Christians' views on sex within/ outside marriage?

[MrsMerryHenry]

As ever I'm ruminating over various aspects of my faith and am interested to know what are the views of the Christians on mn about sex within/ outside marriage. I'm not referring to adultery; I mean do you think sex should only be for married couples, or do you take a different view? Or, like me, are you waffling somewhere around the middle? Why do you take the view that you do?

TE I'm very disapointed that you haven't memorised the entire Bible, like I have.

I think the way the (often illuminating but frequently ghastly) translation in The Message puts it is quite illuminating - 'repetitive, loveless, cheap sex'
very different from mp's joyful friendly trusting post-dinner party sex although both are outwith marriage and could technically be classed as fornication

sex without any love is one of the saddest things in life, IMO, even if it isn't lifelong lasting husband-and-wife love.

The Message is rather sweet. What IS it? Some trendy commentary? I've never heard of it before.

Paul's passage seems to say to me: "Look, it would be best if you all just concentrated on preaching the good news 100% all day like me, but since you pervs are distracted by cock all the time, just get married and get it over and done with and then you can concentrate on the gospel thing again. OKAY?" (copyright MorningpaperMessage)

I think it is an achingly untrendy 90s US version
it doesn;t quite talk about hos but you can feel it getting close

I like it because it abandons any pretence at Greek sentence structure etc and doesn't do wussy Anglican pussyfooting round words like 'sex'

details here

Look, without 'sex' we wouldnt exist, so lets just recognise it for the greatness that it is, and stop pretending that it is some 'sacred' act only to be enjoyed by husbands and wives....god created men and women - men and women have sex - the world goes on.....only some dont beat themselves to death thinking that sex outwith marriage is a sin.....sex is an act of reproduction/love/lust/all of those things....lets enjoy it and stop worrying about what some crusty old book says....

[waits for thunderbolt to strike K999]

Bollocks....I can smell burning....

marriage is a social convention.

it is man made

god didn't make marriage

this is a historical thing to do with property money and social influance

god had shit all to do with it

am catholic.

I'm ex-Christian, not really anything at the moment.

Wasn't a lot of it to do with wasting sperm - "spilling seed" - being a sin?

PMSL at MP's gloss of 1Cor7! I think you've discovered a new outlet for your talents

I disagree that marriage is just a man-made social convention. There is a lot of cultural baggage around the way that we do marriage. But I think that the basics were set up in Genesis 3 - for this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be united with his wife and the two will become one flesh. I think this implies a public declaration (the leaving), and an exclusive and lifelong committment.

If people want to make this committment without being legally married, I don't think that contravenes the christian idea of marriage. I do think it requires something more than just eg agreeing to move in together though.

MrsMH - I think I initially raised the idea of damage. I wasn't meaning anything particularly spiritual by it (although I think MrsBadger's point is a good one). Just that I've read quite a lot of threads on here where people have jumped into a new relationship with both feet, and are then really hurt when the other party turns out not to return their feelings. I think sex, because it is designed / evolved to make us feel bonded, intensifies and complicates the situation. Best to save it for enhancing a bond that actually exists. (That might not be especially well thought through, so apologies if it sounds like a load of crap.)

Rafi - the spilling seed thing was a particular issue to do with Onan refusing to provide his brother's widow with an heir to inherit his brother's land. Not really anything to do with marriage per se.

I hope my kids all have sex before they marry someone, if they chose to marry at all.

Try the shoe on to see that it fits before you buy it!

I hope my kids all have sex before they marry someone, if they chose to marry at all.

Try the shoe on to see that it fits before you buy it!

Yep Riven..Fornication

Riven - if you look at eg Galatians chapter 5 that donnymouse posted earlier, then adultery and fornication (premarital sex) are indeed listed as being on a par with murder. And with jealousy and selfish ambition.

I don't think God really has a notion of "huge sin". All sin results in us offending God and separating ourselves from him. I think the hugeness thing is mainly us making ourselves feel better about not being quite as sinful as that person over there.

However, the bible does tell us that there is a spiritual dimension to sleeping around. 1 Corinthians 6:15-16 says: "Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never! Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, "The two will become one flesh." So it's not just a question of consenting genitals - there is something more profound going on. (I wouldn't claim to understand exactly what Paul means in this passage though.)

A lot of people prostitute themselves out of addiction and have had terrible childhoods. Many were sexually abused as children. How sad is it that they are so roundly condemned.

am so glad god didn't write the bible

expat - a lot of people on here say that it would be a dealbreaker for their marriage if their DH ever slept with a prostitute. I don't think Paul's sentiment is so very different from that.

Okay, Team. Thanks for clarifying that.

Cornflake, if my husband cheated on me at all it would be a dealbreaker.

you can commit to a person without marriage.