October 2012: onwards, upwards and rolling over?

[YompingJo]

Is this part 5 already? Where did that time go?

We went shopping yesterday for some clothes for DD and found quite a lot in h and m. We bought some elasticated soft trousers, some tops and 2 cardigans - nothing in pink! We also bought a few long sleeves tops in Zara which were in the sale. H and M are very reasonable and they also have some very cute long sleeved stripy vests in strong colours, not just pale pink.

I also bought 2 tops for myself but massive fail on jeans, couldn't even bring myself to try any on.

Mickey you're a better woman than me. That's like, dead grown-up!

Yomping it will definitely pass, that's the one thing we can cling on to. I know it's hard, but maybe better to ride it out, rather than trying to understand and change it.
I like Lisbeth's "babies are not an exact science".

Bora, I suppose the doctor's the best place to go for advice, but I'm pretty sure they'll tell you to hang on and not calorie count til you finish bf. Are you ok?

Sending you helpful, toddler-taming vibes Crazy and Lisbeth!

Not heard from Bella for a while, I hope she's ok.

Going out for a posh meal with my work friend on Saturday. I'm disproportionately excited

Bora I've been doing a little expressing lately, as I plan some few hours away from baby.
Anyway, the other night we were out of chocolate and bikkies so I had a banana going to bed. The expressed milk in the morning was much thinner, like low fat. Agree this is a time for sensible eating, not diet. My milk is usually the 'full fat' variety.

What I have tried to do is have healthy food in the house - loads of fruit, cheese, brown bread. I made hummus yesterday. Maybe put babyBora in the pram and have a long walk - a bit of muscle tone is great.

Quick post in between cat-napping baby and bank crap Yomping if you look back over the last couple of weeks on the thread you'll see that unfortunately a lot of the beans do seem to go through this. Mini Angelico was unsettled when we came home at New Year which we put down to being away. It seemed to peak last week when she was 17 weeks and has now gone back to normal. The two weeks from 15-17 weeks seemed to be when it got most bonkers but it was gradual over the 2 weeks with the 17 week mark being the worst. You may well have hit the 'peak' a bit earlier. I completely understand why you get angry at the crying - we had a couple of nights where she screamed for 2 hours every time we tried to put her down. I had to walk away because I couldn't stick it any longer and could feel myself getting angry. Handing over to DH at that stage is a good idea.

lisbeth thanks for au pair tip, hope the new one works out.

Bora you'll probably find more useful stuff online about nutrition etc than from GP in all honesty. I'm trying to walk every day and it is definitely slipping away a little at a time. Of course weight currently has no impact on my flabby gut...

I'm finding everything online hugely contradictory. I guess it would be interesting to hear the party line.

bora I wonder if there is a party line. not sure it can be that cut and dried due to babies and mothers all being so different and it being difficult to do trials on the subject. I'd be interested to know what they say if you do go though!

I just don't know what to do. I think I'm thinking of going to access support. I feel a bit at the end of my teather with it.

cherry only because DP is shit at arguing, and just doesnt respond when i shout

yomping sorry you are going through this.. i cant help as dd is only 10 wks, but i can say- this too shall pass.

i also like lisbeths post
tissue paper?

bora is the weight thing on your mind a lot love? I think that it is really important to try and have a balanced diet- make sure you get enough carbohydrates, protein etc, lots of fruit and veg, healthy snacks, drink lots of water says she who snacks on chocolate and drinks 40 cops of tea a day. If you need to obsess, it would be much better to obsess about health than calories.

I think what I am finding difficult is the fact that my body doesn't really feel like mine while I'm still breastfeeding and honestly, I'm really looking forward to stopping breastfeeding. My hormones are all over the place and I'm really struggling to shed the weight too.

Restricting calories is absolutely not the way to go when breastfeeding. I know if you are a bit obsessive, you feel the need to count something (I certainly do...) but I try and count that I've had enough portions of fruit and veg every day and things like that. If you absolutely have to count calories, I would actually speak to a nutrition exert who knows something about breastfeeding so you can set your limit at a reasonable amount- surely it would be more than 2000 calories.

I would love to lose my excess weight as fast as possible and I know that if I wanted to and I had loads of willpower (and time to furiously exercise), I would lose a stone in 3 weeks. But that is totally unreasonable and actually a couple of pounds a month is much more sensible and will ensure that you don't end up without any energy to feed and look after your baby.

I don't feel particularly good about the way I look at the moment, but making sure I get out walking for the exercise and fresh air makes me feel much better and I'll gradually tone up. Once I'm no longer breastfeeding, I hope my body will feel like mine again. Breastfeeding is like still being pregnant in my view.

Nobber baby is refusing to feed again. Yesterday she fed a total of 9 times. Today it's only been one and a half so far. No wonder my body doesn't know what the fuck is going on.

bora. I think that slimming world support bf women. certainly one of my nct group goes and seems to be steadily losing weight. may be worth a try? my milk seems to be more affected by my sleep than by food though.

yomping. oh god that article scared the crap out of me too and I've been trying to banish the dummy...hard. so you have my sympathies.

We had three wake ups last night. .. 140 (just a bit of reassurance and white noise) 410 (fed) and 610 (self settled in under a minute). though I'm shattered I'm trying to think positive as each was quite short

oh and then the cat woke us ar 640.

That sounds like a great night Livvy! I think anything better for a 3 month old, bf baby is just a lucky bonus. Glad things are improving.
Now you just need to sort the cat out...

Access the support if it's there Borra, and I like London's idea of obsessing about health rather than calories.

DH and I just had a row about rowing about a row we had. Or something. I think I'm more tired than I realise.

Thank you for the "this too shall pass", good to know this is fairly common, and "Lisbeths", you're right, raising a baby is not an exact science at all. But I like exactness! And science! I am going to try to adopt the mantra: "I can accept this calmly because it is just a phase". And hope like hell it's true!!!!!

Londonmrss, sympathy, the feeding being so changeable and unpredictable must be really, really hard to cope with. I think you sound very calm considering what you have been putting up with. Know what you mean about breastfeeding being like still being pregnant. Can't even drink more than a measly bloody glass of wine in case it affects the next feed.

Mickey, if my DP did that I'd fish through the nappy bin, find a pooey one and stick it on his head. Pooey side down! He lets her cry while he changes her nappy sometimes but he does always comfort her afterwards, and he'd never just let her lie on her playmat and cry.

Cherry poor you, rowing is shit at the best of times, but even worse if it's about something silly. Your post did make me giggle though. I think my DH must be biting his tongue an awful lot at the moment, bless him. Just keep thinking of your posh meal on Saturday to cheer yourself up!

Livvy, how is the dummy banishing going? Lots of for you to keep your stamina up!

Oh, and Lisbeths, tissue paper? There's some serious competition for this crown now!

Yomping we had the same thing from weeks 15(ish?) to 17 and now it is gone, or seems to be!! REALLY hard to settle - took till 1am one night. Though she did sleep once she was down. Tears. I tried not to worry. It passed! The last 5 nights have been absolutely fine and back to what they were beforehand. There was a wonder weeks chart going around I found reassuring... I called it her "stormy patch". angelico's bean is the same age as mine and it happened to her too.

yomping Do not, repeat, do not give up ice cream and wine.

Bora GP probably won't be helpful. There isn't a party line, though "eat healthy food and keep active" is good advice for anyone.
Sympathies, I feel much the same way a lot of the time.
It will come off. Mine is. Not quickly.
Are you seeing other new mums much? They don't all look like celebrity ones. That's kind of helpful. I get stuck in my head sometimes about how much I "should" weigh, or what I "should" look like, it's not always very realistic.
ps. The breastfeeding mums of 6 month olds I've met all look pretty damn slim to me. Haggard, even!!

bora I know you said you'd looked online and it was all contradictory but have you seen this:

kellymom.com/nutrition/mothers-diet/mom-weightloss/

This site is evidence based and excellent! It advises dieting is possible. I am largely relying on the 500 calories a day bf uses

Yomping - it passes, really it does. I'm absolutely no expert, but with both DCs, I've just let them sleep when they want to - whether in the carrier, on the playmat, in the bouncer, next to me in bed or on my lap. I only use the cot at night, but I doubt DS would be fazed if I put him into it during the day. (I did try a strict routine with DD at first and it was a disaster, and so exhausting.) I do occasionally wake DS if he's snoozed for more than two hours during the day, but otherwise I let him set the pace - inasmuch as he gets the chance with preschool runs and all DD's activities, plus me moving around the house.

I don't know if that's either helpful or reassuring. But really, it's not 'wrong' to let them do what they want to. In past eras they'd just have had to get on with it while we worked ourselves into an early grave. I console myself with this thought.

FirstTime - BabyGap, John Lewis, Monsoon at sale time, Boden, occasionally M&S and H&M. For truly unisex baby clothes I love Polarn O Pyret, Marimekko and Petit Bateau, but they're expensive!

On the topic of exercise I have discovered that DS finds the sight of me doing lunges in front of him in the pram in the park to be hilarious. Baby entertainment and exercise at the same time?

And when he's upset he'll only be settled by doing squats when you hold him. Seriously. A friend who visited lately had to stretch when she got home...

My tummy is flatter now and I've lost a few kilos but I'm still errr well padded all over. How can my tits be deflated and I'm pudgy. That's not fair!!! Arrrgh so jealous of you bf ladies being able to eat what you like. I have to do the weight loss the old fashioned way, ie eating less and lots of bloody hard work exercising.

On a TMI Fanjo observation note - my lady parts are noticeably tighter since I had my first proper heavy period the other week. My period prior to that one was light and spotty. After that big period I couldn't squeeze any more droplets of milk out of my boobs, either. So tighter fanny - something to look forward to when periods return?! Hormones are weird.

hurrah for the tight fanjo Zara!

what an odd sentence...

Londonmrs

Yar, there's still life in the old girl yet...

Bora - weight watchers do a programme for bf women also.
I did not mean to dismiss your concerns. I lost weight in both my pregnancies due to nausea. First time I regained and then some with bf ! I was terrified of not having enough milk so I ate everything ... literally
Second time I'm not so bad, though I will need to shed a few lbs when it is all over.
I'm a gold member of Weight Watchers and their philosophy is sensible. Is there one near you?

BTW Crazy my 2 yr old attends creche 3 mornings a week and I have an AuPair. I get out of house with baby for a few hours most days. It sounds like you are battling alone. I feel your pain.

Urgh now had a week of horrendous nights, I feel like he slept through a while back just to tease us. Served me right for showing off I spose.

Off to mum and baby group this morning, hope its nothing like these

WTAF. So DS has a blocked nose and is teething and feeling poorly the night before we fly back to Ireland. Great.

He has been upset and not wanting his bottles all day. He was feeling so upset he threw up most of his bedtime bottle. And then, get this. He starts chewing and clawing at my boob through my top. I offer bottle, pacifier, finger, no. None of that please, mum. He keeps clawing at my top, so (totally confused) I whip off my top and he lunges at my nipple and firmly attaches his mouth to it. And starts nursing perfectly. Well it's not really nursing cos there's no milk. After a few minutes he realises there's no milk coming out and looks up at me as if to say "oi, where's the grub!". So I warm up another bottle, he drains it (but occasionally pulls off the bottle to root at my chest) and goes to sleep.

BABIES ARE FUCKING WEIRD. Why did he do this? What does it mean? Anything? Nothing? Argh.