as I wasn't going to be earning any more in the tax year.

You can get lovely bras in big cup sizes Chunky and Lilliana I got a gorgeous Panache 32H which is white lace over a hot pink lining. Freya and HotMilk also do sexy nursing bras.

Tits Talk Talk Talk to us all you want ... someone is here to listen 24 hours a day x

tits I know nothing about PND but I am certain that you have just taken the hardest step. All of your anxieties will make sense to someone else on the group - there is nothing irrational about anything you say. I really hope that this step gives you the strength you need to get to the GP and get some support. You know we are always here for virtual hand holding.

More virtual hand holding for kyzordz and VQ. It would seem that our thankful group has had a melancholy day. It makes me think of a wee chat we had the other day when we were reflecting on why we all got on and why we were so supportive of each other when the rest of MN can be awful. I think it is because at the end of the day we all ooze being committed and fabulous mums. Being committed and fabulous is exhausting but there is no break. Because of that we will all have days where something has to break - we can't physical stop so we have to have an emotional break. A day where smiling and cooing through the crying or endlessly trying to entertain a frustrated an immobile infant just seems a stretch too far. We get through these days and come out the other side with noone worse for wear.

I think I know someone in real life who will be particularly thankful today. Yesterday the door been rang so DH answered it with P in his arms. I was upstairs and glanced out the window. I could see one of our neighbours standing in her bare feet in the middle of the cul de sac. She was holding on to her 18 month old - clutching him and burying her face in his. When I got downstairs DH was holding p looking pretty ashen. Apparently the door bell had been a man walking his dog who had seen the toddler out on the road. He went round ringing every door bell until his mum bolted out the door obviously just havig realised he was gone. We have no idea how he got out but the handles are low and easy to use. Certainly a lesson to us. It probably never entered her head he could get out.

tits (((((hugs))))) and well done for taking the first step towards recovery.

Wise words pass I like 'committed and fabulous' very much, and will tell myself this.

I plan to have my hair cut next week, and look at my clothes situation. I think if I spend a bit more time on myself it will help me in a lot of ways.

tits Well done for recognising it and being brave enough to talk about it. You have been through an awful lot so it's not a huge surprise that you are finding things difficult. As someone who has struggled with depression myself I can tell you that the most important thing is to be open with your partner and family about it and keep talking. There is nothing worse than bottling it up so well done for taking this step. Whenever you need to offload about anything at all you know we are here

I got a phone call this evening from the doctors surgery. They have had DS's test result back from the hospital. He has tested positive for reducing substances which means that he has a problem absorbing lactose from milk. The doctor has written a prescription for a different kind of milk which he has to take for a month. From what I understand it's only a temporary intolerance caused when the stomach lining is damaged through illness and once it has healed he should be ok to go back to his normal milk. I hope so anyway

Sorry tits my last post sounded wrong, I know it's not all about how attractive you feel. I have suffered from depression too and think as others have said you have done the best thing you can by facing up to it and beginning to talk about it. You've been through a lot, be kind to yourself

Sending love to VQ, Kyz and especially to Tits. I never knew until I became a Mum just how difficult it could be and the hard days are so draining. I was thinking this afternoon that even five minutes of baby screaming is enough to make your brain fizz.

Having been through MH difficulties in the past I know how hard it can be to see it in yourself and you have done a brilliant job to keep focus and understand yourself enough to be able to say that you need help Tits. That is such a strong thing to do. I hope you have RL support but we are always here day and night (great thing about new Mums with wakeful babies!) to listen or just chat. You are going to be ok but for now it's ok not to be and focus on starting to get the help that's out there. All the best xx

Tits

Pass 'committed and fabulous' I love that.

apple great to get a diagnosis - FC it clears quickly.

VQ I can heartily recommend a hairdressers trip to put a relaxed smile on your face - this from the lowest maintenance most slummy Mummy on the planet. OK two days later my hair was back in a bun but meh!!!

Tits and well done for working out what is wrong. I know you don't believe me right now but you are not weak or pathetic for suffering from PND.

Tits depression isn't a sign of weakness, it's a sign you've been strong too long. I've been through ptsd, supported my best mate through pnd and dp is currently depressed from his loss of abilities. I cannot stress how wonderful modern medicine is, please trust your dr. If you want to offload to a stranger, I'm happy to do Gunwharf or Whiteley sometime

I'm thankful for new friends and old, and a baby who naps in shopping centres!

tits you are very brave. Hugs, and virtual support. How do you feel now?

Sorry for my absenteeism generally, will catch up properly. On a little tour of friends and family with DS and DD while work being done at home. Reaping the rewards of 3 KIT days - an extra £300! So am going to do 3 in March and 3 in April before my mat leave ends which will really really help.

And as for sleep - DS finally passes out at around 1830, DD finally goes to bed reasonably willingly immediately after this, but the buggers have both been awake and ready to party at 5am. For the last 4 days. Grrr.

I love this quiche to everyone for being freaking awesome mummies/wives/daughters/organisational whizkids/horse riders/pet owners/etc

Dp is coming out the other side of depression, and my mum had pnd after my brother was born - so a bit of experience; admitting things aren't right is a good first step.

pidj we had your chicken/lentil/veg slow-cooker yumness tonight, thumbs up from dh (this is praise indeed)

LO is grumpy as tonight, she hasn't napped at all, even after a 50 minute walk in the pram. Finally flaked out now after feeding forever and 2 poonamis new outfit, needed christening

Glad he liked it, BPLP :o

tits depression and anxiety are shit. When you feel ready speak to someone in real life. Then take baby steps. As a past sufferer I never ever want that feeling again. It's awful. I feel for you.

vq hugs. I think hairdresser sounds good!! Just a small bit of you time will do you the world of good!! I have no idea wrt hmrc. They've changed my tax code. No idea why!! Am much confused!!

passomg with the toddler. Totally not the same but small curly (the one who's pic I took) kept escaping out the garden. I can't imagine the panic of your child :( we always lock our front door. But will make me triple check it!!

Going to sensory splash tomorrow!!! Went to yoga and the cinema today!!

Jonas did his first bath poo. Eeeewwww. Poor show as it was me bathing him as DH is working late to clear his desk for our few days away. He had the good grace not to whinge whilst I cleaned the bath and ran another....

Tits can't add anything to the wonderful comments above (literally - everything I was going to write is there already). Sending you more courage to keep going with the day-in day-out stuff & to continue the step by seeking further help.

VQ recommend hairdressers. My DM commented on my hair again today, saying it looked like I'd spent ages doing it as it was looking so good, I hadn't. All because of a trim.

pass great words, thank you. Had a tiny tear at the fear that poor woman must have felt. I always lock my door because DD has a habit of opening it for whomever knocks, so daren't risk it if I'm otherwise engaged.

stunt I will shop around, but after our wee holiday next week. I think my boobs are quite close at the front, so will have to get quite a 'sexy' style (I.e. can't have a wide 'gore'). How many women are actually wearing the wrong bra though??!!

Gon

Poop.

Going to watch some more TWW now dcs are asleep. Might check in later, but if not, wishing you all a peaceful night & a bright spring-like morning.

Hugs and tits given the tough pregnancy you had its not surprising you are suffering now - its a well known trigger. Recognising it is the first step, and we are here for whatever you need us for. Try and see you GP though, as there is help available.

Hugs to kyzordz and VQ too.

Glad you've got a diagnosis apple Hopefully it'll heal soon and he'll be back to normal.

Yuck YW

Where's detective today?!

Brb!

Thankyou all, as usual. LO still being a pain with his bottles but we'll get through it. I have made him chuckle twice this afternoon, and they were the most wonderful sounds ever! It might be hard sometimes but he's so worth it. I keep chastising myself because he's an easy baby and I still 'can't cope' but clearly I can because he is 4 months old and healthy so I've done something right.

tits the first step is admitting it and you've been so brave and done so well. I have suffered with depression and it feels like there's no end to it but there is, and you're being very brave and you'll get there. Never forget we're all here because own problems or not, We're here for each other when we need support.

apple hope your ds will be ok soon

pass I too like committed and fabulous. Also scary stuff re: the toddler :O

yw we have had 3 bath poos to date. Many a bath wee, of course.

Mum has gone to hull to visit my sister, she won't be back until Sunday. I pray we survive that long without her as back up! I keep thinking over and over I can do it, I can do it, I can do it. Why did 'until' up there in the previous sentence keep changing to urinal? How odd.

Thank you all

DH has just entertained me and DS unintentionally. DS did a poo whilst wearing a disposable. DH was holding him at the time, and commented on the noise, wondering if it was a poo or a fluff.

Five minutes later, DS was getting restless, so he went to give him back to me. I asked him if he could change his bum and put him in his gro bag. DH grumpily obliged.

Cue horrified noises from DH. Poo everywhere, pooey clothes being thrown everywhere, requests for flannels and towels, me saying I am happy to take over at each comment. Then he put him in two vests instead of a vest and a sleep suit, then put the gro bag on back to front, then inside out. At this point DS could no longer see the funny side of it so I took over. Clearly I need to get him to do more.

I was wondering where detective was. What are you up to woman?

Tonight before bedtime p took, wait for it, 220ml! A-maze-ing! She drained a 150ml bottle in literally 5 minutes and was still sucking hard when it finished so I made her another 90ml. Weirdly, she fights the bottle when you try to give it to her but then takes loads. I would assume she wouldn't do all the tongue lapping stimulating the nipple stuff if she wasn't actually wanting it. So she took another 70ml. DH came in as she was pushing the second bottle away. He was all like "oh! That's a good amount!" He was V impressed that was bottle 2! I would be so chuffed if she would ditch the 60ml bottles

yw We have had a bath poo too.. While I was in the bath with him

I feel so bad going to work tomorrow when DS isn't well. Evil mummy. I thought he would be better long before now or I wouldn't have agreed to it. At least it's just one day at work then two days with him. Then I'm in again on Monday but that should be the last time for a few months. Hopefully now he's got his lactose free milk he will improve quickly.