FEB 2010 Three is a magic number, yes it is......

[InmaculadaConcepcion]

Come and take shelter from the DC here, folks!

mous do let out all on here if you want to. I know we can't help but we can hold your hand

scones I have been avoiding that thread like SR too. I felt better once I realised my mum's standards were way to high and kind of pointless stepford wify

SB hope DS gets better soon.

week end away? childless?

DD1 has nightmares about the minosaure coming to her school and following her home. DD2 just wants to go HOME and is scared alone because there is spiders in every rooms. true but her sisters is snoring and dad too; i.e. "sleep with me mum!'

Bc love the box of kisses! What a good idea!

SR you are clearly NOT a bitch...! What you expect of your DH isn't much to ask at all.

SB sorry to hear your DS is poorly. Hope it clears up quickly.

Scones I don't think parenting has affected my mental health, but I can ABSOLUTELY understand how it can and does. I don't think the nuclear family model of parenting is remotely helpful to the majority of mothers, who usually get left with 90% of the drudgery and stress involved while the majority of OHs continue with their lives virtually unchanged, in too many cases. I think a lot of the reason why I mostly enjoy parenting is because I was lucky enough to land a DH who DOES take his role as a father and co-parent seriously, so it does feel like we are properly a team and I don't tend to feel overwhelmed by it. And it also makes me realise how much work is involved and how incredibly awesome are the mothers who do it alone.

Dolly Parton had it right:

DD ate carrot croquettes tonight!! One version with dried apricots and pine nuts, the other with ground almonds and Red Leicester. AND some quinoa made into a patty with a bit of egg (spread with my home-made iron-rich fruit spread....)
I felt quite dizzy with happiness for a moment! And she was a delight all day, despite a prolonged wakeful period overnight (she's got a bit of a cold and I think the mugginess didn't help)

Sorry to hear about the various nursery traumas, btw. DD's distress about nursery is still a fresh memory, so huge sympathy for all concerned... xx

Mous Junkers? Ace!

I noticed after I got back from this trip a lot of people asking me who looked after the kids and references to poor DH. I don't think the men get asked this question on their business trips. At least he had the children in nursery as it was all work days.

IC They all sound really tasty, I'm not surprised she ate them.

SB Hope DS feels better soon. Is the new job lots more work?

((hugs)) for Mous. Have you read Cold Comfort Farm?

I was fairly unsympathetic to DS tonight. He started the jumping out of bed and coming downstairs thing again and saying "I'm not sleeping" (no mention of particular fears, rational or irrational - although he did attempt to do magic with a coathanger to bring DH back from Scotland)so I threatened to lock his door and turn his light off if he made any more noise. I feel bad but I think he was playing up because he got away with it last night and we ended up with him on the sofa until 10pm.

Hope nights went ok...? Bear, mous, survival...

Mous, what's going on! You sound blue

IC, your drudgery comment really resonates with me. I have long held the belief that women have a huge life change when they have kids, whereas men continue much as before. I have always thought of this as "men can opt in, whereas women have to opt out", by which I mean the mum is responsible parent by default and has to physically say or be told to step down every now and then. Men bumble along as they did before kids came along, opting in when told or they choose to. That is certainly the case here.

We have DH's cousin staying with us for a few days. She is a very sweet girl, newly diagnosed with bipolar disorder. One of the things we have been told as being important is making sure she doesn't drink too much (I have been quite relaxed about her staying - in fact it was my idea as otherwise she was going to be at the ILs for over a week, which I thought might be a bit much - whereas he suddenly freaked out about it earlier this week, saying he didn't know if she would be safe with the kids and what we could and couldn't do yet hadn't thought of phoning her parents and as usual expected me to deal with his ranting and provide all the answers). Yet last night he insisted on opening a second bottle of wine, despite my subtle hints hat maybe it wasn't a good idea.

thanks all will be back later.

SR and hugs

BC no off to google...

SR I'm. and at your dh attitude / behaviour

We're home today as DS still has high temp and is definately unwell. But there's no others symptoms to help identify the illness. We're cuddled in bed at the present as he's very clingy.

Waves to all

I bravely drank more of the wine as a way of stopping the cousin drinking it

Tired today. I think the two things are connected...

at SR bravely drinking wine?. just marking my place really, back to read properly over the weekend and try and catch up again!

work still crackers - homeless presentations through the roof :( home now as DS poorly again with high temp and DD got bust nose at school yesterday so i'll pick her up at end of school rather than after school club so she gets a shorter day. blown up oven still not replaced so not sure what i'll make that lot for tea, and i'm supposed to be going out with friends which is rare and nice but i'm knackered after crap few nights with busy head (unusually both dc's have slept reasonably well) and i'd rather just stay home and slump in front of a silly film/grab an early night? ho hum

"men opt in, women opt out...."
Spot on, SR

Oh stoof, sounds like a toughy x

Have you seen the Everyday Sexism website CP? I think you should copy that one in!

Oh gosh yes. The default setting in our house is indeed that I am in charge of school run, bath time, bed time, meals etc. and that despite dh being a very hands on dad.

JW welcome back

ggaaahhh, I am with DH for something trivial. The girls have some strawberry plants and DD1 has been lovingly taking care of them. 1st few were getting red a few days ago. We inspected with DD1 decided to wait till tomorrow morning. DH pick it after 1/2 and gave it to DD2 on the totally unfounded ground that it was going to rot over night .
Sometime I wonder if DH means D. Head.

mous grr at your DH (and in this case I agree with your meaning)

I have decided that if DS still has a fever tomorrow am we'll go back to the gp to make sure we aren't missing something. I just checked on him and his face is red and he seems restless so there's a big chance his temp is still high.

sb DD normally runs at least a three day fever. Have to dash will say hi proper tomorrow

DS's high fever are normally a 24 hours job

How is he today SB?
I always wait 3 days for a fever unless there is obvious discomfort (like when DD2 couldn't breathe properly), it gives time for the symptoms to appear.
Has he got roseola yet?
Around my friends there is CP (1st spots appears before the fever though unless they are hidden), measles, strept throats and scarlet fever going on. HAve you checked his throat?

He's fine today. No fever anymore and his energy levels are back. So just a 24 hours bug I guess.
He had roseola when he was a baby so on my list of possible illness was CP but no sign of rash/spots

Hi folks. Have stepped back from this thread as I find it hard to read too much about 'normal' family too often at the mo. Hopefully this will change with time. However, still keen to hear your news so lurk from time to time.

The mums having to opt out and dads chosing to opt in or otherwise is a very good description of parents I know. my friend was only saying this morning that her dh resents the fact that she gets to stay at home two days a week to look after the dc because he works so hard. Dh knew better than to go down that route, as a) our mutual friend worked with him and regularly told him that being at home was much harder than doing his job (grin); b) he made it clear that he wasn't prepared to change his hours as he needed to work full time and c) he knew my job was very hard work too. I was lucky, like IC, that dh opted in adn took co-parenting seriously, and yet he still needed a lot of managing, rather than just doing things for himself. I take my hats off to those of you who live with someone who doesn't pull their weight - I don't think I could. (And, in case any of you are wondering, single parenting is turning out to be manageable, if not what I desired - not that anyone does). Think I'm starting to ramble and would be better off turing the laptop off for the night!

Just wanted to say hi really and thank you so much for everything, as always.x

good to see you Survival for better or worse I took the decision to carry on posting as normal on here. That way you can lurk when you feel like and get a break from your normal and join in when you are able to.

The DCs now have swimming lessons on different days so that will be interesting. Then again we only have two more and then it is the break for the summer holidays.

CO I wouldn't want it any other way - that's why I started a separate thread. Having a nice day at home today. Hope you all are too.

Lovely to have you back on the thread Survival - we all totally understand your reasons for backing off of course. Big hugs to you and the boys xx

Survival, can't blame you and no one minds you lurking only. Most of us on this thread are not exactly lovey dovey with our partners, but if I had lost dh I would even miss the petty arguments. You are doing an incredible job right now and have to focus on what is best for you. If this means avoiding this threat for a bit then that is quite understandable. You know we are always here for you if you need anything.

We've had a good weekend here but I want my kind, polite, quiet, rational, sensible, mature daughter back please. Dd2 turned into a typical three year old seemingly overnight and has been challenging to say the least. Tears, tantrums, sulks, the lot. On Saturday she spent an hour lying on the landing howling because she wanted dh -who had gone into town- and I ended up shouting at her to stop shouting please . Not my finest parenting moment. I am hoping that her behaviour has something to do with her sister's birthday and is short lived.

How you doing today mous