June 2012 - Jubilant mums of Jubilee babies

[TeaandHobnobs]

It is Jubilee weekend - awaiting those babies!

Shelduck I'm a big fan of BF but I understand the pain you're going through. I BF DS1 til he was 9 months old, he then stopped wanting my milk, I was very upset. This time round, the first 7 or 8 days have been hell again. The sore nipples seem to last forever, but I'm only on day 13 now and I've been clear of nipple pain for a few days. It does get easier I promise, however, if you do choose to stop, then that is ok too, you must do what feels right for you. All I'm saying is the dark days don't last for long and you're doing so well. Take care of yourself.
Yipee McK your milk must be getting through, especially now your milk is coming in. Good luck with your BF tonight.

Shelduck I'm sorry you're having such a hard time. I don't want to come across as judgemental because I'm really not. I personally don't care whether people choose to ff or bf. What I will say is that if you really wanted to breastfeed and you think you'll feel sad if you stop then the people who offer Breastfeeding support in your area owe it to you to help you achieve what you wanted. If you can get all the right help it will become easier, I know it is super hard and almost seems impossible that you might carry on but with the right advice you can get through this stage - if that's what you want! My own personal experience with my ds1 was that feeding became very painful, I left it till it felt too painful and I couldn't bare the idea of one more feed so I switched to formula at 3 weeks. Within a day of stopping I felt terrible as I had really wanted to succeed. I finally decided after 3 days to contact the local lactation consultant and give it another go. It wasn't smooth sailing as I had stopped for three days and he had kinda got used to bottles by then. In the end he was mix fed till 5 months, this meant a mixture of bf, ff and expressing breast milk to feed to him. Basically it was harder than just ff or bf. in hindsight I should have asked for help at the first sign of pain before the damage was done so I could have turned things around. I don't know why I didn't, I just felt I should be able to cope and didn't believe they would really be able to help When I had ds2 I experienced the same pain and called the lactation consultant before I even left hospital. She worked with me and after a rocky start I fed him till 16 months. When i contacted the lac cons I honestly couldn't see how I would last one more day never mind several months. I was so proud. This time round, despite being a peer supporter and apparently 'knowing it all' I have still had pain and struggled a bit but I have once again contacted help and made sure I got support. I'm starting to turn the corner and can see the light at the end of the tunnel.
I guess I'm telling you these stories because I want you to know that with the right help you can do this if that's what you wanted. Apparently 90% of women who stop bfing stop before they wanted to, I think this is really sad. Its a shame that this happens because the services and support out there are so hit and miss. Don't do anything you think others want you to do, its about what you want at the end of the day. If you feel you don't mind whether you bf or ff then that's fine, plenty people ff and bf for different reasons. No one will judge you either way

By the way, I wrote up my birth story for anyone who is interested

Birth story

I had had contractions for 3 days on and off as you know. When mon morn came I'd been up through the night but they still weren't regular. Dh dropped the boys off with the pils as I was knackered and went to work leaving me to relax. Around 9 the contractions were strong and I'd had 5 in a row at 5 min intervals. I'd had this several times over the last few days but they seemed the strongest yet and I was sick of waiting so I phoned the hosp and told em I was getting regular contractions every 5 mins and they said to go down. I texted Dh and he came home from work. On the way down my contractions slowed right down and I only had 3 or 4 over the hours journey. I was a little worried i'd be sent away for being a time waster when I got there. We didn't go straight to delivery when we arrived, I had a strong contraction as soon as I stepped out of the car then a long gap. We popped to the cafe and had a quick bite to eat then paced the corridors for an hour. I rang delivery and let them know i'd arrived but was trying to get my contractions going again. Just before 1.30 the pain stepped up a notch and I knew I would need gas n air shortly so we went up to the ward. She showed me in to the room and I hopped on to the bed to be examined. I was quite calm, she went to feel my tummy then I had the strongest contraction yet, I think she was quite surprised and commented it seemed a strong one. I begged her for some gas n air and she said she would get it asap, asked me to pop my bottoms off so she could examine me then I could have it. She quickly examined me and I was 7cm . Immediately handed me the gas n air (oh sweet relief!) and attached some monitors whilst I squirmed around on the bed. I suddenly got cramp in my foot to add insult to injury, midwife stretched my foot and it was gone thankfully. I felt I wanted to lay on my left with one leg bent so my pelvis was open. I had planned on sitting on my ball but we didn't even have time to blow it up! She asked if it was ok that a medical student watched and I said I didn't mind, also commented to dh that she could invite the queen in for all I cared! I was saying all sorts of rubbish on the gas n air, was in fits of giggles at some points so it was funny as well as painful. Some of the things I said are as follows 'Christ on a bike, we're in this together' 'am I going to make it out the other side?' 'Jim Davidson just popped in to my head ha ha ha' ' this f*cking hurts mind, don't you think it doesn't!' 'I'm straight trippin' homie'. As you can see I was totally off my tits
Anyway I could feel my waters had gone and they kept leaking everytime the baby moved down a bit. The midwife offered me pethedine a few times but I knew from my last two deliveries it wouldn't be long so I declined, she made some comment about me being stubborn lol, I just didn't want the baby to be sleepy when born.
I started to feel pressure that made me want to push a bit but not the overwhelming urge to push as yet. All the way through I held dh's hand and squeezed it, when the contractions became really strong it seemed to help me to push his hand backwards and forwards as of I was rowing a boat funny but it helped.. He also kept giving me sips of water when the gas n air made my mouth dry.
Anyway, the midwife kept moving the monitor down my tummy so I knew that what I was feeling was the baby getting lower. The medical student was occasionally taking my blood pressure and my temperature which was a minor irritation, think he was a bit scared to come near me to be honest lol.
I felt like pushing and kinda started to then the midwife asked if I felt like pushing and I shouted yes whilst pushing, she told me to breathe instead until she checked how dialated I was. I kinda ignored her and kept pushing a bit as I knew I was ready but she checked anyway and confirmed. At that point she raised the back of the bed a bit and put some foot rests in place for me to push against. I haven't had that before, pushed Ds1 and ds2 out whilst laying on my side.
She took the gas n air so I could concentrate on pushing - not appreciated and she soon gave it back! As Oscar was about to crown I became slightly overwhelmed by the sensation and let out what Dh describes as a 'primal scream', I just made this noise for about 20 seconds and the midwife was trying to talk to me but couldn't make herself heard above the noise lol! When I stopped she said to stop shouting as she wouldn't be able to direct me pushing etc. I commented that it was really stinging and she said it was ok, that was just baby's head and he had blonde hair. I slowly sucked the gas n air and tried not to push as he came out. The midwife and Dh told me to open my eyes (they had been closed for 95% of the labour as I was concentrating on by breathing techniques and hypnotherapy phrases in my head). I opened my eyes just as he finished coming out and was placed in my arms. I said to Dh how beautiful he was and the midwife noted that the time was 16.40, about 3 hours since I arrived on delivery ward. I got tea and toast afterwards which is the first time ever, somehow I escaped this with the last two and just got a sandwich in a box.
The placenta was a little stubborn so she catheterised me and waited a bit then it eventually came out. I had a small graze that didn't require stitches so was pleased. Oscar fed straight away for about half an hour which was so lovely as Ds1 and Ds2 took a while to get going. I had a bath once i'd recovered a bit then Oscar fed again for another half hour!
We went to the ward just after 8pm so weren't rushed out of the delivery room. Dh left about an hour later.
He has been a perfect baby since so I'm waiting for him to wake up to the world and cause some trouble!

RhiB - it's so bad,makes me sad really. Glad to hear that Devan's left kidney is working well!!

Big hug Shelduck - I am a very pro bf but if you are getting anxious/associating him with pain,maybe you should express and give yourself a break??

Shelduck, I too haven't got any concerns about how you feed your baby and being on my 3rd I have had a variety of experiences.

However, if you CAN crack this somehow, I know that whilst the early weeks ARE tough, bfing is INFINATELY easier than FF in the longer term.

I would recommend giving one feed at a time, and regaining some control of th situation by feeding him more regularly than he is asking for it.

Also, you're day 5 right?

Day 5 is SHIT!!! You have a hormone crash just as your baby wakes up to the world!!!!!

Btw, I have no idea where the every 3-4 hour feeds thing comes from, but none of mine were like that. They fed completely random patters in the early weeks. Sometimes going 2-3 hours between feeds but sometimes only 15 mins.

I could usually get some peace if I fed just before going out/having a nap/making dinner and switching sides 2-3 times for that feed.

ooh, can I put my birth story here too? yours sounds really positive dairy, apart from the 3 days of contractions bit...

I ended up induced on the monday evening (40+6) for 'social' (i.e. childcare) reasons and due to her predicted size (was meant to be induced tuesday morning anyway, so it wasn't that early!), so had gel at 7pm, then was left for the night! DH was sent home to sleep for the last time too :o

contractions started at about 2am, needed paracetamol by about 3.30, TENS machine by 5, and was asking for any drugs available by 6, as the TENS was useless by then. DH called back in at 6am, me up to delivery unit for the epidural (yay!) - turns out they listen to you 2nd time round when you ask for pain relief! epidural was in by 7am, and was 4-5cm, so started well. then the epidural decided only to numb my legs and part of my pelvis...

so i was breathing through contractions, as epidural had taken the edge off, but by no means numbed me. by about 10am, i needed gas and air too, then we were told we were being moved to a different room as the delivery unit was having its entanox supply cut off for an hour (). so moved to clinical unit instead and got my gas and air. Gas and air was good - didn't make me throw up this time, yay! had some amusing moments, as i kept falling asleep between contractions, but a few times I came to just before the contraction and yelled at DH - things such as 'OH FUCK, I HAVEN'T PAID THE COUNCIL TAX!' and 'oh, who won the football yesterday?' and 'my face is all spiders it's running away' before bursting into tears then grabbing the mouthpiece for more G+A.

by 2, midwife thought i was nearly ready, so broke my waters, then 2.40, started me pushing. this is where it went tits up - i pushed for an hour, and no sign of baby - she would come a little bit out then back in with each push. consultant was called, and the heartbeat was dropping worryingly, so I was whipped into theatre for a forceps or c-section delivery. epidural was all but useless by this point so I was crying, sooking on gas and air like a woman possessed, and having to sign consent forms between contractions, with my legs akimbo. dignified... I think by this stage I had had internal exams from 10 different women since arriving in the hospital, so when they put a sheet over my legs to take me to theatre, I was yelling 'what's the fucking point, just get me to theatre!'

in theatre, they removed the epidural and gas and air from me so i was howling through contractions, when not crying 'just knock me out and get baby out!'. vomited everywhere just to add a little extra to the atmosphere of calm... then got a spinal which was amazing, and stopped screaming

surgeon did quick examination, declared em was back to back and possibly shoulder dystocia case, so she was going to use rotational forceps to get her out. 5 minutes later, baby emerged with cord round her neck (no shoulder dystocia, luckily), and was taken to be resuscitated whilst we looked on horrified. luckily, all was ok, and em was wrapped up for DH to hold her. I was shaking so much I couldn't hold her for an hour, but just kept crying whilst she took everything in! she was brought over for me to see and I snorted all over her, bizarrely :o got to hold her finally, and she fed beautifully for 40 minutes. oh, and as I didn't change her nappy for the first 24 hours, I didn't believe she was a girl, as she is the double of DS at birth. And I didn't feel the same rush of love for her as I did DS at birth, but am besotted with her now :)

and I am so not having another baby :o

Thanks for the birth stories.

Poor you though Kveta. Sounds a really tough one!

Sorry Shelduck my post may have come across really abrupt because I hit post as DS needed my attention - what I was trying to say is that I believe in bf as an ideology but with DS thanks to a variety of issues (the tongue tie being the major one) we never got off the ground...which led me to feel like a failure,which I was not and looking back makes me feel so sad. I am just grateful that this time it's going so much better for me.

So I suggested expressing to give yourself a breathing space but with the option to go back to bf,if you think that's where you may be...but if you want to ff,please never feel guilty about it as your health and feelings are just as important as your baby's and enjoying your baby and bonding are by far the most important.

Still don't think I'm putting myself across well but I hope you know what i mean

Sending more hugs xx

Kveta loved reading your birth story The end sounds traumatic for you, thank god it's over now though. I remember having a spinal to be sewn up after ds1, bliss!

Oh and lol at your gas n air induced outbursts!

likewise at yours Dairy :o - last time I used it I just threw up every time, and hated it, but this time it worked so well! DH enjoyed the interludes of insanity in an otherwise quite terrifying day for him! he said he hated seeing me having contractions before the G+A when I was shaking, sweating, and moaning through each one - I wasn't aware I was that bad, as thought I was hiding how much it hurt from him :o not got a poker face, clearly!!

I'm just popping in to say hello really :)
Just noticed the birth stories so will have a read at them when up in the night -- is a very good excuse to stay awake as I do have a tendency to find my head on DS's :)
DH and I are heading to bed, we're absolutely exhausted, we manage shift work between us which to a fly on the wall must look hilarious -- two red eyed, grumpy parents passing baby to one another before/after feeds inbetween horrendous snores and random eye opening to check baby is ok between us.
I had a peaceful afternoon with baby and eldest DC in the city centre, LO slept the whole time giving us time to shop and have lunch on our own.
I am thrilled that finally on Day 17 am back to non-maternity clothes!! Was getting sick of high waisted maternity trousers and was a good excuse to shop

Love all the beautiful pics on FB girls, we are all so blessed. Off to bed now, have a maths scheme of work to start for the DC tomorrow [yawn] xx

Thanks Dairy and Kveta for sharing.

Kveta you amaze me how you always manage to describe distressing or trying situations with an apparent wry smile on your face - you are an impressive and formidable lady!

Dairy your story got me thinking... There is this "golden threshold" of 3 contractions in 10 mins to indicate active labour. I guess they have to pick something, however arbitrary, and not everyone will fit that pattern, but your story (and mine) shows that dilation can occur even with irregular contractions (I think Blondie's story also corresponds?) - but they don't tell you that can happen! My experience of antenatal education suggested that labour follows a set pattern - do you think they should mention that not everyone has a textbook labour? (I did miss the "what if...?" session, so I guess they might have mentioned it there...)

I should stop rambling

Our midwife team held their picnic today - the rain held off for the first hour! I am though because I must have dropped my jumper on the way, and it was my favourite I don't think H&M sell it anymore and I can't really justify buying another as it is a maternity jumper and I have two more in other colours. Poo.

DS is cluster feeding again this evening. I am crossing fingers that tonight might be an improvement on the nightmare of the last two nights fat chance

Tea my C cluster feeds every night, on and off for 3 hours, then I get anything between 4 and 5 hours before the next feed. Godsend, as I get a decent sleep.

tea I was saying to dh that if I had waited till contractions were regular I would have never gone in to hosp. I just went down after a handful of regular ones cause I'd had enough! Scary, if I'd waited I might have ended up giving birth on the way or something It is strange they think everyone will follow the same pattern. Luckily as I had been through labour before I knew by the level of pain things were happening!

small enjoy the birth stories and sleep well

The birth stories are really interesting. I need to type mine up.

My milk has come in. It bloody hurts and I feel like Jordan. Is it normal for one side to leak while you feed from the other side?

Ooh go on then , here's my birth story.... My boobs are so sore btw, think milk will arrive tomorrow... Shelduck - I'd only add that if you can crack bfing then it is fab for not having to take extra stuff out with you (bottles,formula etc) or indeed have to sterilise stuff - though that I know its not for all...

Birth story!

Not the most stress free scenario with DS and hubby on children's ward at luckily the same hosp I was delivering at... Went to bed Weds night after stressful day with wheezy DS in hospital and knew I was having the odd contraction but by that point determined to hold off until the morning! Woke at 1 am then 3 am and at 4 am had couple more contractions and I was pretty sure as soon as I got out of bed I would be all stations go! Stressed a bit as I was on my own with DD at home.

Got up at 4.30 am and rang hospital to say I was having contractions but had no medical notes as they were locked in our filing cabinet and hubby had the key! They said to come in, I started timing my contractions properly and went straight to 3 contractions every 10 mins! Rang neighbour who kindly stepped up to our emergency situation.

Had a shower! Got dressed, got DD up and dressed, took her to neighbours so her husband could take her to play school. Finally got to hosp just after 6am I think... Just breathing through the contractions... didn't think I could walk but managed to get myself together and went up to labour ward. We were shown in to a delivery room but it took ages for someone to see me, prob an hour as somehow the message hadn't got across that I was in labour!! Anyway a midwife popped in finally and got the good news about the lack of notes and finally checked me by which time I was 9cm dilated! Hubby had arrived from the children's ward by that point fortunately.

I had put the Tens on by then and was just using that however I suppose everything slowed down a little then, probably because I relaxed a bit, when they checked me at about 8.30 am I hadn't progressed so they were going to break my waters but I got off all fours tried to have a wee at the midwifes suggestion as I had a full bladder and then sat on the ball for a bit. That obviously did the trick for the last cm as it suddenly felt v intense, started pushing on the next contraction, got back on the bed, waters went, mec everywhere, midwife trying to get sensors on me, beat her to it, 2 pushes and the head was half out, 1 more and the rest whooshed out! No transition really apart from hanging around at 9cm I suppose! They put second stage as 9 mins in my notes! I did use gas for the pushing btw!

Our lovely neighbour, a mother of 4, stayed with me for the whole thing, hubby was there for the important bits, DS stayed happily on his ward, all worked out fine!

Few grazes and some minimal stitches for a small tear, definitely got the benefit of the gas for that bit!. I had DS at the same hospital and first time around wasn't impressed, this time it was a totally different experience. My midwife was fab and stayed with me (not like last time!), they came and stitched me really quickly, and it just seemed so much more professional as well as friendly.

Almost fainted after my shower - same as last time. Lost a fair bit of blood so they gave me iron tablets but I am eating steak and had some guinness tonight too as I really don't want to take iron tablets until I have had a poo. Must get some spinach tomorrow!

McKayz I always leak from the other side, even after 8 weeks!

McKayz - not necessarily everyone leaks but I do. Its a bit of a pain, I use lansinoh pads, or you can get shells to stick in your bra so you can collect the leakage and freeze it for bottle feeding.

Tea - I did right until I dropped down to 2 feeds a day or something at the end with DS.

McKayz yep to the leaking. I like the Johnson and Johnson pads. Different people tend to have different favourites though..

I've got mothercare ones and tommee tippee ones that came with the pump.

Everything feels much better today. except for being very very thirsty which I've read is normal.

Wow Cath, what a fab story. Sorry it was a bit stressful with your Ds etc.

McKayz I seem to become instantly thirsty as soon as ds latches on, happens every time Glad things seem better today!