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November 2012 - More group hugs and moral support please

999 replies

StuntNun · 08/02/2013 23:19

Previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/1676013-November-2012-We-want-rattles-and-we-want-them-now

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
ValiumQueen · 10/02/2013 15:53

I do not yet have a will, but I do have life assurance, as does DH. I need to check on these things actually. I am not sure anyone would be prepared to take on my three. My parents are too old, one brother is a wanker married to a Munchausens by proxy psycho, my other brother has Aspergers (he would be my preference ) and my SIL is single and just daft. She does love them though. It is horrid thinking of such things.

detective you have two sons to leave behind and they are most valuable. I would encourage you to get life assurance. You are still very young so it should not cost much. With the NHS there is a payment for death in service I believe. I also have cover to pay off the mortgage. I would be suprised of you did not as I think it is obligatory. It is important to think about this as if the worst were to happen, you would not want your family to have to spend out for funeral and have the added ordeal of legal stuff.

ValiumQueen · 10/02/2013 15:54

I had a bright orange beetle called Bobby. I still miss him. My feet would get soaked if it rained, if I stopped and turned the engine off I had to wait an hour before it would start again, but I loved him so.

Catbag · 10/02/2013 16:00

VQ Actually, that is a good point. Isn't life insurance a prerequisite of getting a mortgage? I don't have one nor any prospect of getting one with my credit rating, so I don't know.

Catbag · 10/02/2013 16:21

Ok, double checked my uni notes- your kids would take everything detective as you and DP are not married. That makes it all doubly important since, if they were under 18, someone else would be administering their affairs. You could use your will to nominate who that person would be, otherwise someone would be appointed by the court. Your house may be in negative equity now, but there may come a point where it isn't and it could be worth something to your two.

I would advise you in the strongest possible terms to get life insurance. My eldest two children's Dad was killed in a motorbike accident in October 2005. I was effectively widowed at 25. We were both covered by life insurance but, because we were so poor and struggling to feed the four of us, in the prior June I cancelled it. Instead of having £100,000 to look after me and the kids, I had nothing. I was a SAHM and so after trying to cope for 2 months on Income Support and Child Tax Credit, I had to get jobs. I ended up working five part time jobs to fit around school and nursery to make ends meet. Things improved slowly, and then much more when I met who is now my DH, but it was still a very hand-to-mouth existence. I enrolled at uni because I never wanted to be that poor again, and I see my degree as an investment in the kids' future, but it has been a struggle that I could have avoided. I haven't a house, but have insurance as I want to make sure that whoever is looking after the children have the funds in place to do it properly.

Ok, you may consider this lecture over Grin

ValiumQueen · 10/02/2013 16:33

Thank you for sharing cat you have had more than your fair share of heartache. You are one touch cookie ((((((((((huggle)))))))))

ValiumQueen · 10/02/2013 16:34

Tough even!

ValiumQueen · 10/02/2013 16:35

Solemn Sunday it seems Sad

Shall we go for Morose Monday? Memory Monday? Mischief Monday?

TheDetective · 10/02/2013 16:37

Cat :( there are no words. Brave woman xxx

Catbag · 10/02/2013 16:38

Not brave, just a mum. You'd all do the same x

Catbag · 10/02/2013 16:40

How about Merry Monday instead? :D

glendathegoodwitch · 10/02/2013 16:42

catbag fab advice - reminded me to get a will sorted out - dh has life assurance and will which pre dates us - the kids would go to my best friend in Norwich but my dad would hold finances for them. Horrible to think of but even more horrible to think of things not being in place should the worst happen!!!

Havin a crud day!!! Can't shift this black cloud over me - got sooo much to do before uni, occie health check, crb check, bursary application and a whole heap of other stuff to pay out for.

Dh has taken Dottie out in the car to take the step boys back as she's desperate for sleep but will not go longer than 20 mins anywhere.

CBA to make tea or do anything - wanted the house blitzed this weekend but although I mentioned it 15 times because I wasn't doing it myself chained to sofa feeding and wasn't barking orders it's not been done - tomorrow's job while Dottie at the cm sorted woooo

ChunkyChicken · 10/02/2013 16:44

:( cat ((hugs))

On a lighter note, I have just wasted most of my afternoon not watching the rugby with DH reading a thread on AIBU. Seriously, it gets silly.

Must... put... phone... out.... of... reach.... can't... resist... AIBU...

What about Motherfucking Monday? Or is that more appropriate to Sweary Wednesday? Grin

kissyfur · 10/02/2013 16:50

Sad hugs to you cat

ValiumQueen · 10/02/2013 16:51

J has slept for 2.5 hours this afternoon. He woke twice and self settled in moments. Feeling encouraged. He has not yet had the crying in pain thing and can sit in his chair, on changing mat etc without screaming.

StuntNun · 10/02/2013 16:53

Catbag you are officially now my hero.

Detective it's actually a brilliant time to take out life insurance. Our mortgage gets paid off if one or both or us die (so either the children's trust can sell the house for the money or the surviving spouse doesn't have any mortgage payments to make) and it costs us £9 a month.

J has gone to sleep so I must go an put the spuds in. Roast beef and Yorkshire puds for dinner courtesy of my mum buying a huge piece of silverside before she went home.

OP posts:
StuntNun · 10/02/2013 16:53

Sorry for apostrophe error in previous post Hmm

OP posts:
blonderedhead · 10/02/2013 16:54

Would that be the MIL thread Chunky?

Cat you really have been through it. Will def look into life insurance. We don't have much, saving up for house deposit so no assets really. But we need to make a will to sort out what would happen.

I'm up for a Marvellous Monday.

StuntNun · 10/02/2013 16:55

J is no longer asleep after I dropped my phone on his head . Poor little thing, it's a good thing the case is rubber so it was more of a shock than a hurt.

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PetiteRaleuse · 10/02/2013 17:06

:( cat that must have been a horrible time for you.

We have life insurance even though my premiums are through to roof because of my disagreement with nsaids. I would want my sister to take on my children but as they are French my ILs could dispute them being taken out of France. Need to get something down in writing.

Catbag · 10/02/2013 17:53

On a lighter note, the soup I made at 6am has been simmering away all day and is officially bloody lovely. I put a bit of smoky tabasco in the stock so it has a smoky aftertaste and I also put in... CHEESE PHOBICS LOOK AWAY NOW... two packet of wensleydale cheese. Farking beautiful, and enough soup made for another 12-15 portions. Result!

Titsalinabumsquash · 10/02/2013 17:54

We have life insurance and accident cover, no will though so far.

Cat you're a very brave and strong lady to come through that

We had an interesting meal out earlier, J was in my knee wiggling around and hanging onto a straw for dear life, he's quite happy so I'm chatting to DP who is sat opposite me while I eat a caramel sundae (diet day off!) before I know it J has stuck his whole fist in the jug of caramel sauce and is sucking the hell out of it with relish, then cried when I cleaned him up. He went to sleep soon after then woke up and had a giant feed which he then projectile vomited all over me Confused

zcos · 10/02/2013 17:58

cat stop being modest its official your amazing all of us can't be wrong.
I'm having a down day so merry Monday sounds good does that mean I need to have a glass of wine!?
can't wait for spring ... hope weather will be milder and I can get out in the garden with dd. Grin

hate trying to work out all this baby equipment I just never have time! have a Moby sling , travel cot and pram to work out... I had been walking dd in car seat as a buggy but read that's wrong < embarrassed and crap mum emoticon>

zcos · 10/02/2013 18:06

cat soup recipe please.
I have a soup maker Christmas present apparently its like an industrial one! that's another piece of equipment that I have to get to grips too Angry Sad

ValiumQueen · 10/02/2013 18:21

tits oops!

cat OMG! That sounds awesome! I think I want my kids to live with cat as she is clearly Supermum! (If I was not around, obviously)

TheDetective · 10/02/2013 18:22

Bloody hell, I need to stop reading sad stories today. I've read the story about the little one who was killed by drawers falling on our FB page. Then read about twins who died the same way, who would have been the same age as DS1 is now. Then reading about a little girl who died in an accident at nursery, and now about a 1 month old who had his finger bitten off by a fox.

Turn news websites off. Gawwwwwd..

Can someone please cheer the thread up? Go on, you know you want to!