Jan 2009 - molars, movers and shakers

[stripeywoollenhat]

there you go

Dog - Hope sweep goes ok, can you set up a cinema room for other two? Totally understand how you feel with your Mum. Is it just me or does everyone feel their parents getting more of a burden lately? It must be my age, but both the PILs and my Mum seem to need more from me than I need from them nowadays iyswim. It's quite frightening, am not sure if I can cope with the responsibility.

HKZ - Look up Peter Farrell on google scholar, he has done quite a bit of research on SEBD including assessment and intervention. I think you'll struggle to access much without ATHENS though, if you have got your password and username then go here click on Athens-SSO on the sign in box and you should be able to access the assessment chapter. He is the first person that sprung to mind but will have a think/root and see if I can come up with some others. Is there anyone at IoE who researches SEBD? Always worth tracking down the major players in any particular field and then following up who they refer to in papers. If an author is referenced in virtually everyone's work then you can be pretty sure they know what they are talking about.

Sorry, pressed post too soon... also worth making sure you've covered the work of anyone in your own department as chances are they'll be marking it!!

Other people to look up:

John Visser

Harry Daniels (also writes on Vygotsky, which I am completely fascinated by, saddo)

MM - Hope you get to speak to the GP today and definitely get badgering. Very frightening for you.

MM - big good luck for today. The GP won't feel you are badgerng, they will either a) not feel ds has intensive needs as they will be used to people needing home visits, and 12 different prescriptions a week or b) note with interst the evidence that there may be a 'something' and be interested to persue this c) not notice anything at all as one eye firmly on when is lunch, and will simply react to the case in front of them with refer/prescrbe/advise.

I don't think Clarks have their slippers in yet. Numpties. Gap sometimes have lovely ones.

Just had very frustrating 45 mins on phone with Vrgin. Grrr. In end I told chap to send me whatever ohone he thought a good deal for the £0 rewards I have, and I'm moving to a sim only contract. The END of £60-£90 phone bills we hope Stuck with Virgin though. Gah.

Dog - poor you. Big hugs, hope the stretch is effective. It won't be long now, you are bound to deliver some day soon!

Leeni - couldn't agree more about the parents thing. The thing is, I don't mind about the driving round etc, it's the way older people seem to develop a grumpy sense of entitlement to others time I have noticed. Massive sweeping statement of course. I have seen it a few times though, it's like nothing is enough, and no one else could possible have more important things on than their trip to the supermarket. It's like the bubble of life shrinks down. I don't ever want that to happen to me I'd make a crap OAP. Unless it was the kind who move to Sardinia in a nice old house in a small seaside resort

When I was in my early 20's I always assumed I'd be dead by 40-45. I never had the feeling I'd get beoyond that. I'm now seriously hoping this isn't the case!!!

Hope Noah has a peaceful stable say Tea. x

I have a church hall sorted for dd1's party. I sat her down to do a list of 10 kids to go to her much wanted Sealife centre. She got up to 15, said she couldn't decide and wanted everyone to come to a big party and have a nice time. I like that about her. She just isn't in to the small exclusve groups - and therefore isn't in to exclusion. SO rather than see that as a problem in terms of making frends, I'm trying to see it as a strength of her personality. It is essentially caring isn't it? She is determned that the very quiet girl from overseas must come, and many of the quiet or 'ones no one is one is interested in' children. She has a good heart.

So bash in a hall, which is a bit small but hey ho, and lots of cups of tea for the mums. I love a bit of a do. Now need to find £250 to pull it off I'm going to pay for the dj we had 2 years ago. I would actually rather a bouncy castle and some games, but I don't feel up to the stress of it. I don't feel in a settle pattern or like I have much time to think at the moment. I don't really want to worry, except about the lovely things like which paper table cloth to get

Mammoth posts! Didn't even say hi to everyone. Hi everyone.

Hi

Dh doesn't want me to ring the GP today, he wants to see it for himself first. I think he's just worried that they will think we are paranoid parents. After seeing some on youtube, he thought it would be useful to video one to show the doctors, but they are so fleeting and irregular, by the time we got the phone/camera ready it would be over. He suggested I set my macbook up in the corner of the room and just leave it videoing him so he doesn't know he's being watched, then review it and see if we have picked one up. I am happy to try, but don't want to delay things if he needs to be seen asap.

I have chased the assessment centre, but still no call back.

And breathe .....

Tree, I am on a deal with Virgin where we pay 9.99 a month for 300 mins and 300 txts - I think. It might be more mins and txts than that? 500 maybe?

Great that dd has decided what she wants to do for her birthday. What a lovely kind girl she is, she must make you very proud.

You wouldn't need to do games and a bouncy castle to be honest. My friends tried to do both for their daughters 6th and they couldn't get the children off the bouncy castle to play the games (they hired one with a slide). The mum got really cross, as she is really into organising things and felt she'd lost control - but the kids has a ball!

Dog, sorry to hear your Mum isn't being very supportive at the moment. Mine always does that too, she is absolutely golden for weeks and insists on helping when really I could cope without her, then I really do need her for something and she can't do it. I just try to remind myself of all the times she has helped, then take a deep breath and count to ten. Must be so much harder when you are overdue and hormonal though. My mw came round on her way home from work to do my s&s so that dh would be here to have the dc's, could you maybe ask her if that would be an option?

I am thinking I will have to learn to drive soon, as both my dcs and my Mum are going to be needing me running them around.

I'm not able to see my Mum and Sdad at the moment as they have both been so poorly with horrible viruses and infections. Haven't seen my mum for over a week now. We have made a promise that we will quarantine ourselves from each other if we/the dcs catch anything this year, to try and minimise the horrible autumn bug fest.

Tea, hope Noah has a good day today, is it today or tomorrow you are going to visit - I did read, but have forgotten.

Almost forgot, dd has starting asking for 'cuggles' it is soooo cute and immensely reassuring what with ds1 and everything. She is currently wrapped around my legs saying 'ah cuggle' whilst stuffing black grapes - good job I'm wearing black jeans.

BIL upsed dh by dismissing ds1's Aspergers dx, saying that he could well have been diagnosed with it himself, which just shows what rubbish it all is! Thing is he did need a dx, he struggled all the way through school, was constantly in detention and hasn't really done much better since. The school sent the ed psych to his school when he was in primary and dh's/his dad physically ejected him through the front door and that was that. His own son has epilepsy that was missed and because they left it too long his seizures progressed to the next stage. His son was also given a tentative dx of ASD, but him and his wife kicked up a stink and refused to accept the dx. The poor boy has had hell at school and is so obviously ASD - much worse that ds1. His own gps refuse to be in the room alone with him and call him weird! Its both sad and infuriating that we can't mention anything to do with ds1 to dh's family - but they are all head in the sand daily fail readers, that can't see past the end of their own noses.

Lenni, thanks for that, really helpful, am trying to get some research doen later this afternoon, so you have helped me narrow down my starting point massively...Athens keeps being crap though...I find it so infuritating..gah! Am scared to be caught on MN at work so will catch up later..

DD and DS got given these moccis for Xmas and they are lovely and wash really well. DS also has someof these Padraig slippers, which I covet! Would recommend either...

That's so weird. When I pressed post, the last paragraph shown was my third paragraph, but it has completely moved - how did that happen? Now my post makes even less sense than it did before.

Soory Moose, that took me so long to post I have x posted, will catch up later, the bell is ringing

Right, have spent half the afternoon on the phone to the Assessment Unit, then the Ed Psych and then CAMHS, then the GP. All were appalled that the school hasn't called in help from the Specialist Autism Education Inclusion Support Services. Apparently this should have been done as soon as he was referred for assessment or at the very latest when he got his verbal dx.

We have an appointment with the GP on Thursday afternoon to discuss the absences and referral to CAMHS to help with the anxiety and negative thinking. Unfortunately the lovely paed specialist gp who has a child with similar problems to ds1 is part time and couldn't see us until September 27th so we have booked in with the other paed specialist gp instead.

The Ed Psychs have put us on a call back list and should call us within 48 hrs. I gave his teacher a serve about the school not calling in Autism Support and she mumbled something about having had some papers through to read about autism in the classroom and they might have come from there - er no, the old SENCO gave those the his last teacher to pass on LAST YEAR! She promised she would speak to the Head/Acting SENCO about it this afternoon.

Another bad day for him, no bullying but lots of reflux and brought back part of his lunch after doing badly in both literacy and numeracy tests this morning - anxiety again. They also did theory instead of practical in ICT, which always guarantees a trauma. Have tried talking to him, but he just keeps repeating "I am stupid, I fail easy tests - I can't do anything right" and nothing I say seems to get through. Have resorted to sweets instead of fruit for his after school snack and he is about to go on his Nintendo, so hopefully that will lift his mood - just hope he wins his game or that will be it!

Books, sorry you are having a hard time at the moment and are feeling low. Feel free to email or text me if you need someone to offload on. (hugs)

afternoon

mm - how stressful bless ds

hi books sorry you r feeling low @ the mo

tree - party sounds good

good luck dog

This thread is making me seriously doubt how I bring up my children and think that if anyone ever comes for a playdate, they'll slag me off once they've left

Nephew doing ok, still small, many weeks left to go in SCBU.

Crikey, that's a scary thread Tea...MN freaks me out sometimes; way too much judging for my liking! Think they'd slag me off too but I don't care !

Dog your FIL is on another planet, good for your DP for not letting DD be flower girl. Any twinges today? Am sending you labour vibes lady!

Moose I can't believe how slack DS's school have been. I would be writing to the governors and the LA about it, they are really letting your DS down. Hope Ed Psych gets back to you soon.

Books sorry you are going through holiday hell, roll on Thursday.

Tree, you are scaring me with the thought of how much kids parties cost as they get older...eek. Was it oyu who was after slippers? H&M so sweet girly ones sometimes.

Lenni you are a star...managed to get a fair bit of work done this evening and your suggestions have helped get me going. Still can't get bloody ATHENS to work, will have to phone tech at IOE tomorrow.

DS managed to do a rolly polly off te bed this evening, so one great egg on his head has swiftly been replaced by another...is this a boy thing. Every time he hits his head he just pats it and says head with a huge grin on his face.

it was me after slippers! will check them out tomorrow, thank you!

books lovely to see you back.. life commences in September and all that.

Tea, I was reading that thread agog earlier - glad it isn't just me who thinks that is odd.

Well, I have truly achieved something today... had a post removed . Even the OP said it was fine. Honestly. Some people.

You are absolutely right HKZ and I know it, but we have little alternative - nowhere to move him to and he doesn't want to or couldn't cope with moving anyway. So, we have to stay on their good side. Its really hard trying to balance getting them to up their game and provide ds with the basic support he needs whilst, at the same time trying not to seriously piss them off so they become even less helpful (if that's possible ).

Managed to lift ds's mood by cooking a full vegetarian roast dinner, with home made gluten free stuffing and home-made apple, cinnamon (sp?) and almond pie for pud. Am now officially beyond knackered and shall be for my bed very shortly. Fortunately dh took pity on his pathetic dishrag of a wife and did the washing up for me.

It was worth it though, when he was taking him up to bed, ds told dh that "Mummy has made me much happier by doing all the things she did this afternoon". Bless him.

The constant head bumping does seem to be a boy thing. Dd doesn't seem to bump hers half as much as her brothers did/do.

Dog, lol at the front of your FIL. He is quite obviously living on a different planet to you! Love the idea of challenging him to remember dd's name, dob and eye colour.

Dd has developed a new catchphrase. As well as "ah cuggle", we now have "she's funny" or eg "ds1 is funny" followed by lots of rolling around laughing. Everybody is a she at the moment. Its lovely when dh comes home and she says "Here's Daddy. Here she is." Makes me chuckle every time.

Well, that's me. The combination of stress and cooking has drained every last ounce of energy from me and I'm struggling to keep my eyes open here, so am off to bed.

Night all. x

Whoa mn ate my post! It was long nad detailed and personal to everyone

Argh - off to bed. Now Too grumpy to retype!

morning

1st post on here where is everyone

mm - hope u slept well

dog - any progress @ flower girl!!!

have hilarys blinds coming out for a quote tom
have read lots of bad reviews on them!!

dd2 has just had injections!! she was such a good girl

Hi Tink - I hear Hilaarious Hilarys are hysterical - on prce that is. Start a thread on a cheaper alternative?

Moose, I had an answer on something unrelated from Paul Shattock. He was sayng how they think they are seeng a pattern in the testing. They think that maybe children who appear to profile as affected by both gluten and dairy, are probably just gluten. The gluten causes the inflamation, and the dairy peptides sneak through the newly permeable membrane just because they can. Oppurtunistic - as apposed to causative. So I thought that was encouraging for you, as I agree the idea of being gluten and dairy free is almost claustrophobic!
So I guess in this scenario a gluten free child would be better able to tolerate dairy than a gluten eating child.

My next mental challenge is to decide if dd2 should go gluten free to see if that 'heals' the dairy intolerance. OR do I stop trying to route plan the crossing of bridges bridges before I have even come to them. DD2 is not asd, she is too young and shows normal toddler development. And yet......I just have a niggle....

It's utterly fascinating stuff. I really think they and all those researching this field are on to something, as do they. I just hope the evidence gathers to start informing practice, although it does sound liek it's fltering down through the research fellows into medicine research fellows and therefore into front line doctors. Those research special registrars as so vital to the nhs.

Forgot to say I thnk dd2 is back to her self now. She has her twinkle in her eye back. She has been so cheeky and bubbly today Just waved her off, won't see my babes until 3pm tomorrow. Tough stuff. Well, I get to kiss them tonight at about 7pm before they go to their beds and I try eat before my shift.

Hey ho.

Hows all? Got my pom poms out for you Dog. Always x

120 - respect at havng a post removed! Ooooh. Did you diss Nigels brownies?
ANy flat news?

Hi Tink, good luck with your blinds quote. Well done dd2 for being such a brave girl.

Tree, I have read that somewhere before and was told that if we kept him gluten free for a year or longer, his body/gut would have healed and should be better able to deal with dairy. What I'm not so clear on is whether or not he has to be gf to the same extent as a coeliac (ie avoiding malt vinegar and other minute ingredients etc) or if just excluding the main wheat products is enough. Doubt I'll get to the bottom of that with the NHS dietician, but you never know. My Mum's friend is an NHS dietician and she also has an low functioning autistic son, so is well keyed up on all the gf/cf stuff and is involved in a huge research project about it.

Had another morning of it, ds1 went into total anxiety meltdown on the way to school and wouldn't be peeled off me, while ds2 was almost in tears as I had told him I would take him this morning and dh would take ds1. It felt as if I was being torn in half, came home and sobbed, phoned my Mum, who fortunately is better and rushed around for moral support, coffee and sympathy.

Then while Mum was here the emergency/duty Ed Psych called and we were on the phone for almost an hour.

She was very good and has referred him to their weekly team meeting, where they decide whether or not to take the case. She also said we should get the ball rolling with CAMHS as it can take ages to get referred, but that in the long run he will probably need only one (whichever is more appropriate) of the services to be involved. She agreed he needs help with anxiety mangement and negative thinking, possibly CBT and that the school need to pull their finger out and both help him and deal with the bullies. She seemed to agree that it sounds as if all this has been brought on by his awful year at school last year as he didn't have any anxiety issues prior to that and mentioned 'trauma response' and ptsd. She felt that as they are an education service, their involvement might be the kick up the bum the Head needs. It seems that the school has been operating under-the-radar so-to-speak until now and she was shocked to hear about what's been going on.

Dh is calling the Head this afternoon to rant insist they contact the Autism Inclusion Support Service.

I have the worst headache and feel really sick now.

Tree, great news that dd2 has her got her twinkle back.

Moose, hope you are feeling a bit better. Tree, glad to hear that her royal cheekiness has got a twinkle back in her eye. They are hard work when they are well, but worrying when they aren't. So much fun.

No, wasn't the brownie thread! We have a couple more viewings this afternoon, but it's a bit of a hassle at the moment as they've put scaffolding up all over the block so not only does it look different, the light in our flat is affected, which is crap as it is quite a dull day anyway. Heigh ho.

We had a real nightmare with DD this morning. I'm not sure whether it is the return to nursery or the moving thing but she has been very difficult.

She has always created a massive scene if we try to rush her to do something, or if something isn't going her way; she'll pick something really trivial to kick off about, like this morning it was wanting to take her shades to nursery. And when I say kick off, we're talking up to half an hour of shouting and screaming, spitting, hitting, scratching, sometimes weeing and general very unpleasant behaviour. Once it is over she'll say 'I was being grumpy because of x,y,z but I'm happy now and it was because you wouldn't let me do/were making me do x'. During it though, there is pretty much nothing we can do other than wait it out or give in. I'm hoping this is just manipulative 3 year old behaviour, or just bad behaviour which we haven't cracked down early due to PFBness, but this morning I was very close to using a physical punishment. She managed to climb through the hall railings in the block and was in well between the railings, two floors up and above pure concrete. I guess it is time for me to sort her out, but what to do?!

afternoon bookmarking