October 2011 - Learning to accept our babies are toddlers

[ClimbingPenguin]

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I've hired someone to get all our babies to sleep while we go get sloshed in the corner

Hope you get your free meal pebble

sassy a dog sounds great (although I'm more of a cat person) but the trouble with collies is that they really are working dogs who need a lot of stimulation and get bored easily so maybe a different breed would be better.

I'm off work today think I've caught a virus from DH although I have different symptoms the timings right. Feel a bit dizzy nd on the verge of queezy :(

W is testing his boundaries a bit at the moment I think, picked him up from nursery the other day to be told he had head butted another child because they were on the seesaw and he wanted it on the pluses side nursery did say he knew it was wrong when told off! He's not done anything like that before (or since thankfully) so hopefully one good telling off was enough!

M has been pushing the boundaries today as well strawb. He keeps pulling books of the shelves and kept trying to climb all over me on the sofa while I was eating this evening (DH was late home so M had already eaten). Also, throwing himself on the floor when he doesn't get his own way, little diva

I have a seriously delicious bottle of dessert wine waiting for me. One of my favourites but they only seem to sell it here around holidays, so grabbed the last 3 bottles on shelf when I went to the supermarket this morning, and will have to raid Albert Heijn again before Easter is done and dusted. I don't have a drink problem. Honest.

Hope you and DH are feeling better LP. When I think about it, our streak of illness has actually been going since the end of October when we all got a nasty virus a few days before my Dsis's wedding, and I was ill again about 3 weeks later for 2 whole weeks(all while writing a novel), then DH started to go down hill emotionally at the beginning of December and I was super stressed about school production just before Christmas. Looking back I've been like a hamster on a wheel. Time to breathe and relax a little methinks.

all round!

We have floor flopping as well eng he goes all sort of boneless and collapses in a heap while crying. Nursery say he doesn't do that there but does run and sulk in a corner when told no there which he doesn't at home. Funny little things aren't they enjoy your

I'm not the person to ask about dogs am afraid as am not a fan! However I love cats. Love em. Am lobbying DH to get one but isn't working so far and not helped by a local millionaire campaigning against cats on environmental grounds who, it has to be said, makes good points. We live near an amazing native bird sanctuary, and the millionaire guy has led a public campaign that if the people around here get cats, the sanctuary just becomes a giant cat food factory. Sigh. I still want one though and will just hope it doesn't bring home any rare birds

Cheshire I will take a year! Am looking forward to it. Am getting hormonal and obsessed about two things:

1. Whether to keep A in creche although it would mean the cost of our yearly family holiday so would be one or other; and
2. What buggy to get - a double?

Anyone have views?

I had forgotten about how last pregnancy I got unreasonably obsesses with things as well. The part of pregnancy no-one tells you about!

A's new word is the maori word for fish (ika). It's only the second maori word he's picked up though, which is hardly a surprise as DH and I use the language in a very token way. Engels how is M's dutch?

Strawb we have boundary pushing as well. When I tell him he can't do something he smiles and tries again at least 2 times just to make sure. Grrr. When is the age to start time out? I have no idea.

I'd love a dog too!! But with having 2 house cats already, I don't think there is anymore room at the inn . The family I nannied for had a lovely dog. She is honestly one of a kind! A springer spaniel, so a working dog, but she's brilliant. They sent her away for 6 weeks when she was still a puppy to be properly trained so she is on the ball with everything. I miss her as much as the kids at times

Hope you ladies (and babies!) are feeling better. Cold and snotty nose seems to have cleared so S is back to her usual self. She's another one for the 'floppy, lay in a heap on the floor when I can't get my own way' diva moments! I end up just leaving her there and she quickly jumps up again
She's had moments recently of pulling my hair. She comes up behind me if I'm sitting on the couch and grabs my hair with both hands. She done it so hard yesterday that she pulled out a handful! I actually shouted with pain as she caught me off guard and I think she got a fright as she burst out crying . I gave her a hug and tried to say 'gentle with hair' and touched her hair softly. She then was touching mine and saying it back to me so I'm hoping she got the message!! Was bloody agony!

Staying at my parents tonight as I'm working early tomorrow morning and with the snow just now, I didn't want to take the chance of being stuck. Where the hell is spring?!?!

I think that I will keep M in nursery if/when we have DC2. I think it's good for his social development (and they do much mroe fun stuff than I do at home), will give him some continuity when DC2 is born and also mean that I am able to give time to DC2. But then I understand how much of a financial commitment it is. And it's unlikely I would take a year off - people here tend to use their statutory (sp?) maternity time (which for me is 16 weeks full pay) and then come back with reduced hours and use their parental leave that way. You're not entitled to a year here, though you could lump all of your parental leave together to take longer off. I did that a bit with M and extended my maternity leave by 6-7 weeks, and then reduced my working hours from 4 days to 2 for the rest of the school year and then to 3 days this year. I'm all out of parental leave now though, so since I'm not pg, my only options are to a) go back to working 4 days or b) reduce my contract to 3 days (which is what I'm doing).

As for the double buggy - I'm not sure. Would a buggy board be an option or would A be too young for that?

M doesn't have loads of words yet Pen. His only regular ones are mama, papa and hello (definitely an English hello instead of a Dutch hallo but it works!). He started saying 'out' yesterday, copying me (whihc sounds exactly like the Dutch uit ). In the past he ahs said happen (to take a bite) and lekker (yummy) but I haven't heard them for a while.

When I picked him up a few days ago nursery said that when they asked him to do something in Dutch he would often ignore them, but when they repeated it in English he would do it.

I think he's getting an equal level of language interaction. He gets 2 days of exclusive English at home with me, and he also hears me and DH speaking English to each other. He gets 3 days of exclusive Dutch (one day with DH and 2 at nursery) and then 2 days at the weekend with us both.

Someone else said (can't remember who or if on here or on fb!) that their LO had been really quick with all the physical stuff like crawling and walking, but had decided to go slower with speech - that's M as well!

Duck - ouch! No snow here but very cold wind. I want the frosts to stop so that I can start redoing my garden and gettign some plants in (and so that DH works on the gate so I can finally take M into the back garden without hovering over him, afraid he's going to run into the road!

We finally seem to be over the lurgy, apart from hacking coughs (but nowhere near as bad as the last week). Lots of schoolwork to do this weekend but am finally feeling a bit normal again. So maybe I can stop moaning on MN

Forgot to say that another reason for keeping M in nursery would be that if we took him out and wanted to put him back in, then they may not have a place for him (they didn't have a place for the first few months, so I ended up only working for 2 days instead of 3 with DH and MIL covering childcare for the days I worked). Our nursery is really lovely AND super-convenient (opposite our house) and we wouldn't want to take him somewhere else.

Will come back properly to read and respond but Sassy there is NO WAY I would have a puppy (if that's what they are) with small children, it's too much work.

We have always had dogs in the Family and a mixture of from either pups or adult rescue but our current dog was very ill as a pup pooping everywhere because he couldn't help it and throwing up and constantly at the vets (turned out he had irritable bowel). Also I did think when P was tiny that just a baby would be a piece of p**s as I always had to get up early to get the dog out for a walk and wee with P even if she hadn't slept all night (dog iis 4 now).

He ate the dining table, wellies, shoes, remote control, apple crumble, quiche, cat food, cushions, dog shit etc etc and tbf he is a well behaved dog!

It's getting easier again with P now being older but as someone else said Collies need loads of exercise.

TBH I would only recommend an adult rescue Greyhound, bloody lazy, well behaved, just happy for a warm sofa. Anything other than that and you are bonkers

Pene my friend has one where the baby goes underneath,sort of slotted in and the other child in the buggy type bit at the front so they can see out, I am thinking it's maybe a Cosatto/Graco, it looks quite good though. Will double check and report back.

Off to read properly now.

Engels that's a really good point about maybe not getting a place in nursery again! And A is the opposite - says a lot, but not so physical.

I did a baby course ages ago (when A was little) when they talked about the 4 spheres, physical, verbal, intellectual, and social, and that babies tend to only concentrate on one or two of the areas at any given time. I think A at present is verbal and social rather than the others.

Hmm will look into board thingy and one up one down buggies ...

We have 14 weeks maternity leave here too, but you can hold your job without pay for a year. And the mat pay is capped at minimum wage. They talk about increasing it every now and then, but is unlikely.

Cheshire I have the most hilarious mental image of a dog eating a dining table. Sure it wasn't so funny when it was your table though ...

No way would I get a dog. I am not committed to walking it twice daily nor want to clean up after up.

I feel it is a while before they truly understand no. Also they can't generalise for a while, so just because they understand not to touch your cup/cooker they don't know this applies to all cups/cookers at grandparents etc. However words they do understand, so I use the word 'hot' with DS which he accepts. I think it is better than just 'no', try to be specific. Some of them have more trouble with impulse control. You may have cracked them pulling plugs, then a few months later it's something else you are having to continually tell them not to do. I find if I find myself in a rut of saying no, then it's a cue for me to change how I am addressing the problem or change my expectations e.g. they just may not be ready to sit still at the table so put them back in something with clips.

I underestimate DSs comprehension all the time, his speech isn't as good as DD's was and she was more physical earlier. I think I get a bit paranoid about his tongue tie, when in fact he is developmentally bang on. I think the milestone is 6-12 words at 18 months.

We had/have the Phil n Teds. I would have been fine without it, just using the sling/stroller combo but DH/grandparents liked it, plus good when it is raining to be able to chuck them under raincovers. The type/cost of buggy really depends on what use you have for it. If you are planning to be off work a long time and most groups/shops are walking distance then there is more justification than if you drive most places. Also depends on how narrow doors and shops are.

I think you are right about different levels of comprehension climbing W won't respond to being told 'gentle' but will when I say 'gentle like Cassie' because we worked really hard to make sure he is gentle with our cat (although he still needs reminding sometimes) but he will go from rough play to stroking gently saying ahh when told 'like Cassie'

Have just given M his first haircut too cheap to pay for it and it doesn't look too bad!

Words are coming thick and fast, though mostly parrotted and not remembered. In the last 24 hours we've had chicken, up and M has filled in the last few words to the song I sing him when it's just the 2 of us (^I love M-y, I do, I love you M-y, Ido, I love you M-y, I do, Oh-h M-y, I love you). Last night he was singing "I do" at the end of every line. So funny and sweet.

We are clearly not out of the woods with our run of illness. DH had d&v bug end of last week and I'm now the lucky recipient. Tomorrow is one of the biggest days of my work I have three projects due to finish timing couldn't be worse. Argh

Pene I don't know if it was the Phil & Teds that my friend has but it's the same idea as the Phil & Teds one in this link and ClimbingI might have had the same one then too....

www.madeformums.com/what-to-buy---toddler/10-of-the-best-double-buggies-for-a-toddler-and-baby/4547.html

He ate all 4 sides of the dining table Pene ! A dining table we shipped all the way from Australia, then it didn't survive the dog. Lovely hardwood thing it was too :(

Hope you're feeling better Strawbs. Is it wrong that I chuckled at the idea of you being told W had headbutted another child ?!

Pebbles hope you ate the free food before you puked.

Yes Cheshire managed the free meal Friday night

Thanks cheshire that's a great link (and am especially pleased that one I have bid on on our ebay equivalent) is on it! I was more confident about getting one after climbings's excellent advice about if you walk everywhere (which I do).

Pebble oh no, hope you get better!

Engels that 'i do' is so cute

Hope it passes soon pebble

Where is everyone? I'm bored. Scanning in student work for moderation while M is napping so glued to pc. It's taking AGES!

I think it helps to see them as little scientists- a phrase used by Piaget (i think)

so when they are tipping up rice on your kitchen floor, it's because they want to hear the different noises things make, or how fast it falls. etc. Or turning on the taps, or sticking their hands into a pooey nappy to feel the squidge!

that's what i tell myself to keep sane anyway.

At the moment, i'm at the ah ah ah, no, no, no stage with eva. She doesn't take me on, but flings herself crying if anyone else says it!

Hope you are better pebble

Oh no cheshire how gutting!

Oh god, i just want to eat- 2 creme eggs and 3 (mini) bags of crisps so far. I've just searched the biscuit tin too and then remembered i didn't buy any this week.

Need my jaw wiring. I'm not usually this bad!

If dp is home early enough, i'm going spinning tonight to burn it off!!!

chesh away! I think I did a bit of a fish out of water impression, and nursey probably think i'm really horrible now as I was so surprised I completely forgot to ask how the other child was!

Feeling mostly better thanks so back at work today (and MNing in a lull!)

sassy its the weather I think being cold usually makes me eat loads too. Love the scientist theory!

Sad for DH today, his mum called on Thursay to say one of their cats who DH chose as a kitten was on his last legs so we planned to go up this weekend just gone so he could say goodbye, but the snow (where they are not so much as a flake here) and me being ill meant we didnt get to go in the end. MIL called him midmorning today to say cat had been PTS :( he was a lovely old boy too

It's so sad to lose pets . Poor Sassy's DH. A girl at work took a day off when her dog - who was really old and had been her constant companion for years (she was single) died. Some other people made fun of her which made me cross as I would have done the same

Aww strawb, hope DH is ok. Agree, I remember my mum phoning me at work to say our cat was being pts, I burst into tears and my boss let me go home. I was embarrassed about it and ask her not to tell anyone. It's hard, they just become such a part of the family

So sorry strawb & Mr Strawb. We had to have one of our cats PTS a few weeks ago. I think I'd said he was ill with kidney problems. The vet said he was living on borrowed time, he lasted another 9 months. It wasn't his kidneys though it was his teeth in the end, he got really bad gum disease as a knock on effect of the kidney trouble, he couldn't eat and the vet said even if they removed all his teeth it wouldn't heal so the kindest thing was to let him go.
DH was prepared this time, it was me who was in denial and upset.

We've still got one cat, he's really missing his brother. We've said no more though. Neither of us have had pets before, we took these 2 in temporarily 13 years ago. They've been great pets, but they're expensive, they get old, ill then they wee on everything, then break your heart when they die. :( I sometimes think a dog would be nice, after 2 burglaries it's mainly to ward of burglars, but I'd be rubbish at taking it for a walk. It would also be nice to one day have a fur free house.... especially as I'm probably allergic to it.

Climbing Don't worry about the TT, unless it's very severe it's unlikely to cause problems, it would cause problems with diction rather than learning words too. S had his TT cut he's 17.5 months and only says "mama".