April 2011-kicking back drinking lactulose cocktails and riding the maternity surfboards

[Petalouda]

Post-natal thread for all the antenatal April 2011 Family!

Share the birth stories, the baby blues and everything else.

Anyone else in the constant feeding boat.. theres some reassuring stuff from kellymom here.. great site

www.kellymom.com/bf/normal/frequent-nursing.html

thanks for the sympathy!

dappleton - I think we might need to get some of those drops, F's a really loud snuffler/snorer! And re: stitches - mine were still feeling like I might stand up without my insides after 2 weeks. I mean, they were better, but not right still. A short walk round town destroyed me! We're coming up to 5 weeks now and it's all feeling much better. So don't despair! Have you got some diclofenac? I found it brilliant! And pelvic floor exercises helped.

oop, F needs me to pace and talk about the thunderstorms again...

petal, dappleton and cycle I understand the frustration at DH's freedom. He is very good but on some level he doesn't get how tying DS is. He can go out and not worry about how long it takes to get ready or when he has to come back/factor in a feed.

Re: stitches - 10 days on slightly sore, strangely tight feeling. They seem to be doing okay though.

I think every mum goes through the whole jealousy thing with their dp's perceived freedom. It comes as quite a shock that as mum you are number one in your dc's life, when all you had to worry about before was yourself.

I know first time round I was shocked by how resentful I felt and I also suffered from a type of 'touched out' syndrome. I got so sick of constantly having someone attached to me and totally dependant on me that I craved solitude. It's all very normal I think, it is such a big change in your life.

The good news is you don't feel like this forever! The space between feeds gradually gets bigger, you start to accept the situation, and you also start to get more sleep. These all help big time.

I would also say get your dp's involved from the start. Us humans can be lazy and if someone is willing to do everything for us then we let them, so let/make your dp help. DH is great and has always got stuck in, but I had to tell him what to do as he was even more clueless about babies than me.

Tips:

When the baby has seemingly fed constantly for the 4th hour in a row and still won't settle

What ILike said

Don't let your DH/DPs opt out. Weekend nights they should be taking the baby once you've fed and doing the changing/settling etc so that you can get some more sleep. DH takes DS2 out for an hour or two so that I get some headspace and time with DS1 - if DS2 is away from me then he doesn't root for food all the time.

It does get better, honestly. The first couple of months is bloody hard work - I'd forgotten how hard actually!! :)

JKS Hope your son sleeps better tonight, and I hope his break isn't too nasty. Isn't it horrible when your DC are in pain and you can't help.
I agree about the baths, DD is definately getting less than DS did, oh well natural oils are good for the skin and all that
Thanks for your post on my BF/HV thread. I'm feeling a bit more relaxed about it today and DD has seemed pretty happy. She took 2oz of a 3oz top up before lunch but the rest of the time has been content on just the BF and has been happily awake between sleeps.

Ali thanks for advice about trying a squirt of breast milk in George's eyes. It seems to be working!

Liv and JKS thanks for advice about flat heads. Those baby pillows do look a good idea. Think I am probably worrying unneccesarily and I'm sure George's strange shaped head will even up in time.

My Dh went mountain biking for the day y/day. I don't begrudge him going at all but feel a little bit jealous as he can go and spend the day away from G, whereas I am tied to him. Today though DH took DD and George out for a few hours and it was lovely just to have a little time to myself so on the whole DH is great. He goes back to work next week, and i am feeling more than a little apprehensive about how I will cope on Wed when I have dd and George all on my own!
Dd went to the toilet y/day and shouted for me to wipe her bottom but I was feeding George. She had to wait for 10mins for me to finish feeding before I could wipe her pooey arse, poor child.

We have some friends visiting tomorrow, who have a dd who was born very prematurely at only 28 wks in September. I've not seen her since Jan so really looking forward to seeing how much she has grown and changed.

LisMcA and baby Blair Thomas reporting for post natal duty! He's now 18 hours old and our firt night seems to have gone ok. Sruggling to get the latch right. But that's more to do with me being sore from the cs rather than the wee man. MW milked me overnight (there's a phrase I never thought i'd say) and fed him via syringe. He's still quite mucusy so was being sick a bit, but all in all he's fab!

Why did no one warn me about he first few dirty nappies? My god how can something so smal produce something so foul! Poor dh hadit all up his arms and everything!!

I'll be able to get up and about later. I really need a shower! Hope all is well with everyone. It takes ages to read evrything on my phone so I'll have to catch up when I get home!

they're horrible, aren't they?! It's why we were on disposables for the first 5 days because getting that out of cloth is a nightmare. Glad to see your DH is embracing parenthood so enthusiastically though!

BFing experts I have a question. DS is a fab little feeder apart from the slightly chafed nipple but he's not draining part of my right breast effectively and it's feeling quite lumpy. The problem is that it's the upper outer part of the breast and the fab advice about aligning chin with lump is impossible unless I put him over my shoulder. Any ideas for positions/remedies before I get hideously blocked ducts?

Also he went nearly 4 hours twice in the night so my boobs felt ready to burst and my breast pad was completely soaked - how long before my supply regulates itself a bit and I can cope with potentially 8 hours between feeds from each boob? Despite him having fed off it nearly 2 hours ago it still feels quite hot and heavy. What to do?

Frak you will find that your supply will gradually regulate itself when feeds start getting further apart at night. I know the breasts about to burst feeling from when I fed dd and waking up to soaked nightie, bed sheets from leaking boobs! I've yet to experience it with ds as he never goes more than 3 hrs without waking and wanting feeding. At the moment if your breasts are v full after 4 hours I would probably try to feed ds, will he feed whilst half asleep?

Re your right breast. I found that gently kind of massaging/rolling back of hand over lumpy area whilst feeding seemed to help to drain it. Or perhaps try a different feeding position, eg rugby ball hold (although I never got the hang of this!) My Ds seems to latch on and drain my right breast more effectively than my left, but I think thats to do with having different shaped nipples on either side (wierd I know)

Lis congratulations!! Yes the meconium is fun isn't it?? T decided to overwhelm his first ever nappy so that it all ran down his leg - all over my Mum when she came up to visit!!

Frak it will settle down, but with DS1 I used to still get a really leaky boob if he went longer than expected between feeds until he was probably 4 months old. On one memorable occasion I leaked so much that the breast pad was overcome, so was my vest, t-shirt and wrap over knitted cardi! He was at least 14 weeks old at that point, and we were out at baby massage. I fed him even though he wasn't asking, and went straight home to change!
I'm not sure there is much you can do, expressing only exacerbates the problem by demanding supply that he doesn't need. I would just feed from that breast again next feed, even though it isn't it's 'turn', and then just offer the other side for him to take a little off to prevent the same problem on the other side next feed. Over time it will sort itself out.

With your right breast, make a fist with your right hand, and as he is feeding comb your knuckles down the breast towards the nipple. Start right back in your armpit.
You can use breast compression to stop it happening in the first place if there is an area that doesn't get drained that well. When he is feeding make a flat hand and gently press the area, again do it fairly far back towards the edge of your breast tissue. This helps to drain the breast evenly and prevent the lumpiness.

Jen - I'm not leaky this time, or only rarely, and my supply has regulated already. Maybe it all happens faster with second babies? I have differently shaped nipples too - including a milk duct on the side of my left nipple - bizarre!!

We had a better night last night, thank goodness. DH and I were so grumpy with each other yesterday, competitive tiredness and all sorts. All better after some decent sleep!

Morning Afternoon again folks!

Well done Lis - welcome little Blair!

JKS I only skimmed your post yesterday, what a nightmare - hope your DS has a smooth recovery and it stops being sore soon.

I think I've finally lost my mind - we've just arranged to do a 4-day tour of the south visiting various people who can't make it down to meet F. How are we going to survive 4 days away from a washing machine?! (I'm sure my mum will be falling over herself to wash stuff if we need it really!) How am I going to cope with 4 days away from my sofa nest?! Following Thursday's debacle, I've already made it clear to DH that he's going to have to look after me & F - including feeding me overnight (I'm currently having bowls of cereal at 2 & 4 am!). We have to do this, we've got to get used to going away. (Oh crap, just remembered the cat - we might have to take her with us too...) Eek.

Now, do I wait for it to stop raining to go on a chocolate mission to the shop, or just put the plastic thing on the pram and get wet...? Oh the dilemmas!

JKS forgot to ask how is your DS doing with his broken leg? Poor boy, how old is he?

And more importantly how are you?

Waves furiously at everyone and passes out the excess Easter eggs I've come home to

Well, glad to join you at last, hope everyone is well, I'm not on here very much at the moment as I still have a drain attached due to an internal bleed so have to spend most of my time resting, but hey hoe Amelia is just a joy, such a good baby, one night feed and sleeps for several hours or stares lovingly at us for hours with a few coos and squeaks and that's about as stressful as it gets. We are, I know (I have a big family) truly blessed. Breastfeeding is going great, the first few days I got cracked nipples but after some in depth help from the nurses each feed for two days, we now make quite the team!

Hello again ladies. Have now read the rest of this thread and caught up with everything, I think. Good news is we seem pretty typical according to everyone elses posts - thanks for sharing :) Hazel and I seem well, breast feeding good and my stitches fine (another 2nd degree tear and graze here). Hazel is gorgeous and we're both smitten...

Bad news is I'm missing my DH even though he's technically with us on paternity leave for now! Missing US time and cuddles and feeling bad as he looks so tired and fed up too. We've tried to go out a couple of times with limited success. I'm also weepy at times without actually having sad thoughts if that makes sense! Dreading him going back to work, not because I won't cope but because I think I'll be lonely and have too much time to think. Moved house 2 weeks before Hazel was born and although its not far from our old house I don't have many friends in the close area (I used to travel to work and meet friends on route, few of whom have kids) and my family is about an hours drive away. At the moment Hazel is getting harder and harder to settle, wanting to be held all night (and today all day) so im really tired and my mum keeps saying I look ill which isn't helping either. I think Hazel has wind at night as her cries seem to start with straining noises and her bringing her knees up so I've tried excluding almost everything from my diet but it hasn't helped.

Questions for the collective wisdom: Is Infacol effective and do chemists sell it over the counter? Lately though she stops crying immediately on being picked up so DH is wondering if we should let her settle in her crib rather than holding her her all night in order to stop bad habits - she's 12 days now - what do you think? Also considering co sleeping but there isn't a wall on either side of the bed so would she have to sleep in the middle and if so how do you manage duvet and pillows? Finally, any ideas when she might get into a pattern of sleep and settling, even if it means 2 hourly feeds? I'm sure I'd feel better if I had a time limit in sight (even if it moves when we get nearer)! Thanks for reading the winge :)

Tinwe you sound very much like how I felt a couple of days ago - (George is 13 days today) they sell infacol on the shelves in the supermarket. definitely give it a go... i wasnt sure it was our problem but does seem to have helped. I can't help with the sleeping as this is only solved for us by having baby in our bed but on the outside next to the bedside crib that he wont sleep in

I did start a seperate thread about wanting to be held all the time and I think this is very normal, and the advice is that its too early to be worrying about bad habits. I do feel for you though... this is my first baby so no idea about timescales I've heard many times though that the first 6 weeks are the hardest and I'm hanging on to that!

The first 6 weeks are truly the hardest, I remember coming out of a fog with DS1 around then - and he fed 2-hourly for most of those 6wks!
DS2 I knew it wasn't endless so didn't stress so much.
This time round I'm much more with it already although DD does have longer gaps than 2 hours most of the time

I've got DH to get some Infacol today, I remember it helping with ds1. DD not impressed with the taste, lol. But she has been 'clenching' her tummy and complaining. Often when they get picked up they will stop crying as they are upright, and therefore more comfortable.

We have DD in our bed, everyone seems to sleep better that way, we have a big bed and she goes between the pillows at the head end, or sometimes leant slightly upright on my arm.
(DD is 11days old now, wow time is flying)

I'm thinking of aiming for more of a structure/bedtime routine/her own crib from about 4wks plus from memory.
Depends on her feeding though really.

Salted - hello!! & congratulations :)

Jen - DS1 is 4, 5 in 2 weeks. We will have to postpone/cancel his planned soft play birthday party :( He has been much better today though, has had a go with his zimmer frame, lol and gone up & down the stairs on his bum so feeling a lot braver about trying things.
He was up again last night crying after an accident, 3rd night running. It's so weird as he never had one accident when we took the pull-ups off & only once got up in the night for a wee. Now he seems to need wees & poos every night & never wakes DH in time to get to the loo.

I'm OK thanks, sometimes feeling a bit deprived of the 'looking after' i would have got from DH now that he has to care for DS1 too but i know it's a bit selfish as really I'm fine and don't need looking after. Stitches are still fine, got a couple more days of painkillers then we'll see for real i guess.

Have just got huge boobs, lol! Biggest ever - and normally i'm a very small 34A. Have ordered some bigger bravado bras to start with (I have S+ from the boys, so ordered S++) but do need a trip to town to get measured/try out some sizes, could be either a 34E! or 36B depending what website i look at
Plus i have some too small outfits for DD to try and exchange.

Your poor ds JKS, is there anything else they can give him to control the pain?

Congrats on the arrival of Blair lis, so happy for you

wrt co-sleeping. routines, feeds and 'making a rod for your own back', my advice would be do what works for you and your baby and sod all of the other info that others want to impart. It's a tough time and a magical time and it can often be overshadowed by spending time, money and effort on trying to get 'it right' - whatever that means. We seem to have forgotten that the babies don't read the manuals and that they aren't programmable!

It's normal for them to want to constantly feed and be attached to you, it's how our race survived. So my advice is accept it and go with the flow, so much easier than trying to fix it. My sister gave me that advice when I was finding being a mum so overwhelming and all consuming and it's probably been the best advice I received, and something I keep reminding myself of as well.

Ladies, I will be joining you soon hopefully, clear waters just popped in the garden. In labour excited not at all scared. Will you pray for baby and I if you are that way inclined?

arch - thinking of you, you are already doing brilliantly :)

look forward o hearing baby news soon.

Good luck Arch will be thinking of you and look forward to reading of baby's safe arrival.

ohh good luck Arch will be thinking of you tonight!

Thinking of you arch, hope to hear all about it soon :)

Just keep sounds hard work, poor you and poor DS1

Thanks for advice all. After a very screamy day, I have come to the conclusion that H does not like being on her back and definitely suffers from pain from wind. Correction - we ALL suffer due to her trapped wind! DH cant believe there's all this fuss over a few trumps! Makes sense that she quietens when picked up as its more comfy for her as she is otherwise lovely though. Will try to get infacol tomorrow if i can find it in a supermarket.

Good luck for a quiet and peaceful night all (except arch of course!)

Well blair appears to have settled for the night. Shame the other 2 babies we are sharing witb are screaming their heads off.

Just popping in to see if there's any May babies yet, Looks like Arch will be the first. I can't believe my DD is a month old already, the weeks have gone so quickly.

Goodnight Lis, I didn't mind the other babies crying when I was in hospital, but I did seeth quietly at the DH of the lady in the bed next to mine who never seemed to go home and was always talking loudly on his mobile phone and bumping DD's cot through the curtain

Arch Hope all goes well and I will say a prayer for you, I wouldn't describe myself as very religious, we go to church occassionally as my FIL is the parish church organist but I mainly go because I like the sense of community it provides. Saying that though I was surprised how emotional I felt when our lovely lady vicar came to visit me in hospital when DD was a day old and gave her a blessing.

Salted If you're passing the Easter Eggs around I'll have a Caramel Egg please