FEB 2010 Terrors sometimes, angels at others - yep, they're properly two now...

[InmaculadaConcepcion]

New thread!!

0.5 mile run tonight, which was surprisingly more post-achey considering the difference was only 0.15 miles.

DH has a interview tomorrow and won't be back until 9pm, but I have prepared dinner tonight, just not sure how sleep will go. DS has been in his cot for the first half of the night lately, and he doesn't wake every hour like he did at that time just last week. Starting to feel like I have some evening time again.

BG hope she gets better, DD has slept through two nights running here.

Dd2 has croup again and was panicking a bit earlier when she had a coughing fit and couldn't breathe. My nose has turned very red now and I am quite muddled (listened to an answerphone message my mum left earlier and started commenting on what she said, then was a bit surprised when she wished us a good week and put the phone down on me. It took me a good ten minutes to work out that neither had I said anything wrong, nor was she rude to me... )

dd2 wanted to go to nursery this morning but I've just had a call to say she's really not very well, so I will collect her shortly. Thankfully I opted to work from home today because dh is off on a business trip and away overnight...

Can someone just stop this rain please? It's really getting me down now.

I just walked down the landing past dd2's room and when she heard me approach she said 'I'm not doing anything!!' - which obviously prompted me to investigate what exactly she wasn't doing! She is now very cross that I caught her...

BG love your DD2. How is she doing and how are you? Great that you can work from home if you need to. (Although a day off would be even better eh?)

CP that is great news on the running. I could not run for a bus so I applaud you thoroughly and it is fab that you are back doing something that you enjoy. How are you feeling these days? Good luck with the solo evening. I have one of those coming up and am quailing..... (but telling myself of course I can do it).

SB decorated cows.... the mind boggles... Loved the picture of afternoon tea.

survival if I was having your friend's procedure I would want DH with me and there would also be no way on earth he would be going away for the weekend the following weekend. No way in the world. But every marriage is different and if it works for your friend then good luck to her. I think CP's idea of a thoughtful gesture is a good one.

How was the Gruffalo Trail?

bc DD1 won't poo on the potty either. She is holding it in until we put a nappy on her for bed and then goes straight away. Not sure what we can do about it; I'm not that bothered yet. I'm crossing my fingers and hoping it will resolve itself with no further action from me

BBB glad that DH is behaving How are you enjoying your child-free time?

Hi rainbow

How are you feeling IC?

I can't remember who asked about naps, DD1 has basically dropped hers (it was a morning nap as she does afternoon nursery sessions) but just last week had two. I got quite excited as I love love love nap time. No more since but I will keep on trying

We are having a right old power struggle each morning getting dressed. I have tried ignoring the issue, suggesting getting dressed and acquiesing (sp?) when she says no, bribery (dressed then we can go to the swings), threats (if you don't get dressed we're not going to the swings) but it always seems to end with me wrestling her into her clothes. It's getting me down, I'm sure it's got into a bit of a habit now as it's been a week or so. But I can't ignore it to the extent of not getting dressed at all, as she goes to nursery. And anyway, I feel (probably wrongly) that I can't let her 'win' on this.

What rotten weather eh. We've been fairly lucky in our corner of Sussex so far but solid rain for the past week. It's pretty gloomy.

I am not doing so good this afternoon and we're not even onto this evening yet

DS didn't go down like normal at lunch and then only slept for 30 mins and I just got really annoyed with it. Had trouble getting to sleep last night so don't think the two combined well.

dd2 has worked out a fool proof way to get out of nap time (I've tried to get her to nap the last few days because she's unwell): she takes off her clothes, then her nappy and then calls me for help . When I assist her (because I don't want a soaking cot) and take her out she decides that that was it for nap time and refuses to go back in. I always give in at that point because I can't cope with her howling.

CP good luck for tonight. I'm also home alone and hoping to get dd2 into bed by about 6.30. She has not slept today and goes from howling to giggling to howling every few minutes. I feel pretty rough myself and will be in bed as soon as dd1 goes to bed because I have to be up at 6, drop dd1 at school, dd2 at nursery (no doubt with a dose of calpol...) and then have to drive to work. dh is not back until late tomorrow night so I also have to get back in time to collect both girls.
Hoping for a quiet-ish night and the same to you!!

So sorry to hear about rough days and nights BG, CP
How's DD2's croup, BG? Is she getting over it okay now? Sorry to hear you're feeling rubbish too.
How's the new job shaping up?

Good news on the sleep CP, but it sounds like it's a bit swings and roundabouts too. I hope you get some decent rest tonight.

Scones I've found that DD is much more biddable when it comes to getting dressed since I started reading her a story at the same time as putting on her nappy and clothes. Suggestions from the Calmer, Easier, Happier Parenting book have also proved invaluable - lots of Descriptive Praise and preparatory "think-throughs".
And I'm fine, thanks - although starting to feel tired with the extra weight I'm carrying and the disrupted sleep (plus all the extra brain-activity related to our imminent house move etc.)

CP and BG good luck for tonight.

scones the 'cow parade' is great fun, especialky as DS likes 'vaches' (cows). So far, we've seen 16 out of the 52 and I aim to take apic of DS with each of them (I know that I'm mad )

DS is really enjoying my mum to be over here to the point that he doesn't let me do anything with him. I know it'll be back to normal when she leaves but I'm a bit sad niot to be able to put him to bed as it has always been our moment.

i got them both off by 7 by cheating and putting down early For all my smugness DD woke at 3 am last night

glad the pg is going alright :)

do you have a link for the book as I remember googling when you first mentioned it but couldn't find it

dd2 didn't sleep until way past 8 refusing to believe that dh will be back tomorrow (she was howling her Papa is never coming back... and then coughed herself sick) and dd1 was awake until nearly 9, chatting loudly to her imaginary friend (when I asked her to please be quiet because it was keeping dd2 up, she said she wanted to be quiet but her imaginary friend wouldn't stop talking to her...). I'm about ready to crawl into bed myself now...

IC Glad to hear you are doing okay.
CP Hope you have a good night!
SB I am quite prepared to 'lose' my children to my parents when I go over... Grandparents' prerogative
BBB Hope you are enjoying yourself and all is well at home after a school day!
Scones My job is great for flexibility and as long as I get my work done it's up to me how to divide my time. I got loads done this morning before I collected dd2 from nursery at 1, so did not feel that I was skiving by staying home. And with a commute of an hour each way it sort of makes sense not to go to the office too often.

Survival when I had my ERPC under GA, DH took me into hospital and picked me up afterwards, but didn't stick around - which was fine by me. I would say it's worth having someone to get you after the procedure as GA can make you feel a bit woozy. (I loved it - first proper sleep I'd had since before DD was born..!!)

I've been enjoying the tales of the nappy travails, SB - although I appreciate it's been a bit of a trial for you!! Is the tape doing the job?

Sure thing CP - think I may have put the Calmer/Easier/Happier etc. in the wrong order in previous posts...

Here it is

Sorry to hear about the rubbish sleep and poorly people again - I'm sure it's weather related. My friend works for the ambulance service here and apparently theya re ona much higher level of alery than usual for this time of year due to lots of D and V, late chicken pox and chest infections. CP I hate those days when you are clinging on to the idea of a quieter spell when DC should be alseep and then they don't go off for whatever reason. Has been known to make me very cross.

Hello IC haven't said much to you for ages. I guess the heaviness and insomnia were probably inevitable in the end - at least not too long to go now.

Thanks all for feedback about my friend. She also invited me to the pub for a catch up last night and then told me at the last minute that an old friend was coming instead and bumped me! I'm guessing she's a bit all over the place and will 'let her off', but couldn't help feeling a little hurt.

Gruffalo trail was short but worth seeing. Both boys have said it was the highlight of their weekend (over the fab adventure playground nearby). In fact, DS2 took a liking to the zip wire at the adventure playground and went on it approximately 30-50 times in a 2 hour period. He insisted quite quickly that I couldn't hold him so I ended up leaping off the tower at the end and running alongside him each time. I ended up covered in mud and totally knackered. I am not designed for running either SB and can barely walk today!! It wasn't helped by running with him on my shoulders back to the car through a sudden rain storm and then a 30 minute shoulder ride through Puzzlewood on Sunday just to ensure I was properly done in!! I would definitely recommend a weekend in the Forest of Dean to anyone localish. The Premier Inn at Ross on Wye was fantastic - newly refurbed and spotless at £77 for a family room.

For any of you who didn't see my post on FB, DS2 gave us a bit of a fright in the night when we realised he was not on his mattress and nowhere to be seen. In fact, he had rolled or crawled under the double bed, but right into the middle so he could not be reached or seen by DH looking for him at 1a.m!! He was dragged out by the ankles in his sleep in the end. At 4a.m. I woke and found him gone again. This time, he was off the top end of the mattress and lying under a table!! DS1 also rolled off his mattress, telling us a 1a.m. he'd lost the duvet (more like the bed!!) I'm destined never to get good sleep with my crazy boys and I blame DH entirely!! Thank goodness I'd gone for mattresses on the floor due to lack of bedguards. Think they'll have guards at home until they leave home (and definitely no bunkbeds!!)

survival I am so glad you mentioned about getting cross.

Hi - sorry I have been lurking a bit while my dad is here but haven't had time to post properly.

I am feeling a bit down as Alex has been very screamy and unsettled while my dad is here and I feel a bit like he's judging my parenting and that I am not up to scratch. I guess I have a lot of insecurities at the moment, and I am sorry to always moan and offload on you lot when a lot of you have it worse than me and have less support in real life as well.

Yesterday at the museum DS dropped the last bit of his ice lolly and of course screamed and carried on. I said that I could see how disappointing it was for a 2-y-o to lose the last bit of his lolly. My dad gave his hand a tap and said he would smack him. I said 'don't smack him' quite firmly and thought that was the end of it but my dad kept apologising after that. I know that his dad beat him and that he had nothing to do with parenting me but I worry so much about his opinion and pleasing him even though he was the absent parent.

Anyway today he has said he wants to go out all day on his own and it's his last day. I feel crushed but relieved as well.

I should be over all this shit.

Anyway, we visited the nice nursery yesterday where he starts in Sept and he loved it. He didn't want to leave - and they said we could take as long as we liked to settle - ie I could stay with him as much as needed but I'm not sure it will be so that's good.

He did snatch quite a bit while we were there and the other kids were that bit older that they didn't. I always tell him firmly but not shoutily not to snatch and I take the item and give it back to the original owner/holder when we are together. Not sure what else to do to stop snatching. What do you do?

He is getting a lot better at please and thank you.

He does keep saying the same thing over and over if not responded to that very second.

Apologies again for lack of responses to other people's posts - sorry about illnesses/lack of sleep.

that's what i do with snatching. I think what has helped is when I have stopped it happening to DD (other kids snatching, although people at playgroups are pretty good at that too). I am then able to explain that she doesn't like it when people snatch and it makes her a bit sad, so we don't want to make the other people sad etc.

I would have been livid if someone tapped DD's hand but the fact he was apologising was a good thing and I think acknowledges and respects how you want to raise him. Also that your opinion matters to him as well as vice versa.

I do get the not wantin to be disapproved by the same people who you don't want emulate regarding parentin thing too. So can't offer advice but I'm sure it happens to loads of people. Of course we want people, especially those we care about, to say I think you are doing a grand job. I think that's one of the issues for DH with his parents, it's always criticism and feels like the DCs good behaviour is in spite of us. I know they don't mean to, but it is very easy to forget to say things, especially for older people I think.

Bc you sound like you're doing absolutely fine wrt DS. I think toddlers often act up if they've got more of an audience - and if they can sense a certain tension between two adults, it's amazing how adept they can be at manipulating that (having observed DD when both DH and I are present, for example...) Plus we all have good days and bad days, so probably just bad luck that your DS is being more tricky at this time. Of course you want your dad to be impressed at the job you're doing, even if you're doing it differently to how he would - that's only natural. I expect he'll go back to Italy and tell everyone proudly just how lovely a mum you are!!

Nursery sounds good! I think with toy snatching you just keep doing what you're doing and eventually they'll get the message. I reckon it's a phase many toddlers go through as they're developing their social skills. DD does the repeating thing too, it can get pretty irritating, huh?!

And don't worry about offloading - that's what we're here for! I'm sure you'll be hugely sympathetic when I'm a sleep-deprived snarl queen after the arrival of Jesus!

Speaking of which, I had my 34 week MW appointment today - Jesus is continuing to be obligingly text book, measuring spot on, nicely head down and engaged (at least for now..!)

bc my DS is playing up at the moment as my mum is over. If I tell him off he'll go to her to see if she'll be on his side but thankfully she backs me up. Try not to worry too much and rant/offload here as much as you need.

IC i can't believe you're nearly at the end of it! Great news that Jesus is planning his exit as it should be

Small people testing my patience today... It's been a long day. Dd2 just refused her pasta bake and demanded to have Gorgonzola straight from the pack. Gave her some and instead of spitting it out she ate it and asked for more! .

BG .

DS saw his plate of food (bulgur wheat) and decided that wasn't what he wanted and sat on the kitchen floor... And breath... Then after threating him to stop The Lady and The Tramp on tv, he went back to the table and ate all of it

IC I'm trying the honey and cinnamon remedy on DS and I. It didn't realise that raw honey was so expensive Just a quick question: do you warm up the honey to be able to mix it with the cinnamon?

survival bad action from your friend

Honey... reminds me I bought some Manuka 15+ honey a while back on the recommendation of a friend. Now, I think it would work better if I actually used the stuff!

Not sure about the cinnamon though. Wasn't there something in the news some time back about not letting children eat too much cinnamon because a component of it can cause liver damage (sorry, can only find German articles on that from 2006 - but since then I have not seen incredibly gorgeous Christmassy cinnamon star biscuits for sale)

Thanks and sorry again for being such a moaner.

Today went nicely - had a lazy morning and took children to one o'clock club this afternoon. Went out for a drink with dad this evening while mum/DH looked after kids (although apparently baby and mum both fell asleep the whole time we were out). Had a really nice time with dad - talked about stuff - his cancer and depression and giving up the restaurant but not in a maudlin way and we did have a laugh and connect propery - I had 2 glasses of Pimms and one prosecco think that is pretty much as much as one can drink while BFing a less-than-6-month-old and maybe I was a bit reckless drinking that much but I gave her a good feed before I left and she is still asleep now so hopefully won't have drunk for at least an hour before the next feed.

One of the things they did at one o'clock club was learn to make sandwiches - makes you realise how hard some simple things are for a 2 year old. He did quite well with spreading the butter. Adding fillings and especially trying to cut the sandwich in half were a bit more, um, experimental.

Thanks again for your support and advice. Life can be so bloody complicated.

DS was still a bit awake when we got back so me and papa got to read him a story and have hugs before he left (his plane is early tomorrow morning so tonight was goodbye). I shed a little tear after he went. He did unprompted say he was proud of me and liked DH a lot and thought the kids were great - and apologised again about the hand tapping/threat to smack.

IC I can't believe what a short time it is before the advent of young Jesus F. I am so excited for you. It is amazing to have another baby and brings back so many forgotten memories of the first one. SB - Hopefully around this time next year it will be you! Of course the feeling of being totally out of control and unable to keep a proper eye on both of them takes a bit of getting used to.

PA It's odd isn't it, the way we are programmed to seek approval even when we don't necessarily approve of or share the values of the seekee... Hopefully I won't make my children feel that way, I'll do my best not to anway.