June 08 - 79 days (and counting) til Christmas, has Deb started her shopping yet?!

[KnittingisbetterthanTherapy]

Thought we should update the thread!

no call today . fingers crossed for tomorrow

Question for Neenz and those with more than 1 kid. How the hell do you get them in bed at night? I just thought it takes 10 minutes to get Luke to bed which is faffing and singing songs and having cuddles. That's at 8. I would assume the babies would go to bed earlier but what do I do with Luke on my own whilst trying to get two newborns off to sleep? Mark will never be there at bedtimes so I will have to do it solo.

Amber DVDs :) That's what I did anyways. And for a while Fraser went to bed later than Duncan (because he was breastfed and that took a while) and I started to just leave him with some toys in his cot while I read D a story and sang to him. It's not ideal, but it does teach them valuable lessons about sharing and taking turns...

fingers crossed Deb.

Amber I've always done bedtime on my own. I put the ones close in age to bed at the same time. If the babies are in the room with you when you're reading to Luke it will help to get them used to the whole idea of "bedtime". Or I guess that when they are very new, there's a chance they'll be asleep anyway when you're putting Luke to bed so it will be a nice opportunity to have some special time with him. tbh, when there are v small babies around, safety and sanity will probably override any other plans

Deb this uncertainty must be awful for you .

I made our Christmas cake today! It is sitting on a rack cooling down and making the house smell lovely.

for you Deb.

Keeping everything crossed for you Deb.

Amber, M was in his bouncer/on the floor when he was a tiny baby while I sorted A, then as A got older I would sometimes leave him to watch tv if it was going to be a short time, or take books upstairs and let A sit with me and read books while feeding M.

It's a juggling act but we somehow muddle through!

Had a very sad phone call from the PILs tonight - two of their friends, an old couple in their 80s, were killed in a car crash yesterday. They were a lovely lovely couple - dh has known them since he was a baby and I have met them a few times. They really lived life to the full (the husband canoed down the Amazon three years ago, at the age of 83 ) and it's so hard to believe they have gone. We had made plans to take M down to meet them in the New Year . They think he had a heart attack and their car hit a wall.

Just makes you think . . .

gosh 10 minutes is impressive - it took me about 2 1/2 hours to get my two to bed last night - I ended up sobbing on my bed with Liam there - very un grown up parenting! so whatever we're doing - don't do that!! Talking to GP today about paed referral - I think what we have going on at home is beyond the norm.

Knitting so sorry to hear about your PIL's friends, they sound amazing and it will be such a loss.

Deb fingers crossed! Can you phone anyone and find out what's going on? We were held up at one point because some solicitors' phone lines weren't working and no-one thought to, say, use a mobile it's such a crap crap process but you're nearly there, really hope it all goes through for you.

10 minutes is seriously impressive Amber. It regularly takes 1 - 11/2 hours hear (inc bath). Mind you, I completely blame DH for that!

Terrible night here - a wave of insomnia crept over the house. S ended up in bed with us, and the three of us ended up tossing and turning all night, with not much sleep had by any of us. As it's a weekday, no luxury of a lie in this morning, but S was not impressed when I tried to wake him. He promptly got up, gathered his dummies and his cuddly toy to run back to his own bed and promptly went back to sleep! It was very cute (if a little infuriating!)

Is anyone else still using dummies for night time sleep btw? I'd wanted to make an attempt and giving them up by now, but as his sleep has been so erratic over the last few months it seems more sensible to wait a bit longer and negotiate a handing over to the dummy fairy?

Systems - I hope all goes well with the appt today. I'm glad that you're on a path to hopefully identify whether any support is needed.

Deb - hope you get the magic call early today!

I meant 'here' not 'hear' obv

Actually 10 minutes is not bad is it?! That is after bath and milk etc though. I moved his bedtime to 8pm instead of 7.30 and he is ready then so ormally asleep by 10 past after I've sung I can sing a rainbow about 20 times!!

DOmestic Luke hasn't had a dummy for ages but he just didn't want them anymore one day. He does still have milk out of a bottle though and won't drink it any other way. He has a bottle of milk at night and in the morning. I kind of like it! I igure he'll give that up when he's ready too so not overly bothered. Maybe S will aslo do it?

Systems good lukc at the GP today!
Deb - any news?

Knitting - how terrible. You always hear of people in car crashes but always on the news - not anyone you know. It sounds like they had a wonderful life - how sad it couldn't have continued for longer

Thanks for all the bed advice all. I think it'll probably be a case of suck it and see. MArk and I were lamenting the fact we have nobody to help us out again yesterday. You know we don;t even have anyone to call on if I go into labour. We're going to have to pay for MArk's Dad and his wife to fly over around my due date but if I go into labour before then we are truly screwed. We have MArk's uncle who can do babysitting but he wouldn't know what to do about feeding Luke or putting him to bed. Hmmm - what to do...

Amber do you know any mums of two or more, even vaguely, through toddler groups or anything? Having gone through the worry of 'omg what do I do if I go into labour' I have offered several times to be an emergency contact to people around here having babies with toddlers - even if you don't know them that well, if someone has been in that position then they are often very willing to help out or just be a name on a list. And what about neighbours, do you know anyone living close by who could help out in an emergency?

Also: you could train up Mark's uncle pronto! I wrote a book of instructions for anyone who might need to look after Liam when I had Caitlin, in words of one syllable for anyone not used to kids.

Is there any professional help available? I know you've had night nannies before - is it worth contacting them and seeing if they'd be able to come in in an emergency? Would be ££ but at least it would be peace of mind?

systems, FWIW I think you're doing the right thing. Are you getting support from your school? Some are better than others and I hope you have a good one.

DG, do you think S would give his dummies to FC in exchange for a special present? I know a few friends who have done this with huge success. Lots of talk about FC needing them for other children and how he's so pleased S can give his away he wants to give him a special present, etc. .

Amber, do you have local friends that you can rope in? That's what friends of ours are doing. She's due next week but both sets of parents live in Scotland (and both work) so can't get help there. She has a long list of local friends who are on standby to help out. We all have children too so it's going to be complicated and may involve dragging her DD out of bed in the middle of the night but needs must.

I was also impressed by the 10 min bedtime! Much longer here although getting better. Boys slept through til 6.45 this morning which makes getting up so much easier.

Special note to AH, if you haven't seen it on FB already, A has completely fallen in love with his balance bike . So much so that he woke up the night before last and asked for it at midnight! But we're chuffed we've turned a corner with it and hope to get him out on the pavement this weekend.

As for our friends, IKWYM about reading it on the news but never thinking it will happen to someone you know. It is ironic cos we were only telling a friend of ours about them yesterday and how much joie de vivre they had and how fit and active they were, etc. Little did we know they were already dead . The only small consolation is that they died together - we went to a funeral in the summer of a another of Matt's parents' friends who died of cancer. Her widower is bereft without her. I know when I go (and I hope it's not for decades yet) I would rather go with dh then be left without him.

Anyway, sorry about that maudlin post - just feeling a bit reflective today. Off to physio now . . .

x-posted with systems

Knitting, so sorry to read about your friends. In your shoes, I would also take some small consolation that they went together, but also that they clearly managed to pack in some amazing experiences into their twilight years - so many people their age have had their retirement blighted by poor health, bereavement or poverty.

On the dummy front - I was soooooo hoping someone would come on and say they're still using them at nigh ttime (there's time yet though ). I think we will go down the exchange for a present type route Knitting - it's just that the last few months have been pretty wearing on the sleep front and I don't want to do anything to jeopardise it just yet! He does only have them for night time sleeping and we're very strict about not letting him talk with it in. He's a bit funny at night - even when he's asleep he knows exactly where they all are (he usually takes a couple to bed) so if he drops one he can manage to retrieve it without so much as a murmur.

Lol DG, sorry to disappoint! My boys have never taken to dummies (despite lots of effort with M! ). A had one briefly but literally spat it out at about 4mths and never took it up since.

A fair few of my friends kids still have them though - not sure when they're planning to get rid, but I would try and do it this Christmas if you can .

Damn right there is, Domestic! Iestyn still has dummies at night. (Yes, that's plural - he has three!) And also for naps as well. It sounds a lot like your situation really.
I think there are people on here who know that about Iestyn but were far too polite to name and shame me!
And - easy life wanted - I don't care too much; he can't (and usually won't) have them during the day, and I'm in no real rush to get rid of them just yet. Maybe I will at Christmas. Or maybe I'll deal with it when he drops his daytime nap. Or maybe he'll have them for ever. I went for such a long time with a bad sleeper I'll do pretty much anything these days!!

Amber I'm in London for Christmas, and will be there for two weeks at least, if not more; I guess that could be a critical time for you? I'm happy to be on call, and in London there's two of us and only one child so it's not too tricky.

Got to go - all sorts of strange things going on in my department at the moment.

Domestic I wouldn't feel bad about the dummy situation. I would give Luke a nuclear bomb if I thought it would keep him in bed an hour longer!

We are a bit rubbish on the friends front as everyone lives far away and with kids of their own. I do have my friend Rosemary - childless and in London and I'm sure she would say yes but Luke doesn't really know her. I think training Uncle Alan is the best idea. It would only be for one day but Uncle Alan is a panicker! He's a bit OCD. Hey ho. Needs must I guess. Tis a pain though.

Knitting I also don't want to die before Mark. He'd be much better without me than I would without him as he has his family. He wouldn't cope with the kids though so I am hoping nothing like this happens for at least 50 years!

Yay for Dewin . Actually, S does have it sometimes for daytime naps, but more often than not now we 'engineer' a daytime nap i.e. put a dvd on for him to fall asleep to or a well-timed car ride. It's such a faff trying to put him down for a daytime nap in his bed I've given up. He does go down for an hour at nursery without a dummy though.

Sorry to hear of your woes Amber. Can't think of anything that hasn't already been suggested so hope you sort something out.

I MUST go and do some revision!

Amber I'd put as many people as you can on an emergency childcare list, and maybe give your friend a chance to practise with Luke too before you go in. There was one point with Caitlin where I was about 8 days overdue and everyone on my list suddenly became unavailable, through no fault of their own, which was a bit scary! Don't panic though, if you talk to people it does all work out somehow. I've never yet heard of a toddler being left home alone while mum produces sibling(s) honestly this is one situation where people are very ready and willing to help.

The other thing I found is that I was really worried about who would be able to look after Liam properly, right up until the moment I had 2 - then suddenly I was willing to palm him off on absolutely anybody, even if they had no childcare experience at all, to get a bit of peace!

@ systems - I was having a talk like this with one of my NCT friends yesterday. How we would definitely not leave our kids at nursery when No 2 arrived and would always pick them up early, etc. Er, yer, didn't happen!!

Dewin, it didn't cross my mind about Iestyn actually! I honestly couldn't tell you which LOs on here have dummies and which don't - in fact I thought Luke was a dummy refuser like A so shows you how much I know . My prejudice against them as the toddlers get older is really only formed by my teaching background - we have a FIVE year old at school who still has bottles and dummies and a lot of speech issues as a [possible] result. Mind you, he's paddling in a pretty shallow gene pool which probably has more to do with it!

Oh and Amber, I second what systems says about people's willingness to help. My mum had recently moved to a new area when she went into labour with the twins and ended up calling on a neighbour she had only recently met (another mum) to look after me and my sister when she went in.

The other option is nursery staff - ours do babysitting and we had considered putting them on our list of contacts. They know Luke almost as well as you do, so would be perfect in that respect.

Just spoke to GP, Liam's been referred to specialist child development centre in the local area (which I didn't even know existed!) Might be a month or so before we see them but that's OK, I will get my researcher head on and start to log his behaviour so we have some data to work with. It'll also give us a chance to see how he settles down at school.

We have one of those, they're very good. A short wait for an appointment too which is great.

Can you instigate a home/school book with his teacher so you can get feedback from her too? She can see you're being very proactive in getting you/him help/advice, so she should be willing to do her part too.

Have any of you seen this?

Ah Dewin thanks - I'll put you on the list too!!! My friend has emailed me and wants to come round to do some practice so that's brilliant.

Oh I must say on a totally different note I am onsessed with the only way is Essex!!!