Brooking no argument for babies who sleep, eat, smile and behave perfectly at all times. Yeah right!

[scarletfingernail]

New thread, here we go...

I wasn't going to do Christmas cards at all - does that trump Next/Sainsbo's cards? I am too lazy.

M crawled! She went about half a foot forwards and grabbed the nappy I'd just taken off her. I shrieked for DH and he came running and she did it again (again for the nappy). It's a historic moment. Oh, and she said her first sentence! It's all go here today. The sentence was 'Bad dog!' So proud.

Oh, and I forgot to say - today was M's first day at nursery too. Well, her first hour. She was absolutely fine - stared at everyone and played with wooden spoons and jingly bell thingies and pointed at them all. And she waved goodbye when we left. She nicked one of the toys (budding pickpocket?) - it was in her hood when we got to the car. She goes back on Thursday for an hour in the afternoon. I don't think she'd really realised I'd gone, tbh. She gave me a big grin when I came back but didn't seem to have been wondering where I was.

M sounds adorable too, well done to her, and you, for your nursery bravery today.

Also love your Christmas name scream

And your recipe hawthers, must remember to write it down

I'm lurking, but tbh I'm feeling a bit low, exhausted and crap atm. I just never get any sleep, don't get the chance for lie ins, other people can't manage all 3 by themselves (and I can only firefight, let's be honest, I still don't have all 3 by myself all day, only a morning or short ish period of time) so I just can't see an end. Unless I turn to cc, but i just don't think I can.

We still love you dream and have your back on the brooking front.

This too shall pass!

Just think, eventually they'll all be at school . Now that dd is 2, have you thought about putting in a nursery or playgroup type thing for a few hours? The preschool that ds1 goes to takes them from the term after they turn 2 and has two classes so ds1 is now in the older class but used to be in the little class? Or a half day at nursery or something? Might even tire her out enough to encourage her to nap

Well done too and M for major nursery bravery :). M sounds super cute waving at them all (ds2 still can't wave) - hope her bravery continues on Thursday.

I have to now put away about every single one of ds1's toys after he's had a friend over to play for most of today (whose mum had a new baby yesterday so for the first time I've looked after someone else's child without them there!). I'm exhausted!

(realises this is what dream does every day )

Right, must stop procrastinating and get on with it......

Biscuits I'm sure your good deed for the day was very much appreciated. 2 x 4 year olds plus a baby to look after all day sounds very stressful. Did the boys get on ok together for that length of time? DS has a "best friend" at playgroup but one of them usually ends up clunking the other after a couple of hours.

Had a bit of a hallelujah moment during my CBT today and I think I've got to the root of my problem at last. Now I've identified it I hope to be able to challenge my thoughts. I'm halfway through my course now and the next bit is going to be tough. It's all about exposure and facing my fears so I've got some grim homework to do over the next couple of weeks but I'm feeling much more positive about it all. Anyone reading this who is wondering about CBT for fears or phobias I can thoroughly recommend. I'm still not convinced i'll be cured completely but it feels so empowering just to understand my thoughts a little better.

They weren't too bad considering! I did have to referee a few little spats though .

Really glad the CBT is paying off - sounds like a real breakthrough to be able to get to the root of the issue. It must be hard though delving into your fears so full credit to you for having the guts to do it.

I think I know what you mean, kind of. I've been reading the Paul McKenna 'I can make you thin' book (as recommended by Jaggy I think it was). Now, granted, I'm not thin yet, but some of the stuff really resonated with me as to why I eat when I don't need to so although I've always known I comfort eat, this kind of made me see why I do it iyswim? Doesn't mean I've totally overcome it (I've spent a lot of years refining my overrating skills) but I'm working on it!

Overeating, not overrating!

Although I probably do that too

Biscuits, the waving is a v recent accomplishment! I said 'wave goodbye!' and waved, but she didn't do anything, so I said 'oh, it's a very recent trick and it doesn't always come off', and then she waved!

Btw, I've just had an email from MIL saying that she saw M crawl at the weekend. She said at the time that M had ALMOST crawled, which is not the same thing! Bloody one-upmanship. When I sent her an email saying M had said 'Da-da' loudly and clearly, she replied saying she thought she'd heard her say that the day before. Grrrrrrr.

Scarlet, glad to hear that the CBT is helping! I shall tell DH - he's on the waiting list for it for his depression. How are you meant to do homework?

Dream, if you can manage all 3 alone for a morning, I must confess that I can't see why your DH can't. I know he works long hours, but surely he could let you have the odd lie-in at weekends? I hear you on the lack of sleep. Mum keeps saying I should do cc, but I just can't. In fact, she said I should do cio - leave M in the cot and let her cry herself to sleep. Gma made her do it with us when we were maybe 6 months and it worked, therefore it can't have done us any harm. Maybe not, but I just couldn't. I did think about Hawthers' sleep specialist. Our current agreement is that if M isn't sleeping any better by the time she's a year old we'll consider paying for a phone consultation. I just keep hoping she'll get it on her own!

But when i do it too I either take them to a playgroup where I know there'll be someone who will help, or I get them ready and we walk to the ducks/ abandoned gypsy horses/ playground in the village at the boys nap time. Main issue is DD has major, major separation anxiety. Like, huge. I have to put the boys to bed, then her as dh can't do it, she gets hysterical :( . So even after no nap she's on bed after 7... To be fair, dh has done breakfast for the three of them, and I've stayed in bed til 8:30, but I've already fed the boys and the falling asleep part is what I struggle with. Argh! When he and my dad took them to music group when i cracked last week I couldn't sleep and cried at home by myself like a loser . So i can't/ don't always take advantage of opportunities.

S already been up once. My resolve not to feed him has already crumbled, so he has had more milk after only 2 hours... But he self settled tonight in his cot so i know he can, not that he always falls asleep feeding, just 99% of the time. Or maybe 75% as he falls asleep in his buggy on the Walk of Sleep twice daily

That's what I'm finding exhausting biscuits - constant refereeing, of DD with them, them snatching toys off each other, them wanting constant entertainment and bursting into tandem howling if i walk away (then who do you comfort first?!). It's just so relentless. I have approximately 30-60 minutes to myself each evening, I can't even remember the last time I watched a tv program as i use it to shower/read/mn/ argue with dh .

Right, whinge-fest over.

Off to shower. I shall return magically energetic and Brooking left right and centre in about 2 years soon.

Oh, but hawthers, thank goodness work is a bit better this week. And glad the nanny will be cannonised not sacked :)

scarlet well done to you with the cbt. Have faith, though does sound like it'll be tough. Still brooking for your rings.

biscuits I finally did some fb work today, and can confirm there is nothing wrong with your nose. At all. And you don't look at all meh. Can we see a picture of the new locks, cause you're worth it and all?!

Oh dream it all sounds so exhausting! Ds2 has done that howling when you walk away all day today - so so dull! So I'll nip into the kitchen to pick something up or put something in the bib, he cries, then drags himself after me (still crying) just as I'm on the way back and then looks even more put out that I've negated his hard work getting to the kitchen doorway!

I'll see if I can find a pic of my hair and put it on fb - It's really nowt that special, more of a contrast compared to what it was like. I don't think I've even allowed a 'before' photo to take place!

Bin not bib

Too my homework is try and face my fears head on and then challenge my thoughts while I'm in that high state of anxiety. Eg I could watch and listen to some puking on the Internet, I could not make DS wash his hands the minute we enter the house, I might intentionally swallow some swimming pool water. Anything that usually would freak me out I'm going to do intentionally and measure how freaked out I am, how long it takes me to calm down and then focus on what actually happened rather than think about what might. I've also come to realise that everyone stresses about their kids when they might be ill and that's normal and ok. If I can just crack the stressing about it when there's no reason then life will be much easier. It's like I'm always thinking something bad is going to happen so I'm on alert for it all the time. There are personal reasons for that (I alluded to it on one of my FB posts the other day to do with the big C. Plus DS was sick while I had my first MC so he became even more precious to me as I thought I might lose him while I was already experiencing a MC). It's irrational but understandable. I've always had a vomit phobia, but I've somehow linked it to illness generally and developed severe anxiety. I'm not sure how it works for someone with depression but I imagine it will be to do with understanding thoughts and then learning to change them. It's complicated and I'm still open minded about it. I only have 4 sessions left so I'm determined to get as much out of it as I can. If it doesn't help me I really don't known what else I can do about it. I just can't afford to waste any more of my DCs childhood thinking that one of them might die

Dream I'm so sad to hear you're feeling low. You know yourself that it is purely lack of sleep that is causing you to feel like this. I read most of your posts in disbelief at what you actually manage because I know I couldn't do it. I'd have broken down with exhaustion and changed to FF at the very least, so all credit to you. Is there anyone willing to spend a weekend at yours? So that you and DH both get a break even if not at the same time? So you each get 2 half days off while the other one has help with the DC? I know it's not ideal but might be a short term fix?

Btw scarlet I wasn't meaning at all that my over-eating is anything like what you're dealing with, I just meant that I see where you're coming from with it helping to understand why you're thinking / feeling certain things.

It's very understandable how you've come to worry about things - but I imagine understanding the chain of events helps you to reassess whether you're looking at things in perspective.

Oh, and growing up and doing lots of swimming I must have drunk litres of pool water Never did me any harm.... [twitches]

Good luck with your homework xx

Meant to say Biscuits, I have the Paul McKenna ICMYT book and cd but they're at the bottom of a drawer never even been out the carrier bag . I over eat when content and happy and completely go off food when miserable or anxious. Unfortunately when either happy or sad I like a drink or two and I think it's this that stops me losing weight. I have a glass of 2 of wine most nights and my face and midriff show the evidence for sure.

Hi all. I haven't really been a great brooker recently, just muddling through the days really. DD2 has got oral thrush as well, which is obviously agony on the poor nipples too. We're medicated now though and she's a lot more comfortable. At least I'm an old hand and spotted it as soon as it appeared.

Sorry to not respond properly to everyone, but am doing a late feed before getting some much needed sleep. I'm close to dropping off actually, I'd forgotten about the soporific effects of breastfeeding

Aaargh, I forgot to check the oil level and the heating went off in the middle of the night and DH looked this morning and sure enough, we've run out. The oil company said it might be into next week before we could have a delivery! I had to take M to bed with me at 3am because her room was cold, and it is 12 degrees in here now. I'm about to light a fire so at least the living room will warm up. I begged the woman to give us oil faster - she said she would make a note that we had actually run out and they would try to get us a delivery faster but it might not be today or even tomorrow. I am a bad mother!

Oh too you poor thing. You must be freezing. Can you borrow any from anyone?
You sound very logical about your fears scarlet which must go some way to understanding them and then overcoming them? Very glad the cbt is working and giving you goals.
Ouch on the thrush smegs hope it clears up soon.
Its chuffing freezing here, school run was -3! I need to go shopping but seriously putting it off as its too cold. Maybe I'll write my Christmas cards instead or finish ebaying stuff...but i'm hungry and we have sod all food. Is it wrong to have pasta at 11.30 in the morning? Actually beans on toast might be a better idea.
I think we're going to start dd on food this week. You can't put here near a plate without her trying to have some and when I was eating a sandwich the other day and she was sat on my lap, she grabbed my hand with both of hers and tried to direct my ham sandwich into her mouth. I'm taking that as a sign she's ready

Hello all!

I've been in Germany with DS and my parents and sister. We visited Christmas markets in the snow and drank mulled wine. Fabulous!

I've just read the thread and will see what I can remember:

Too can you light fires in every room? Otherwise you'll freeze! Especially at night. :( Clever M with the crawling! But did you say she could talk ?! That is extraordinary! Glad the first nursery visit went well. And yay for a paycheque. :)

Jaggy just pop in when you can. You are not permitted to leave. :)

Scarlet glad the CBT is helping. Good luck with your homework! And I really hope those rings turn up soon. They will. We are Brooking No Argument.

Scream little A sounds very strong and sooo cute! Hope she also managed a better night's sleep. I like your DC2 plan - looks like you're sorted whatever happens with DH !

Musical DS also cries when things are taken away from him (eg the car keys) and has got cross and bitten me (fortunately he's still toothless) twice recently. Luckily the frustration doesn't last long and he's easily distracted. But I also dread genuine toddler tantrums!

Smegs love the name. Hope you got a good sleep and DD2's thrush is better.

Hawthers thanks for the recipe - sounds yummy! Glad work is going better already.

Dream you poor thing. You're doing such a good job. I hope you get some better nights so you feel more human. DD's anxiety will pass especially if you send her to nursery and the boys will sleep eventually and then you will be you again. You are amazing. Just keep going for a little bit longer. You can do it.

Biscuits nice hair! :)

Ninja you sound like superwoman getting all those jobs done. How do you do it? Seriously! What does DD do while you're hanging out the laundry etc? I try really hard but now that DS won't be put down to nap, I barely get anything done except MN .

Right. Really sorry if I've missed anyone out but I've taxed my memory as much as it can cope with .

Oh, anyone heard from Fluffy recently?

Oh yes, Biscuits , how are the boobs? Hope any discomfort is fleeting.

Ninja do you really think you should start DD on ham sandwiches?

I was wondering where you were Pet. Super of the German Christmas markets. We've said we'd like to go over next Christmas finances permitting. DH lived in Germany for a few years and has told me how fabulous the markets are. I've visited where he used to live but it was summer. I'd love to stroll around with a gluwein in hand.

Eek Too that's not good. Is there anywhere you can collect some oil from? It got down to 14 degrees in DDs bedroom one night last week and I ended up bringing her in with us. I ordered this www.jojomamanbebe.co.uk/sp+baby-sleeping-striped-regular-baby-jersey-travel-sleeping-bags-25-tog+B3365 and also bought a small electric heater for her room which has made the world of difference. She has the coldest room in the house, I think DH is going to have to rip the plaster off her outside wall and line it somehow. We have no cavity wall so can't insulate.

Ouch to the thrush smegs. Apart from that is everything still going well?

Good luck with the weaning Ninja

pet I might not make a ham sandwich the first meal but they seem to keep ds going so can't be all bad Buggered if i'm buying baby rice though, that stuff is rank. Need to whip out my weaning book and remind myself what else is suggested. Oh and dd is usually either in her chair/ on her mat next to me when washing etc being done. She does complain a bit but as long as she gets lots of change of scenery and is interacted with every minute or two she won't howl for at least, ooh, maybe 6 or 7 minutes......right, dd needs milk, i need a shower then I need to go shopping before getting ds from school. Oh how exciting my life is.

Slightly less self-centred post...

Smegs, hope the thrush clears up quickly!

Ninja, wow, weaning already! I thought DD was just a teeny baby - how old is she now? I can't believe she's old enough for weaning!

Pet, your trip sounds amazing. I went to the German market in Edinburgh on Sunday but I bet it's not a patch on the real thing. I had mulled cider instead of gluhwein, mmm.

Sorry, Dream, I didn't mean to upset you. But couldn't DH take the DC for a walk the same as you would? If DD is having separation anxiety though then it must be v hard going. Persevere with the time to yourself, though - you may have cried the last time out of sheer exhaustion , but give yourself another go. Even if you don't actually sleep it's still a break for you from the refereeing, as you say. I want to just give you a big hug!

Scarlet, gosh, that's pretty intensive homework! You can do it - you are so strong and you have your goal firmly in mind. I'm so sorry to hear about the big C and DS being ill during your MCs. It must have been horrendous for you. I forgot to say earlier, but actually my milk coming in with DD1 wasn't that bad. I was actually weirdly fascinated by it - my boobs, producing milk! Plus I'd spent a lot of time during pg worrying that I wouldn't have any milk to bf with (kind of putting the cart before the horse, as it turned out), so it was reassuring to know that I could produce it. The only day that was really bad (to do with the milk) was the day my milk actually came in, it was Day 5, so that plus the baby blues, plus grief, plus I had terrible diarrhoea from being on broad-spectrum ABs, and I felt all shaky and feverish and my boobs ached - it wasn't a good day. I didn't get an injection, though - the MW said they didn't do it any more in our trust and she told me to take Nurofen and get savoy cabbage instead. She changed my ABs too, which helped.

I have the fire on and the living room is up to 18.5 degrees. My feet are freezing, though, and the rest of the house is icy. DH is on his way home with more coal, because we hardly have any left. I'm not sure what we're going to do tonight - all sleep in the living room? It's the only room with a fireplace. M is currently asleep in her pram carrycot on the living room floor, fully dressed, in her sleeping bag, wrapped in a blanket and covered in another one. Her cheeks are rosy, so I think she's warm enough.

she's 23 weeks now (5 months and a week in real money) but I think she won't last till 6 months without food. she gets the same look a dog does when you eat in front of it

Hurray, the oil delivery has come! Sadly the boiler still won't start, so I'm trying to get hold of the estate to get them to send the plumber. We'll have to pay for this call-out because we forgot to order the oil in time, oops.

23 weeks! I thought she was still only wee. at the same look as a dog.