FEB 2010 Longer out than in and first Christmases around the corner...we're 9 months on.

[InmaculadaConcepcion]

Shiny new thread, as promised fellow FEBers!

Figured we would start another new one to mark first birthdays, bethlou, so I've held fire on referencing that landmark in this thread title - hope that's okay with y'all!

Anyway, welcome everybody, pull up a comfy chair, someone get the wine out and I'll open a huge box of chocolates for us all to share.

Evening all

Actually I was thinking about that thread a few days ago. I remember you joining us late on, IC, as I thought your name was brilliant, then stealing all our thunder by being one of the first to deliver. When you go 11 days overdue you remember stuff like that! I am so envious of those who are planning another baby. I would love one but we have decided that financially it would cripple us.

My plan for the new year is to get back to being the old me. I seem to have lost a lot of my self confidence. I have to lose my mummy tummy as, rather pathetically I know, much of my confidence is tied up in how I look. I am back to work in April and want to be brave enough to change jobs if I am unhappy there (as I expect to be). But rather more pressing is my resolution to get ds to sleep better. I plan to start pu/pd tomorrow. I get cold sweats just thinking about it!

I also want to thank you all for being around this year. I read all the time even if I don't get chance to post very often. Those planning dc2 will soon identify with this! I find is so reassuring when someone comes on to say they are struggling a bit because I find it hard to admit stuff like that in real life.

Thank you one and all and happy happy new year.

sorry Chinook I knew I'd forget a few people. My excuse is you probably didn't post that week.

hug to chinook

I think the hardest in sleep training is to take the decision to do it. So good luck for tomorrow.

good luck for tomorrow chinook

I think we'll hold caring about DD's sleep until we get back from the UK in Feb now.

If it helps (Regards me leaving you out, turned out you had a great time at your sisters and it was very relaxing), I thought for ages that the thread didn't like me, especially since I wasn't added to the who's expecting list. Worried for ages I'd committed some kind of faux pas.

Right, well I'm off home in 10 mins. If DD can stay asleep unaided, then I'm going to spend some quality time with DH.

Pinch, punch, first of the month!

Happy New Year, ladies!

Good luck with beating the diabetes and TTC, GF!

Likewise, huge support for the sleep training, chinook. The little bit I did with DD made me feel sick to my stomach, it's not easy, is it? But sometimes it's necessary, for their sleep as well as ours.
And good luck with the tummy reduction and the job situation. I think most of us would admit that our confidence is linked to how we look. And small children certainly play havoc with one's appearance, don't they?

On the subject of sleep, DD knew something was up last night and needed resettling three times while our friends were here. Including at midnight, typically! So I missed the 12 grapes for luck thing the Spanish do (you have to eat a grape for each bong of the midnight chimes) and welcoming in the New Year until ten mins or so after the event. Ah well. TBH, although it was nice to see our friends and DH cooked up a storm (with a little bit of input from me), I think I would have been just as happy with an early night...!

I used to volunteer to work on Xmas Day to ensure my New Year's Eve carousing and rarely got to bed before 05.00 after some hard partying.

Plus ca change!

at trumping almost everyone on the thread with DD's early delivery...
Mind you, if I get lucky ttc with the next one, I would rather carry it to term. I suspect DD's early problems with feeding and digestion (not to mention sleep, possibly) were linked to her prematurity.

I remember mawbroon saying she didn't want to give birth early as babies are much easier to look after when they're inside and how right she is! (She got her wish too, as she went overdue I seem to recall...)

Happy New Year to all!
I only lasted till kathmandu (20h30 here).
No sleep for 2 days now not only DD2 but DH and the dogs....

You have all been very eloquent and I don't have much to add. So thanks all for your support and being there. That is true that in RL others mums seem so competent it is quite a downer, and it is difficult to talk. Not that you are an incompetent bunch ! but we are all struggling together IYNWIM.

I also miss women interactions being an expat, my friends coming and going.

Chinook hugs, and good luck.
It is true that often, even on MN, there is a little group who is in the know and it is easy to feel left out! I also notice that it usually takes me so long to post that I miss 2 or 3 posts and that makes me sounds like an insensitive loopy! But at least we can rant and ask for help without being judged (much?)

My new year resolution was getting rid of the dummy which DD2 decided to do on her own a few weeks back!
I have to rub her back now and let her complain a little .

Like BC I will try to be less grumpy with DH. Drink less too

I am not sure about toddler taming but DD2 is definitely entering her terrible 2s now! She is such a character it is actually funny. At least she knows what she wants! She has started the year by walking over all the house waving her arms and loudly "talking" about something...

Very cute pictures.

IC Did your hispanic friends made it on time for the cheers? My best friend here was spanish (she left, sniff!) we always had to start without her and see how the day/night went . That is why mobile phones are so indispensable.

See what I mean! IC manage to squeeze a post while I was typing

Happy New Year to you all! Tried to post from my phone late last night (too lazy to get off the sofa away from the fire to fetch laptop ) but it vanished twice so I gave up.
You lot made me cry yesterday with your review of the past year, new resolutions, good wishes... . Not that it takes a lot these days to make me blub... Is that a side effect of having children?

lkfvn jh cmlgdcv dcjcc

(Those are dd2's resolutions for the new year )

Happy New Year

DS resolution today was to sleep up to 7.30am and then to be tired because he didn't nap!

Today's programme is to go to the pub and clean yesterday's mess DS will help by been in his walker or standing holding on an empty keg of beer!

Dd2's New Year's Resolutions:

1. I will try to be good and not bite Mama when I kiss her
2. I will learn to walk and then run so I can catch my sister and follow my Mama around the house better
3. I will learn to eat all by myself without putting bread in my ear and keeping food for later by stuffing it behind myself in the highchair so that it sticks to my bottom when Mama lifts me out
4. I will continue to be delightfully cute and show off my dimple whenever possible
5. I will stop chewing hair bands
6. I will learn to speak more so that I don?t have to throw myself backwards in despair when Mama picks the ?wrong? book to read at bedtime
7. I will do lots more splashing in the bath with my sister and aim to make my Mama very wet
8. I will spend lots of time playing and cuddling and exploring and learning new things
9. I will grow more teeth

10. I will continue to sleep really well?

ysy DD is better :)

She slept in 1 hr chunks from about 10pm last night. (After over 24 hrs only sleeping in 5 mins).

Still not fully better but at least she got some sleep. Poor thing, it was horrible for her, it looked like she crying in her sleep.

BG that could be my DS resolutions. It's soo cute, I could cry reading it (quickly go and wipe the tears away).

PA good luck with the sleeping.

Our cleanig at the pub was fine (far less messy than on the previous years) but it transformed itself on a drinking session!

I love your DD's resolutions, BG - both sets!

Glad to hear your DD is on the mend, PA. It's awful when they're poorly, but the crap sleep is much easier to forgive when that's the case.

Let's hope your DH behaves himself then, mamaloco

A drinking session, GF, How shocking(!)

We've just had a second tricky bedtime on the trot. DD just didn't want to settle, took more than half an hour to do so - usually she goes straight down, I leave the room and that's it.

Tonight I had to go back in and ended up sitting quietly in the feeding chair by her cot while she whinged and fidgeted until she finally went off.

I think it may be a combination of separation anxiety and not being tired enough at bedtime. I may move bedtime a bit later - by 15 mins to start with, then another 15 mins.

After all, DD has consistently slept for a total of 10.5 hours per night for months now, no matter what her waking pattern is, so that seems to be the optimum amount for her. In which case, when she finally does sleep through, she'll wake very early if her bedtime is still 07.00-07.30.

Mind you, it might be linked to the 9moSR and pass again in a couple of weeks (to be fair, this is only the second day of this...)

Any thoughts?

IC I do find it amusing (after the fact) that one/two bad days of something and we're all thinking the worse. They drag out for so long that it feels like it's lasted forever.

Sorry no proper thoughts, but DD's sleep is always worse after an upheaval, not during it and you have been all over the place lately. My advice, find a strategy and stick to it because I change me mind every 10 mins.

Good luck for tonight

Happy New Year from snowy Vermont! We finally got here at one in the morning on the 29th. DD was and has been an absolute angel. She played for a couple of hours on the flight, I stuck her on the boob and she just slept the remaining six hours so really good. We then had to wait for two hours in the airport for a four hour bus to Vermont where we were picked up by my family. DD was so, so good, she also slept the whole way despite the fact that it was pretty uncomfortable. We're hoping she is just as good on the way home... next Tuesday!

I've just read all the posts I've missed and someone asked what DP does... BC or Chinook but can't remember... he is a sound engineer for live bands so has been on tour with the same band this year... but thank God it's over and he is going to be around for the next couple of months - YIPPEE!

PA amazing review of where we all were a year ago! I can't believe how things have changed and how naive we all were... I wish someone would have told me to stop moaning and just SLEEP!

Jet lag has been very difficult here. Poor DD is exhausted by the evening and crashes into bed at 6.30 (11.30 UK time) and then up for the day at 3! Yikes!

IC I remember you joining so clearly because you and I were due around the same time (DD was supposed to arrive on February 25th and didn't show up until March 7th)... and suddenly your DD arrived and we were all following your DH on the blog trying to get into the damn hospital in Madrid and being told to go home, and I think we all felt his frustration!

Chinook I know exactly what you mean about feeling left out on that list! And good luck with the sleep training...

My DD has three teeth coming through but she is still in good spirits. She also has funny curls at the back having been practically bald for so long. Hilarious!

I have to go and have dinner so I am going to post this now and maybe rejoin tomorrow... having some drinks and playing scrabble (just beat everyone so feeling rather chuffed!).

My New Year's resolutions are to be less short with DP, to have more sex and TTC, to cook more for all of us (not just for DD) and to start painting with a view to making a contribution to the household kitty!!!

Anyway, thank you all for being so supportive. I hope we carry on sharing our experiences through 2011!

Thanks IC Any idea on sleep training for a 38 yo?

Asb good that you made it on time for NYE. My cousin should be close to you! small world!

PA you weren't showing off, there is NO way you can hold babies for more than 10 min (I am being generous) once they start walking. I had to hold DD2 for a doc appointment may be for only 15 min in total, it was like having a rugby match, I was exhausted!

IC no wisdom, but both mine have a 10h night. I let them choose their bedtime though because keeping awake a baby who wants to sleep is very hard work and counter productive IME. DD1 was 18h (yeah that is a 4 am waking!), good that DD2 can last already till 20h. I just deal with the early waking for a few years... Now I feel that 7 am is a late waking, ha ha ha ha...
OK it is early, but you can do a lot during that time, and it is much easier to deal with a happy contented baby than to struggle and fight for a bed time that "suits' you.
I have a friend who is adamant that her DS1 (3) must have the family diner at 20h with his dad (i.e. at least 22h bedtime). He is so bad during the day and unbearable for bedtime that we have actually cancelled our plan to visit them so we can rest properly and not have to babysit her son [awful person emoticon].

If you can you should work around your baby natural clock. IMO

OK! so DD2 continues her BLW by drinking her sister milk (well! spilling it and drinking from the floor might be a closer picture of the truth), she is now very upset if we eat something different than her .
BTW it is not on here if I let her she will probably be taken away by SS . I do lie at the docs saying that she only have chicken and no other meats or fishes so we can focus on what is wrong with her rather than her diet

mamaloco DD feeding. Can I ask why your DD should only have chicken? My DS eats most meat and fishes.

Abs fab news that you made it and great your DD gave you a big flight.

Bad night for DS who woke up at 12.10am, I left him to cry before intervening when he started choking because of his tantrum, then he resettled while holding my hand (something I managed to stop last month ) but every times he was falling asleep and I was taking my fingers back, he started again. So took me 2 hours to getting him back to sleep. DH this morning took him for a drive to give me a rest

Quite a few of us going to TTC this year, let see who will be 1st!!!!

GF I have no idea I guess it is cultural. I have tried to stuffed both DDs with fishes since there were 6 months .
DD2 will eat anything, banana skin, Xmas tree needles, parma ham, marsipan.... all not allowed. I don't know how to stop her she is quick! The only way is to have a completely empty house filled with bread, soups, cucumber and apple

or even "they were"

How odd, but I guess you're right, it may be cultural As long as she is happy and healthy, I would give her whatever you eat if she wants it (it also make cooking easier!)

Great news on your holiday, Abs! Very impressed with your DD's traveling, what a relief. Having a cranky baby on a long-haul must be every parent's nightmare (not to mention everyone in the seats nearby....!)
I bet Vermont's looking absolutely gorgeous...
You said you're meeting your family - are you of American extraction, then? Or is it a planned group holiday?

Yes, I looked back at the blog during a sentimental moment the other day and recalled DH's near-panic and frustration at being kept apart from me and DD when she was born. I remember feeling pretty calm throughout, but impatient the whole time I was in intensive care (unnecessarily, but that's the way they do it here) to meet DD properly and start getting to know her.

In fact, that's one of the reasons why we're returning to the UK. Although we couldn't fault the medical care, next time I have a C section (because, let's face it, if we're successful at conceiving reasonably quickly, that will be the only birth option) I want to have skin-to-skin with my baby straight after birth (assuming no pressing medical issues) and try for a first feed and recover side-by-side.
The only thing the Spanish do better is that partners can stay overnight in your room, which was a godsend while we were in hospital. That's still a rare thing in the UK. BUT in our case, it wouldn't matter, because probably DH would be with DD overnight to try and minimise the disruption to her.

ANYWAY all that is very much theoretical and in the future.....

Good advice, thanks mamaloco and also for your input, PA! We'll see how DD is at bedtime tonight, although I will probably start it a little later and see what happens.

After last night's bedtime antics, she had an ok night, waking at 02.30 then at 05.45, whereupon she came in with me and we both dozed off and on until 08.00.

at your DD2's diet, mamaloco!!
Sleep training at 38...? Is that for your DH, then?

Tough night for you, GF. I hope tonight is better.

I was reading Dr Green (Toddler Taming) and his thoughts on CC - he's very much in favour, btw. He doesn't object to people using the technique from 6 months on, but says studies have shown it's not always as effective, can take much longer and often needs to be repeated. BUT it will still often work, with persistence. He says the older the child is, the better and quicker the success rate (100% for children over 2, usually within 3 days.)

If DD continues her current level of wakefulness, I'll stick with it for a while as it's manageable. But I will probably use CC if she's still waking overnight at 18 months.

Right, DH is on buggy nap duty and I've got various jobs to do....

Hasta pronto!

Blimey, what an essay - sorry

Not a newbie. Just me GuernseyFrench

Just to let you know of my new name StoneBaby