How can I reconcile with the church in the wake of abuse scandal?

[chibi]

I really feel like this is the last straw. It's funny, I knew that the church has done some crappy things in it's history, but somehow this latest sex abuse scandal has just clinched it for me- I don't think I want to go back. I feel sick and betrayed. It goes so far beyond 'well priests are human and fallible blah blah' the whole church itself knew and covered it up. Probably even the one who is pope now.

I feel like I can't go to mass anymore as it won't just be me being with god but will be me giving my assent and consent to all thus awfulness - do what you like, I don't mind, I'll come back no matter what.

I can't just shop around for a new branch of Christianity, to me that's like saying well if your parents are abusive just get new ones! It's them or nothing, really.

Fellow Catholics, how is all this affecting you? I feel cut adrift.

Please no anticatholic bile spewing I know exactly how awful my church is already.

well why would they be, if the message had gone out loud and clear that no one high up wanted to hear about it?

I understand you completely chibo.

I just feel, that this has been going on for generations, probably ever since they banned married priests and started to be an exclusive club of sexually repressed weirdos. All the evidence points to the protection of child abusers being well organised.
And I'm sure that they are now sitting there, monitoring discussions like this one and watching the press, and thinking, "we just need to sit this one out, and in a few years everything can get back to normal"

Sadly, I don't see any signs of real repentance, or a desire for change from the top. As a christian, this worries me a lot, and because Im not catholic, I feel even more powerless.

Chibi, have you read this?

The last three paragraphs have helped me to get my head around what is happening in the UK now, but I, like you, still struggle with what has happened in our (global) Church.

I feel such disgust and shame, but that is in those who abused, and anyone who delibrately covered it up, not in God and not in my individual Church, Priest and parishoners. That is why I am still committed to my faith.

insert, I am effectively taking the same stance by saying Oh well, the C of E isnt involved, so Ill just carry on believing in them, and of course, I condemn abusive priests.
But by doing this, we are supporting the abusers. They just have to sit tight until we shut up, and then carry on as before. Even if they wait 10 or 20 years.

The problem is, that as christians, we aren't organised to be militant, or to kick our leaders out. And we haven't got a clear leader, or a clear strategy.

I guess I often don't feel that 'connected' to the universal Catholic Church, so it is difficult to make judgements on what is going on in Rome, and how much I trust what is said.

I know that in my Parish, CP prceedures are high on the adgenda. Those responsible for safeguarding have their names and numbers on our weekly newsletter, our mission statement talks about welcoming everyone, regardless of race, background, sexual orientation etc.

I have to believe that I and those I worship with will not 'shut up' about this in 10 or 20 years time - I am still struggling to understand how anyone shut up about it before!

I hope you are right, but how long will people be willing to talk about this, when the media moves on?
I just feel that all our anger is being dissipated in places like this, while those in power carry on unaffected.
The catholic church is not the only organisation that has dealt with abuse in this way, incidentally - when I was at Oxford, several dons were pointed out as known abusers, one had been moved around to a different college. There was a similar feeling there, than any behaviour must be covered up, because he's one of us.

see here India Knight sums up my feelings to perfection

Perhaps the difference, nighbynight, between Oxofrd and the Catholic Church is that the church pertains to be morally good and righteaous.

This shows more evidence to me, that there is no correlation between religiousness and being good.

I look it like whats happeing with Tiger Woods. ok, he slept around, he's in idiot.

The fact that he sold himself a being a paragon of virtue whist he was doing it, makes me want him to get everything (bad) thats coming to him.

I think its the same for the church. You pertain to be moral and good and do this?

You should suffer, be ridiculed and challenged/attacked be all.

Many in Oxford see themselves as secular moral leaders, on account of their extraordinary intelligence. (I tend to see them as arrogant twats, I might add)
This thread isnt about using the current events to say that the whole of christianity is worthless, though.

what do people think to the Archbishop of Canterbury's comments?

I'm not sure they are "helpful" (for want of a better word) but he does seem to understand the depth of feeling about this more than some of those in the higher eschelons of the Vatican. Whatever else, he is an intelligent and deeply thoughtful man, so I can't believe he hadn't thought through very careful what he said, he wouldn't have said it "accidentally".

I know exactly how you feel chibi, I was raised Catholic but I am now not a practicing one now. I think your concerns are rational and heartfelt, it is an impossible situation, personally once at the young age of 18 I found out that a local priest had told the parents of my best friend, whose father had sexually abused her, that it was fine he should be allowed to move back into the home - I never again went to mass. This was 20 yrs ago, and the pain that my friend has had to endure in her life has been hard to watch, a life destroyed. At least things are starting to come out but for me, it's all too much, I don't know how anyone goes to mass.

Two things not mentioned so far in this thread:

1. Claims that this is only about individuals and not the institution would hold more water if this wasn't a Church with such a bizarre (to put it politely) attitude to sexuality. Priestly celibacy, contraception, homophobia etc etc. It seems ridiculous to not at least consider the extent to which priestly celibacy has been a causative factor.
2. The Church's response has involved a huge amount of bluster and indignation, eg the pope's preacher saying "poor Pope, it's like when the Jews got persecuted" which rather misses the point about the fact that antisemitism as practised by the Catholic church involved Torquemada, autos da fe, expulsions, pogroms etc actual violence rather than merely justified criticism.

Thank you all for your thoughts.

I have decided to not go to mass anymore, at least until the church sorts itself out (defrocking priests, handing over suspected child rapists to the police etc).

I am going to go to a c of e church today, and if it feels right, carry on going. I will bring the dc with me.

I won't have the dc take any more sacraments until they are of an age to decide for themselves.

I hope everyone who has been wrestling with this finds peace.

Happy Easter, may the lord be with you!

chibi, I hope you will feel ok in the c of e...we are a broad church.
I dont think that anyone in the c of e wanted to make converts for this reason, but the Archbishop of Canterbury's comments do seem to reflect how many c of e people feel about the situation. I dont think the people who criticise him seem to understand, but I read it that he (Rowan Williams) thinks the response of the catholic church is not enough. Similarly, I mistrust the man whose critical comments were quoted in the BBC article, because he drops into religious platitudes about being "on a journey" with teh priests and parents involved.

I hope you enjoyed the CofE service yesterday Chibi, & I hope your "plan" for a way forward brings you peace.