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Original poster

roman catholic baptism. HELP!

52 replies

jaabaar · 14/04/2010 16:58

Hi,

I am roman catholic and want to baptis my 2 month old baby in august.

I have two godmothers which are christian orthodox. Now by reading internet i have found out that other baptised christians cannot be godparents unless another one is catholic!

I chose those two people because I know them for many years, I can trust them, they are religious and do sometimes attend mass.

Now I found out I cannot use them ((((.

Does the priest have discrection in allowing baptised christians to be godmothers at catholic baptism or is it an absolute no no no. ??

Does anyone know which forms i have to fill in? Have appointment with priest next monday!

thanks...

OP posts:
LoveJules3 · 19/04/2010 18:31

Ah, it works differently for RC then. My Mil is actually a named Godmother, which i found a bit anyway, Feels too 'this baby's mine, mine i tell you!' for my tastes.

Original poster
jaabaar · 20/04/2010 12:08

Hi All!

Went yesterday to priest and all went well!
He gave me a form to fill in which only asked for the names of the godparents. I told him they are both women instaed of man and woman. He said it doesnt matter as long as one is RC. However he didint ask me direclty if one of them is RC so I didnt tell him!
and now i feel very bad for not having told as I basically lied.....

But I know that those two godmothers are religios and will accompany us to catholic mass and lead with good example. Is that very bad?

OP posts:
BAFE · 22/04/2010 22:55

exactly what religion are the two godmothers?

When you say "christian orthadox" do you mean russian orthadox or greek orthadox, because my understanding is that russian or greek orthadox is the same as catholic anyway.

TheFallenMadonna · 22/04/2010 22:57

Not since the Great Schism.

ComeAgain · 23/04/2010 10:20

Sorry to hijack but I am having one Catholic GP and 2 Christian witnesses for my DS. Will all their names go on the birth certificate or just the Catholin one?

acorntree · 23/04/2010 10:44

ComeAgain, in our case - (4 Godparents as far as I am concerned but officially 2 catholic GP and 2 non-catholic christian witnesses) - our parish priest put all their names on the baptism certificate under 'Godparents'. Ask your priest what he does.

Original poster
jaabaar · 23/04/2010 14:52

The two godmothers are both greek orthodox.

OP posts:
ComeAgain · 23/04/2010 17:44

Jaabar I think you're being very naughty there. If you're not going to take it seriously and actually find Catholics to godparent your child, then why bother with the Catholic baptism in the first place? Why not have your child baptised Greek Orthodox instead! You only need one, you know that. And it's been pointed out that they don't actualy have to be there on the day so it's not like the Church is making it difficult for you.

It's really inappropriate to take the view that because he didn't ask you didn't technically lie. What will you say to your child when he's older and asks why none of his GPs are Catholic. He'll know you deliberately misled your priest. That doesn't set a very good example does it?

Not trying to get him into a Catholic school by any chance are you???

Salbysea · 25/04/2010 19:51

Comeagain, I was told that only 2 go on the main cert but you can have as many as you want

OP, omitting the truth when you are aware a non-truth is being assumed is lying. There really was no need for you to do that! You were aware from this thread that either one from the parish could be appointed, or that you can have one that isn't physically at the day. You were by no means backed into a corner and forced to lie now were you!

StrictlyKatty · 26/04/2010 11:09

I was told only 2 on the certificate and 1 must be RC. Priest said he preferred just having 2 as the other 2 would not be official anyway. Noone I know has had more than 2.

Both of ours were Catholic as tbh, we are having DS baptised as a Catholic so feel it's important that he's GP's are RC too.

Original poster
jaabaar · 28/04/2010 21:32

ComeAgain

No I am not trying to get her into a catholi School. I am a regular church goer next to my work and unfortunatley only attend rarely the local church.

I would NEVER use religion to obtain anything.

The reason I chose the people I did (which are greek orthodox and who do attend RC Church too wiht us on celebrations) is that they lead by example a religious life and have faith and my child can look up to them. The catholics I know would only be on paper, dont go to church and themselves are only on paper.

Religion and prayers have given me strenght in many situations in my life and I will do my very best to teach my daughter too.

Above is regarding your question if I want to get into a catholic school.....

Now the other point you are making that I am naughty you are absolutely right . I cant argue about that. But having weighted up the above points I think that having orthodox godparents and RC parents who are practising and trying to teach and live by example is still better than me being a paper catholic with paper RC Godparents who only see the church from inside when they get married....

OP posts:
Original poster
jaabaar · 28/04/2010 21:33

Salbysea.

No I was not forced into a corner, you are right.

But what can a stranger appointed provide for my child? Or someone who is not there and by proxy who anyways would not contribute to the child's life?

Just to have it correctly on paper?

OP posts:
Jajas · 28/04/2010 21:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
jaabaar · 28/04/2010 21:57

Jajas

I wish I had family like you I could ask, I would.

The priest doesnt check if they are or are not.

I had to fill in a form. I myself asked him if it is ok to have two mothers instead of a mother and a father. He said of course only one should be RC he said. He was not bothered at all about it.

OP posts:
Original poster
jaabaar · 28/04/2010 22:10

The form doesnt even ask what religion the godparents are. It does ask what religion the parents are.

OP posts:
Jajas · 28/04/2010 22:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Salbysea · 28/04/2010 23:14

you were well aware that one was to be RC. Just because you were trusted to comply and not asked for proof or to declare it on a form does not make it right! you were made aware of what was expected of you and given the chance to fess up or find one, without even having to replace your chosen god parents. You know you ABU really!

Original poster
jaabaar · 29/04/2010 09:52

Jajas
Lol, yep life! Who knows maybe one day you will find again your faith? You never know.

Salbysea.
Salbysea, no it does not make it right.
What is ABU?
If this is my only sin as a catholic in my life, then I sure am a saint. Like our religion says: The one wihtout sin may cast the first stone. You shall not judge. And also I shall not lie.

However I still believe and know in my heart that Jesus would not reject me for having chosen Godparents who will lead by religious example. The whole reason behind having a RC godparent is that we must ensure our child learns the religion, and trust me that will happen.

OP posts:
ComeAgain · 04/05/2010 00:43

Jaabaar I can hardly believe the lengths you are going to on here to justify what you know is deceitful.

You are lying by omission. Acknowledging this does not make it ok, it makes it worse. All your "howevers" do not add up to telling the truth. You are making up rules to suit yourself. No two ways about it. And it is rather facile of you to say the "Jesus wouldn't mind".

I stand by my suggestion that if the only people in your life you respect are Greek Orthodox, you should be seeking to baptise your child as one. As a Catholic myself, and one who is taking the process of baptising my child quite seriously, I feel you are really taking the piss. You seem to think you know better than the Church how things should be done.

Do your Greek friends not think this is weird??? Never mind your daughter when she grows up and tells this story to people - and she will!

Original poster
jaabaar · 04/05/2010 16:00

ComeAgain
I do respect all people, of all faiths.
I did not pretend that my "howevers" are adding up to the truth.

I am and NEVER would take the piss! And I find it quite offending you saying that, not knowing me. You dont know what I do for the church or not.

As I said: You shall not judge.

I will repent for my one lie.

My greek friends do not find it weird at all. We believe in one God.

I think you should concentrate on people who try to baptise their children for getting into schools. Or baptize by the rules and then dont follow the church rules for the rest of their lives.

OP posts:
ComeAgain · 04/05/2010 18:07

"I am not taking the piss".

Yes you are - you are making light of a fundamental requirement for baptism and making up your own rules instead. If, based on all your reasonings, you really think it is so acceptable not to have a single Catholic GP for your child - why not simply let your priest know this? Explain to him as you have explained to us and perhaps he will agree with you...

I really hope you change your mind about this. You are certainly not treating your priest, your Church or your faith with the respect they deserve. I could add your child to this list but won't.

What you "do" for the Church is irrelevant.

What others do is also irrelevant

I have honestly never heard of this before and am quite shocked that you have the front to come on here and ask people to agree with you and make your feel better about your deceit. Good luck with explaining to your daughter when she is older about how lying your way though life gets you what you want.

"I will repent for my one lie" - planning to repent afterwards?????? but go ahead and get the deed done first????? That takes the biscuit.

Original poster
jaabaar · 05/05/2010 11:17

Oh dear, you are one angry person. As I said you shall not judge.

I did NOT try and make people agree with me at all. I also accept your opinion which is quite a right opinion. However the way you bring it across is well not very right.

I will talk to my priest and get back to you.

I just expressed my personal humble opinion that having a stranger who is never involved in my child's religious upbringing does not fullfil the role of a GP.

WHy is what someone does for the church irrelevant? I think it is relevant tha RC do their good deeds.

I will let this rest now as you are very distressing.

AS mentioned FEW times before I accept your point of view and hope you can leave it at that.

OP posts:
ShoshanaBlue · 05/05/2010 21:37

They are just the fundamental requirements for baptism, not just a 'point of view'.

SoLongAsItsHealthy · 05/05/2010 23:32

Jaabaar I don't know what talking to your priest again wil achieve, it's a thoroughly reasonable requirement of a Catholic baptism to have a Catholic godparent! Can't you see this? I agree with the above poster who said it is not just a "point of view". You really shouldn't lie your way through this. You need to find a Catholic GP for your child, even if it's not easy to do, or the ideal person, and be done with it. I see your point that you don't know any suitable candidates but I'm afraid rules are rules and you will simply have to find one.

By the way, it's rather arrogant to imply that you are aware you are doing wrong and that you will "repent later". I think that kind of premeditated sin is the very worst kind.

Also - whilst it is important to do good deeds for the Church, it is very wrong to do them as a way of mitigating your future wrongdoings.... I think that's what Comeagain was saying.

Original poster
jaabaar · 06/05/2010 11:21

When I referred to the point of view I was not referring to the rules. I was referring to ComeAgain opinions about me.

Speaking to the priest I meant going and speak to him BEFORE the baptism and tell him that the two GP are NOT RC.

The good deeds done in the past was not in preparation of mitigation for future wrong doings. It was just to mention that saying I am taking the piss of the church was not entirely justified. Also to accuse me of getting my child into a catholic school is not justified.

Hope that clarifies?

OP posts: