June 10 babies have arrived. Now we are all sleep deprived!

[CantSleepWontSleep]

Welcome to 'the other side' ladies. Long may we all continue to post!

ARRIVALS
27/04 (due 23/06) - SunshineDay - Faye - 3lbs 2oz
16/05 (due 02/06) - Meggymegmegs - James (Jimmy) David, 7lb 1oz
19/05 (due 01/06) - whenwillisleepagain - Alice Emily, 8lb 7oz
21/05 (due 21/06) - Gizmo - Hester Rose - 6lbs
23/05 (due 9/06) - greensnail, Alice Elizabeth, 7lb 2oz
24/05 (due 8/06) - Saucepanman, Gabriel, 8lb 4oz
24/05 (due 31/05) - minimoonumber2, Sebastian Robin
26/05 (due 24/06) - GibberingGinger James Alexander, 5lb 13oz, & Douglas John, 5lb 15oz
28/05 (due 30/05) - GoodName, Fergus, 8lb
28/05 (due 31/05) - mampam, Tilly May, 9lb 11oz
28/05 (due 4/06) - jo807bump - Hannah May, 5lb 7.5oz
04/06 (due 07/06) - perkster - Sidney James Perkins Berner, 7lb 11oz
05/06 (due 31/05) - dinosaurinmybelly - Zoe Leila - 6lb 9oz
07/06 (due 02/06 ) - AlwaysHopeful - George, 7lb 13oz
07/06 (due 07/06) - MrsC09 - Rufus Jack
08/06 (due 01/06) - PogueMahone - Magnus Gabriel, 8lb 14.5oz
08/06 (due 11/06) - woofie - Laurence Elliot (Laurie) - 7lb 11oz
08/06 (due 21/06) - sunworshipper - Romola Ann Bettina, 5lb 15oz
09/06 (due 08/06) - LittleRobbo - Summer Dawn
09/06 (due 09/06) - Boobz - Constance Ella Reed,
11/06 (due 02/06) - Justbeme - 'Nobody' (boy) - 8lb 9oz
12/06 (due 02/06) - roundabout1 - Lauren - 8lb 14oz
13/06 (due 18/06) - Virgo1979 - nameless boy! 7lb 9oz
14/06 (due 30/06) - monthlymayhem - Hayden, 7lb
14/06 (due 08/06) - MrsAlwaysRight - Alice Rose, 9lb 7oz
14/06 (due 15/06) - Millymollymoo - boy
15/06 (due 31/05) - RnB - Artemis, 7lb 9oz
15/06 (due 29/06) - playftseforme - Rory 6lb 4oz, and Fergus 6lb 8oz
16/06 (due 17/06) - Chestnut100 - Daisy Belle 6lb 14oz
17/06 (due 01/06) - Madamfreckle - Emma 6lb 6oz
17/06 (due 30/06) - MonkeyMargot - Atticus Fox 7lb 8oz and Rafferty Bear 7lb 14oz
17/06 )due 04/06) - Suzy1975 - Samuel 7lb 14oz
18/06 (due 23/06) - earlyonemorning - Edgar William 7lb 8oz
18/06 (due 13/06) - sobloodystupid - Stella 8lb 8oz
19/06 (due 22/06) - Gaelicsheep - Robin 6lb 14oz
22/06 (due 14/06) - Fillybuster - Mia Rae 9lb 3oz
24/06 (due 16/06) - Nizzynoodles - Samuel James 10lb 10.5oz
24/06 (due 17/06) - summerhols - Lilly
25/06 (due 17/06) - Barbeasty - Ruth Damaris Rose, 9lb
26/06 (due 16/06) - JoKettle - James Lennox, 8lb 7oz
26/06 (due 29/06) - MrsDmamee - Elyssa, 8lb 5oz
28/06 (due 26/06) - imkeepingmum - girl, 7lb 11oz
28/06 (due 12/06) - Georgee - Anna Rose, 7lb 15.5oz
28/06 (due 12/06) - Elena67 - boy, 9lb 5oz
29/06 (due 17/06) - bluesnowfalcon - Corey, 8lb 11.75oz
29/06 (due 18/06) - theperfectbaguette - Clementine Jemima, 6lb
29/06 (due 26/06) - RubyReins - Luke Douglas, 7lb 14oz
29/06 (due 25/06) - Ilovemyterrier - Jeppe Sebastian Fagerlund, 7lb 6.5oz
01/07 (due 30/06)- LaTrucha - Daniel Timothy, 8lb 11oz
3/7 (due 29/06) - CantSleepWontSleep - Jeremy Francis, 9lb 4oz

MrsD It must be really hard with your DH working nights. I'm also having anxious nights and its definitely much worse the few nights DH hasn't been in the house. Hope you enjoy a bit of peace and quiet while your DS's are away.

I'm also struggling a bit with very clingy DD1. She's become extremely shy of other adults and hides or freezes if they try to talk to her and completely flips out if they try to touch her or pick her up. I'm starting to worry that its going to be a complete nightmare trying to get her settled into any kind of childcare when I go back to work. She's always been looked after by family before but that won't be possible when we move. Anyone got any tips on how to help her be less shy?

MrsD and greensnail - as a first timer, I am impressed at you caring for more than 1 DC. I just can't imagine having another child to look after along with Lilly.

Anyone elses LO constantly feeding? Lilly is non stop and when not feeding she's screaming and will only sleep on me. Please tell me this will pass!

To top things my DH, who was at work frm 7 to 7 has just announced he's going to bed to read. WTF??? It's OK I'll carry on looking after our DD, you go to bed. And he did not even wake up for last nights feeds so had 7 hours sleep, I had 4.

Sorry rant over...

Woo Hoo - Alice slept from 10.30pm until 6.30am last night. I feel almost human again! I think she was exhausted as she only slept for about 40 mins on and off from 4pm - 10.30pm.

summerhols not surprised your annoyed with DH! Rant away! I remember with DD1 when he slept in the spare room feeling so pissed off when I was up feeding in the night and I could hear him snoring! We've had quite a few arguements about who is the tiredest and who has had the least sleep!

greensnail I hope things start to improve with DD1. Let me know if you fancy meeting up for coffee again

Morning

summerhols i'd be fuming too, going to bed to read
The constant feeding can be tough.
Let your DH you need alot more help keep at him until he understands that it's very hard and sometimes isolating being alone all day and night with a newborn.

some days im so lonely but DH is doing as much as he can, ringing me several times a night while he is working. And he takes Baby when he arrives home from work at 8am so i can sleep for a few hours.

greensnail i am enjoying the peace and quiet until the DS'S arrive home tomorrow.

DH and DS'S are going to a family wedding next week. I declined the invite as i could'nt comptemplate having a newborn and getting organised enough to attend a wedding including an overnight stay.
Now im panicking being home alone for nearly 2 days with no one to help at all.

Dont know what to do now as if i just go along we will be all together in a hotel room with a screaming baby and im not sure if DH would consider not going!
But ive told him I cant do it as it will mean 3 weeks of 4 nights alone with baby for me(including his nightshifts)

Let your DH know you need

greensnail
oops i forgot to type : Try not to get too worried about your DD1, let other Adults know(quietly when you meet up) that shes not very social at the moment and then let her decide if she wants to join in and say hello etc.

She will eventually enjoy other peoples company.
It is hard being shy. I was very shy growing up I still get bouts of shyness at times.

I was worried when DS2 started nursery but he seems to love it when he is there but doesnt want to answer questions about it so we just wait until he offers us information on his day

woohoo, my Alice did 8 hours last night too. There must be something in the air around here. She did 7pm - 3am so not quite as social as AliceAlwaysRight though! Am trying to decide whether to try waking her to feed at 10.30 to try to get her to sleep through the later part of the night or not.

Tried it with DD1 and she refused to feed and then woke up more than ever so we gave up. I actually quite liked her 7pm-3am sleep though as it meant I could go out for the evening and not need to be home until the early hours. I think with 2 DC's the chance of a decent sleep is probably more important than a night out though

MrsAlwaysRight I'd love to meet for a coffee. Let me know when suits you.

summerhols rant away. Have you explained to him that you need his help in the evenings? I know I'm guilty of getting annoyed with DH for not helping but not actually pointing out to him what I need him to do. And yes, it will pass sooner than you think. Honestly

mrsD thanks for the advice. I've been thinking about it and I think the shyness probably isn't particularly new, just more noticable since Alice has been born as people keep trying to help me when I've got my hand full and DD1 needs something. Good luck working out a solution for the wedding.

I knew I shouldn't have admitted Mia had had a few good nights in a row...last night was right back to waking every hour or two but with the added drawback of her being in the nursery rather than next to my bed.... DH sweetly apologised this morning and offered to decamp to the attic again but I'm going to give it another day night or two and see whether we can get back to 'normal' as I do miss him being around

MrsD - my DS (nearly 5) is being more work than the other 2, as well, especially at bedtime which is driving me up the wall! Good luck!

Summerhols, feel free to let rip on here (damn right!) but I think you should probably (gently!) explain to your DH how that made you feel, as well.

OK, kids all settled, time to step away from the computer, grab some food and try to get to bed not too late....hah!

so [jealous] of all the sleep. how do you manage it, could someone else please post about awful sleep please

i meant

I'm in the land of crap sleep too. We had two nights of 4 hour gaps between feeds, but we are how back to 3 hour or even 2.5 hour gaps. I really hope it gets better soon!

I can post if it makes you feel better goodname. Ds still waking every hour or two, and not settling for the night until very late (10pm last night), and still struggling to put him down at all for naps in the day (though will sleep generally if I can spare a couple of hours to sit holding him ). But I'm just going with the flow and plonking him on top of me and dozing off that way myself if needs be - I need to get sleep however I can when I'm on my own with all 3 dc for the week.

MrsD - surely being home for 2 days with just the baby would be bliss?!

Not enough time to reply to everyone else I'm afraid - need to go and get ready for bed.

Hello all. Just back from holiday which was fab! goodname- I'm touching wood as I type this but our nights have been really good. Sorry! Emma wakes for a feed a couple of times a night but I never look at a clock so no idea how long she's going between feeds. I change her nappy with an extremely dim light on then feed lying down (and doze off myself) and she never seems to properly wake up.

Evenings are a different matter...she is very uncomfortable and squeals for hours. (As at this moment...she has been awake for 6 hours - she keeps almost dropping off then suddenly screams and pulls her legs up and it starts her off again). Her current speciality is crying, snorting and farting simultaneously. Poor thing is SO windy and there doesn't seem to be much I can do about it. She's also still soiling 12+ nappies a day. I've cut dairy from my diet for 2 weeks but it doesn't seem to have made any difference to her.

Other things...

I've got mastitis - booo. I'm sure it was caused by over-sucking (she was on for an hour and a half!) but I've been given antibiotics anyway which will probably make her tummy even worse. Luckily i don't feel too rough but right boob is agony - especially if DS chooses to give me a hug.

DS is SLOWLY beginning to take a small amount of interest in her although mostly to tell her to stop crying (which he hates) but he will occasionally stroke her tummy and in the car he'll give us updates on whether she's asleep or awake and if she's frowning or not . He has started chewing his clothes :-cuffs, drawstrings, hat-ties, collar...any material he can get near his mouth. It makes them horrible and soaking wet. Does anyone else have experience of this? He sucks his thumb a lot too (always has done) but this is a new one.

Dummies: So they don't interfere with breast-feeding? I've been holding off but might it improve our evenings?? I've never sterilised anything as DS never had bottles or dummies...how would you sterilise just a couple of dummies? Sorry if that's a dumb question but sterilising is a world about which I know nothing.

You'll probably roll your eyes at this, but I'm having issues with calling her Emma again. Although I like the name, I keep thinking of Emmas I have known and all of them have been/are a bit full of themselves and incapable of listening to anyone else. Do you know some who aren't? Any lovely, humble Emmas out there? Please tell! When people ask her name and I tell them she's called Emma, there is usually no reaction at all and I keep remembering that growing up I was always so pleased and proud to have a name that no-one else in the school had...and now I've gone and given my child one of the most common names ever! I wanted to call her Jemima but some tiny thing put us off at the moment we made our decision - possibly thinking of the puddle-duck connection. DP is totally happy with our choice but says it's not too late to change it but I really think it is...A zillion-and-one people know she's called Emma, she's registered, all of her cards say 'Welcome Emma'...etc etc...it would just be quite mad to change it now wouldn't it. Especially as Emma is basically a sound name. Oh why can't I just be happy with it and put the negative associations out of my head? Maybe I'm just going to have to have another daughter and call her Jemima (ahem, I didn't say that, two's supposed to be the max for us!) Please, if you have the magic recipe to make me completely satisfied with the name, let me have it and I promise I'll shut up!

madamefreckle It took me 4 years for DD3's name to grow on me, was DH's turn to choose but I like it now, it's more common than the other children's names but she's more popular/outgoing/one of the gang so it's nice she fits in if that makes sense.
I'm only 80% happy with the boys name but I think that's what comes of having to let your husband have say
I know Jemima who is adorable and some Emma's from school who are perfectly pleasant women, now Emily's don't get me started.
Oh and I have used a dummy from day one and BF is going great guns here.

madamefreckle - i love the name emma but like you have known a few that havebeen full of themselves but still think it's a fab name. It's not common round here for little ones, the only ones I know are grown up.

We have huge problems wind wise here, dd is soooo farty! It causes her so much pain although the look of relief & ecstasy on her face when the pressure is relieved is quite amusing!

re - expressing milk, I have built up a bit of a supply for the freezer for when I am out with dd1 & dp is babbysitting but only get approx 3 oz 4 oz absolute tops. It doesn't seem much, I have tried to give it her from a bottle & it went well but she still seemed hungry after the 3/4 oz, can only assume that Lauren is much more efficient at getting the milk out as she never has a 2nd breast at a feed & is definitely thriving & is piling the weight on.

School hols proving a bit of a problem here too, dd1 has been a pain, very challenging, so cheeky & needs lots of keeping entertained. Am hoping once she gets settled into the routine of it being holidays rather than school things will improve else it may seem a long summer! To make matters worse dp is working from home at the moment & she is disturbing him constantly which doesn't go down well.

I have tried dummies & they work well esp when Lauren is colicky, most of the time she's not intersted but when she's really uncomfortable they seem to do the trick. Think you can sterilise them just in boiling water, it's not like they have any milk on them to cause bacteria like teats do. Or if you want to be super sure why not get some sterilising fluid & just pop a tiny bit on a big jug full of water & pop them in for a bit.

Emma is lovely! One of my best freinds is an Emma and she's fabulous.

roundabout - thanks for posting that about dummies. I'm thinking of getting one is for when Daniel is upset. I don't want to get him hooked though.

I'm having problems getting online, so I'm sorry I'm nto participating much at the moment. Essentially, I have a geriatric computer which I can't bring myself to replace as I loathe how quickly technology lasts. My computer has periods of being very slow and if these coincide with times when I can actually physically get on then it's impossible.

well, we were doing fine with sleep IMO until the last couple of nights. Daniel was feeding all evening until about 10, then we'd go to bed and sleep until soemwhere between 2.30 and 4.30, then go back to sleep after an hour or so.

Thge last two nights have been very different and I''d apprecitae your suggestions as to sorting it out - although hopefully it will change again of its own accord.

The day before yesterday we had a day out and about which Daniel mostly slpet through so didn't feed as much as usual. That night, he wanted to feed almost constantly after the first chunk of sleep and so took on too much milk at once and posseted and then wanted to sleep again. Bad night's sleep, mostly on my chest. Boo.

Yesterday he fed almost constantly from 1pm, screamed alot particularly later on in the evening when I wasn't feeding him (only minutes from last feed). This is the first time he has really cried.

I was so exhausted I decided to go to bed, feed him to sleep and keep him next to me. The little thing squiggled and wiggled all night to try and get closer and closer to me. When I tried to put him in his moses basket after a good feed at 4.30, he was simply awake, awake, awake. HE's had about three feeds this offical morning (ie from a respectable time like 7.30) and again has been asleep for the last couple of hours.

So, my questions are:

• DO you think I could or should try a dummy when he's really 'sucky'?
• How much are your LOs sleeping in the day now? Should I try and keep him awake?
• Do you think it's a 3-4 week growth spurt?

I normally just go with baby's own needs as I'm not a 'routine' sort of a mum, but the down side of this is that it can fel like everything is just all over the place, especially when sleep is awful.

I need to feel like things are a little more on track than they seem to be at the moment.

Phew - mananged to get the post done before computer went all slow. Sorry for not catching up better, but if I have to scroll up and down a page is when my computer really freaks, so am not risking it so I can get SOMETHING posted.

All the best to you all!

Hi, not got a lot of time, just thought I'd check in.

Can't help on the sleeping front. Tilly sleeping fine at night usually only waking once in the night and again at about 6.30am.

Tilly has a dummy sometimes, usually for when she's really unsettled in the late evening or night. Sometimes it works a treat and one night she slept all night with it!! The next time I tried it I found I was having to put my finger on it to keep it in her mouth which kind of defeats the object really ......haven't tried it since.

LaT Tilly went through a whingy/winey patch at 3-4 weeks, it won't last forever....it DOES get better.

MadameF I love the name Emma. My friends wife is called Emma and she's one of the kindest people I know. When I was getting married I didn't have anyone to come wedding dress shopping with me so she volunteered to come even though we didn't really know each other very well then. I'm so glad she came with me, we got to know each other and are now good friends.

I'd put it down to growth spurt and still being tiny lat. I figure we can just muddle through the first 6 weeks or so and then worry about a bit more routine.

Emma is fine (there's a little one on my last MN pn thread too), but it's important that you like it, and relatively easy to change whilst she is still tiny if you really want to. I have a friend who did this a couple of years ago.

I don't sterilise anything. Dummy gets bunged in dishwasher and that's it.

Dummies can interfere with bf, but don't necessarily do so. Think it depends in part on how you are using them - if it's to lengthen times between feeds then more likely to interfere than if just say to help them settle when already fed.

That's what I don't know about CSWS. I always demand feed and have never used a dummy. I'm thinking about just for when he's troubled and wants to suck but possets what he's taking in as he's full (I think). I'd hate him to take less milk than he needs though.

If you're not happy with the name change it. Personally, I prefer Emma, but you have to feel happy.

LaT We've had exactly the same for the last couple of nights. Ruth has gone from sleeping through from 11 or 12 and waking at 5/6 am for an hour's feed then going off again, to sleeping from about 11 until 2 or 3 and then feeding constantly until at least 6am. Whilst she will then go off until I wake her up (we got to almost 10am the other day), it's not so good when we are going out in the morning (why do all the baby group things start at 10am?!). She did it first on Thursday night, so a)I'm glad I'd arranged not to start my post natal course that Friday, but to wait until September, and b) DH now sleeps in another room Sunday- Thursday nights. He made a few silly mistakes at work (luckily just writing software) and ended up working at the weekend to correct them.

I don't think I'd mind being woken at 2 or 3 if it was brief, it's the 3 or 4 hours I'm then awake feeding that's the killer.

I agree. I can cope with an hour at a time feeding at night but if we don't really get back to sleep, it's killer esp as we then have dd getting up around 7.

Good to know it's not just me though. thanks.

Just a quickie to say thank goodness for dummies!! For some reason we were totally against it with ds1 but Seb has one now & it's a godsend, definitely soothes him when his stomach is hurting and helps him drop off to sleep. I know we are setting ourselves up for a potential nightmare trying to get rid of it at a later date but tbh the relief it gives now is just immense and also buys some time with ds1.

And Emma is really lovely!

I also am really appreciating the dummy, although Fergus has now found his fists and fingers and likes to suck them instead sometimes. Before I got him to take the dummy he would suck on my finger for ages, really chomping on it esp when he was windy/needing a poo. Feeding at this time didn't work as he was chomping rather than sucking and would pull off the breast also. I do not sterilise dummies just run them under boiling water, did not realise anyone did. Doesn;t seem to have done any harm.

With regards to sleep, what I hate is never knowing what sort of night is ahead. Some evenings he screems for hours and then has a fairly good sleep, other evenings he is more settled and then has an awful sleep. Sometimes he seems ready for bed and then wakes 10 min after putting him down screaming inconsolably.
What usually happens recently is he goes down to sleep anytime between 8:30 and 11:30 after easting a lot for the preceeding few hours (depending on the screaming). He then tends to sleep for 3-4 hours peacefully in his bed, then wakes for a feed. He feeds and then I settle him and put him in his bed, then he wakes up soon after this screaming and I have to pick him up and feed him or rock him to sleep (this can take a long time). Then nornmally cant cope with this happening again so put him in the middle of us where he squirms loads (flailing his arms around) and makes lots of noise keeping us awake. He then gets up about 5:30 -6:30 wide awake and happy. Dont quite know what to do about this. I could cope with nighttime feeds no prob but this whole second half of the night thing is awful. Any tips?
Also now he is 8 weeks how much should he sleep during the day? Because his nights are unsettled, he keeps wanting to sleep more during the day and I am not sure if I should let him or not? Also he seems to want to eat all the time just now, every 2 hours at least when he used to be every 3-4. What is going on?
Sorry too many questions
I still like Emma, it sound nice to say and its very cute for a baby/little girl.

LaT re. awake times in day, I go with filly's suggestion that they stay awake for a bit after feeding and before sleeping - no longer than 1.5 hours from start of feed. I don't think you can force them to stay awake though so they often need to sleep before the 1.5 hour is up. Maybe your bad night was simply a result of not enough feeds the day before. I recall our first night back from hospital - was so excited to see DD that I let the twins sleep and they hardly fed all day - cue a horrendous night of cluster feeding/ wind and screaming...never to be repeated. Hence the next day I made a vow to feed 3-hourly in the day. since ensuring all our feeds are 40 minutes long, we have stopped all the cluster feeds which is good.

greensnail my DD was exactly the same as yours - went down at 7pm but was never interested in a 10pm feed, so we always had our long stretch from 7pm- 2/3amish like you. It wasn't that long though til she made it through from 7-7pm. You must be chuffed!Interestingly these baby boys are nothing like our DD - they wake naturally for a feed at 10pm-ish, but have now done 3 nights on trot from then til 6/6:30am.
Only trouble is, I haven't slept during that time as I hear every snuffle and if one of them cries or even murmurs i'm paranoid about the other one waking.

re. dummies - i don't sterilise, just pop them in a bowl of boiling water for a bit. I am EBF and just using the dummies to help settle at bedtime.

madameF i like Emma, my SIL is Emma, but if you're really unsure, it really isn't too late. She is only about 0.25% through her life!
Could you perhaps use her middle name instead? (I'm guessing that isn't Jemima though). I like Jemima BTW. Knew a really cool one at Uni.

Question for everyone - both DTs are now struggling to settle on their backs, but settle really quickly on their tummies. I've been told it's OK for them to sleep like this if I am watching over them (i'm currently in their room sitting on bed with laptop) but not to leave them to sleep like this. They are dressed only in vests with no bedding so as not to overheat.
What would you do? some people say all their DCs slept on their tummies from the start. I've tried lots of things to help them settle in their backs/sides but it seems they simply want to sleep on their tummies. And when I try and flip them onto their side once they are in a deep sleep, they tend to wake up soon after.
Any advice please?

goodname - it sounds to me like he is not bringing up his wind sufficiently after a feed, and that is what is waking him and making him squirm. It's something we struggle with too. At 8 weeks he is plenty old enough for some gripe water. Might I suggest that you give him some after his last feed before bedtime, and then after his night feed too, and keep him upright for 5 mins or so afterwards.