FEB 2010 Two and a half to three...the "contrary age" (no it isn't! yes it is!)

[InmaculadaConcepcion]

Come in, sit down, fresh coffee is brewing, Prosecco's in the fridge for later and there's a bumper box of Lindt chocolates for all....

Scones I like you too We are conditioned to say "how do you do?" "how do you do do?" (ca va? ca va!). And not letting anything on, ask for RL help even if it is very hard.
Science is very wise and she wrote everything I thought much better than I could do.

DD2 keeps pointing at my bag saying "No more tictacs", so I repeat that she shouldn't have had them in the 1st place. But I would guess she shared with DD1, difficult to understand what she says anyway... Even if she is coming better and better.
The 3 languages are mixed up and she speaks more romanian than I thought. She also have her own invented language on top of that that I understand a bit but no one else. She also puts her tongue in between her teeth to speak which makes interesting sounds. At least she is interested now, pointing and asking "what is that?"

And I was wrong, she does have at least one colour "vert.

IC CP courage for all the illnesses.

I have to prepare my french lesson (gah!!! on french grammar, only 350 irregular verbs to go ) so waves to everybody else...

mous good news on the talking. It all sounds promising. Are you giving French lessons?

CP I hope you start feeling better soon

survival any ideas on what causes your DS2 nightmares? DS's are caused by separation anxiety but if I tell him at bedtime that maman and daddy are here and in the room next door, his wake up stops. Good luck and enjoy half-term

I'm so tired today as I didn't sleep well so I'm full of admieation for you with 2 as I normally sleep all night.

Ah Survival once again I am left marvelling at how you cope with all the health issues (and other issues..!) that are thrown at you. A couple of nights' coughing drove me close to desperation, several months of it I can't even begin to contemplate. And argh at the night terrors - poor DS2 and poor you, you must be even more exhausted than usual. At least it's half term, thank goodness.

Mous sounds like the talking is coming along - excellent! She'll get there! And work as a translator for the UN or something when she does...

SB bad luck on the crappy sleep - hope tonight is better.

CP hope you feel better too - it's been pretty much constant for you too, hasn't it?

Last night was much better for us. DD slept through - whether it was the Calpol, the fact that I'd elevated her cot, turned off the humidifier (which usually works wonders, but this time I suspect it was causing too much dampness that was exacerbating the cough) or that the bug turned a corner and started heading out, who knows? I'm grateful, though. DD's been much better today and her eyes are getting better too (she rubs them into oblivion when she has a cold).

Tonight I've dosed her up with Benylin which has a bit of drowsy-making anti-histamine in it - can't get Medised or Calpol Night anywhere at the moment - so I'm using a half dose of this one (it's not really meant for children younger than 6) to hopefully help soothe DD into another okay night's sleep. Chances are she won't need anything tomorrow...

DH has gone out tonight - he's thoroughly earned it, been working like a dog since the beginning of term (domestically too) so I'm enjoying a little bit of me-time between getting DS off to sleep (it usually takes a few attempts before he stays down) and looking forward to slinking into bed pretty soon with a book...

Thank you all. Hadn't meant to moan, but to give support to Scones and all of you with poorly ones/who are poorly. CP it definitely takes a while to be able to exercise after it. I've had three chest/bronchitis infections this year which is more than usual and probably reflects the lack of 'me' time and sleep!! Very annoying though, when I'd got into a great exercise pattern and was looking good! Hope to get back to it next week but determined to be sensible and only go if a) I am well and b) can stand up straight without wanting to fall asleep!!

CP do stick to your promise and tell someone in RL if they ask how you are feeling. In fact, I think you should just try and sart a conversation about it anyway. I know it's an easy thing to say and yet hard to do, but you wouldn't want a friend to struggle alone and no-one you know would want you to either.

IC glad to hear DD's coughing was better last night. Is it half term for DH this week or next? Hope it's good! I'm afraid the main casualty of our 6 months of hideous coughing was losing my best friend - she doesn't have kids and did not understand what I was going through. (In fairness, I don't think anyone except DH did). I think she got fed up of me moaning (and I'm sure you all sympathise with her !) and basically disappeared. I often wonder whether I could have done anything differently, but my other friends feel that the answer was no and that it said more about her than me. I thought I had post-natal depression, but I don't think I'll ever know if it was simply pure exhaustion. The bathroom is also falling apart from three 20 minute steaming sessions a night for 6 months!! Mouldy skirting boards and paint falling off!

I had 8 hours of sleep last night, only interrupted twice, which was much better, and feel like a new (if slightly icky - thanks to a poorly mum with whom I work) woman! The night terrors mainly happen just as we are going to bed, rather than in the night. Totally different to nightmares - very distressing to watch and nothing we can do about it, except keep him safe, which is easier said than done, as he gets up and lashes out, but luckily he doesn't remember them in the morning.

Mous your DD2 sounds ace, as ever. DS2 is really struggling with colours. His speech is very good so I am beginning to suspect that he may have some colour vision deficiency. He knows orange and brown, which strengthens my belief, as they are not colours he should know if he doesn't know the primary ones! He can match them as long as the shades aren't too close (e.g. pale blue/silver - confused two car colours yesterday, thinking they were the same) and has learnt to say 'red' when asked colour of strawberries etc.. but if you ask about random objects or beads/lego etc.. he simply has no idea. I worked really hard on it a few weeks ago to see if it was simply that he hadn't got there yet, but it made no difference. In fact, I've backed right off as he's beginning to get worried by no being able to do it. Might mean he can't join the armed forces or be a pilot apparently, but otherwise, I don't think it will be much of a problem.

Have very few plans for next week which is a rather lovely thought at the moment but needs some planning so we don't end up stuck in the house and bored. Anyone got any nice plans?
Night all.x

and stollen all round... (bit early for christmassy cake but hey...)

Scones sorry to hear you've not been feeling too well. Agree with everything sciences said and sending hugs. Also like you

IC sounds like a tough few days you've had. Here's hoping your dd1 is over the worst and none of the rest of you get the bug

survival ditto, just replace days with months . Interestingly dd2 also has small night terrors just when we go to bed. It must be related to one sleep phase going into the next? Oh, and interesting about the colours! My younger brother couldn't tell yellow and blue apart as a child and I think he has some colour blindness now.

cp wagging my finger at you to seek help so late after feeling ill so long with a chest infection!

mous good news on you dd2 starting to talk more. Love the thought of her having her own language!

We've had a good week with my mum looking after dd1 for two days while I worked. She would have liked to look after both children but realised after the first day with dd1 that both may be too much. She can't walk very far or very fast, so taking both girls to the park would have been impossible. What she has in spades though is time and patience and both girls have been competing furiously to have her attention . In fact, the first time in her life dd1 has shown some real sibling rivalry because she had her 'Oma' to herself for two days and finds it hard to share! Just sad the weather has been so grey. Hoping to go on some outings this weekend.

Happy half term to those of you affected...[hsmile]

Yep, half term has begun here and so has potty training!
Singularly unsuccessful this morning - initially DD threw a tantrum about sitting on her potty, then virtually refused to get off it when we deployed the chocolate button bribe incentive. She was being super-awkward this morning and I'd already had several run-ins with her and two "time-out" sessions, so probably not the best time to start mood-wise.
The only wee she did this morning went on the floor. Ah well. Here's to a more successful afternoon.

Yesterday we had poomageddon when DD spectacularly burst her nappy while strapped in the buggy having her nap - it went everywhere and I had to carry a screaming DD into the bathroom to hose her down with the shower to get her clean. I doubt the buggy will ever smell quite the same.... and that was even before we commenced potty training. Hey ho.

NK how lovely to have your mum around for the DDs!

Survival glad to hear of a better night for you! About time.....
DD slept fine last night, didn't hear a peep out of her until this morning. And apart from being Little Miss Awkward she does seem to be a whole lot better, hardly coughing at all.
I'm a bit chesty, but I don't think it's going to get too bad.

well we're trying DD going to sleep with no dummy

IC how was the afternoon?

CP fx she settles quickly and sleep fine

Forgot to say

DS didn't nap at nursery today but was very short fused as he was overtired

The afternoon was no better for potty training - DD peed in the bath, but nowhere else (apart from her nappy which I put on her for her nap). And she's becoming very resistant, both to sitting on the potty and the loo. We're going to try again tomorrow, but if she's becoming anti the whole enterprise, I think we'll shelve it for now and try again in the near future. I don't think there's any point in pushing too hard, or she'll build up negative associations with the whole idea.

Frustrating, though. DD had been going on for ages about Big Girl Knickers, doing wees and poos in the potty and had been removing her nappies the moment they were damp, so I thought she was ready. DD, it seems, has other ideas.

Still, her behaviour was a lot better after a stormy few hours this morning, so that's something.

IC It wasn't until the third day that anything happened with DD. Lots of wees on the floor but we didn't push the sitting on the potty beforehand, just asked her if she wanted to or put her on when she did a wee in case there was any more, plus keep her away the mess.

DD went off OK, it's the night time wakings we're worried about. What DD has been doing for a few weeks now is waking when she needs the toilet. She tends to not know, or verbalise, that what's she wants. Random noises, but not quite crying the cue to put her on the potty/toilet and back to bed. Same for naps and night time (last night was a wee at 1:30 and poo at 5:00 - fun)

I'm mostly fine, have one or two episodes a day with bad coughing, enough to get people to ask if I'm alright but otherwise alright. Plus NHS site said tiredness and coughing can last a few weeks after pneumonia. It's hard to tell tiredness from illness apart from tiredness from children at night time. It is mostly the back pain which is the hassle atm and during a mild cough managed to re pull something today. For better or worse, I've decided next week to start some exercising. At least turning up and seeing what happens, even if I don't do any climbing it's a night out chatting to some people.

(sorry mostly me posts will end soon)

oh we plied her with loads of chocolate milk to at least get the wee's flowing

CP It may take up to six weeks for you to feel vaguely normal again

I've been falling asleep relatively early (8pm tonight) and waking up in the early hours. But at least gets me my 8 hours albeit broken up, and some me-time. And DH gets his quiet time in the evenings that he often likes. I'm so looking forward to this weekend and spending time with DH and DD.

I like you too scones and have been coveting your fenced up garden play area :). You always look great in your fb photos!

ic the much maligned Gina Ford is actually pretty good on the potty training advice front. I was loaned the book by a co-worker (who is actually a big pain in the *ss, but at least I'm mollified by this). Said his wife swore by it, and it does talk you through any problems.

Sends get well vibes to cp, and waves to everyone.

Speaking of wake up wees cp, the other night DD seemed determined not to wee in her nappy in bed, so we were up 6 times in the night to go and wee, but she was dry in the morning! The temptation to not get up was strong but decided to think long-term.

Was just reading this again, get well to other poorlies too:). Everyone seemed in general health at the moment.

7:44! That's when I woke up to find both girls awake and chatting to each other... Haven't had such a lovely lie in for ever

My 2.8 year old woke up at 4am this morning...and didn't go to sleep again, my 5 week old however woke up 1am & slept through until 6am... if it's not one it's the other!

MrsHels I just saw your comment on our previous thread so decided to copy it for the group - Joining a bit late, DS1 was born Feb 10 & DS2 is now 5 weeks old. DS1 has adapted really well to his younger brother & is always giving him kisses & cuddles.

I just wondered what time your toddlers go to bed? We rarely get ours in bed before 8:30, which I didn't think was a problem but my mum insists it's too late & also pointed out he will need to go to bed earlier when he's at school & making his bedtime earlier when he's older will be difficult. So what time do yours go to bed?

My DS is in bed at 6.30pm at the latest and wakes up at 6.30am and sometimes 7am at weekends. I would say to do what is the best for you and your DS.

Ideally DD's bedtime is 7:30 otherwise she tried to get up too early. Lately it has been 6:30 as she's a bit under the weather and tired. She has a gro clock and even though she mostly wakes before 6:30 (but generally after 6 atm) she largely stays in the room. We had a phase of 5am get ups which was related to needing a poo and then it being too close to get up time.

Does he still nap? As if he does then he'll probably need an hour less at night. 8:30 is quite late if he is still getting up really early and maybe you've fallen into the overtired trap. My old next door neighbours had a really late bedtime (seems common in the Asian families round here) but her eldest just started school and they adapted really quickly to the change in routine. Especially since she was so tired she was happy to go to bed a few hours earlier. DD still seems to have a body clock a bit shorter than 24 hours so we periodically find ourselves having to push her bedtime back.

DD did alright last night, a couple of wakings but I just put her in bed with me and she went off, albeit taking a bit longer than normal. She woke up announcing she was bigger and didn't need a dummy and then gorged herself on the chocolate the dummy fairy had left. I think we have a few more rough going's off though.

MrsH I answered on your other thread (in sleep?), DD2 goes at 8h30/9 and wake up at 6. She is not a big sleeper and is happy all day, with or without a nap we are in transition. If we put her earlier she will wake up at 4 or 5am.
DD2 as started kindergarden in sept. all morning 8h30 till 14h, and we have to leave at 7h45 in the morning to get her sister on time for school, and she is completely fine with it all, so 7h is the latest we can get up. I never have had to wake her up she is usually our alarm clock .
I think your mother is wrong , if it works for you, stay with it. You can change the schedule quite easily once he goes to school if he needs it. DD1 has adapt very well to a lot of changes including sleep schedule.
I don't know many children who sleeps 12h at night it is nearer to 10h, they are all different though (quickly thinking I think it ranges from 8 till 14h in my immediate circle with under 5s).

If your DS is grumpy a lot, not hungry, over tired/excited at bed time... I would guess he needs more sleep though.

DD woke up at 7.20 yeah! (but went to bed past 9h )

Waves to rainbow
NK

In case I don't get to read/post any more of the thread - I want to send big hugs to Scones. I like you, I really like all of you. I always worry that I'm too self absorbed and that I'm a bit of a gatecrasher as I joined the thread some time in postnatal rather than being her since the beginning. So I worry about being not liked too - if something good happens I worry that I am blowing my own trumpet as well. Terribly self conscious.

well i think it's fair to say most of us feel that way then. I had no idea you were a latish comer to the thread bc

I am quite proud of DH tonight, he had to put them down as it is my tutoring night. When DD started to talk about being sad regarding her dummy, he told her to tell her roo and other soft animals how she was feel (as he had to put DS down). It seemed to work (she talked for a while and then went to sleep with no crying) and not something I would have thought off. In fact I'm not really sure how to show her how to deal with negative emotions. I tend to just talk it through with her but that's not giving her tools at dealing with it herself.

I guess I have a few 'pat' phrases that I use and ought to think about it more on a case by case basis.

Generally I say 'it's ok to feel sad. Just tell someone how you're feeling and they will be kind to you.' I try and name the emotion I think DS is feeling - usually 'frustrated' or 'cross'. The problem is when he is really stressed he goes non-verbal and just makes this (highly annoying) 'UUUH UUUH UUH' droning/crying sound that makes me feel a bit frustrated and cross myself though I try not to show it. It can go on for quite a long time too.

DH has gone out to see Muse for work. Both children are asleep. I just finished clearing the kitchen and doing a teeny tiny bit of ironing. It's only really the baby's dresses and blouses that I iron, I am a bit of a sucker for pretty baby clothes even though my head says 'cotton jersey all the way' I seem to have ended up with a few dinky little blouses and corduroy pinafore dresses somehow.

I think one of the issues with sleep is that I am loathe to give up that bit of the evening when they are both sound asleep - kind of 7-10ish as I feel I need it to unwind, watch an hour of telly, have a sherry etc etc. when really as her sleep gets so shit after midnight I should be catching my sleep where I can. Every night I say I will then I don't.

I said on fb about DH helping DS's keyworker to get a record dea. Obv. I am thrilled for Joel but feel very conflicted as I really don't want him to leave the nursery - he's such a nice bloke and it's so important for the boys to have male role models. There is another man too but all the other people inc the manager are female.

Right - my mum just rang and woke the baby. Have to go.

I'm very jealous of your husband . I love Muse but haven't been able to get to any recent gigs.

We saw the HV the other day for DS2 & she said 8:30 was far too late for DS2 to go to beg....it should be 7-7:30. Putting him to bed this late doesn't really work for us, he's overtired & cranky & we don't get to eat supper until after 9. Add in a 5 week old to that & hopefully you can understand the problems. However, we tried putting him to bed earlier last night & he woke up at 4am! However he wasn't feeling well so I hope it's not a regular occurrence, DH is dead against moving his bedtime at all so don't want this not to work.

dd2 is in bed between 6.30 and 7, followed by dd1 between 7 and 7.30. Not set in stone though... today was much later because we had dinner later after a day out and then allowed the girls to stay up reading bedtime books in front of the fire . Hoping for another lie in...
Oh, and dd2 has only started going to bed before 7 when she decided a lunchtime sleep was for babies and she now gets very cranky by about 5pm.