The CRESH Creche and Spa - What's your excuse for not going back to work?

[Backinthebox]

Liking maternity leave too much? Can't be arsed to go back to your old job? Why not get made redundant, set up a company, have another baybee or even fall off a horse? Anything to spend more time with our little darlings! And it's so naice here - pass the gin!

Curly - I like your dance. Does that count as this thing you call sechs?

Mind and body? Hmmm.

Ha who did you think I was silvs? don't think
I've figured out who you are but then my baby addled brain can't keep track of the FB/MN connections half the time so I've stopped worrying about it. Hit me up if you like?

Loz, nice one on super sleeping Bug, he's giving Sprout a run for her money there. She will do 8ish til 4 and occasionally 5 or 6. I haven't been feeding her after bed time though but am toying with the idea of introducing a 10 pm dream feed but am too scared of messing up what scant routine we have. Did anyone else do this?

Just popped on for first time in ages and....OMG!!!Baybeewin for Moo! Congrats! So exciting!

Pink gins to everyone else, miss you all, will try to catch up and start posting again. Not much to report here, am clearly crap since have no time to do anything in the day between meals, feeds and nappy changes. Mostly fine, sometimes groundhog like. And have secured extra year of mat leave (career break) so not due back at work till after next summer. Nice but a bit worried will get bored. So that's us. Off to try to catch up.

And Penblwydd Hapus Gin! Hope you have had a good day.

Vag welcome back but fuck back off with your extra year off chat (which repulses me). You jammy cah!

Loz teh sechs at 6 weeks is tres impressive.

Fanks VAG. Good to hear from you and glad you are going to be knocking about the place for a while longer (the real world I mean). Career break sounds dandy!

Rocket we do the dreamfeed but when babymoo was little I didn't wake him for it, I would just make sure he had a feed before I went to bed as and when he woke (he always did - and if he didn't, I would wake him by 11.30pm). We still do it now and he sleeps right through to 7. I know lots of people don't, but I just didn't fancy being woken at 5 for longer than I needed to be.

kim That's why I went ahead TTC at 6 months post-partum. At my vintage I don't have years to play around with, months to "not really try" and if I needed to GO directly to the fertility clinic and hand over my shiny coins then I needed to know sooner rather than later.

silv Well I would like somewhere closer to home, the place right now is close to the office which obv. is handy when I go in and the YO is amazing, no flapping, no panicking and the yard in general: no kids, no arseholes, no Gucci bag totin', Pikeur-wearin' trophy-wives. Am toying with a small private yard like kate and I'm a tidy person, however don't want to be doing DIY if I'm on the road and do want facilities. Do want great hacking, do want jumps. Don't want people who make me feel like a fat scruff with a hoss that's "too good for me" - yes, have been told that before. "Why don't you go and buy yourself a nice coloured cob?" - coloured cobs are not "cool" in europe, they are as they once were in the UK, the horse of the travelling community. Ah well, will figure it out and JB's pretty good with her, she's easy to load etc. so he can handle all that shite. One yard rents out trailers/landies to the liveries - that would be a major bonus rather than having to buy.

kate Joules are now doing a further 20% off sale prices.

moo I'm with okie, I think you should swish in to your swanky office and "play the game" for 3/4 weeks and then swish out again in a cloud of cashmere & diamonds (on expenses obv.). Would you get the full maternity package from them if you were to do so? Ethically I think it's "naughty" to rip off companies like that, however, when they've got the cash reserves of your's, mine, kate's etc. then I think "take, take, take!".

My baybee keeps waking at 5:30 and wanting to star tthe day. I ignore him until 7, well, you know, smile, hold his hand through the cot bars, turn Ewan on, but don't get out of bed. Then at 7:45 he climbed in to his chair downstairs and went to sleep for 1.5 hours. Wtfffffffff? I'm sooooo tired. JB is on semi-nights which means I'm doing dreamfeed, he wakes me up when I get in, bear starts at 5:30 and now I'm "trying" to work (end of quarter accounts) and I'm so tired I could cry. Also, when was the last time I washed? I could not tell you.

ap like you am tempted to start TTC sooner rather than later but I do have that moral argument of going back to work diffed (assuming that lucky to get a win). Besides I won't be going back so assume I'd just get standard maternity? Is that from the govt? Anyone know?

VAG how 'bout I have your career break and you do my job? What do you mean "no thanks"?

rock perhaps I thought you were Madame Boo? First name begins with B and met with casp and fp recently.

Curse this rain. Where's my summer???

Last couple if nights MB is not falling asleep whilst feeding and not happy to be put down awake. So is screaming like a screamy thing. Bedtimes are becoming testing!

Alps I would swan back with no qualms whatsoever (they've had their pound of flesh off my arse) but Plan B is really ramping up now and I need more time, not less to do it so don't know how I could realistically do 2 jobs for about 3 months and maintain a level of sanity I need. It would also depend on them agreeing to 3 days a week (giving me 2 to work on the other thing) which just isn't enough. I've just finished August now - which is out next week - and yet again I feel utterly shattered after the last week of stress and late nights. I don't think I could physically do both and be pregnant and be keeping it quiet from them. I'd go doolally.

silv I think if you don't go back you don't get anything? Maternity allowance is for self employed / on job seekers etc, and SMP is for those who's employers are too tight (like mine) to offer anything over. If you resign and aren't working you aren't entitled to anything other than whatever tax credits etc and CB.

I could be wrong though!

Silv your summer happened in April. We're having autumn now. Just to confused matters further, my nephew's school is having an end of term snow party today, complete with about 40 tonnes of real snow! They are in Yorkshire. It gets cold up there.

I'm not going to offer any advice on the SMP thing, as I am permanently confused by it. I'm steering clear of having any more babies - breaking bones is a bit harder work, but takes less time to get over as a way of getting out of work! Btw, my nanny starts on Monday

I'd be quite happy to go back to work pregnant as they only give me statutory anyway so it's not like they're out of pocket. I'm not sure there's much difference going back pregnant or going back for 3 months and then getting pregnant.

Oh yes - I'm with Alps on the take, take, take thing too. My company is bloody huge, and they would bleed me dry if they could. I'm happy to play the game back and get what I can out of them, so long as it's in the rules. Their rules - I just use them to my advantage!

Oooh, all this talk of second baybees.....

I have less years on my side than you Ski (just turned 39 ), so would like to try for another fairly soon. But not quite yet.....

I don't think I'll be going back to work diffed, but if I had my way I'd be diffed within a very short time of returning. Although apparently many people don't think I will be returning, & they have started a betting book on when & if I return

Thanks for teh secks congrats! I think being ready at 6 weeks was one of the perks of having a c-section plus I was gagging for a good shag

We had another good night with BugBoy - 11pm until 5am. Am liking muchly. If we could co-incide his wake up time with Mr Loz's alarm at 6am that would be ideal. But I'm being fussy. I've always given him a feed round about 10pm & although I've moaned about some nights being rubbish, he really hasn't been too bad since day 1. Pliz not to shout at me, I'm not following Gina Ford to the letter, but I have loosely followed her feeding pattern - 2 smaller feeds early evening, then a big feed at 10pm. Dare I say it seems to work for me. The days I've gone off course have lead to the rubbish nights. However, we have no routine of sleep throughout the day or evening. Meh.

Our T&Cs state that you have to do three months before the 11th week before the baby is due. Not three months before getting diffed. So I could have come back to work pregnant and still got my full mat pay - as long as I worked three months between periods of maternity leave. I've been back more than three months now...

Back to counsellor this avo. And I had my second injection of rheumy drucks yesterday. I have been declared "competent" at stabbing myself with a needle, but also warned that me pee would be highly toxic to my baybee. Good jobs I wan't planning on making her drink it then

Curly - there is loads I've obv missed - just to say hope it goes well with counsellor. Baybeebluz is it? Hum. Snogs.

Very loosely Gina (not a yoghurt) is how I did it too Laurie. hey and soon you'll get your evenings back too . Best tip from her book was black-out blinds as I recall, too.

Don't apologise for doing what works for you lauriepalooza. Only problem I have with Gina/Baby Whisperer/etc is when people end up feeling crappy because it doesn't work for them. If it works for you it's all good.

I am feeling glum about the whole going back to work thing. I would really like to look for a new job, but while I'd be happy to get diffed quickly in current job I don't think I could do it in a new one. I'd want time to settle in and prove my worth. So I'm facing going back to a job I don't really enjoy and it just seems a bit rubbish. Must keep telling myself I'm off until at least March 2012 so don't need to think about it yet.

Hello Muser - yep, don't even think about it til next Feb. March even. Easier said than done, it's true. Mind you, I'm going thru all this stuff too as a result of work. Qu: how do we stop over thinking it?

Oh god, of course Gina etc wld drive you insane if you actually followed them properly. Seem to recall set timetables for each day - down to the minute, ha ha ha - including something about pulling a draw sheet. To this day I don't know what a draw sheet is. Let alone how to pull one.

Totally agree with muser. Do what keeps you sane and don't allow yourself to be dragged down in negativity if it doesn't work out the way you "think" it should. :)

muser If you want a new job then you have a few months on your side to consider exactly "what" might be a good next move and there's absolutely nothing to stop you applying and even attending an interview or two. And as we all know, there are no bloody guarantees with "diffing" - so even if you were to start new job jan/feb, ttc march - it could well be march 2013 before you start maternity anyway! Waaaaay long enough to prove yourself. :)

Guess that means it's safe for you to drink Curls

No idea how to stop dwelling on work stuff. Will be putting LC into nursery twice a week from September so's I can spruce up me CV & start job hunting. Thought that would mean I could forget about it 'til then but no, even today I've been scouring the net just in case the dream job's out there.

On topic of age gaps, I guess having them close together means you won't have forgotten anything . Have started the weaning process with BC and have had to drag out the reference books again as I haven't the foggiest what I'm doing

Ooh, yes please clucks

kim thanks for concern, maybe a wee bit more than the Blews, but happy pills are just magic! (we are building a new wing for the CRESH loonies).

Totally agree about doing what's right for you and baby. And about the all-consuming mindfuck that is work issues. I'm staying put until after number 2 (if there is one) but my brain won't stop rattling with ideas for a home-business. I keep searching job ads, but funnily enough there aren't exactly many any offerings loadsa money for four days a week with little stress. Shame.

Good luck for tomorrow alps.

Good advice kim and welcome back.

Alps you make good points. God knows what I'd do though. The sensible move would be to go into public sector, but they aren't exactly recruiting. Any job in my current field would be the same old shit, different people - and they're mostly not recruiting either. I have no earthly idea what I want to do, especially as I know I want to do it part-time. It's easier at the moment to stick with the devil I know and at least qualify for mat leave.

I'm in same boat muse! Dislike people and job not what I hoped and am bored. Not got time on my side to start job hunting then get lucky and get job, start job and all that Shiz. Fink I gotta grin and bear it.

Thanks for SMP info. If I don't go back after %232 do I have to repay SMP or would it be the additional fancy stuff that I would need to repay?

Saw a Joules shop today and their 20% off sales lure...... Did not give in.

"Any job in my current field would be the same old shit, different people - and they're mostly not recruiting either. I have no earthly idea what I want to do, especially as I know I want to do it part-time. It's easier at the moment to stick with the devil I know and at least qualify for mat leave."

• Nail on head muse! Particularly the same old shit.

Well, counselling was a barrel of laughs today . Spent most of it in tears then had to mumble excuses about hayfever when I picked Squeaks up from nursery straight after. I think I got away with it

Hayfever rife at the mo dear curlysue!

Don't think about work anyone until you need to. Leave it as Kim says. Don't let it spoil your mat leave overthinking work as hard as this can be. (Obv Clucks in slightly different position). What is worth remembering is you plan to get diffed again. I would not hesitate to go back diffed if like Muse and Silv the workplace is not exactly dream job. What was nice last time is I went back, got diffed 3 months in and spent my time back there actually enjoying work (kind of) all safe in the knowledge I was going to have another year "off" (ahem, work is actually easier methinks). The more depressing thing is going back to work after your family is complete... unless you choose or can afford to be a SAHM which is not an option for me.

Lorry I loosely followed Gina too and I have no clue what a draw sheet is either. I kept to strict feed times to ensure she was getting enough milk during the day and in the early days sleep happened more hap hazardly but Peppa slept from 10.30pm through to 7am from 7 weeks (yes I know I am hated by many). Sleep is a lot more like clockwork now she only needs 2 sleeps a day. However I say loosely followed as I do many things my own way. I do think if you look at her feed and sleep timings they totally make sense you just have to throw in a bit of "mother knows best" common sense too. Whichever approach you take - the routine way or the baby led way remember neither is wrong but what approach you will veer towards will be determined by what you are like as a person.

Had a strange occurance today involving vag. Very weird.