Dec 08 Mums - happy new year, happy new thread and soon some happy new babies!

[sybilfaulty]

Happy new year!

Sorry for the rubbish title but wanted to get the new thread underway. Let's close the door on some of the sad events of 2011 and look forward to a better year in 2012.

Still pregnant!

Ds went to 42 weeks ZJ so I shouldn't really be surprised.

Bedtime with a tiny one is tough. I used to bath both together then leave ds is the bath while I dressed dd (on the landing outside the bathroom) and fed her on the bathroom floor while chatting to ds. Then dump dd in cot to grizzle while getting ds into pjs. All cuddle in my bed while reading stories and feeding then dump dd in cot and close door while she screamed and I did a last story for ds in his own bed. It settles down pretty soon, just do what works for you but remember, a 3 year old ignored for 10 min can get up to all sorts, get out of bed, get hacked off, start throwing a tantrum and end up not going to bed for hours. A baby ignored for 10 min will complain a bit but they won't hold it against you.

Indith that is such a good point, 3 year olds can cause infinitely more chaos than I baby. Dump and grizzle it is then, I think I just needed to hear it has been done before and that I wasn't about to be the worlds first neglectful mother.

Typically this evening has been much better, DD2 not feeding quite so often and DH back, plus my parents popped over (bringing fish and chips and cake - love them ).

My Mum was a nanny and I suspect would get on with the dreaded Gina F like a house on fire - it's fair to say she likes a routine. I was dreading her visit TBH as I was expecting to be told to leave DD2 to cry for 3 hours, don't make a rod, blah blah. But actually she's said that I'm doing the right thing, DD2 is too young to realise what she's doing and won't try to manipulate me (yet!) and then asked if she could have another cuddle, cause DD2 is too lovely to leave alone. I'm thrilled, as as stupidly as it seems, I feel like I've won some sort of approval (although in her own way, I don't doubt that Mum does approve anyway). I was fully expecting a lecture and couldn't be bothered to defend myself with more than a v childish "whatever", and actually I got a surprise pat on the back. Hurrah!

Dear ZJ, when I had 2 (2y apart) I would feed DD2 from about 5.30 to going upstairs time. I would then leave her (contented or not) in her chair for half an hour or so whilst I did bath, stories and bed with Lucy. As Indith says, the older one will know you are looking after her sister whilst the younger one won't especially care. If she cries, shut the door or put music on. Basically, there is only one of you and you need to spread yourself around in the way that is easiest for all. E will be put out but A won't remember once you pick her up again. HTH.

Indith, sympathies on the late babies. DD1 was 2 weeks late and I was climbing the walls, but the other 2 were planned CS so early. Hope you are OK and not too fed up. It's very exciting.

In other news, both DDs have been at their hair with the kitchen scissors. DD2 will have to have a short bob (which she's had before) but DD1 has never had her hair short and could sit on it until about 8.15 this morning. Suffice it to say she can't now. I know it's only hair and will grow back etc etc but i am so sad. It was beautiful.

Right, must guard my lions and get to Asda. Have a lovely weekend everyone.

Reading back, I feel it necessary to insert a "do not read over breakfast" warning on this post!

Argh. Am so fed up with this whole business. S's laundry for the last three days included 12 pairs of knickers and four complete changes of clothes from nursery where some were wees as well She's already had 2 poos in her pants today and is sitting on the loo when we should be on our way to gym club. She insists that she has no idea that a poo is coming, but will go and sit in a corner and shout 'don't come near me' so must know something is going on. And my potty training book is in one of the boxes we've still not unpacked!

Maybe it is an impaction after all, dh has felt her tummy most days and there doesn't feel like anything is there but it would explain why she says she can't feel anything. The poos that she does do are pretty soft, but not runny as would seem to be usual in that case. :(

JJ :(

It is so hard, I really feel for you.

I would really consider trying fybogel just for a couple of weeks to see, afterall it can't hurt. It isn't a laxative, it isn't medication, it is just a fibre supplement. Surely worth a shot.

We always found a pretty strict routine helped reduce accidents, kin dof like starting from scratch with potty training. We never assumed he would know when he needed a wee/poo so just aimed to catch them until gradually he started going himself again. Sometimes he would fight it but we found if there was a routine, we nagged less, and if we nagged less, he fought it less. So he went to the loo before getting dressed in the morning, before going out anywhere, before all meals etc. Took some explaining for nursery though, thye always seemed to go "oh yes we do encourage them..." as I was tryign to insist that you don't encourage you just take him! Thankfully school were great and his teacher would physically take him.

JJ I wish I had some advice but can only offer sympathy and empathy. M can do wees but ALWAYS poos in his pants. Awful. He is not bothered by it though, which means it's not distressing but gives no incentive to get it right.

A friend put me onto something called "drylikeme" which are huge child panty liners. Triangle shaped, use one or two as needed to help (we use one with the point pointing at his willy and the big bit going up the back to catch the poo) and basically saves huge amounts of washing. Would this help you? I bought mine in Sainsbury's but think I'll just buy normal grown up big liners next time as they would be much cheaper. I can send you some to try out if you PM me your address.

Indith, how are you doing?

Lucy has tipped a can of diet coke over the rug in the sitting room. Time to go to John Lewis for a replacement. Nice job for a sunday.

SHould add that she took the can from the fridge to see if she liked it, despite her knowing it's a grown up drink that she is Not Allowed. On the list of banned substances in our house. Minker.

Still here and getting very frustrated!

Isn't it a pain once they can reach the fridge! Little blighters and their independence .

Poor dd has a rotten cold, or possibly flu. She was getting snotty yesterday but went with dh to fetch the paper this morning and came back all shivery and cold even though she feels like she has a temp and is currently napping. Napping! My dd is napping! She really must be ill poor love.

Thinking of you and the waiting, Indith. Also, hope your DD gets well soon.

Sybil, shame about the carpet. My DD is monkey with the fridge too, I only find out she's been in there because she tends to leave the door open!

JJ - I think she must know when she needs to poo if she is hiding in the corner but perhaps the soiling is sometimes an "accident" and sometimes leakage from an impaction. It's so hard to know if they won't talk to us . I have been trying to think of ways you can encourage her to use the loo (in addition to Disney princess pants) 1. buy her a pink princessy loo seat, 2. make sure that her feet aren't dangling whilst sitting on the loo, 3. let her blow bubbles, a windmill or party blower whilst on the loo, 4. my sister had a bowl of chocolate money in sight but out of reach of children, anyone using the facilities (including grownups) correctly: loo, clothes and hands, was entitled to a chocolate coin. The other suggestions in the poo book that I linked to earlier are all rather negative, eg making them miss something they like to help clean up poo and I feel our DC would be too young for this (and I'm not keen on punishing and the thought of DS and poo mess together fills me with horror!).

We're trying to liberate some playmobil firemen from the top of my wardrobe. Only DS doing a poo in the potty will be good enough to do it. It looks like they will have reached retirement age before they escape though . Altogether now: "Freeeee, free the firemen".

ZJ - I mostly ended up doing a similar thing to Indith - feeding E one handed (or in the sling) while I did S's tea. Then fed her again while s was in the bath and did her stories ditto. When she got a little bit bigger and they could go in the bath together it was much better, in one of those plastic bath support thingies. Most of the really small baby time, E would just be feeding and S could sit on my knee as well (big lap!). I would feed her to sleep tut tut then pop E in her crib and come back to S for as long as possible, and if E woke again, she would be given a few minutes to grumble while I finished S's stories then got her back again. Great to get your mum's approval of how you're doing things!

Sybs - ah the home haircut... The thing to remember is they remain beautiful girls.

Indith, hope dd is better soon. This winter has been a bad one for lots of us and our babes!

Thanks again all for poo sympathy. It's probably karma coming back to bite us because she was effectively trained within a week by the girls at nursery, so we didn't have to deal with any of this trouble before...! She's back in pullups as of yesterday, we thought perhaps if she is just being lazy about it that this might be an encouragement to try harder, and also reduces the laundry load...
Indith, when you say you took ds lots of times, how long would you try for? S will sometimes claim she can feel her poo coming, but then nothing happens, so we end up sitting there for ages. I someti es wonder if there's an aspect of "I get 15 minutes alone with mummy if I keep saying yes I'm trying"...
Nolda, we'll try some of those ideas. I like the rewards for everyone who correctly does the whole routine :) but who one earth thought getting a kid to help clear up the poo was a good idea?!
I've been doing a visualisation with her (!) where her hand is above a little circle and she pushes with her tummy and pushes her hand down to get the stuff out through the little hole. Sometimes it works, but earlier we spent 15 mins in the loo after she'd had a tiny accident, she kept sying "my poo is coming" but nothing happened. 10 mins later, hiding under the table, massive poo in her pullup :( will add extra rewards and try her with fybogel. She has managed a couple of goes in the loo which is great, but the result does seem to take her by surprise - she says she needs to check and see if there's anything there, rather than knowing for sure.

If I post and dash forgive me, DD2 keeps waking up screaming. Bloody teeth.

JJ It sounds so difficult but I'd say going back to pull ups is a great idea, less washing and less upset for DD1 when she has an accident. The trouble with pooing is that we all have hang ups which prevent us from going (even if we need too) in some circumstances - no one would want to have a poo on a first visit to a boyfriend's parents etc. Forgive me if you have already said this, but did it start after she was ill or constipated? Maybe she needs to relearn how it feels to need a poo. Maybe fibogel would help with the bowel signalling it is time to go.

ZJ I tended to bathe DD1 with DD2 bathed or not depending on how much energy I had. Dress/change DD2 whilst DD1 was still in the bath. Upstairs PJs on then feed DD2 whilst reading to DD1. If J was ready for bed earlier then I'd let L watch the bedtime hour whilst I fed/settled DD2 upstairs...

Must go, baby crying...

JJ not long each time really, we always just said the important thing is to try. We do a longer sit after dinner, the aim being to try to get a poo routine going since most people tend to poo at a similar time each day. The after dinner one is now pretty short or doesn't happen as he will have gone already himself but at first we would sit and read a couple of chapters of a book or something.

Waters have gone today but no contractions. If I'm not in labour by 9am tomorrow then it is off to hospital for induction :(

Indith! How exciting, sending you big contraction vibes and hope you're meeting your baby really soon!

Go Indith, go! I hope that those contractions get going (if not already) and DC3 is in your arms very soon. Random question, if you've got nothing better to do - I was just going to post on a food thread about chip spice, but you beat me to it. Are you a Hull girl originally?

Indith I really hope you're having contractions!! Or cuddly your lovely new baby.

Go Indith! I hope you are cuddling DS2 as we speak and that fear of induction is a distant memory. Oooh I love a good birth story. Can't wait.

Am at Gatwick awaiting flight to Kosovo. Am a bit perturbed by both DDs' reaction to me leaving. DD2 was utterly hysterical - screaming and grabbing hold of me, sobbing for me to "run home as quick as you can". DD1 didn't bat an eyelid. No more reaction than if I said I was off to the loo. I'm not sure either extreme is healthy. I am actually most worried by DD1. It fits with a pattern of her increasingly living in her own imaginary world where all she wants to do is be at home playing make believe. I wonder how normal that is for a five year old.

Why isn't there a Pret in Gatwick??? British airport catering really sucks.

Hope everything started off by itself Indith! Can't wait to hear a lovely birth story.

Chip spice? Is that like scraps?

Find anything nice to eat Aubs?

Yay Indith that's so exciting, you might be snuggling up to a yummy smelling newborn as I type.

JJ I'm sorry for all you are going through with this toilet stuff. I think the fybrogel sounds a good idea. I worked in gastro in Australia and in UK and saw the extreme end of constipation with kids coming in for inpatient treatment. The thing that always helped the most was the OT's with their exercises. The ones already mentioned blowing things are the best. You could also get her to put her thumb in her mouth and pretend she is blowing up a balloon. Though as she has never blown up a balloon this may not help. The cleaning up poo thing is for older kids but I usually told parents to get their kids to help gather up the soiled clothes and bring them to the laundry and stay with the mum as she cleaned them. Getting a kid to clean soiled pants is a bit mean. It's mainly to show them they don't just poo and get new pants then back to play. It inconveniences them so they might see that just going to the toilet is easier. I think what JB said was very interesting.

On the bed bath and story with 2 when DH/DP is away, DH used to get on Skype and read DS1 a story while I fed and settled DS2 to sleep. Then if they finished before I had settled DS2, DS1 would either look at books in his room or come in and snuggle with DS2 & I. It didn't always go smoothly but at least DS1 was happy.

We are back from Germany and DS2 is getting over a cold so we are slabbed out watching Tele. Both boys were sick while we were away so didn't see as much of Berlin as I would have liked to, but DH and I got a few runs on the snow together and DS1 while well really enjoyed his skiing and is quite good at it. DS2 could take it or leave it. He loved being pointed down a slop and pushed but as he was with other 3 year olds who weren't so enamored of speed he spent most of the time standing around attached to his skis.

Poor DH got no holiday to speak of. The three days at the snow were annual leave days but he spent the much of the time on the phone. Then in Berlin he was working. He is really ready to change jobs and will hopefully talk to the people who want to contract him this week.

So back to the mountain of washing I go. Think I need another coffee.

Hope it's going well Indith. Dilating vibes to you darling XXS

Happy Birthing Indith. xx

Good luck, Indith. Looking forward to hearing the news!

:) Arthur born at home 6.05am. Very speedy labour when it finally decided to start!

Yes I'm from Hull. Chip spice is amazing. I think I need some now.

Aww! Wonderful news! Congrats!

Lovely new baby and wonderful name! Being a mum of 3 is great. HUGE congratulations to you all XXX