October 2012: onwards, upwards and rolling over?

[YompingJo]

Is this part 5 already? Where did that time go?

There's a very attractive man on British bake off - the comc relief one. It was the programme from last night, I don't know who he is but I fancy him a lot.

huffle at least you know what the issue has been...and you're not crap at breast feeding!

Hello hello! Sorry been staying offline for a bit for various reasons. Last week was tough, DH was working abroad so I was on my own. Wow. Single parent respect. He came back with a huge suitcase of clothes from a lovely friend with two boys. There were about 40 vest tops alone. I don't think I'll have to buy anything for him again until he's 2. I feel so grateful to people for lending us so much, it has saved us heaps of money. All I have bought is a cot and changing table (Ikea Gulliver - can recommend. The mattress is standard size I think? I got all my sheets in the sale at La Redoute) and a few bits of clothes. I have started a baby massage class and Smorglet loved it (after disgracing himself by throwing up on the class leader's sofa ) and going to a mum and toddlers group - anyone else get the twitchy eye thing when you think of all the germs around with all these other kids? I always thought I would be one of those mums who thinks germs are good for immunity and throws their child in with the rest of them, but I am getting a bit PFB I think. Had second jabs today, he was very brave and hardly cried, but next month's are the same as the first ones and a bit more hurty. He is 61cm and 5 1/2 kg - can anyone tell me what centiles he is on in the UK please?

Only had time for a quick scan of the thread so:
Routine: he runs almost like clockwork on a three hour routine, feeds every three hours (I can almost set my watch by it), then some activity and then naps for 45 mins. He's up around 5am at the moment and then goes back to sleep until about 8am (meanwhile mummy is awake for the day) then usually we go off for massage, playgroup, church mums group (I'm not massively Christian but its a fun group of ladies who do craft activities or something similar). Then I try and cluster some feeds from about 6ish, bath when DH gets home at 7-7.30pm then bed at 8-8.30pm. Getting him to sleep involved sitting bouncing him on the Swiss ball. Our attempts at weaning him off this have failed! It's hell on your back.
School: if we stay in France he will go through the French system. I don't want to pay for him to go to the Lycee International, although I quite like the idea of the international baccalaureate but this is waaay off. However, who knows where we will be. Could be Germany, Spain.... India?! If we are in the UK then it will be state. I was privately educated from 4-18 and one of those schools was a complete disaster, the others were great. Every school is different, as is every child. I'm a firm believer in doing what is right for you and your family and not feeling bad if it's not 'right' by other people. I always felt slightly guilty going to private schools with so much on offer when I'm not particularly gifted or talented whereas DH was at state school and worked his socks off all the way through to get good results and would have loved to have had the opportunities I had (and did not appreciate at the time). But, that said I do understand why my parents sent me to boarding school - they both worked long and unpredictable hours and I was the only child at home when I was growing up so got bored a lot. Anyway I'm rambling....
Montessori - my sisters kids were at a Montessori nursery in Oz but she has put them into mainstream now. This is just one example of course, but she found her son was very behind in maths when he changed school. The Montessori ethos of putting all the children into one room and letting them choose what they want to do meant that he had avoided doing any of the maths stuff for ages. I will say that both her boys are VERY strong minded and know exactly what they want (and do not want) to do! Knowing my sister and her husband though this could well be the genes.....

Got to take Smorglet for an X-ray to have his hips checked, apparently its routine here...

Great news huffle at least you know what the problem is. I hope it gets easier from now!

Squid we had rolls from front to back today too! Of course when I tried to film it for Daddy he stopped and started crying.

Smorgs - how many weeks is he? Then could tell you centile.

So so so tired. Volunteered at DD's preschool this morning. Now I have no energy whatsoever. Don't drink because of migraine meds and caffeine (sometimes even decaf) seems to trigger minor migraines. Or is it just sleep deprivation? Oh for a day off from entertaining DD. I know DH works very hard but I wish he'd offer. Now have to cook for four as friend coming round.

Sorry. I'm not much fun today. Want

Quick skim read

Smorgs I hav red book in hand but baby too so but tricky to plot. Assuming DS is also 14 weeks that is 25th centile for each.

I'll look better later when not holding sleeping baby.

(delighted to have sleeping baby on me! )

elpis sending hugs and painkilling thoughts. You sound like you've achieved loads today. - volunteering at preschool and entertaining so no wonder you're wiped out. I know what you mean about wanting a day off, just one would help wouldn't it? Even an hour off helps me (and my lovely dh is great for this - will take the children and send me off with a nice pot of tea, chocolate and a good book. Right now I would love just one night of proper sleep.
Had a lovely day today despite knackeredness. And a stranger in a coffee shop came up to me and said she thought I was a brilliant mummy with dd - made my day. Also went to a music group - baby loved it and some nice people there for me to chat to as well. Now dd1 has a friend home from school for tea and I've made buns with them - am having a day where I feel like a good mummy as opposed to the night where I felt like a rubbish mummy.
Routine here doesn't really exist. Basically roughly a 3 hour cycle of eat, play, sleep until about 5ish when she feeds on and off for ages. We were giving her a bath every evening but she's started to get really dry sore skin (me and dh both have eczema) so may have to reduce that. But then how will we get all the puke / poo off? Still puking loads every day, wish that would stop.....
My other major achievement today has been going to the toilet without waking dd in her sling. Oh, the glamour....

huffle really pleased you have an answer to all the bf problems. You are amazing to have managed so brilliantly!

Thanks elpis and huffle he is 13 weeks today.

Elpis Not surprised you are tired, you're superwoman! I often get a headache before I come down with a cold? And yes I would love a whole day off, without having to express boobs either. Sending you an alcohol free

smiley How lovely of someone to say that! You sound like a great mummy and you are amazing for coping with being back at work and a wakey baby. Have you tried Oilatum junior? I know people with eczema who swear by the adult version and I noticed the other day they do the junior one. Mine pukes loads still too, sometimes an hour after feeding. Both of us smell perpetually of puke.

I love that some babies are moving, rolling, rotating now...I live in fear and hope of Q rolling.

She rolled over! Front to back!

Smorgs for weight that is between 9th and 25th. 25th for height. I don't really know how to translate that! Assuming that as they are both 25 ish then they are equivalent and ok, ie, slightly smaller height but weight in proportion?? Monster baby here is not the best comparison so I cannot tell you what it means! Plenty of normal baby mummies here to tell you!!

HTH!

Head melt at all your day shapes (see, not routines!) I will read another day when less exhausted!! Our day usually starts about 8.30 and night begins with bath at 8.30. Everything else in between is now totally baby led as I cannot predict at all!!

Elpis. I yearn to be so organised. That is my Nirvana. Sigh.

Yay for rolling babies!

That is all I can manage.

Smorgs. I make it that your DS is just above 9th percentile for weight and at 50th for height at three months.

Sorry not much time for posting everyone, DD has been super challenging and I'm at my parents too. I unfortunately mistakenly ate some ice cream at a lunch party my parents gave (it was put on my plate and I completely forgot my dairy free regime) and since then she has been in reflux and windy hell. Sigh. I sobbed in exhaustion on my mother this morning and she very kindly took her off my hands for a few hours so I could sleep. Very very decent of her as my mum has cardio myopathy, ME, Bell's palsy and so doesn't have much spare mojo.

Loving all the routines. The thing I notice most (and am very jealous of ) is the dad time. I'm lucky if he chats to her for ten minutes in the morning. He does usually do the 1030 feed but not this week cos he's at home for his exams and we are down here. I am feeling gloomy about parenting and gloomy about our relationship. We barely see each other. He sleeps in another room so that he has mojo for uni and work. So I see him for ten mins in the morning and then about an hour in the evening between him getting home from work at 730ish and me going to bed at 830ish. I know it's just a phase and parenting should get easier but it's cack right now. Cack. And when he finishes his exams (tonight) this means that uni starts again next week so he won't even be home two nights a week. As you say, smorgs, big respect to all the single parents out there. I feel like a single parent much of the time, though at least I don't have to worry about paying the mortgage.

Scrap that Smorgs, 50th for height. Those little charts are much trickier than they look. Apologies.

As advised by Londonlivvy who is obviously more awake than me this evening..........

Hello Livvy, nice to see you, cannot believe the rapid effect of ice cream.......

London that sucks . When DS was a baby, DH and I werent living together, we were both studying and he was working all weekend too. Every minute together was precious! It does pass though. Now we see far to much of each other!

I am completely shocked at DS's behaviour today. My brother was here and DS was watching TV. He snapped at us that he couldn't hear it, so I reminded him about attitude which is usually the end of it but he carried on being rude, so I said it was time to get ready for bed anyway, let's go on up. He point blank refused, shouted NO! and wouldnt budge off the sofa. I turned off the TV and he tried to turn it back on! He then growled at me then burst into tears. I'm embarassed to say that I handled it really badly, I was so suprised that I laughed which I think embarrased him in front of my brother and made things worse. I was just so so suprised, he has never (apart from the odd toddler temper tantrum) deliberately said no to me before like that.

I had DD weighed today out of curiousity and its a good thing I did. She has stayed on the 9th centile since birth but in the last 2 weeks has dropped to the 2nd. HV said not to worry but to bring her back next week and keep and eye on it. What will they suggest if she keeps dropping?

just quickly:
Been to the doctors - made a routine appt a couple of weeks ago re: painful sex. Hadn't met the doctor before but she was very very nice and did an examination (which hurt) and said everything looked absolutely fine - no prolapse, no scarring. So obviously it can take a while for things to get comfortable again - I just wanted to check there was nothing amiss, particularly with all the running I've been doing...

She did do some swabs but I doubt they'll turn anything up.

Very reassuring - I don't mind waiting, I was just fretting a bit - sharing with you guys in case it's helpful/relevant to anyone.

(She was ever so nice and said I was a model mum with bf and exercise and other things - I went a bit red and said I was fortunate enough to have a normal delivery and easygoing baby. Still doctors often aren't particularly nice and I think a lot of them don't realise how much people can take a boost from nice things they say (I know I always try to chuck in helpful and encouraging comments when appropriate.))

livvy i can sympathise about how much you see your DH. Mine frequently leaves for 7am clients and sometimes doesn't get back until 9 or 10pm. Like yours he frequently sleeps in the spare bed, and it can be very hard.

But. While it's not the life I would necessarily have chosen, I remind myself that he's happy...he was MISERABLE before. Yes, a DH coming home for 6.30 with a regular salary has many benefits but we're working towards a better life, and life would have been stunted before...with a financial and fulfilment ceiling. Your DH's schedule sounds rough, it can't be easy on either of you...but it won't be like this forever, and you're both contributing and working towards something in the long run.

livvy I can also sympathise. my husband works a lot and so we don't have much time right. it's hard not to become resentful when he complains of being tired (yeah, because I'm not tired at all) so have to keep reminding myself that I get the privilege of looking after our baby and this phase will pass.

squid that is reassuring- my bits are still feeling sore. I think that's part of the reason my sex drive has gone walkabout. well that plus the fact that given a choice between sex and sleep, I would always prefer sleep at the mo.

all you with more than one child- you are all superwomen and you amaze me. truly.

Thanks livvy and huffle I thought he was a skinny minny. Out of interest, would they raise concerns about being on 9th percentile for weight in the UK? We saw the paediatrician today and he didn't say anything about his weight and height.
livvy that does sound really tough, but as orenishii says, when it's all over he might well be much happier. Is there one thing he can do with her every day that's just their special time? Like bathtime or massage or a story/song? I'm terrible at going to bed early and usually fall asleep on DH on the sofa then slope off to bed about 10.30pm, but that still kind of feels like our special time.
And yes, single parenting is much more than just looking after the baby by yourself. Can't imagine doing it with all the stress of paying bills/organising life without someone else there.

After saying my baby runs like clockwork he had a mahoosive nap this afternoon after his jabs and I can hear a battle going on between him and DH who is trying to put him to sleep in the bedroom... think I might be in for a long night.

smorgs It's not concerning babies being any particular weight. It can be concerning if they don't follow a particular trend, ie if they were born on the 75th percentile and drop to the 9th over time. Growth charts can only be interpreted with a few readings - hope that helps xx

(9th centile baby here too! healthy as you like)

No good news on the sleep front here either, although at least we didn't wake up crying last night, just singing! She sucked her thumb noisily for about half an hour at which point I gave up and fed her. and then still didn't get back to sleep! grrrrrrr And we now start the day at 5am. Still could be worse (is it babyfunch that starts at 4am every day?)

But on a plus note this morning DD has discovered she has knees and feet! And is getting the rolling pretty fine tuned, although still can't get the shoulder under to get right round. It's really weird as she started rolling on her side at about 8 weeks, then stopped and mastered the other side, then stopped and now suddenly going all the way. Babies are weird critters

Hmmmm so is feeding 10 times a day not normal then? DD has always done that, just increases further around growth spurts.

squid we have a similar approach to day naps.... arrange computer/books and baby sleeps on me for however long she decides

Angelico DD has also got uneven thigh creases... has been checked by paedeatrician at 5 weeks but crappy HV wants me to take her to GP to check cos the paed check's not written in my book! I might just lie and says there's a history of hip dysplasia in my family to get her scanned and that be the end of it. I genuinely do have a dodgy hip so not entirely untrue!

huffle ouch! No wonder you were so sore. Crikey you are one tough bird!

smiley what a lovely comment for someone to make! You sound like you are doing a great job and coping with being back at work. My DD still spewing heaps... I can cope with the fresh stuff, but the really nasty acidy stuff makes me want to spew too! I've been coping with lots of towells and bibs, but that's all going to go out the window when she starts crawling i guess (i'm under no illusion it's going to improve magically when she gets upright).

Smorgs. How much did DS weigh when he was born? I can then tell you his original percentile.

Ooh ooh would you mind livvy, he was 2.990kg or 6lbs 9oz and 51cms.

Thanks squid, I'm not worried really just interested to hear what would happen if we were back home. The French seem to be much smaller so he is seen as normal whereas back home he would definitely be on the small side.

Just noticed the time, you're probably asleep livvy. Anyone else? The suspense is killing me!