July 2010: now they're all 1, some me-time has begun [huge feck-off sarcasm emoticon]

[CakeandRoses]

am bf A and telling F off and have still come to the rescue.

melissa great news that he's come thru it so well. fingers crossed his 2nd year will be plain sailing now

memph that's disgusting re your mum's tax bill. can only echo the other's advice re speaking to inland rev. also - no chance of writing any of it off against random stuff that's been bought or done? might pay to get a decent* accountant to take a look at the accounts and see what they can 'lose' legitimately.

mlic why would you like the boys to go to a private school. just the area or would you anyway?

like melissa's area, almost all the schools here are Outstanding rated by ofsted but it worries me that that'll make them v results orientated. i'm actually weighing up sending F to the only "good" rated school instead as it might be less of a hothouse and more likely to not be about my 'unusual' schooling views.

the other concern i have is kinda the reverse of mlic's in that i want the DCs to mix with a diverse range of people and not just the white, middle-class monied families that this area (and the outstanding schools on our doorstep in particular) are full of.

chul deffo get a test done. also, are you taking multivits? something like pregnacare?

cake I think you must be the only person ever to complain about outstanding schools on your doorstep... Here the local primaries are OK but terribly overcrowded. For secondary, there's a very good girls' school but for boys it's much more mixed - there's an improving academy, but not much else decent. We are in the catchment area for the grammar schools in Redbridge if J is clever. We'll probably move by then anyway.

bad luck about the sleep, cake. I'm afraid when J gets into bad sleep habits we have to let him cry a bit in order to break the habit. can't really think what to advise. what happens if you sit in her room with her being very very boring?

fab news that the op went well, melissa!

Lol at cake being the only person to complain about Outstanding schools. Schools here don't get a "rating" like outstanding, good, etc, they have ERO reports (like OFSTED) but they're written with such stock phrases, they all read pretty much the same, unless the school is absolutely awful. You really have to talk to other parents at the school to get an idea. No SATs either, though I think there's National Standards coming in for 7 yr olds, just v basic tests of what they can do - loads of schools have opposed them though and said they won't do them.

Yes, forgot to say melissa, glad he's doing so well!

Because I have personal experience of private schools cake - as I said earlier I went to the same one from 2 months after my 4th birthday, until I left secondary school. I did zero revision in GCSE years and the only thing I ever spent real time on was my classical civilisation coursework as I loved it so wanted to do it all the time. Despite this I left with an A*, 5 As, 2 Bs and a C. I learnt a lot without even realiseing I did iyswim - it's the opposite of chulita's experience of 'learning to pass exams' because the learning was so diverse I walked (imo) my exams without any real effort I suppose. I also like that I got to stufy things like classical civilisation (which I have a GCSE in actually) and Latin (which I only couldn't take as an option because I was already doing French and German) I deliberately chose to go to a 'normal' college even though my mam said I could have stayed on, and did no work again (academia really doesn't interest me) and left with 2 Cs (but one was general studies so no work/revision required) a D and an E. Very different learning styles see.

Also, there is a hell of a lot more respect shown in private schools. From pupils to teachers and vice versa. Again, I'm talking from experience, not just talking out of my arse :)

The kids round here are like something off shameless at times. That's why I'm worried about who my boys will mix with :( Judgey pants I know, but it's a serious concern of mine. A lot of the housing association houses on the road are now vacated and are starting to be demolished, this might change the demographic of the area a bit depending on what happens with the land.

So to answer your question, at this point in time it is probably more to do with the area. But if money was no object then I wouldn't hesitate to enrol them in private school. They could even go to my old school as it is co-ed now. I met up with an old school friend today funnily enough and her son starts at the neighbouring private school to ours (very wealthy area) which used to be 'the boys' school' - they are both now co-ed though. I would be lying if I said I wasn't a little jealous that she is sending him there and I can't send ds1.

So there we go. Waffle over. Hope I haven't bored you too much :)

TSC hope the hair is fixable????

I did classical civilisation as my subsidary subject at university mlic, I did a joint honours degree in English and Philosophy and in the first year you chose a third subject just to do for a year, that's what I did. I really enjoyed it . I also did Latin at school and failed my O'Level (got a D) but am really glad I did it, it gives you a great understanding of language - I like seeing a word I don't know but can work out the meaning of because I know what bits of it mean in Latin.

My parents were always into history, literature, languages etc, my mun did an O'Level in Ancient Greek when she was about 55, just for something to do

Your degree sounds right up my street! If I was choosing again I would definitely do something like that. I would do something like your mam did again too, probably will at some stage! I loved all the Greek and Roman mythology as well as the 'how they lived' stuff. My dad's side are all into the same stuff as your parents - dad is fluent french and can speak dutch and get by in German. My grandparents the same. Unfortunately I have barely spoken German since getting an A at GCSE and Fench Alevel (D) Like you say, Latin is great for providing a basis to modern languages and no other schools round here teach Latin which is a shame.

Ha ha, yeah I'm not easaily pleased woodlands :D

I know my worries probably sound ridiculously petty compared to some but I'm just trying to figure out the best thing to do to prevent my two becoming boring little snobs ;) but I take your point mlic that better snobs than yobs.

Am off to the cinema now. Odds on I'll fall asleep in my popcorn.

Ive been to bingo and didnt win, dh has gone to his mates for a beer, he is grumpy for some reason!
I have eaten 3 healthy meals today and done 1 hour on the wii and first day of shred lets see if I can keep it up!
cakes sorry no advice except for riding it out, L got into habit of having milk in the night again recently but we offered him water for 2 nights and he is sleeping better again, but thats my boy with the threat of water I think, he will do anything not to drink it!
mlic it was on the news that they were thinking of starting up latin again in schools. I really want L to learn French, when I live in Wales hardly anyone spoke Welsh but if you had no qualifications but knew Welsh you were made up, the DVLA and Lloyds bank pay over double normal hourly rate to speak it in there call centers, I think languages are so important dh didnt learn any, I was fluent but have lost it all, I can grasp basic conversation though
L's new thing is wanting anything that im eating or drinking so we keep blowing to cool things down so today all he has done is blow everything he puts in his mouth! He also reads his books or has a phone to his ear babbling away, the only word he says while doing it is Nanny, he must have said it 100 times today! very cute

That's cute memphis! E does the same with the phone she walks around the house with the phone babbling in to it with a few yeah yeah yeah's thrown in and then a laugh as if what she's saying is hilarious! She waa doing it today whilst sweeping with her sweeping brush! She's multi tasking early!
Cake I really sympathise with you. It's really wearing when they start to not sleep. You really feel like you don't get a minute to yourself. We just sat in E's room beside her cot and had to let her cry but we were still there. Then after about a week we didn't stay with her cos she was playing up to it and now she's sleeping the night. I know thats not what you want to do as it involves crying but we were at the end of our tether as we weren't getting sleep and neither was she so it really was the only thing that worked.
Oh my head is swimming with numbers after the course tonight. Off to watch don't tell the bride! Love it!

Re the not wanting your dcs to be snobs, cake, I think that sort of thing comes far more from parents than school. Kids mostly pick up those sort of attitudes from parents, don't they? That's what I've always thought anyway.

And have you considered that the one school rated "good" not "outstanding" might be more of a hothouse than the others as they may be concerned about being the only non-"outstanding" school in the area and may be working desperately hard to get their rating up through SAT results.

I agree with you wss re parents, my sister's bringing her 4 up in the rough end of Norris Green which is the rough end of Liverpool. She has drug dealers for neighbours (honestly, they get raided regularly), it's seriously a horrible area but so far her's are doing really well - polite, considerate, don't swear etc. I know they worry about how to bring them up properly but they can't afford to move so they're stuck there at the moment.

I've got no non-cc methods cake sorry! I just hope A sorts herself out soon for your sake.

I've got the mw on Friday, I might mention something to her then. I'll get some Spatone in though, iron pills wreak havoc with my digestive system.

Tbh (to drag the school thing out a bit more), I'm not fussed about the rating of the school as much as class sizes/general atmosphere. DH and I can fill in any gaps in their education between us. He's the maths/science man and I'm happy as long as there are words involved I'm sort of teaching my two French and Spanish now, breakfast is done in Spanish and lunch in French so all their knowledge will be food based but at least they'll be able to order a meal!

kkfairy and memphis I love it when they wander around with phones, you suddenly realise what words you say most :) L always does a fake laugh then '[DH's name] back now, see y'later bye!' Always cos my DF rings just as DH is getting home so I have to cut him off!

Hi all, sorry I haven't posted for ages, I have caught up now at last. Trudyla I feel exactly the same about d and not having enough time for him, we have some lovely special times together and I'd hate it if that's all over when #2 comes.
Cake, I totally get what u mean about middle class etc, where we live is not the same but people can have very narrow minded views and coming from Birmingham I totally want them to have very open minds, there are such pros and cons to different schools. My friend has just had to put her kids into state school from private and they are bottom of the class, she's distraught after spending so much money.
Re not sleeping, I hate to say it but iagree with the others, protest crying is different to upset crying IMO, I probably wouldn't take her out of her room either. D has been awful for a few weeks now, the last few nights I haven't gone in at all and it would seem that the wake ups are reducing.
Chu, hope ur doing better today, I'm 27 weeks already! This is gona go fast man!
I'm in twickenham today, had to get up at 4.30! No fun at all!

Wow viks! I'd forgotten you were that far on, I'm nearly 16 weeks and it's going sssslllloooooowwww for me...March feels like a decade away.

DH went to a private school but left in 6th form and went to college instead. I went to one of the best grammar schools in this area and I left after gcse's so just goes to show no matter how good the school is it's up to the child in the end once they can make their own decisions. Funny how you make the decision for them when they're 4 but when it gets to the important exams they're left making the choice themselves and it can be the wrong one.

It's meant to be really hot every day til sun so I'm taking D to my mums and getting the paddling pool out!

children are just bloody random...

so after posting last night. babygirl went straight down, woke up after I went out at 8.30pm, dh 'injected' her with the contraband neurofen and she slept thru til 6am, had a feed and went back to sleep to 7.30.

F on the other hand (who has been sleeping thru really well) wouldn't go to sleep til 9pm, woke again at 11pm, woke again at 1.30am screaming as he'd done a poo in his pull-ups (maybe first time ever at night) and wouldn't go back to sleep until we let him in with us.

wt actual f?!

anyway, feel shattered again but relieved she actually slept. oh and i did fall asleep in the cinema.

wss you could be right about the 'good' school. i need to go and see them all and get a sense of that. also - and this is embarrassing to admit - i thought F started school in Jan '13 but according to my friends last night (whose dds are a year ahead as they're born before the sept cut-off) he won't start til sept '13 when he'll be nearly 5. so that's good anyway - an extra year with him but by then the good school (who are getting lots of funding and have a great new head) may well be outstanding too

i do agree about the attitudes coming from parents. i was kinda joking about the snob thing but i do think that children are also influenced by what they experience day to day and by their peers and so it's important to give them experiences outside of privileged middle england. i hope that somehow we'll make sure that they'll meet a broad range of people and i'd also love to travel with them but don't think it'll be long trips like i did as a child.

tsc how's the hair? could you get a pic to kk and get her advice?

memph and kk so cute about them babbling away on the phone. A hasn't been doing that much - she only did it for the first time this week actually but she is now saying 'banana' which i think is a v cute thing. i make her say it loads every time before i'll give her it

oh and she also kills me by running over to sit on the hearth stone when she wants her shoes on. no idea why she's decided that's the right spot for shodding!

what are you all up to today?

we've got music class later which bigboy now does on his own so i'm meeting another parent from there for coffee and then meeting a different friend and her 2 dds afterwards.

I won a free place to a (fee paying) grammar school and I didn't feel like I was surrounded by only wealthy people...I mean they must all been from quite comfortably-off families, being at a fee-paying school but no one was super-rich.

I don't think the town I was in (Bury) has really wealthy people, just sort of middle-class ones, people I went to school with had parents who were GPs, teachers, etc. I never felt poorer then them, my dad was in a poorly-paid-but-respectable job (vicar). I had quite a lot of friends outside of school who were at state schools too.

I agree with the others. But you won't be surprised to hear that cake

I had a dreadful night again last night even though the kids slept through. When baby started screaming at 6:40am it took me a minute to come round - I got out of bed and got as far as his door and he stopped! So I got back into bed until 7am when toddlerboy burst out of his room when the sun came up.

Whatever you do decide to do though cake I reckon bringing her out of her room is the worst thing you can do.

I feel like your sister chulita. I get complimented all the time about how nice/polite etc ds1 is. I just worry about peer pressure when he's older. But it's a long way off so trying not to think about it for now.

I have a real dog food issue. Babyboy is obsessed with it. He eats is much less these days, which is a bonus, but he picks handfuls out of the bowls and throws it all over the place. I can't lock the dogs out, that's not fair on them, I can't not put their food down because they are pickers like my children and won't eat a full meal in one go. Shouting at him doesn't stop him...I don't know what else to do!

xposted like a good'un

mlic I haven't been able to leave the dog food out during the day since G started crawling, she just eats it all , the dog just has to eat between 7pm and 6am and he's used to that now. I usually put his food and water down in the day too when G has a sleep and he has a water bowl outside too ( he is in and out of the house all day).

yy, i know it's silly bringing her out of her room mlic and all. i'm usually much more patient about just sitting in there with her but have just been feeling too whacked at night and needed some adult time in the evenings so have been less inclined. previously, she would only come out when she was really upset and she seemed to go back to her routine fine again when teething was over. hopefully that's what happened again last night but who knows...?

tis doubly annoying as they seem to be taking in turns at sleeping thru - rarely at the same time.

just to give you a flavour of what it's like here - i've heard the good-rated school being referred to more than once as 'chavvy' because its intake is mostly from the neighbouring council houses (not in any way a rough area btw). it's those kind of attitudes which i despise and i don't want my two to share.

Oh and fwiw I agree with you wss. I think there are a lot of misconceptions about private schools. One of them is that everyone is wadded - I am certainly not from a 'wealthy family'. My mam is a manager in the NHS and my dad a lorry driver It's just that mam they chose to spend their money on me and my education rather than other things. Yes, some of them were absolutely minted (like Hayley McQueen, Sky Sports presenter who used to socialise with the boro players cos her dad was a coach, another whose dad was another local team's manager) but most were like wss said, daughters of teachers and GPs/Consultants etc. My close friends all certainly were.

I could try that wss but have to be careful with one of the dogs who is on steroids and shouldn't have them on an empty stomach. That's easier said than done at the best of times, and he has to have his tablets on a morning

Glad she slept well cake. Sorry he didn't. Must be teething. Oh no he has them all now doesn't he

Yes i'm happy to have a look tsc!
Chulita thats hilarious about L! I remember feeling like utter shit until about 16 weeks then started to feel a bit better. Was going to mention spatone to to you but I see you got there first
Glad she's sleeping better cakes. Pity about F though. It's so bloody irritating not getting sleep :( i'm laughing imagining you getting A to say banana loads of times! E says naaana for banana. I love this stage!
Vik oh gosh your pg is going so fast! You'll have so many special times with the 2 of them that you'll never feel guilty.