Sept 2008 - no witty title as we're too busy dealing with stroppy 3 yr olds.

[MrsArchchancellorRidcully]

Hello all. Couldn't see a new thread so thought I'd do the honours. Sorry for rubbish title, I'm no good at witty! :)

DG that sounds genius! Did you hire the pool? I'm panicking about the number of people DS1 wants at his party! We've had the problem before of meeting friends at the pool, but with other members of the public there, we couldn't all fit in the baby pool and had to take it in turns sitting out til enough other people got out for the lifeguards to let all our party in.

DD was at two parties today and has another one tomorrow, tis the season.

Glad your DS2 had fun debi :)

Another party day here today. It was not a birthday one, but mini Olympic party (much like a school's sports day). We had lots of fun . E's birthday is in two weeks time and we are doing a little soft play party for her nursery friends. Her last nursery day before starting preschool is her birthday .

carrie yes we did hire the pool. Only £120 for an hour at our local council leisure centre. And they were all knackered afterwards and hungry for food and cake! Worth every penny!

Just back from Paralympics morning athletics, such a great experience!

to all those who mistakenly think I have this parenting thing all sewn up, tonight DD asked if she could pray for me. I was overwhelmed with joy and delight until she prayed "Dear Jesus please make mummy less angry and shouty coz its giving me a headache."
So there you have it...out of the mouth of babes
DS2 has been particularly trying today, and DH goes to america tomorrow. He's just come home with wine and curry though so its not all bad!

Carrie
:)
Sorry
:)

oh bless carrie. I could do with someone saying that prayer for me too TBH. Things are not great at home, the DC's won't listen to me for love nor money and I tend to hit shouting (and occasionally smacking) levels shortly after breakfast . I hope things get better as DD gets older, she is very hard work at the moment.

Oh good grief, are they 4?

Me too, meg, me too :(
I really try not to shout but after the 12th time of asking politely I just get angry...

yes! Same here. I read some of 'How to talk....' recently and that's exactly how I've always talked to them anyway (the book didn't have a magic solution, just common sense that works for some kids). Does it work for us, nope.

Mum has agreed they are really hard work and is looking into getting them assessed as school and nursery are very "wishy-washy" and "we'll wait and see" whenever I talk to them about their behaviour. It might just be high-spirits but if there is something that we need to understand a bit more then it will help all of us.

All I can say is if you are concerned and want to get them assessed, start the ball rolling now.
Seriously.
Now.
Get into school and nursery, ask to see Senco and ht and if they aren't forthcoming threaten to apply for sa. If your mum is willing get a private EP report.
That should make them less washy washy :)
I speak form experience here.
Early intervention is crucial. If your children need outside intervention (and I don't necessarily mean if they have sen/sn but just additional needs for a while) then you have to start the process ASAP. Start of the new term is the perfect time actually!

Oh I just shout at mine all day without guilt. Why? Coz the woman down the road has kids the exact same ages as my 3 and does the same and she's a primary head!!!!

Meglet, Badvoc talks sense.

Me?
Hmmm...doesn't seem likely!
:)
How are you star?
How is babystar?

Baby star rolled over last night at 11 weeks. He looks like Humpty Dumpty but with loads of hair.

I'm fine. My 3 yr battle for Ds is over for now but we had to sell our house and are currently forced to live in a location we can't actually afford, except for the fact that we have our house money now which is fast eroding.

But dd starts nursery in a week or so so perhaps I'll have time to skill-up on something to bring in an income, who knows.

Awww.....:)
I know what you mean re moving...we did the right thing but it's cost us dear:(
No savings...no extra money (ha! What's that?)
It's all worth it though.
I need to re train too but sadly I have no discernible talents or skills!! :)
Is watching re runs of glee whilst eating nutella off a spoon considered a skill??....:)

badvoc yes, mum is going to pay. She's got her head around what is involved. I had a brief chat with the head at the end of last time and she was stunned, she said that if every child was like my DS they would have nothing to worry about. But she doesn't have the meltdowns and chaos I get once school is done for the day.

And DD, well, nursery are aware she is a wonderful little handful but their SENCO said they don't like to assess too early. We are well onto the sensory issues with clothes with her, very bright and lack of eye contact, like her mum then . My mum and sister are sitting on the sidelines watching history repeat itself and mum is adamant that she isn't going to be palmed off like she was with me.

Carrie

good luck Meglet

Back to school tomorrow, anyway off to finish DD1's homework

That's so great meg. Your mum sounds ace :)
I let myself be palmed off wrt ds1 at his old school. His new school think I am a militant sen nightmare :)
Cackle
Another point...make sure the EP you see is worth it. Mine was crapola. A long waiting list is a good sign!
Trouble is with your ds and mine because they aren't throwing chairs and taking bites out of other children they are deemed "ok" I.e. they don't cause the teachers problems.....nurseries are notorious for not identifying sens.
There seems to be a movement inside most LAs to routinely not assess til ks3....which is of course 4 years too late!
Don't get me started.........:)

Badvoc as a secondary teacher I have to say it's so much easier for us if a child has been assessed properly before they get to us!
Meglet that's so good that your mum is supportive and on your side. I think a lot of grandparents would just decide that they're naughty. I does sound like there is something else going on- like you say they are very bright and it's clear this is not about them not knowing how to behave well.

Sorry Carrie but I laughed a lot at that!

I am sure it is debi, but how often does that happen?
I realise my view is somewhat coloured by my experiences but ime and in the 2 LAs I have death with sen/sn is swept under the carpet til ks3.
By that time and for a lot of kids it's too late.
I often wonder about all the kids that are neet and if they have undx sen/sn....

Debi, it took a 3 year battle, private assessments and therapy costing our house and a move to a different LA to get our ds' needs properly assessed and recognised whilst ensuring he didn't deteriorate in the meantime.

Primary schools are not interested in identifying and supporting SEN as it is detrimental to their resources UNLESS the child has at that point deteriorated to the extent that they cost more resources NOT to identify/support. And even then the support offered is whatever is needed to help the teacher 'manage' the child NOT educate them.

Yep.
What star said.
It's a disgrace.

debi that's exactly what my mum was saying about getting the DC's assessed before secondary age. She spent years speaking to my school / HV (or whatever they had in my day) saying she was concerned about me as I was impossible to handle and was palmed off with "oh, she's bright... she'll be fine...." etc. And once I was a hormonal teenager it all went pear-shaped . Looking back I'm textbook ASD, but they just dealt with me with Anti-depressants and counselling and didn't get to the root of the 'problem'.

badvoc that's so true about the DC's not being 'flagged' up as they don't cause the school or nursery problems, they just don't see what I have to deal with. Nusery know how to deal with DD as they have plenty of resources so she doesn't flare up there so much, but they have acknowledged she is hard work. DS meanwhile is ok at school but often lashes out at me when I pick him up. I will definately remember to look for a busy EP!

Yeah...cos kids with sn/sen can't possibly be bright can they!?
Aarrghhhh.......
I am sure that ds1s issues have been ignored for so long because he is so well behaved...as you say they flare up at home...they control themselves all day at school and have these amazing and clever coping strategies but when they get home...I.e. when they feel safe their anger and frustrations comes out.
Well, that's what I think anyway......:)

I keep losing you all. Anyway happy birthday to those who I've missed and i will catch up later

Sorry to hear about your DH's grandfather Debi

Glad you have all had a lovely summer holiday, ours passed pretty well. Robyn asked on her first day off when was we going on our summer holiday? She asked most days until we went away on the 24th Aug. Then when we were there she kept asking if we could go home to our proper home. She is not a holiday person I fear, I think a staycation will be needed next year.

Anyway we had a lovely time on Hayling Island, with very limited signal and internet. Brilliant weather whilst it poured it down at home We walked loads, went to some very stony beaches, the wedding was lovely and all 4 behaved brilliantly. Lucy zonked out in my dsis's hotel room at about 6pm and ny 9pm Robyn was whingy and tired so we reluctantly returned back to the caravan.
Isle of Wight was nice, although rainy and I even managed the dreaded ferry, and narrowly averted a disaster when I realised I hadn't put the handbrake on and put it on just as the ferry started moving DP took the mick as he knows I am terrified of boats and half way across when we passed another ferry Robyn screamed out we're gonna crash. I could of died as loads of people turned to look.

Kids are back at nursery/school/college and we are finally getting back to normal. I go in one day next week then start on the 17th. Slightly nervous and excited and now hoping I will manage to keep up.

Meglet If you are worried about the dc's then like Badvoc says get them assessed as soon as possible. The first creche/nursery DS went to dismissed our autism fears. They said he was nothing like autistic kids they had worked with He is severely autistic. The leisure centre creche otoh did loads of observations on him and adapted policies to have him there and helped us get him into a special needs nursery. 11 years later and he is still severly autistic but the early intervention has helped him communicate and secure a school place until he turns 19, he is happy most of the time and loves the structure of his school. What to do in 6 years when he leaves is another story but at least he is in the best place for us to find out what is available(David Cameron permitting)