Dec 08 Mums - happy new year, happy new thread and soon some happy new babies!

[sybilfaulty]

Happy new year!

Sorry for the rubbish title but wanted to get the new thread underway. Let's close the door on some of the sad events of 2011 and look forward to a better year in 2012.

arti I forgot - your asked about the house... well viewings are picking up - we've had 4 in 2 weeks, and have another one tomorrow. They are all quite positive - no actual negative feedback, but no offers either! One is very keen but is still looking to compare it with others. The one coming tomorrow has sold their house already...fingers crossed! I keep telling myself, it only takes 1 person to want it...

G'day, sawasdee ka, etc etc. Sorry have taken so long to get on. We flew in Tuesday morning but have been battling jetlag and the overwhelming feeling that we would rather jet off again to warmer climes, than deal with this cold and reality in general. The boys have sorted their heads out quicker than we have, though DS2 keeps asking why we live here and not the warm place where the sun shines. A bunch of my girlfriends here have organised a trip to Amsterdam next weekend so that will cheer me up.

I will endeavour to review our trip in a nutshell but must be brief as need to sort the boys tea, and DH & I are going out to meet an old friend of mine who lives in Melbourne but is in the Hague for one night only.

Australia was great had a nice time catching up with family and friends and Christmas turned out to be really nice. Met my SIL, who is ok bit up herself in a Sydney kind of way (only Rubes will understand that). The highlight was spending time with my beautiful and incredibly talented nieces and also a quick visit with my ex SIL. It was the first time we had seen each other since the break up but found that we are just as close despite my brothers mess up. The boys loved seeing their uncles aunts, cousins and grandparents and there are a few bizarre in laws stories (and dodgy friends husbands tales) but can't recall them all now. The boys got to see lots of wildlife and generally we all enjoyed ourselves. We can definitely see ourselves back there one day.

Asia was WONDERFUL. Malaysia had such lovely food and amazing sights for the boys. The wedding was not what DH & I are into, it was a big Chinese affair, but it was beautiful as far as the actual marriage bit went and DS1 was gorgeous as the ring bearer. Both boys where a hit amongst the guests, and the next morning DS1 spent 1.5 hours chatting to the brides friends, a bunch of high powered marketing and PR ladies, in the hotel bar. They loved him.

Thailand, our last stop, was by far the best. We spent a week at Railay near krabi. It's a little resort area on a peninsula which has no roads and can only be accessed by boat. It has changed loads since we were there 10 years ago but is still gorgeous. It's a rock climbing mecca which is why we went there originally and DH & DS1 had a great time climbing. We also went on a little elephant trek, went snorkling, fed monkeys and spent a day on a yacht, chilling out, rock climbing on sea cliffs and snorkling. Of course the best bit was eating copious amounts of Thai food. Yum.

Right I really should go we haven't managed to stay up beyond 8pm this week and I need to stay out with this friend tonight. Plus DS2 gets a bit grizzly as the evening wears on so need to feed him early and get him into bed.

Just quickly, Hooray for Urbane, loved the birth story. We are in London for the Olympics so would love a catch up.

Indith that is great you are going to do MW. Good for you.

Trace, we still don't have DS2 always sleeping through and sleep in various bed arrangements.

JJ your friend is quite annoying. I'm of the live and let live school of reasoning and find people who dis other peoples choices tres annoying. Esp those who choose to ruin other peoples marriages.

Jb that's a serious pair of Norks you've got there my love.

Lady sorry about the ribs. Trip sounded good though. Possibly because of her previous allergic reactions they have decided to do the mmr somewhere which is close to medical attention. Egg white isn't an issue so I'm not sure why they used that as a rationale but it will just mean having the vaccs in hospital then waiting around for a bit just to be sure she doesn't have a reaction. A consultant I worked with did the anaphylaxis risk kids and only once had a reaction from an asthmatic who just needed a bit of ventolin.

Right gotta go.

All week with heavy cold - not ideal with dh away. So drained. Hi Jolly new toddler group was good. Quite busy though and I thought it'd be the opposite, but very organised and only £1 / family. I cannot believe you are at nursery settling and back to work stage already!
He's been in Witney Lady on a course all week - huge 12-13 hour days with no phone signal, so it's been skype and BB messenger randomly. Sorry about the ribs, but glad you had a nice time. Hope all the med probs are sorted soon. Getting together would be good for sure - so much to catch up on! Yes I'm not working until March 1st at this point, as I took Feb off, but possibly might pick up 3 days at end of this month - not terribly tempted though.
Urbs nice story (being so quick!) I'm sure the hearing thing will be fine - perhaps just the cold. DD had trouble in one ear with hers but they said it was just having tiny ears and the thing didn't fit right DB arrives in about a month - right at half term I've just discovered. Just a few days, then Spain, then back a few that's it.
Arti New house does feel like home yes, although upstairs needs more furniture and feels a little clinical - but still not sorted properly - that said, my idea of sorted is slightly reflective of my ocd tendencies! Does that make sense? We are renting with intention of buying, so signed a lease with no break to give us time to sort finances and DH to get through next exams - (altho he's talking again of postponing them) Not sure if it will involve selling our flat, though but would rather not. You sound really busy
Vag trip sounded nice I do know what you mean about some Sydney types yes! Are your plans still to move back soon then?
Beans I worry like you do about things like that, but honestly, I've heard of people out pissed calling 999 and making things up just to get a lift home. You had a genuine serious issue. Just glad she was fine. Right must go and order takeaway sort dinner

nutjob

Hello all no time will be back tom.

Nutjob, JJ yes I read that article today in the ahem daily mail .

Bedtime.

Oh good lord. I had no idea they'd done that Or rather that she had. It's tosh btw, he told everyone that the baby was a boy after about 6 weeks.

JJ I read about that women ages ago and thought well power to you at the time. But after reading half the article you link to (couldn't go on my Saturday is too precious to me) I'm nauseated by what a horrid, judgmental women she is. Goodness everyone knows motherhood is hard enough without all the judgement we get, but this women is worse than anyone I have ever come across on that count. Non of my mums of girls friends put their daughters in restrictive clothing, and their daughters run around and play wiry dolls. What on earth is wrong with girls being feminine! It doesn't have to be pink but it can be caring and nurturing. This women has some serious issues. I met a women recently who had done her Phd on identity and we were quizzing her on how we help our children have an identity with a country when they don't live where their parents come from, or where they were born. This lady who was an extremely intelligent, open minded and engaging lady said that the first and foremost important identity for children was their gender!

Sorry I waffled a bit there didn't I. I must admit to smirking when she mentioned the previous relationship with a man with 3 kids....she didn't say what his wife thought of that.

Oh dear I broke the thread with my ranting.

I'm just sailing in quickly on a sea of vomit... DD2 has decided to spend all day vomiting and coughing - marvelous timing as I'm meant to be back at work on Monday. Hideously upleasant and awful for her poor thing. DH has been at the football all afternoon and I've suggested (insisted ) he should come back and help with the clear up and next round of projectile vomit.

JJ Really funny!

arti Very jealous of the trip to Strasbourg. We went prechildren on the train and LOVED it. We bought a poster which is the cathedral square with a festive market taking place. It takes pride of place in our dining room.

lady Hope the ribs turned out to be bruised rather than broken.

vag Welcome back! We have missed you. Your trip sounds fantastic. I bet your boys had such an amazing time. They are a good age for a trip like that. They'll always remember it.

I overheard a really amusing conversation today. I popped into town quickly for a few bits this morning and two women were browsing the boys rail and moaning about the lack of choice. I then heard one say "of course these wouldn't fit x he is very tall for his age, can read his own name, can count to twenty, builds a tower of eight bricks and is very proficient on his scooter". The other woman was just nodding along. I was very amused. I can't imagine reeling off a list of my child's achievements randomly mid-conversation!

Fingers crossed we have no more sick tonight. There are no clean gro-bags! I'm willing the washing machine to get a move on.

Welcome back Vaj, your trip really sounds amazing . Please share the IL tales when you get chance, to amuse us!

And talking of amusing tales, Jump that nut job is actually the nuttiest nut job ever! What is her DPs stance on the gender neutral thing, given that I assume he landed his previous children with the burden of everyone knowing their gender?!

Welcome back too to LadyT Oslo sounds fab, so much fun. Sorry about the ribs, DH cracked one of his 3 Christmases ago and was in agony, so I feel for you. Although I trumped him on the needing sympathy front by giving birth a week after his fall, and he wasn't allowed to moan anymore about them after that

Trace how are you feeling on the new meds? How soon can you expect to feel different, mods wise? I hope the headaches and tiredness side effects pass quickly, it sounds draining. I love 'pant moustache' , never heard it before but will try my best to use it in future!

Wow Indith at midwifery, I am very impressed. Assuming you get the uni place, when would you start studying? Good luck with the interview and keeping baby where it belongs until after the 9th.

Beans I'm glad your Dad's birthday was so enjoyable for you all, despite the circumstances. I saw your picture and thought it was lovely. And I agree with all of the others, that you did the right thing calling NHS direct - it goes without saying that struggling to breathe is definitely something that needs checking out

How is the vomit today Jolly? I hope there is less of it now, and the rest of you don't catch the bug either. Good luck at work tomorrow! That conversation was funny, I wonder what they'd make of DD, being small for her age? Clearly an indication that she will never amount to anything in her life

How was the party AAA? And who did you dress up as in the end? David Attenbrough sounds a brill choice! I went to a 'P' themed party last year (for a friend who's name begins with P) as Mrs Pontipine, but DH wouldn't be Mr Pontipine, so went as Poirot instead. There was also a punk, Postman Pat, a pirate, a pumpkin, a parrot, the Phantom of the Opera, some Power Rangers, a couple of pensioners etc etc. A lot of fun!

Great that B is settling at nursery so well Spot, although when DD settled I remember feeling a bit put out at she so happily fitted in somewhere without me

Can I join the lack of sleep gang, and blame the in utero one? (definitely not DDs fault, as she's staying at my parents til Monday as it is DHs Grans funeral then) yesterday I was wide awake at 6, shattered last night but brain buzzing so it was well gone 2am when I finally stopped clock watching, and then again awake at 6 this morning. Grrr. Oh well, at least with DD away, I can have a nap this afternoon. zzzzz

Found you all and it's still January! Marking my place while I read back. I could be some time...

Urbs what a gorgeous birth story! Almost makes me want to do it all again... Didn't realise you were a hypnobirther but you make a brilliant advert for it :) How is the sling going - they really are wonderful if the baby likes it in there all snuggly and cosy

Kayz how exciting to have wedding date booked Can't wait to hear all about it, I love a good wedding story!

Invis - top work there on teenage babysitters! We've had a couple of grans from Sitters, but really want to find someone local who will be around for a while who can get to know the girls and maybe even do bedtimes...

beans, your pic of your dad was just lovely, he looked so happy to have his girls around him :) Sorry about crappy sellers, definitely time to play hardball, it was only when we threatened to back out if they hadn't got the paperwork sorted within 3 days that they finally pulled fingers out. Mind you, the amount of crap we've been left with I sometimes wish they hadn't Never feel bad about calling ambulance for a child who can't breathe properly. That's what they're for, it's an emergency. V glad she is better now.

Trace hope the headaches are gone and the new medication is helping even if it does make you sleepy. Have failed to keep in the house loop, you had been looking at some really gorgeous places - any decisions made?

Indith - goodness, the sleep situation with dd sounds a bit scary. Still as you say it would be good if they can confirm that there's not a medical issue, at least if it's "just" crap sleep then there's the hope that she'll grow out of it rather than have an ongoing medical problem to deal with. S's sleep definitely got better after she started at nursery, and thinking about it E is now regularly doing 7.30 or 8ish until (almost exactly) 2.30 when she will burble loudly enough to wake me but go back to sleep if I play the sleepy music, then wake at about 5.45 for milk. Nursery definitely tires them out a lot!

Jolly Norktastic! Yowza.

Lady hope your ribs feel better. If you will have a glamorous globetrotting lifetyle... Sounds like a fab trip. Sending get better vibes to the whole household. How is the allergy situation with DD2 - do you have to avoid tons of things or is there any chance to gradually bring things back in and see if she tolerates them?

AAA fancy dress is brilliant! I gather from FB that the party was a good one...! I love those letter themed ones, we went to a great "B" one where there were several Bob the Builders, a great Bond, and DH alas went as a worryingly convincing Boris Johnson !!!

Vag your trip sounds sooo wonderful. Am very of it all.

So my freaking nutjob person I know is now a massive internet 'thing'. And all because it's about her her her. No mention, you'll notice, of the getting married thing, just that she's a 'radical feminist'. (interestingly she also insists that she and DP are evangelical atheists - odd how I seem to recall receiving communion behind him recently... ). Anyway. She's just so bloody full of herself, it's not about bringing up a child happily but about 'teaching people a lesson'. FGS, what's wrong with just modelling functional family life in which mum and dad are equals and kids can do whatever they like without concern about it being boy or girl stuff? I've never said to S "You can't do X/Y/Z, it's a boy thing", but don't feel the need to share this with the national press. We know that you can't trust journalists to edit fairly, but a good summing up of the situation comes from DH's analysis of the article as in our local paper: she says "I" 34 times, "He" (ie DP) twice, and "We" (ie she and DP as a parental unit) once only.

Alas we see her a great deal as the main leisure activity that DH and I enjoy (don't want to out us, but you all know what we like to do swingers ) is one that she does a lot of organising of events. So we can either go with our conscience and just avoid them for fear of busting bloodvessels at her hypocrisy, but not get to do much of the thing we love, or just carry on but have to be the hypocrites ourselves.

Re MW study it would be March 2013 if I get in.

Jolly how huge are your norks? Care to share the love a little? Hope the vomit is over in your house.

LadyT sounds like it was a great trip even with the cracked ribs. Hope all healing well and dp is getting better too.

Urbane don't stress too much about the hearing test. They never actually managed it on dd though I dragged her to the hospital several times. They jsut booked her in fro a distraction test around 9 months instead with lots of reassurance that if I thought there were problems earlier to let them know. We have a huge bed too, it is definitely the way to go, ours often gets filled! I expect it will be filled more often after the baby arrives too as everyone needs more reassurance and a shar of the cuddles. Something lovely about snuggling iin bed with a baby latched on and a bigger one snuggled up to your back :).

Arti the party sounds great!

Spot welcome to the no sleep club.

Vag the trip sounds amazing, such an experience for the boys too.

ZJ what is it with pregnancy insomnia? Does the baby not understand we need to sleep now before it is born? Flipping inconsiderate things.

JJ I just don't understand the nutjob. It all seems to strange. If you are pushing your child away from stereotypical toys for their gender then that is just the same as pushing them towards them, it isn't allowing your child any fluidity or free choice at all. Anyway, gender is important. My gender is not all of who I am and it does not define my abilities but it is still a huge part of who I am. I am a woman. I bear children. I have the ability to feed those children. That is actually very powerful stuff. Why deny your child the right to be proud of who he is within his gender? You can do that without his having to be a manly man or without a girl having to be a little pink princess. Anyway, having one of each gender I have a boy who loves pink, will merrily wear a tutu but also adores play fighting, kicking balls around and is aking to joint he rugby club. I have a girl who likes to potter around taking care of teddies and dolls and playing at being the teacher. She says she loves the colour blue best of all and can often be found rolling in the mud in the park playing football with her brother. I think they key is raising children to be confident in their identity. A person who is confident and sure of who they are will know that they can do anything regardless of gender.

The clothing thing definitely confuses me though! How on earth are tights more restrictive thatn trousers? Dd really doesn't like trousers very much, I'd like that woman to see her climbing a tree in her tights and dress and tell me it holds her back! Patterns etc too, why is it ok for the gender neutral child to wear lots of pink and fairy things like a stereotypical girl but not anything that is stereotypical boy? That isn't gender neutral! FFS if you are going to let your child dress as a fairy why won't you let them dress as a pirate?

I've ranted before about the blue toy/pink toy thing and the lack of gender neutral colours in toys etc does piss me off but what that woman is doing is not gender neutral if she is actually forbidding anything "boy" and pushing towards the pink.

Indith I am going to get a tshirt made that says this on the front!

"A person who is confident and sure of who they are will know that they can do anything regardless of gender"

:)

hola all
Just posting in the calm before the storm...may only have a few minutes!
AAA I love Strasbourg. I spent 6 months there as part of my degree and really loved the city. I so fancy going back there one day but my rubbishness about travelling with the LOs will probably mean it'll be when they leave home!
JJ that article made me feel quite cross and also very sorry for the poor boy. How will he feel when he's older and he sees the news articles that show how his mother used him as a social statement/ experiment? She seems so concerned that people don't judge her child, yet seemed unaware that she was soooooooo judgemental about everyone else! It made me feel very defensive of my girls. I feel she is setting him up to be a target for bullies and depriving him of a huge part of his identity. I felt when reading the article that she is spending so much energy ranting about how to raise him perfectly, that she is focusing on that rather than on her own son, and therefore missing out on her relationship with him. It made me very sad
vag it's great to have you back. Sounds like you had an amazing time. We've missed you.
WG has been quiet again - is all ok? And deids - are you there?
JJ the house situation is that we're getting plenty of viewings but nothing comin from them yet...although the one who came on Sat may come in with a low offer - according to the agent. The one have our eye on is this one, which would allow us some breathing room on our asking price. It's just frustrating having to wait...
Right must start making tea.
Out at choir tonight but hopefuly I'll be back tomorrow evening.
xxx

Hello all,

I have to unload and be a little self pitying.

Sunday night L starts vomiting too so half the night is spent changing beds and settling sickly children. As it was my first day back at work yesterday DH arranged for his parents to come up because obviously they couldn't go to nursery. I rang a few times during the day and came home early to take J to the GP.

As soon as I got back it was clear J was really poorly. Boiling hot and lethargic. The GP sent us through to the children's ward by which time she was really floppy and had a rash. All was ok, they let us go home at 9 when her temp had reduced a bit and she'd had a couple of good bfs. The staff were wonderful.

I feel so guilty for going to work. I'd have noticed she was much worse sooner. I'm not blaming the in laws at all. I just mean I know her best.

Not gone in today and she is sleeping on me now. Realised a few minutes ago L had been sick in her bed and not mentioned it when she woke up. That has soaked into the mattress and duvet nicely.

Jolly, please don't be too hard on yourself. I hope J and L recover quickly. Shame about the mattress and duvet.

Jolly, we have all made what we feel in hindsight was the wrong call with our kids and their health. I sent DD1 to school for a week with pneumonia before I realised she was struggling to breathe. Don't beat yourself up lovely. First day back and all that - you did what you thought was right. Is she on the mend today?

Hope you are all at home having a quiet day and getting better. Am at home trying to work but not getting through much, alas.

Jolly, my lovely, you weren't to know. Please don't beat yourself up about it. Thinking of you and the sicklies. Are you ok?

Trace - still loving that pad.

We are exchanging on our new gaff tomorrow, with a completion of 23rd March. About bloody time too, frankly! But WHOOP WHOOP! It's jolly exciting! Am off to have a look at potential nursery/pre-school for DD1 on 8th Feb and finding childminder for DD2 in the village. Fingers crossed! Am back at work fully now and really enjoying it. Like my boss so much.

I won't bore on too long, but Lady - hope your ribs are bearing up and Pubes, am glad the new pad feels like home!

Had a removal quote this afternoon, find out price later. Need to get a few more in as well. It's all go. EEK!

Much love to you all, as always.

xx

Jolly don't beat youself up, you had no way of knowing she would get so poorly, lets face it 99% of the time they are bouncing around 5 mins after you make a GP appointment! You left her in the care of people who know and love her, you've not let her down at all. Those viral rashes they can get aren't half scary though! ds scared the life out of us with one when he was a baby as it wouldn't completely blanche! Then he started getting it every tiem he had a sniffle and we got a bit more complacent .

Hope you're feeling a bit better jolly. If its any consolation i did something similar - only just back at work so left slightly sick ds only for him to be rushed into hospital as he started throwing up blood (had grazed throat from violent retching as opposed to anything worse). Felt so bad. As everyone has said though, you weren't to know, left her with proper care and when she was worse you were there, spotted it and the right thing. Awful experience for you though. I swear there is nothing as ageing as having a child in hospital. Much love to you and to J.

Beans that is great news about the house, and fingers crossed for you too trace on that front. Ds has decided that our house isnt big enough - in particular the kitchen is rubbish - and yesterday he packed a bag to go and live with his friend

Am tucked up in bed as not feeling too sunny today. Went to coffee morning at school today though which was lovely - sort of arsing about chatting I never get to do with other mums when I'm at work.

AAA I hope Strasbourg is going ok - party sounded great. Am v impressed by your DH doing the G address and that you can still pull off 80s Madonna. If I attempted people would be wondering why I found streetwalkers so heroic.

Lady hope the ribs are better and that lurgies abating.

Meant to say indith you are absolutely right about loveliness of all being cuddled up together. Those still moments are pretty much a definition of happy

Also jj I agree with trace - I think sad for that little boy and woman bonkers and illogical narcissist. I used to put ds in tights as they are massively practical at keeping little legs warm in the winter so meh.

Thanks so much for your lovely words. I felt so awful at the hospital not knowing all the answers to 'how many wet nappies has she had today?' etc. Stupid really as you have all said, I couldn't have known but hasn't stopped the awful guilt. She is much better than she was yesterday albeit still really under the weather and vomiting up everything except water, bm and nibbles of toast. She is tolerating calpol and brufen so that is helping her temp. Poor little thing is so miserable though. L has eaten nothing but one slice of toast.

J crying....