November 2012 - babies are here at last

[StuntNun]

This is the post-natal club for graduates of the November 2012 intake.

LO here was also yellow. As he is on mostly formula, so quite regular feeds told to ensure he drinks every 3 hours ( was on every 4 hours). Which we did n yellow improved. We were told more he feeds more he poops more the yellow will go.

Last few days stopped doing the 3 hour feeds. N just feeding when he wants. n his sleep has suffered. Today went bk to 3 hour feeds. Waking him if needed. Also after feeds tried to keep him stimulated so he didn't fall straight asleep. Hoping for better sleep tonight. So far so good. But sounds like he is a little whiney ATM hoping he goes into a deep sleep soon. Fingers crossed no repeat of yesterday's 12 to 3 am wide awake baby who wanted to play n cried whenever put down.

Dh made me lol , my iron is low , taking vitamins. Dh goes out n buys me broccoli n sprouts. N what can I make with that? Rest of the shopping is basics, bread cheese ham chocolate yoghurt lol. Most the food cooked in house is Indian. There is no broccoli/ sprout curry lol so today to save them being thrown away I boiled them n ate with gravy. Literally a plate of veg n gravy. I know I could have jazzed it up, few tates n chicken for a mini roast. Or with rice. Or pasta. But I CBA! Lol. Lazy or what!

Can't believe I'm looking forward to my trip out to dr surgery tomorrow! It's first time in 14 days I'm leaving the house (I can leave for medical appointments. Mil is not that unreasonable ) shame I can't take LO with me! Looking forward to his first ride in his pushchair. .

nervous I picked up a leaflet in mothercare for the castings. The company come in once a month, u book an appointment n they do it for u. Maybe call ur local branch n find out if they offer the service.

GT after I had DS my food for 5 days consisted of one thing - sprouts.

It was the only vegetarian thing on the bloody dinner trolley in hospital

Good job I like sprouts!

I just wish he'd breast feed. My milks coming in, my sister went out and bought a pump which I can't seem to use. Though last night I was shattered.

I feel like a failure I really do.

Just want to speak to the community midwife today when she comes over and just go through it all with her. I just feel like I've had no support in hospital. And now I'm out and I think it's too late.

He's on 3 hourly feeds too.

Horsey you are doing really well. If you want to BF the don't give up.

I felt the same when I came out of hospital, it all very over whelming and the lack of sleep makes everything x20 worse.

The thing is you are doing GREAT.

Which pump have you got? Can we help you with it?
evil

I have a pump too horsey. Using it now actually as this little one has a boob preference. It's the ameda which is a bit pricy but a time saver for me as I have to do both breasts. As Evil said, everything is so much worse when you are sleep deprived.

Hello all. horsey you can feed him. I found with my traumatic first delivery it took two days longer for my milk to come in than with the sections. Good to go over it with midwife, but sometimes they give varying advice. The basics are to keep baby on breast as much as possible and keep yourself well fed, watered and rested. The last point is hard!

I am an experienced feeder and DS is a natural. I ended up in hospital yesterday as he has not regained enough weight, and I felt like a failure. Thankfully with support and advice from a friend I was able to stay calm and give my point of view and avoided being admitted. It has really upset me though but I refuse their advice to give formula and express and measure and give via a bottle. There is no clinical need, and their advice is hardly going to increase my supply.

Breast feeding is challenging, but I still love it and hope to feed him for at least 18 months.

Jacob has had a better night. We are gonna go with the co sleeping for a while, and we slept from 12 to 3 so I feel fab. This is the first time he has slept at night since birth.

I have a cheap avent hand pump that works fine. I plan to start pumping after he has fed so DH can feed him a bottle each evening. All expressed will go into him that night until feeding properly established.

horsey my LO was also abit yellow and sounds like there are alot of other babies on here who were too. Don't worry about his weight you can have a MW come out each day to check his weight if your worried and that will keep a close eye on him. Sounds like you've had a very stressful time but try and relax and enjoy your little one and get the MW to keep a check on his weight. Your not a failure at all!! Hopefully the MW will give you some more support and help you feel better, there are also bf support groups that you can phone, I did and a lovey lovely lady come out to the house to talk to us and demonstrate things and it was really helpful, could you ask your MW if there is anything like that available to you?

Thank you GT ill give them a call tomorrow to find out

In quite excited to out BabyN in her pumpkin baby grow tomorrow [hblush] in a sad mummy I know but love it [hgrin]

Not at all nervous! I remember with DS1 spending ages choosing his outfit for the day. Now with DS2 everyday it is just a plain white vest with whatever baby gro is handy over the top!

horsey, you are doing a great job. Every single day you get through at this stage is a massive achievement.

Both my DS's had mild jaundice but regular feeding and sme sunlight cured it within a couple if weeks. In the meantime MIL thought he had a 'lovely colour, not pasty like a lot of newborns' [hhmm].

DS seems to have settled in to a routine of feeding to about 9pm, one night feed at 1am (which DH has been doing by bottle) and one at 4am. I'm pretty happy with that for now. I think DS1 woke a lot more at this stage but then again maybe I am just remembering it to be harder as back in those days I wasn't used to being permanently sleep deprived!

I think over 60% get jaundice and the most urgent cases are those that get it within 24 hours of birth. LO got it on day four and it lasted about 5 days. Bf babies get it more which is one of the reasons I supplemented. There are a few danger signs to look out for (look on nhs site) , but for the vast majority it's nothing to worry about.

LO settling into waking up twice during the night. Once for a quick feed and back to sleep, and the other time for a feed and long cuddle. So far so good though.

Re breast pumps. Over here we can rent hospital quality pumps from pharmacies. Is there any similar system over there? They make epressing faster and easier.

horsey I also got little bf support after birth. N am quite angry as I feel it's the cause of LO not bf now. With one exception he won't latch on and take a full feed. He will suck for ages (30min-1 hour) but still be hungry n will have his usual formula amount. Making me think he is taking nothing from me.

I am now concentrating on pumping. I find its better to give him pumped milk during day as he will need nxt feed quicker n formula at night as he sleeps longer.
I ordered a medela swing pump a few days ago. N am using a tommee manual pump ATM.

I am annoyed about not breast feeding. But last few feeds I did from the boob resulted in both LO n i crying with frustration. So decided to give it a break for a few days. I'm trying to remember that I'm doing my best. Nothing goes to plan n if I can't ebf then it's not the end of the world.

Phillips advent one? Couldn't get anything off. didn't seem to suction. Any thoughts?

Vq I don't think you realise how rough they were with him after for ESP after forceps. He's like scared of my breasts and my nipples and boob shape are not conducive to breast feeding.

What is ESP? I do not understand what you mean horsey I had ventouse and that was pretty dreadful. Her head was cone shaped and one big bruise. She was so sore. Forceps would be so much worse for your poor boy and you. I hope I have not offended or upset you at all x x

My avent one visibly pulls your nipple and could be very sucky, so much it hurt when I first got it I could not get it to do anything and it turned out I had the valve inside out. It is like something from the Krypton Factor assembling it. I need to do that today. Oh joy.

Do you mean that they were rough with him trying to get him to latch on? I remember one bitch of a midwife grabbing her little bruised head and baby screaming and grabbing my breast and shoving it down her throat. I am crying just thinking about that, and it was over 6 years ago. How that was meant to help I do not know.

Horsey the Philips Avent has lots of parts that need to be fitted together with a good seal or you won't get a good suction. Once I sterilised mine I used to put it together while still wet from the steam so that there was a good seal between the parts even after it had dried out. Then to get the milk to flow I would need to look at the baby, relax, sigh out a big breath and imagine the sensation of the letdown reflex. It gets easier to express once you're used to doing it but if you don't letdown then the milk won't flow.

Hi horsey, I was going to pm you this as I realise how emotive the subject is and I didn't want to offend anyone on here if they hold different views to myself. PM failed though (I think) so am posting here anyway.

Just to let you know you are not the only one to go through what you are going through. In fact from speaking to many of my mum friends it is pretty common.

I understand how you feel. Had exactly the same with DS1 - v traumatic delivery (with forceps that fractured his skull then EMCS). He was also a v big baby. Milk took ages to come in and when it did there never seemed to be enough for him and he'd be bobbing his head away from my breast in frustration and screaming. It was devastating and made me feel truly shit - I think I may have had mild postnatal depression from it.

Being told everyone can do it, and I am a) doing it wrong or b) just need to be patient didn't help.

What helped me was being given 'permission' by my dr, DH and midwife to top up with formula and being told that the most important thing was that he was being fed. Yep, we all know that it is the 'best' food for baby, but I really think as parents we should aim for good enough. Good enough is good enough and if giving formula may help preserve some of our mental health that will be better for baby in the end.

It can be very upsetting to not be able to breastfeeding but honestly, as your child grows you realise that there is so much more to parenting than what milk they drink in the first few weeks and months.

I hope what I've written helps in some way, I just wanted to let you know that breastfeeding is bloody hard and doesn't always work - it is not your fault or your babies. If you choose not to do it in the end, you are most definitely not a failure, you are making the right decision for you.

Rowing xx

You have to give yourself and Etienne time to recover Horsey not just physically but emotionally. You went through something traumatic and I totally agree with rowings post. FFing or just topping up with FF may just give you the space you and Etienne need to recover. Try giving formula and when he is calmerand you feel calmer taking him to the breast and seeing if he wants to give it a go. Also skin to skin cuddling is nice for both of you. But at the end of the day formula feeding may just be best for you and the baby. Please don't beat yourself up, you are doing so amazingly.

I'm with Rowing and Brockle as well, Horsey. Please put yourself and your son above any other considerations and do what you feel is best for you both, not what you think is best for you both. You can't go wrong with maternal instinct. We are blessed in this country with so many different ways to feed our children and whichever you pick your baby will thrive. MN is a treasure trove of information and there are others on here who have been through what you're going through. They can advise and you can choose what suits best. Hugs to you and know that we're all thinking of you and are sympathetic ears if you need advice/to let of steam/or just support that you are doing the best for your baby.

horsey remember you are his mummy. He is your baby. He knew your smell and your voice before he was even born. You are his comfort, the one he wants most. You are as linked now as you were in the womb. There is nobody in the world better able to care for him than you. You are not a failure, and it is not his fault either. I blamed my first baby for the traumatic birth and felt dreadful about it. Bonding was affected and I did get PND. I did not share how I felt with anyone at the time as I was very scared. Please do not make the same mistake I did. Please talk to someone if you need to. I wish you both healing x

rowing fractured skull must have been a dreadful experience. I am so sorry to hear you had to both go through that. Thank you for sharing your story.

Horsey just to echo what everyone else has said you are not a failure....breastfeeding is bloody hard work I am on dc4 and feel like giving her a bottle but keep hanging on in there because I remember it being a breeze after the first month or so when everything settles down :)

Vq rough handling him and me trying to get him onto the breast. His jaw was so bruised I just don't understand how they couldn't see that. I wish I had (then and now) the energy to fight but I haven't. I know that I can make it through each day. That's currently all I can offer.

My cousin is coming over now to help with the pumping.

Well be ok. Were both recovering. I didn't know labour would be as it was, I didn't know the after care would be as it was.

It's so true that no one can you prepare for anything to do with children. I question everything.

Rowing I've tried to reply but thank you everyone x

horsey that is so wrong that you had that rough treatment. I remember taking one feed at a time, and giving myself the choice. I chose to feed each time but feeling I had the choice helped. Even this time I have one bottle of formula in the house just in case. I understand the feeling of wanting to fight but not having the energy. Big hug to you and your beautiful boy x