April 2011 - Hello Grindstone. Nose here, reporting for duty.

[DairyBeetle]

Plumps comfy pillows, shakes warm fluffy blankets, passes them round, sleeps

Oh MrsW Poor DaddyWajs :( Was he medivac'd? Sending get well wishes. He'll be being looked after now.

It is really scary when you see your dad, the one who was always strong, emotionally and physically, show any weakness. I can see my dad getting older and it makes me want to cry.

We will not be encouraging long naps anymore. T is still awake and rampaging around the living room!

MrsW :( hope your dad is ok.

MrsW Oh goodness that must have been awful news. It's hard to see family members ill especially your Dad. In my experience with my Grandad, Gran and Dad as I start to see them get white hair, need a nap and get hospital treatment for one thing or another although it was/is heartbreaking to see them get on into more "Last of the Summer Wine" territory it was/is an opportunity for the bond to deepen as I step in to check on their care, nag them about taking their tablets, take every opportunity to talk to them about stuff I hadn't before simply because I was taking more time to chat such as the other day when I was talking about baby carriers to my Grandad and how I had seen that Welsh ladies used to carry their bairns in wool shawls, my Grandad said "oh yes I remember my Mam doing that. I thought you were a bit old fashioned for not using a pram much" :) Anyway you get my meaning. Illness is awful and absolutely no doubt in hospital is the best place to sort out the infection and hernia but it presents a beautiful opportunity to as we say where I'm from "cuggle over" him. Have nice long chats, talk to his nurses/drs about his care make it seem as close as you can get it to a mini break and act like you don't notice him getting on. I know that you'd do all these things and more because you're lovely. I just wanted to give you some support x

Fizz Would love to! Have a good time up North and see you when you return (to a lovely kitchen!!!!!)

News here is that I've not slept really. DH decided it was an excellent idea to turn up at home over an hour and a half late without answering his phone. I had visions of him in a ditch somewhere or having lost his travel card and phone after being mugged or something. I was a bit shaky when he finally came home. No explanation as to why he didn't say "home later tonight or anything" except to say "It's pretty unlikely someone would mug me isn't it?"
I went off to bed at 11 and was pestered then R decided to wake up at 3am and wont go back to sleep so that's my lot for sleep last night.

Hope your dad is ok MrsW, that sounds scary.

I have invented the world's best toy, an empty Pepsi bottle with rice in it so it rattles. H is pushing it around lovingly while ignoring the expensive toys dotted around the living room.

Arch if you don't mind me saying, your DH doesn't seem very considerate

Ali it's driving me slightly mad. I think his idea is "little woman at home/50s stepford wife" and I'm thinking powerful strong matriarch equal, although he will not admit to this his actions give me the impression that this is what he expects. Marriage is hard sometimes :(

Ha cycle! Bs favourite toys are my homemade shakers!! I've a feeling Christmas will be all about the boxes and wrapping paper!

((hugs))

I find that the longer we live the stereotype - DH at work, me at home - the more we are it. We talk about it a lot, and actually if anyone is 'in charge' then it is me. It is one of the reasons that DH left his last job, the attitude there was very sexist and DH not wanting to hang about in the office until 7pm every night and then go to the pub to avoid having to do bath and bedtime was viewed as odd by his colleagues. I really noticed his thinking start to shift while he was working there.

Best toys here are bottles with rice, cornflakes, dried chickpeas, water, coloured water, salt and sweet wrappers. And a fabric covered box that he stick his head in.

arch hugs. My DH is like that sometimes

T's favourite toys are anything that belongs to DS1

Thanks for all your kind words girls :) It means a lot. In a way I'm kinda used to this scenario, my dad hasn't kept very well since he was in his 40's. Heart attack at 47, numerous hernias, varicose veins etc etc. His side of the family just don't have a great mortality rate! His brother died at 42, my grandma at 57 and my grandad at 63. We've always had a good sense of humour about it and my dad often jokes that he's made it to the first milestone (ie 42) so now he needs to get to the next one (57). Some people might find that a little disturbing but it's our way, as a family, of coping! It just upset me to see him so emotional yesterday as he's usually a stiff uper lip kinda guy. But having an infection can do strange things to you so it was probably a side effect of that.

No, he wasn't medivac'd this time Fizz thankfully! He was when he had his heart attack and I think if it happens more than once then he wouldn't be cosidered fit to return offshore! He was more upset about not finishing his trip than being ill as he knows he won't be allowed back until the hernia is sorted which will be into the new year, so he's worrying about money and christmas and my brothers wedding etc. Bless him.

Arch I'm always the one who takes over whenever someone is ill, despite my mum being the "tough" one she tends to go to pieces in situations like this so it's me who takes charge. It probably helps that I'm a nurse too so I know what's going on and can push for other things to be done that others might not necessarily know about!
Could I suggest that you try turning the tables on DH? Don't be home when he comes in from work and see how he likes not knowing where you are! DP used to do that to me before I had R and once I started doing it to him he soon stopped!! But you have my sympathy, it's hard when you both have different views/expectations of your relationship.

Hi everyone

Ali how's t now?

arch grr at ur dh and eeeeeee at dd cruising!!

buck hope your f is ok

mrsw big hugs. Hope your dad is ok.

S has another tooth coming and is still adapting to my work routine.

DP and I are often having the 'the house work is solely your responsibility', 'no it's not' argument because he works and I don't. The fact is he does the same as he did before H was born, naff all. He occasionally has a blitz of a room while whining agouti how messy it all is and when he's finished I can't find anything I need and he's just moved mess from one area to another. Sigh.

Hey all!

Trying to catch up, there's always so much to read on here.

Ali, hope DS1 is feeling better. Your description of his little chin made me wobble.

MrsW, hope your dad is on the mend too. Thinking of you. I was a real daddy's girl too and he had a mild stroke a few years back. It knocked me for six. Sounds as though you have a lot on your plate at the moment.

Cycle, inspired. I'm off to make one.

Arch, sounds tough. I hope you manage to have a chat about it. That's not fair on you. We have a screamer here too. It's C's favourite form of communication. I am hoping it's a phase.

I think it's hard for DH/Ps who are out at work all day to understand how much time is involved in just looking after children. I can still recall telling DH that he would not have to do any cleaning while I was on mat leave. HAHAHAH. He doesn't do much but neither do I. DH often says that he's envious of my day and sometimes I want to reply that he should try it for a week and see how he gets on. But then I am off swimming and meeting other mums for coffee and I think it must look bloody lovely when he has to work all day.

Fizz, hope the new kitchen is up and running soon. Mmmm lovely new kitchen. I will be allowing myself one too, IF we get the darn house we're trying to buy.

Dairy it was me with nursery. Thanks for the support.

I am sitting here counting down the minutes till I can go and pick C up. His last settling in day today, he'll have done 6 hours. Hope he's ok. I had to take myself home as the retail therapy was getting out of hand. A day off tomorrow and then work begins. Boo. Hope you're getting on ok Kitty.

Sorry, I dont post for a while and then blather on for ages

How is the house buying going Jo? are you still playing pretend and going there at the weekend?!

Hugs Arch, I can't think of anything nice or constructive to say, so I won't say anything. Just hope you are ok.

Hope your dad is ok MrsW, my dad had some sort of testicular infection and a hernia at the same time, are they linked? He had the hernia operated on and all was fine afterwards. The testicular pain was ongoing for quite a while though and he was in a lot of pain, so many sympathies to your dad.

Funny we should mention housework. Dh and I had 'tense words' about it yesterday evening. We have a mildew problem in the bathroom, so every few months I scrub the Walls with a vile cleaner which gets rid of it. I hate the stuff, I swear it burns my nose lining away as I have an allergic feel up my nose for days afterwards. Anyway is really needed doing and I was going out last night so I asked dh to do it. Cue cats bum face from him.

He wants us to get a cleaner as he readily admits that he won't be doing any housework and neither does he expect me to do it all. However, we have to find the cleaners wages from somewhere and in the meantime the Walls still need scrubbing.

He works for himself so he works in the day and again in the office most nights, so he really doesn't have the time to any cleaning. So really we are going round in circles with it. However I have a plan. In the new year I am going to meal plan as I am sick of the amount we spend and waste on food,i am also contemplating not spending money on 'stuff' we don't really need. I often spend for the sake of it and it needs to stop. If I can do this, voila it will pay for a cleaner.

It felt good to get that out. Thanks if you are still reading

P's favourite toy is the remote control . Not sure what that says about us!

I was exactly the same pre baby Jo - told DH that the house would be spotless when I was on maternity leave. I had visions of him coming home to an ideal home style living room with tea in the oven every night. Ha bloody ha. He's lucky if I've made the bed and washed the lunch dishes most days!

Arch Hope that you manage to have a decent talk with your DH :(

Mrs W Thinking of you and your family.

P is so mobile now. She's been adopting the crawl position for about a fortnight now but can still only go backwards. She has however mastered a bunny hop technique that can propel her across the living room within seconds. I don't think my Christmas tree is going to stand a chance when it goes up!

X posts ILike - I am a committed meal planner! It definitely saves money and food waste, although it can be a bit crap when you come home from work and realise that you really don't fancy whatever you're meant to be having that night.

I'd love a cleaner though...

ILike - do it, we have a cleaner once a fortnight now and it is a marriage saver life-saver.

I try and mealplan, but in the scenario star describes we often head to the chippy

Ha! So do we Ali

Ok both quiet asleep (on a roll there I hope, although it did take F about 45 minutes of running from room to room shouting and giggling after bath first) early bed really cannot be bothered with dinner tonight, DH can make toast if he's hungry I think. Night night all.

I am getting a cleaner the minute I go back to work. The only reason I don't have one now is that she wouldn't have room to clean around me, C, DH, the massive dog, buggy, jumperoo, etc. I used to have one and I really think it is the best way to spend £20 - £40, depending on what you need. I used to think of it as buying back my Saturday.

Ilike, we've stopped the stalking. Things are moving slowly, the people we are buying from are struggling to find somewhere. There were noises that they had found a place this weeking but it's all gone a bit quiet again.

Star, I had the same vision. And I thought I might 'do' the garden. . I had no idea!

Have had a rather sick baby since nursery collection. He had a really good day, apparently, but had had major vomiting since he got home. I think he's done now, poor little mite. Wise MN ones, should I give him milk when he wakes (formula) or just some water?

sorry for the typos, my keyboard is a heap of crap.

I would continue with milk and just double check that nursery are making the feeds correctly hope he gets better soon

MrsW I completely missed the drama with your dad I hope he's okay and fingers crossed for a speedy resolution. It's so hard when our parents are ill, I think it reminds us that they are in fact mortal and not invincible as parents should be.

Give him milk Jo. It may be a one off vomit and if its not, giving him milk wont make him ill per se, you will just have another milk vomit to clear up. However if he does multiple vomits after milk, then try water (little and often) as it may be easier on his stomach.

I hope the house situation remedies itself. Moving house in this country is a pita.

Thanks lovely ladies. It's been a few voms, a couple before bed, then I gave him a little bit of milk, he seemed to want it, but then threw it back up. He's been asleep for an hour and a half now so hopefully that will help. I'll try milk if he wakes..... i have spare bedclothes to hand.

Moving house in this country is insane. Don't get me started. But that house is mine. I've imaginary decorated, so there.