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I have never felt so bleak

106 replies

Alanis126 · 14/12/2019 17:33

The whole thing, Brexit, Johnson re-elected has put me in a pit of despair. I hate what the UK has become. Can someone, anyone recommend a website or something where I can connect with like minded people? I cannot function and I don't want to carry on like this

OP posts:
tribpot · 15/12/2019 07:48

Are we all just supposed to go along with everything in the Tory dump that England has become?
That's right, we need to be stocking up on sun screen and flip flops for the sunlit uplands that await us!

In the meantime, you might want to follow the Remainiacs podcast. They are (like many of us) working out how to regroup.

There has been a surge of support for The Trussell Trust, Refuge and Shelter now that we understand that poverty will continue to grow.

Bobbybobbins · 15/12/2019 07:53

It is tough. I felt like this after the referendum result. Nothing shocks me anymore. I'm a teacher and just keep focusing on trying my best to help the students I teach achieve their ambitions and be distracted by my DS.

ChewChewIsMySpiritAnimal · 15/12/2019 08:33

I just hate the ignorance and xenophobia I really do

Do you really think it's helpful to call the majority of the voting population ignorant and xenophobic? I would say people who make that sort of statement are ignorant and narrow minded, and not willing to look at the reasons why Labour voters flocked to the Tories in their droves. Labour are a compete waste of space, and I voted for them. I didn't want to, but I didn't want the Tories more. Its really really not hard to see how they won. If you despair of anything you should despair of the ideology driven left in this country, who absolutely failed to connect with the electorate and properly address the issues which were important to them. I think you'll find that renationalising all the public services, free education for everyone for life and free broadband aren't high up on everyone's priorities. Corbyn is deeply unpopular outside London and he is untrustworthy.

Drag yourself out of your pit of despair and employ some critical thinking. Its not the electorate you should be angry at. Its at the politicians on all sides and their followers who debased this election into a free for all of mud slinging and disgusting insults being thrown at anyone who disagrees with them, mainly from the left certainly here on Mumsnet. You won't win votes by insulting people. It seems to be "if you're not with us you're against us". Life isn't anywhere near as black and white as that and nor is politics.

SunnySomer · 15/12/2019 08:41

Yes, ChewChew, I totally agree with all that.
In terms of meeting like-minded people I also agree that volunteering is the thing to do. The worst thing you can do from the POV of your mental health is fester on social media.

IpanemaGallina · 15/12/2019 08:44

I agree op, it does feel bleak. I’m going to do something at the food bank this week. We’ve already made a monetary donation to our children’s lovely state school.

I’m going to enjoy Christmas with my lovely dh and dc and distance myself as much as possible from brexity relatives.

TheHeathenOfSuburbia · 15/12/2019 08:48

Are you actually living in Ireland?
Why don't you mentally commit to there, and give up on England. You'll be happier.
If we're determined to drag ourselves back into the 50s, rationing and all, just leave us to it.

tribpot · 15/12/2019 08:48

Labour voters flocked to the Tories in their droves
I guess statistically speaking this isn't what happened. In terms of the popular vote, the Tory vote share only went up 1.2%, the effect was just greatly magnified by FPTP. Labour's vote share went down 7.9% but the Lib Dems were the main beneficiary with an increase in 4.2% of the popular vote. Likewise the SNP saw its vote share increase by only 0.9% but its number of seats rose from 35 to 48.

(All stats from the Wikipedia page )

So despite the catastrophic election outcome, the attitudes of British people have not shifted to anything like the same extent, which is at least one reason to be hopeful for the future.

That said, ChewChew I do agree with you. The number of good politicians, from all sides, that withdrew from politics rather than stand again and face the same levels of abuse is indicative of what is wrong with our politics. Likewise the failure to hold politicians properly to account.

FainaSnowChild · 15/12/2019 08:59

The day before the election I had a number of my middle aged friends, all of whom are owner occupiers in naice suburbs, 2 cars apiece and some of whom have second homes, post a thing on Facebook that said "if your polling station is in a school tomorrow and you vote Tory, you may as well take a shit on a child's desk on your way out".

This kind of polarised thinking and this assumption of moral superiority is what has led us to the situation we find ourselves in. It is deeply unpleasant to bully and hector people this way and it does NOTHING to alter people's voting intentions; in fact it puts people off. The sooner left wingers stop working on the premise that anyone who doesn't vote Labour is literally evil and uncaring the better. I have never in my life voted conservative, but I know that people who do are just people. Maybe they are a small business owner worried about business rates or someone who finds the authoritarian streak of the Corbynite left deeply unpleasant or someone who believes in small government or free speech rather than compelled woke speech. But they are, largely, just ordinary people like you who love their family and friends, and neither bigots nor evil.

Maybe grow up a bit and stop assuming moral superiority. Incidentally, once you start seeing your position as morally superior, and the other as morally inferior, and start using collective negative judgement on a whole body of people (bigots, uncaring, racist, idiots etc) then your thinking is heading for the foothills of fascism.

BikeRunSki · 15/12/2019 09:04

Jack Munro posted this article on their cookery blog yesterday. It echos the feelings of this thread.

Alanis126 · 15/12/2019 09:22

The reality is, there are a lot of people who hate foreigners, are at least a bit racist & don't like the idea of a welfare state. When I lived in London I befriended a neighbour who was from northern England. He (not me, he) said that one of the reasons he left is because he couldn't stand the casual ignorance and racism of those around him. Obviously not everyone in the north is racist or ignorant, but I don't think it does anyone any favours to pretend it doesn't exist, & that it is possibly more prevalent in places like Blyth Valley than in London. Its just not politically correct to say so, but that doesn't make it untrue. I'm so utterly sick of hearing people on TV going on about " oppohtunities oop ere" then blaming immigrants for it. But that's ok apparently because their grandfather was a miner.

OP posts:
FainaSnowChild · 15/12/2019 09:25

Read that last post back, you condescending madam, especially the bit where you ape a Northern accent. Imagine if one of those ignorant yorkshiremen were imitating an Indian accent. You would be apoplectic.

Moral high ground? Don't make me laugh. Get out of your London bubble and understand that you, and people like you, are part of the reason we have a conservative landslide.

Chattybum · 15/12/2019 09:33

I think you and reality may have parted company for a bit here. You and other labour supporters are not 'the nice ones' and Tory voters 'the horrible ones'. This isn't primary school, and the fact you have reached this conclusion is very worrying.

Chattybum · 15/12/2019 09:53

Also literally taking the piss out of the population of the north, the way they speak and casting stereotypes on people you don't know or understand - ignorant and xenophobic much? You are a complete hypocrite.

ChequerBoard · 15/12/2019 09:58

I find this song helpful. The composer wrote it about his feelings after Trump won the US presidential election. It is very apt for many of us this week...

kalinkafoxtrot45 · 15/12/2019 10:01

It is depressing but it is what it is. I’m sad and angry too. Do what you can, where you are, to improve things. Despair helps nobody.

Costacoffeeplease · 15/12/2019 10:04

What @Chattybum said

Alanis126 · 15/12/2019 10:05

Also literally taking the piss out of the population of the north, the way they speak and casting stereotypes on people you don't know or understand - ignorant and xenophobic much? You are a complete hypocrite
It was a northerner who said to me that he left it because of the attitudes of the local people. I'm tired of the indulgence shown to people who are racist and backward-looking just because they may be working class.

OP posts:
Costacoffeeplease · 15/12/2019 10:07

Did you have to write in a fake northern accent? Jeez

MustardScreams · 15/12/2019 10:10

At least when Brexit does go tits up that blonde prick won’t have anyone else to blame but himself.

That is what I’m holding on to. I’ll be surprised if we leave by the 31st January.

senua · 15/12/2019 10:17

I'm tired of the indulgence shown to people who are racist and backward-looking just because they may pretend to be working class.
Are we talking about JC here?Grin

BusterGonad · 15/12/2019 10:20

There's no one quite so intolerant as a Labour voter. So quick to judge others and yet they have zero tolorance of anyone who disagrees with them.

FainaSnowChild · 15/12/2019 10:23

The Tory heartlands are in the shires of Southern England so by your reckoning the ignorant racists are largely a little closer to home.

Now, imagine you are the guy in the ex mining town who is struggling to get a good job. What might his voting priorities be?
Paying 12bn to cancel the debt of largely middle class privileged ex-students who studied philosophy at Durham, as outlined in the 2017 manifesto?
Paying back the pensions of waspi women, regardless of how wealthy they may be? Because they had to work to a younger age than he will have to?
Spending a fortune renationalising the train service he doesn't use?
Ensuring that people can identify as whatever sex they choose and enshiring that in law?
Getting free broadband when they choose to extend it out to Northern small towns?
A promise of better benefits, when what you really want is small businesses to open locally and take on employees, which they won't be able to afford to do if business rates rise exponentially?

Not everyone votes Tory because they are racist....


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StealthPussy · 15/12/2019 10:36

Most people vote Tory because they are selfish. They think only about what benefits them in the short term. Not about what’s best for everyone and the environment we live in in the long term.
Conservative ideology is abusive in its essence. ‘I’ am rich and I keep ‘you’ poor because that makes me richer. Financial abuse. I vote for policies that lead to poverty and underfunding in the NHS which directly negatively affects your health and risks your life. Physical abuse. I tell everyone that your leader is anti Semitic when in fact it is the hard right who are fascists. Gaslighting, projecting, therefore emotional abuse.

theflushedzebra · 15/12/2019 11:14

Alanis - those northerners, you're calling racist and backward looking (based on the word of one northerner you met), voted for Boris because they want Brexit, and labour's policy on brexit was woolly and badly formulated. They also didn't like Corbyn. This has come out time and time again in polls, but Labour didn't listen.

I didn't vote for Boris, but I knew he was going to win.
If you've watched "Brexit: The Uncivil War" - it is easy to understand. Dom Cummings knows how to win stuff - he targeted the northern Labour voters - Labour didn't.

Corbyn, I think, took his core northern voters for granted, and he's paid the price.

ChewChewIsMySpiritAnimal · 15/12/2019 11:47

I agree with everything you said FainaSnowChild. Op, your posts are showing exactly why the Tories won. Its a shame you don't afford the northern working class the same respect as you do people like you. Maybe you should step outside London and learn about what life is like for people outside the capital.

Posts like yours are far more offensive than a Yorkshireman wanting to see more jobs and investment in communities like his. You clearly see the northern working classes as less worthy than you. I think in the left's rush to make sure every single person's feelings are validated, you've forgotten to factor in the neglected communities in the North who as FainaSnowChild says don't want free broadband etc. They want local jobs for local people, investment in infrastructure and decent schooling for their children. They're not racist and ignorant for having different priorities to you. Some of them might be. But some far left activists are showing themselves up to be just as intolerant and vile as the worst kind of far right racist.

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