Dec 08 Mums - happy new year, happy new thread and soon some happy new babies!

[sybilfaulty]

Happy new year!

Sorry for the rubbish title but wanted to get the new thread underway. Let's close the door on some of the sad events of 2011 and look forward to a better year in 2012.

Oh Spot, my goodness. That is absolutely awful. Wasn't she in the JR? A friend of mine lost her 14 month old daughter a few years ago and CBC were of tremendous help to her (still are, actually) - a bit later on, maybe mention them to her. here I cannot imagine how wretched she must be feeling.

Yes, I still miss London v much and always will, but it helps that I like my village and feel a bit more part of things (as much as I am going to like any village). I'm sorry you and DP are having a shit time where you are. If you and he genuinely feel like that, prob best just to cut your losses and move back, I reckon. No shame in that! You've made an honest go of it, after all.

Very glad to hear all went to plan, Indith! I do love these stories. Kayz - you're up next!

I couldn't come back yesterday to do my catch up as I was just too busy with MIL and her DH here (they left at lunchtime today) but they did babysit for us so we could have a night out. We were supposed to be going to see The Artist but it was sold out and all we could get tickets for was a film about a teenage party getting out of control Given that I get to go to the pictures about twice a year it was a bit of a shame but we still had a nice night and a lovely Thai meal afterwards.

Welcome back, Vag. I am glad you had a lovely hol. Mansfield Pk - I find it the least enjoyable J.A. cos I find Fanny such a wetty. (Hmm, not a great turn of phrase there). I reckon I could come in when you're over. We could have our London evening meet up then, what a capital idea.

I am off to Shropshire with DP and the girls this weekend. Some friends have a house there and we go a couple of times a year, although we haven't been since DD2 was weeny. Am really looking forward to that.

And the following weekend is my next trip, to Bremen. I have totally cocked up because I will be away for Mothering Sunday.

Right, I need to look back and see what else I needed to respond to...

Oh spot that is just awful . Maybe she'd appreciate a parcel for her DD? It'd be something practical you could do from far away. A few DVDs, a book or two, sticker book. Something to do with her where they can just cuddle up and stay sat down. Entertaining a toddler with an infected cs wound is going to be tough.

Sorry to hear you haven't settled in the village. Maybe once summer comes around it might be easier to meet people and feel part of things. You hardly see a soul with dark nights.

ladyT Very jealous of your trip to Shropshire. I LOVE it there.

DD1 is going through a challenging phase of going up to strangers and tickling them . I keep explaining that you can't go around tickling people you don't know. People are surprisingly accomodating. I appologised to a lady today who said, 'that'd alright dear, I haven't been tickled today'.

Jolly that is lovely! I think your DD is performing a great service to the community.
i know about settling in - but DH threatened tonight to storm the am-dram society with a very large cravat, announcing that "things are going to change, dahlings". Better book by return ticket to London pronto.

Had to pick B up early from nursery because he'd been crying all day and "wasn't himself". Seemed fine until an hour ago, when he vomited copiously down my cleavage, such as it is.

Lady, what was the film called? I'm sorry but I do have to suppress a small snigger at the idea that you went to see the artist and ended up in some teen rot-com. I would have done exactly the same!

Project X It was an 18. Largely because it had multiple teens with their bras off. It was cack. With bells on.

Didn't come back for my catch up as got waylaid AGAIN, more soon.

Jolly, that sounds rather sweet.

I like your DP's style, Spot.

Spot, I think this might be my Aussie naivity, but I actually have this idea that he wouldn't really stick out if he did, that all English villagy dramatic groups are made up of exceptionally talented but OTT drama types. A bit like all american black people are good basketball players, and Spanish people can salsa. Very stereotypical (& possibly racist) but there you go.

Spot I think you should be honest with your sister and tell her you don't known what to say but offer to maybe meet up with the boys so her little girl can have a play with them and maybe even offer to just not talk about it, but have a cuppa.

Jolly that is so sweet, what that lady said, but possibly not helpful as now ds1 will feel she is required to tickle the sad and untickled in our society.

Is it true that Kayz is the only left to pop? Oh no, no one else to look forward to. Please someone else needs to sort that out.

Epic night of sick. Both Dcs projectile vomming, pooing themselves and now both have temps of +39. Off to docs now. I thought the lurg season was finished .

I like the idea of someone tickling the sad and untickled. Sounds like part of DC's Big Society plan. It would be a purely voluntary position, of course...

Spot - So sorry to hear about your sister.

I hope your two recover v soon.

Hello all! Sorry for a me-post, I need to catch up and will do so later but can I just ask a bit of advice on baby sleep? DD2 is now nearly 5 months and utterly horrdendous, wakes an average of 10-15 times a night. She's not hungry - sometimes even gets quite annoyed at my attempts to feed her back to sleep - at least until the early hours, but just wakes CONSTANTLY. She's become a bit of a dummy addict so that's obviously one issue (far too small to find it for herself) - but what should we do? I am zombified with lack of sleep adn feel we need to do something but it's rather early for any kind of sleep training is it not?

Any advice hugely appreciated. She obviously struggles with self-settling adn to make it harder refuses mostly to be fed to sleep even at bedtime, she always starts wriggling adn writhing away from me, pop her in cot with dummy and she's fine but obviously that's causing problems

AGHHHH HELP!

Have you read the no cry sleep solution? great bit in there on gently removing the dummy. something like that probably your best starting point then once you've kicked the dummy you can see what you are left with.

Ds2 is made of velcro. does not like to be put down at all awake or asleep and at night only sleeps with nipple inserted but of course drops off and wakes 2 seconds later then won't latch because doesn't want milk just wants to suck on nipple but i won't let him because i have no desire to have soreer nipples. he is still so brand new though so i'll forgive him, it will all change soon enough.

I confess I did cold turkey on the dummy as DD2 was up similar amount of times when it dropped out of her mouth. Did it at 4 months. It was 3 nights of misery of ignoring her while she screamed, Kiwi, but it worked. It sounds harsh, but I was at my wits end and being a rubbish mum to DD1 and so shouty and scary. I knew DD2 couldn't hurt herself in her cot, so I left her. It was miserable, but I don't regret it. Earplugs. She did scratch her face, which mortified me, but she got there in the end.

It still took her til 15 months to sleep through, but at least I was only up 2 or 3 times a night from then. At 15 months I decided not to leap out of bed whenever she cried and she surprised me by almost immediately sleeping through the night. Gutted. I should have done it a lot earlier.

I'm sorry you're so ragged and I appreciate my way of doing it is probably not the favoured way as can be a bit heart-wrenching. But it did work for me.

PS Clearly I didn't mess DD2 up at all. She is sitting on the floor with her hands up to her face, declaring "oh god, oh god, oh GOD". Brilliant.

We have whole sentences a lot now. She hands stuff over and goes "ereyougo" - all one word. Then "areyouareyoualright?", which I love.

Hi there threadies,

I'm on Gatwick Express heading home after Kosovo, my last post was on Gatwick Express heading out so you have sandwiched my week.

First things first, a big congrats to Indith on the beautifully named Arthur. The birth sounded great. I hope you ate enjoying the newborn snuggled despite the lack of sleep.

Secondly, I am really sorry to hear about your nephew Spot. And I am sorry to hear the new village doesn't feel like it's working out. AND I am sorry to hear of more lurgy. Lots of positive vibes heading to you, the pukey boys and your sister.

Kiwi, I sleep trained DD2 at 5.5 months and it worked a treat. She slept through after two nights. You will remember I had to hire Mrs Sleep to help because I was too scared but she just did a version of controlled crying. It was the best money I ever spent as once I was rested I was so much happier and had so much more patience with the DDs. I know that CC at 5ish months is not everyone's cup of tea but I agree with Beans that it can be in everyone's best interests if you can be comfortable with it.

Lady, it is lovely that you enjoy your new village. How are you and DP at the moment?

Jolly, I love the idea of the tickles. So sweet.

Veg, fingers crossed that your DH gets this new job and can have a better work life balance. I would live an eve meet-up at the end of the month.

Kosov o was great. I had an amazing week. It seems an odd thing to say about a country which is pretty damn visually bleak & has such a troubled recent history but it had a very youthful and energetic vibe. It was also fascinating to get to know a city so different from anywhere on the holiday trail. And my project was fascinating and my international colleagues were very engaging and I had to really fight for some stuff which isn't my style but I felt I grew-up this week and I am a teensy bit proud of myself. Can't wait to see the girls now, in a moment of crziness I have asked DH to keep them up so we can take them out to dinner to celebrate my return.

Spot - I am so sorry, I didn't send my sympathies to you and your sister. I am so so sorry. How bloody miserable for her. I wrote a whole post earlier with lots of catching up, then I deleted it as started ranting about DH. But I am thinking of you.

We move 2 weeks tomorrow. Shit!

Thanks guys. To be honest I'm not anti-CC as we did it with DD1 and it worked well - and she was a lot more fighty than DD2 and even she never cried for that long. My only worry was that I read that before about 6 months you can't be sure that they don't really need a feed during the night.. Though I guess j could try it until a certain point, say 3am given she was happily sleeping until then a couple of months ago for a good few weeks- and then feed her then..? Or is that mixed messages?? If I wait until 6 months I might go mad ..

I did go for a 3 mile tonight though anyway. [smug emiticon] Am on a not-so-much-baby weight-as-post-baby-cake-weight diet and have lost 8 lbs and regained some long lost fitness so far

Sorry I meant to say the same Spot - I'm so sorry for your sister and family. I don't suppose there is anything much anyone can say but I do know people who have gone through similar and found SANDS enormously supportive. I've just been helping a tiny bit with an event for them organised by the mum of DD1s best friend at nursery, her best mate from school lost a baby at 32 weeks, and she said they were a lifeline. I'm sure the hospital will have told your sister all about support groups etc though. Heartbreaking. I'm so sorry.

Kiwi you could always check if she wants a feed and then leave her after that. I was going to say it may be her teeth if she is wanting the dummy (possibly to knaw on) and maybe she is rejecting the boob because sucking hurts? You could give her some pulsatilla or even some of the gel stuff that Rubes used for her 2.

I think kiwi it depends on how desperate you are and whether you think DD2 is hungry in the night or not. You could try not feeding before 3am. Go in and shush her, pat her etc. Then only feed after 3 if you think she is hungry. I attached DD1's dummy to her comforter to help her get at it - and still haven't got rid of the damn thing . You might not want to listen to me! As she is waking so often it sounds like she just can't settle herself which isn't going to be helped (long term) with a dummy.

Hope you've got a sling indith!

spot Huge sympathy on the vomiting.

Glad you had a good week aub, enjoy your meal.

beans Moving house is so bloody stressful. Moan about DH all you like especially if you are doing all the packing!

I like the idea of DD1 tickling the needy .

We're shopping in Manchester tomorrow. DH is taking the girls to a museum and I'm shopping/coffeeing ON MY OWN! Hurrah!

Hello lovely ladies. I hate not coming on here for ages and then running on to post rubbish news. But its been quite a week here. MIL died unexpectedly last saturday, with a roller coaster finishing up with a funeral today. Poor DH spent most of the week wrestling with bureacracy and flying up an down the motorway. He and FIL have been remarkably OK given some of the chaos - low point was on Tuesday night when they came back to London only to discover that the ILs place up north had been broken into. DCs very sweet about it. DD upset that she couldn't go to the funeral. DS just clingy and I think a bit confused. I've been off with the DCs which has been fun, though trying to fend off work stuff. My mum has been a real rock.

Reading back - huge congratulations to Indith - what a wonderful birth story.

Spot - your poor SIL, awful heartbreaking stuff.

JB - the tickling tickled me - what a lovely tale! Have fun in Manc. Which museum are you headed for? We took the DCs to MOSI a few weeks ago which was a hit.

LadyT - I meant to say, what a creative way of celebrating your year. Mine is looming and I don't imagine I will summon up much energy to mark it.

Kiwi - no answers on the crying, but much sympathy. I remember DD being a bit like that. TBH we got to the end of our tether where nothing worked, even a try at feeding, so we left her to cry by default. I think we almost ended up annoying her if we picked her up/handled her too much. She was just a bit rubbish at settling (still is if truth be told)

Oh and Vaj - I did Mansfield Park as my A level text. I love Jane Austen as much as the next girl, but goodness Fanny Price is hard to love, she is so pathetic. Which pretty much dooms that book.

Aubs - Kosovo sounds fascinating, what an adventure

Invis, very sorry to hear about your MIL. Your poor DH. Does he have any siblings? And a burglary on top - just horrible for them .

Blimey, scarlet fever's quite something, isn't it? T awake every 20 minutes for the last two nights. Luckily vomming stopped on the B front. Had some friends from London who dared brave the lurg factory to come and visit today and I had an hour off to climb a local hill. Nice to get some fresh air.

Kiwi, i would try removing the dummy and just picking her up when she cried and holding her till she stops. I'm normally very wary of doing anything to interfere with what seems to be working (i.e dummy) but it doesn't sound like you could be any more awake anyway. I wish I hadn't persevered down the dummy route, but am a bit of a follower of the path of least resistance.

Aubs that is really nice to hear you had a bit of a personal triumph on your work trip. It sounds like you have a really interesting job, I can imagine you as a heroine in a good TV series. It's funny when you have these flashes of realising you're one of the grown ups!

Thanks for the further good wishes about my sister. She got home yesterday, which is a huge step forward. Now I goes a lot of the grieving begins. I'm sure she has been given lots of info about bereavement charities, i just know she's a very "stiff upper lip" type, and hope she doesn't shut down as a result.

Doing a 5km race today, wish me luck

Good luck vag DH running the silver stone half marathon today.

Invisible awful sad news thinking of you and yours.

Same to you spot. Can only reiterate SANDS is a brilliant organisation.

Lady what was the date you mentioned about being in Colchester?

Sorry for your loss Invis.

Good luck Vag and Mr Jam !

The relative parade has begun. They've all walked to the next village for some bread (when you ask people to bring lunch what do you expect them to bring? Bet it isn't a pack of fish fingers and some cherry tomatoes!) so I'm feeding ds2 in peace. The boy is evil, waited til I was at my most engorged by cluster feeding for a couple of days straight then only wokw twice for feeds last night . I hardly slept for leaking, pain, prodding him to make sure he was still alive and because he insisted he had to sleep with a bare breast as a pillow so I couldn't move. Need a neck massage today!

Bet tonight he is up every hour.

Right back from my run, your luck helped I managed it in 28min 52sec. It was a slow start with the crowds so I reckon I could round that down to 28 30. Im pretty happy with the run as I only sprained my ankle 3 weeks ago and have had a cold. DH did the 10km race, with no training in 54mins! I swear he does not age.

Invis I was thinking about you as I was reading Mansfield, esp after our conversation about 'I capture the castle'. I didn't mind it by the end, but I did want to slap Fanny a lot. I really would have thought in those days men would have to consider whether a women could make it through child birth. Not sure Fanny would if a short walk and picking roses wears her out. Also I had it in my head that Sir Thomas sent her to portsmouth to show her that Mansfield really was her home. But this time I read it, it was more like he was showing her marrying Mr C would make sure she wouldn't end up in a dump like her mum. All a bit vexing really ma'am.

Also I am very sorry to hear your sad news. Poor DH, how is your FIL, does he have much family near to him? How are you?

Spot, did you say scarlet fever? I loved your windy photo on FB. I so feel like crumpets now. I'm going to have to go to the Expats shop and pay a small fortune for a packet and then have to way them in hiding so I don't have to share them with DS2.

Speaking of him, he was riding his bike around the backgarden this afternoon and fell off and his the handlebars really hard. He split his lip on the outside and bit through it on the inside. There was so much blood. It has settled down now and I steamed him Chinese dumplings for tea so he was happy. It hasn't seemed to have effected his ability to eat but I think it might hurt more tomorrow. You can't get daktarin over the counter here but I'm hoping I've got an old tube floating around somewhere to put on the bite inside so it doesn't ulcerate. I've got some corsydol but I'm not sure if that's ok to use for kids.

Indith I meant to say, how bizarre to turn up with FF & toms. Also you saying they walked to the next village makes me giggle. Often you English ladies mention villages, in fact it is something I heard often when I lived in the UK, but it always made me giggle. In Australia we have cities & towns and only heard references to villages when we were watching documentaries about Africa or ancient civilizations. I always imagine a village as a little cluster of houses made from the resources available locally. Mainly mud and straw comes to mind. I'm hoping the next village along had recently killed an oxen, or had had a good harvest, so your in laws where able to bring back some lunch.

I am about to be fairly selfish, and ask Vag something directly - Vag - do you think it's possible for me to train for a half marathon in 8 weeks. I seriously doubt it. Have just done my first 5k in months and I managed to do it in 29 mins, and when I was training last year, I struggled to get under 30mins for weeks and weeks and am v unfit now, but managed it today. I do feel fairly knackered and sore now, which is pathetic, I know. BUT I want something to aim towards and something I could be really proud of. I was proud of my 10k in July last year (54 mins too, but with LOADS of training - damn DH's!!). Ho hum. Maybe I should stick with 10k sometime. DH is doing Geneva marathon on 6th May and there is a 1/2 marathon run in conjunction with it and he would be so chuffed if I did it with him. I'm just not sure I have the time or energy to do it with the move etc. But I could, I think. Ho hum.

Sorry, boring me.