Is there an 'underclass' on MN?

[wildswans]

I have name changed for this.

I have been on MN for about 6 months - off and on - and one of the most interesting aspects is the insight into people's lives and the contrasts and similarities. You can communicate with others you probably wouldn't meet in RL and in circumstances where they feel able to be completely open and frank about themselves, their families, their worries, their aspirations etc.

However, I can't help wondering if there is an 'underclass' who subscribe to MN. I have noticed, in particular, that any site which relates in any way to money or status - such as jobs and level of earnings and spending or whether a SAHM or WOHM - provokes very strong reactions. By this I don't just mean engaging in heated debate - which is part of the fun - but there is an undercurrent of envy and spite, which is very unattractive.

There are clearly a lot of high earning, highly successful women in MN and a number who have DHs who are well off. There are also lots who are earning less but do worthwhile and fulfilling jobs and others who are happy to care for their DC full time. Most MNs agree that it's all about choices and it doesn't really matter what you choose as long as it's right for you.

Yet the 'underclass' often seek to highjack interesting and constructive threads by pouring scorn on anyone who is a high earner, can afford tickets to the theatre (or even the zoo in one case!), or go on decent holidays. Presumably these are the ones who want the entrepreneurs to be taxed into exile and for a 'mansion tax' to be imposed. I can tell you that you don't get a 'mansion' for £2m in london or the South East, so what is that all about? In my view, it's nasty spiteful class envy and emanates from a small number of people on MNs who haven't achieved much in their lives so don't think anyone else should either.

Has anyone else reached this conclusion or AIBU?

ha- x posted mini
well said

"The worst snobs tend to be the self made who preach the mantra look at me"

Well, to me that is better than being one of those who go - look at me. I got no education, no money and my children got no prospects and its all Society's fault.

"you are quick to judge others less fortunate or less "applied" to the pursuit of wealth."

I apply myself to the 'pursuit' of improvement. Wealth is merely a side effect. I push my DCs so that they get Distinction for their music grades. There is no 'wealth' issues here. I just want them to be the best they can be. I push them academically because I want them to choose their careers as opposed to letting their academics their career. DD wants to be a music therapist with children. Not very highly paid but she needs top grades in order to get any where. As I said in my earlier post, why is ambition bad if you are middleclass?

"Quick to judge others?" Guilty as charged.

I work with a guy who has a Masters in Advanced Number Crunching from Oxford. His parents were Vietnamese boat people from the 70s. They left their country with nothing but the clothes on their backs and spent 2 years in a refugee camp in Hong Kong before being settled here in the UK speaking no English. If you have issues with my 'self help' attitude then you should hear what he has to say about the indigenous poor :o

I don't think class is something you can escape. My parents came from wealthy backgrounds but both would describe themselves as working class. My mother was married to a count and my father dated the duke of Norfolks daughter but I grew up aware that wealth alone did not dictate class, neither did education or attitude.

Class is dictated by how you work, for whom and why. I believe there are only two classes. 90% of people are therefore working class irrespective of personal wealth and circs seeking to escape personal circs doesn't make you this gold standard "middle class" it makes you relatively better off compared to your peers.

PushedToTheEdge - have you warned your dd that if she chooses to become a poorly paid music therapist, she may not be able to ensure the high quality of education for her children that you are paying for her to receive? You see, having worked in a City law firm, I have met quite a few people who were working more to maintain the lifestyle to which they had become accustomed and were scared to give up (the ability to afford private school fees, to pay for a nanny to look after their children, etc) than for anything else. A fair proportion of them would clearly have been happier being, eg, musicians, academics, research scientists, or just doing less lucrative legal work elsewhere, if it weren't for the question of money and status, yet only a very few actually took the step of going off to do something entirely different, so you could say that their qualifications had still trapped them into not really doing what they wanted, rather than setting them free: they couldn't have everything they wanted, so they chose money and status over all other considerations.

Sometimes, when you reach your goal, you realise it isn't as glittering as you expected, but it is very difficult to back away from what is supposed to be such a fabulous prize, because it seems such a hard thing to do when you have built up so many years behind you in reaching the wrong goal. And ironically, lots of people seem to make sacrifices for their children so that their children can have all sorts of fabulous choices in their adulthood, but the children's response is to feel obliged to trap themselves in their turn into highly paid careers they don't like, so that they can pay for their children to have choices (which they also won't take, because they feel trapped into going for the options that will pay them enough to ensure their children get the privileges they had....).