SMA, but surely if the loopholes were tightened up, and everyone was strongly encouraged to take more personal and social responsibility for their own families, and taking work that's available, even if it isn't very inspiring, then mad old men like that would have less to get frustrated/abusive about about! The welfare state could return to doing what it was originally set up to do - which is help people out of an unforeseen fix for which there is no other realistic alternative.
Sorry to pick an easy cliche, but I can go into my town centre on any given day, and within 15 minutes I can show you a dozen or more young girls with babies and toddlers, who I would confidently bet my last penny exist totally on benefits, and have never worked. And I'd be very surprised if their baby-fathers did either. All under 20 or so. No concept of waiting a while to see if they can become remotely self-supporting, before they 'settle down' to family life. Nope, just straight in there, and queueing up at the DSS for a flat. Then wingeing because it's not very nice.
Of course there are always back-stories that we don't know, some of them tragic, young people with no support network fresh out of care, etc, etc, but frankly I do not believe that most of them in my area were monumentally 'unlucky' in life. They do not live in an area of high unemployment, where there have been no prospects for a generation. They do it because we enable them to. Then we throw all sorts of extra resources at them, trying to get them back into education, and work, and making endless allowances for their circumstances. Then watching them have another baby when the sands are runnin out...
I know everyone thinks their personal circumstances exempt them from criticism, but really, how long can we continue to be this understanding about everybody? Doesn't Riven ever wonder how much extra help she'd be able to have with her DS, if all those capable of contributing more to their own upkeep actually did so?
There was a thread on here only a couple weeks ago where someone freely admitted that she was masses better off as a single mother on housing benefit/tax credits etc., than since she'd lived as a couple with her new (working) partner.
She admitted that previously she actively looked for a job that allowed her to do the required 16 hours p.w only) can't remember the exact details, but anyway.....the upshot was, that there was no point in even attempting to be self-supporting unless she could get a job earning more than £37k!!!
I just do not comprehend how people like you Riven and SMA, with real difficulties, do not get utterly MAD over these scenarios!
It's horrible to have to offend anyone when we have conversations like these, but sometimes things need to be said.