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Philosophy/religion

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All the Muslim ladies!

104 replies

GothAnneGeddes · 05/02/2010 14:10

Salaam Aalikum,

I know we sometimes have threads for Ramadan and other events, but I was wondering if we could have a general Muslim ladies one.

I have to give a big hijab flutter to Riven who is always so patient explaining Islam on here. I usually always end up resorting to name calling.

OP posts:
fuzzywuzzy · 16/05/2010 13:53

Sapphire, nooooo those robes are lovely (I have no money shouldnt have clicked on the link).

On the beach I wear long loose cotton pants and long sleeved tops, I find it far more uncomfortable having direct sunlight on my skin, also wear long skirts or dresses, all in cotton or linen.

I have a friend (non muslim) who is a red head, she burns really badly. She was admiring my abaya, so I gave her an abaya as a gift, and apparently she uses it as beach wear in Spain (where she has a holiday home!)!

sapphire87 · 16/05/2010 14:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MickyLee · 16/05/2010 16:40

Just got back from the beach.

My DH saw me dreesing and told me it is very inpractical to wear what i was going to wear and told me to put on my long denim short.. whic fall on the knee.. he said don't worry and if any SIL say anything to tell them he told me to wear them.

When we got there one SIL looked at me disaproving but i just made ot not to notice and all went fine. I am so glad my DH supports me bless him and you guys gave me the go ahead so i had the confidence. Now next time no issue

Thank you ladies

GothAnneGeddes · 21/05/2010 02:42

MickyLee - Glad it was ok for you.

I've ran over here because I'm feeling BurkaThreadRage. I did manage to to formulate a coherant answer and not swear or call anyone stupid, but it was soooooo tempting.

Hope you are all well, insha Allah.

OP posts:
sarah293 · 28/05/2010 08:30

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Message withdrawn

Firawla · 29/05/2010 14:17

Gothanne what are they saying in the burka thread? i saw one in news,but i didnt even open it because i thought it will make me angry, as it was longggg so probly full of arguing
are there any other sisters on mumsnet who wear niqaab? i dont really get why others have to make it their business, we dont force them 2 wear it so leave us to ourselves if we wear it.

biscuitsandbandages · 30/05/2010 15:12

Salaam ladies,

Riven

I've got one of these www.mycozzie.com/viewdetails.php?prodid=6 Its more like a long swimsuit than a wetsuit so is really easy to put on/ I wear a normal swimsuit underneath and its not clingy when I get out of the water so I don't mind walking about in it. I get a few funny looks in the pool but its safe, hygienic and designed for swimming and at least it means I can take my DSs swimming.

GothAnneGeddes · 02/06/2010 01:13

Firawla - It kind of got a bit sidetracked on a discussion of Ataturk, for which I'm to blame.

Other then that it's the same old "We must oppress save the Muslim woman for her own good".

OP posts:
UmmLayla · 05/06/2010 12:56

Assalaamu alaikum sisters, I just wanted to share with you all an email I sent out to my friends, but it is open to all my sisters in Islam (as long as I can get to you LOL)

It reads as follows:

Assalaamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatahu,

I hope this reaches you all in the best of health and the strongest of imaan.

Some of you may have heard me going on and on and on lol about becoming a doula and now Masha-Allah I have finished my training alhumdulillah.

To be honest with you I don't think you can ever say that you have finished training, as every birth and every mother is different and your always learning new things.

Although I have finished my training I need to attend 4 births and 4 postnatal jobs to become a certified doula!

My intention insha-Allah is to travel by the end of the year so time is of essence for me to get my certification before I leave here insha-Allah,
Soooooo......

I'm offering a REALLY special offer for my first 4 births and 4 postnatal jobs.

I have 3 birth packages.

(All 3 packages have 2 antenatal visits and 1 post-natal visit.)

The first package includes attending the birth.

The second is for labouring at home only and not the birth.

The third does not include labouring or attending the birth.

With both the second and third package I will still be available for calls or emails whilst in labour at home or the hospital (if phone calls are allowed in the hospital)

For my postnatal services:

I would ask the mother what it is she would like me to do, as the list can be endless of what I can do.

I don?t:

Walk or maintain pets (except fish)

Do school runs that require transportation but can do local walking runs.

Do shopping due to transport but can pack away shopping after a deliver of can get a few items from a local shop.

Do ironing.

I charge by the hour and ask for a minimum of 2 hours.

It is also important to note that Doulas are there to support women through pregnancy, birth and after birth, to give them faith in their own bodies. We are not medical professionals and our advice should not replace medical advice. Doulas are not cleaners or babysitters although some doulas may offer this occasionally as part of their package. Doulas may also charge for travel expenses separate from their packages or hourly rates.

My special offer is for number 1 of my birth package which will be FREE to the first 4 ladies and for the first 4 ladies who book me for postnatal with a minimum of 20hrs I will also give them 20hrs for FREE (excluding travel).

I'm based in South East London (Brockley/ New Cross) but will work outside of my area I would have to discuss this.

So please sisters forward this on for me bearing in mind that I MAY not be here from as early as August and as late as December and Allah is The best of Planners.

I'm particularly looking to help first time sisters, sisters trying for VBAC (Vaginal birth after Cesarean), twin births, sisters who have had traumatic births, sisters who's husband will not be able to attend and sister wanting home or water births. Oh I'll help any one really lol.

Please feel free to email me any quires (I won't charge lol), it's all learning for me too if I don't know.

For any one who doesn't know what a Doula is then check it out:

Doula UK

www.doula.org.uk/content/duk/about/faq_what_is_a_doula.asp

and

Nurturing Birth who I trained with.

www.nurturingbirth.co.uk/whatdoesadd.html

Jazak-Allahu khiran

Umm Layla

[email protected]

GothAnneGeddes · 14/07/2010 10:14

Bumping this because there's a burka thread (again) and Ya Rabb, the ignorance! Tbf, there have have been some good comments, but it's descended into 'oh those poor women/those wicked Muslim men.

I trying not to participate, but I wanted to come here for a vent.

OP posts:
gorionine · 14/07/2010 10:21

Belated congratulations Ummlayla!

I am keeping out of Burka thread as well now. Been there done that...

No doubt I will lurk though

NotHereThanks · 17/07/2010 14:18

As a non Muslim lurker far more frightening than any Burkha thread is this one. How many of you the comments from the woman suffering domestic abuse and controlling husband? Some posts even agreeing that they can imagine their husband being the same, in a light hearted way . I can only imagine that people on the thread claiming that Muslim woman are oppressed and controlled by men simply have to look here to see that it's true.

You should be ashamed.

moggiek · 17/07/2010 16:01

NHT - couldn't agree more.

moonstorm · 17/07/2010 16:32

NHT - agree

maristella · 17/07/2010 16:48

no woman should fear the consequences of disobeying her husband, no woman should have to obey her husband, no woman should be without the power to make decisions about her children.
to the poster worried for her child, and worried for herself should she stand up to her husband: seek support in RL, there is support out there for you x

NotHereThanks · 17/07/2010 16:51

I hope that issues that face women of any faith do not feel that they cannot seek help outside of their faith for fear of not being a good Muslim/Christian/Hindu etc

gorionine · 17/07/2010 16:58

NTH, I do not understand your post

"How many of you the comments from the woman suffering domestic abuse and controlling husband?" is there a word missing somewhere?

Who should be ashamed?

NotHereThanks · 17/07/2010 17:08

should read:

How many of you have avoided/diminished the comments from the woman suffering domestic abuse and controlling husband?

Triggles · 17/07/2010 17:59

Sorry, another lurker here, but I don't think that the women on this thread diminished the comments that feelinglost2010 made at all. She was given the advice to seek assistance within the religious community initially and also to speak to her husband, to see if there was something else going on, as it seemed to be fairly sudden or recent behaviour. To me, though I am not muslim, this seems a reasonable course of action. Obviously speaking to her husband will possibly give her more insight into what he's thinking about, and as obviously he would respect the opinion of leaders or religious persons in his community, going to them for assistance in speaking to him is also appropriate. Please note they also said that his behaviour is not appropriate. I wondered, reading feelinglost's post, if because she stated that the father felt his son was straying a bit, that he had a bit of a knee jerk reaction because he is afraid the boy will lose his way without extra religious guidance. It's highly possible that her speaking to him, with the assistance of someone within her community, may bring about some reasonable changes and compromises they both can be happy with. I see no problem with that, and I think it's good advice.

Personally, I read this thread as I was curious as to the viewpoints after seeing things in the dreaded burka thread and wanted to see what muslim women were saying about it. It's actually been rather interesting and enlightening, to be honest (in a good way ). Anyway, bowing out now and will leave you alone.

rupert22 · 17/07/2010 18:21

I dont know anything of the Muslim religion really. Feelinglost, i was wondering though, as a non muslim, did you discuss how you both would raise your child Before having them, and is this a total turnaround from what was agreed?

I do think it seems very strict and limiting of the child's down time. My ds brings a little muslim friend home sometimes and he is allowed to watch cartoons, play the usual computer games and eat with us, although no pork obviously. He is a darling boy with wonderful manners. I would have him to stay in a flash.

sarah293 · 17/07/2010 18:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

gorionine · 17/07/2010 18:37

I do not think anyone did actually avoid or diminish what feelinglost was saying TBH. If you think that, you have not read the posts properly. She has been advised by most posters to go to marriage councelling (sp?) rather than just giving up all together. Is that such a bad advice? She has been advised to seek RL support. Is the only possibility for her to leave her DH?. Nobody said she should just accept her situation, nobody.

When a poster (forgot her name, sorry, said that a lot of husbands were the same she was not refering to controlling but to how worried they are that their children might not get a proper islamic education. Yes, at times it can make them a bit irrational but not bad men altogether,or bad fathers or bad husbands. Discussion is needed in most cases, not giving up on the marriage, it is not going to help her nor will it make her DH see
sense IYSWIM.

Now if no discussion or councelling will be enough to make things better seperation might be the only answer but it should not be the first thing to advise.

"I hope that issues that face women of any faith do not feel that they cannot seek help outside of their faith for fear of not being a good Muslim/Christian/Hindu etc "

I totally agree with you but there is no reason why she could not also seek help/advice from people of the same faith as well.

"I can only imagine that people on the thread claiming that Muslim woman are oppressed and controlled by men simply have to look here to see that it's true."

It would be like me saying "you only have to look at the relationship topic to realise that all non muslim men are drunks, cheat on their wife, mentally abuse them..." It would not be true but then again I am not convinced you care too much as long as you can discredit the whole of one religion on such facts.

There are idiots in both camps, do not worry Muslim do not have the monopoly of it.

gorionine · 17/07/2010 18:43

""I hope that issues that face women of any faith do not feel that they cannot seek help outside of their faith for fear of not being a good Muslim/Christian/Hindu etc " "

That made me really think actually. How many non Muslims do you know have seeked marital guidance fromn an Imam or a Rabbi? My guess is not that many... because at times it probably would not make any sense...

gorionine · 17/07/2010 18:45

Well, it would make sense for a Jewish person to seek advice from a Rabbi

NotHereThanks · 17/07/2010 18:54

But g, Why would someone experiencing marriage difficulties seek advice from a religious leader if they weren't religious? The reverse is different because a Muslim woman being abused by her husband, like the poster here, could access many more services outside of her religion.

I could put money on the fact that some of the responses here are very different, from the same posters, as they would be on a thread not about Muslims.