Does anyone have a daily meditation practice? Would anyone like one but needs motivation?

[mangolassi]

Ooh, I feel all shy

I am agnostic and generally confused about spiritual things, but after recovering from a bout of pnd found a great book - The Mindful Way Through Depression. It has a programme of daily meditation, and I've tried in the past, but it's soooo hard to stick to with no support.

The meditation style in the book is 'western insight' - basically vipassana with the Buddhism taken out - but it would be great to have a thread for anyone trying to get started with daily practice, whatever kind of meditation appeals. Even better if there's anyone who actually has a daily practice already

Well I didnt manage to get to the group last night, I wanted to but couldnt get past the fears, not so much the 'new thing' fear but the fact that it'd be dark by the time Id leave the meeting place and Id have to walk through town and wait for a bus.

I have quite a fear of being attacked, seems that since we moved from town to the outskirts Ive become quite a recluse. I generally only go out twice a week, and certainly not into town. So I know Ive got a few issues to overcome - driving, going out, meeting ppl etc but I cant focus on much until I get my exam out of the way in November.

You've no idea how much guilt I carry - I feel bad my childrens weeks arent filled with activities like soft play etc etc

Anyway I'll keep trying, thats about all I can do isnt it.

I hope youre all doing well, Im just trying to concentrate on doing well whatever Im doing at the time, even if it is sweeping the floor or making the beds

I really want to start running again, Ive no one to run with and didnt like running at 6am by myself so Im hoping to be able to run when dp gets in after work, just then Im anxious of everyone in their cars etc even though I know theyre just concentrating on getting home etc!

Hi all
Dillinger - I was sent this quote by Tricycle this morning and thought it applies to those of us who don't go to a group meditation:

------
By sitting with others, even once a week, we reinspire our practice, while in sitting alone we learn self-reliance. Whatever technique one is using, remember that the spirit of practice is more important than the technique. Finding a way to enjoy just sitting is key. Sitting meditation is a refuge, not a test.

?Narayan Liebenson Grady, from ?The Refuge of Sitting,? Tricycle, Winter 2003

Read the complete article on tricycle.com
-----
I've been thinking about what you wrote about feeling guilty about not driving for the kids. Try not to be guilty it's a wasted emotion and I'm sure you give your kids lots of other things rather than the thrill of sitting in traffic jams!

PB and Katie - how has this week been after your retreat? I'm still impressed that you had to do 12 hour silence - what was that like?

Hope all well.
PFS

Hi Dillinger

I was just meditating and was thinking of you. If like me you find it difficult going out in the evening you could go along to a meeting in the daytime. I know you're interested in Buddhism and I don't know if they have any day time meetings in Bath - but the Quakers in Bath do meet have a daytime meeting. See link: www.bathquakermeeting.org.uk/

You don't have to be Christian to attend a Quaker meeting it's open to anyone and they have Buddhist Quakers and agnostic Quakers... etc etc..
Basically you just sit in silence for half an hour and then have a cup of tea.

Anyways - just a thought. Katie regularly goes along to Quaker meetings as you may have read on this thread...

Metta to all.
XX

hello girls!
fluffy, what a very lovely and thoughtful girl you are
dilinger i've been thinking of you too, and wishing very hard that you had more like-minded people around you. it must be very hard going sometimes without a little clutch of girlfriends nearby (not that i am NEEDY in this respect or anything )
i second fluffy re ditching the guilt on many fronts - especially on the driving one. believe me your kids are not going to grow up deprived bcs you haven't inflicted soft play on them!! you are clearly a thoughtful and loving mum to them, what else could they possibly need?
i went to a quaker meeting in bristol this morning, talking of quakers - we were spending the weekend at my in-laws'. it's always interesting going to this meeting as it is so different from my local one - much more vocal (reflecting the very affluent, middle-class area in which it is held, i suspect)! today someone stood up towards the end and said 'i feel the mood is terribly sombre in here today. i went to a singing workshop yesterday - i am going to sing you a palestinian song of praise and i would love you all to join in with me' - not a common quaker event i can tell you! it was quite lovely, though, and definitely lightened the mood. i wasn't personally sombre as such, but admittedly wasn't in joyful mode either, and the song did lift me. a nice little touch!
fluffy - the silence was really, really nice. party because i had had a v social week leading up to the retreat and had not anticipated there being quite so much talking, leading up to the moment that silence was declared! so it was good to have a break and be able to reflect and rest. peanut and i can both TALK (as our posts make it clear on here!!!) so it was nice for both of us to just BE for that stretch of time. and commune silently on the topic of knickers, of course . the only part of the silence i found a bit weird was eating breakfast in the company of 6 people i didn't know very well (peanut was on another table at breakfast) and in quite close quarters to them. that felt a bit uncomfortable. especially as i was non-buddhically harbouring censorious thoughts about what the person opposite me was having for breakfast

back soon! big hugs xxx

ps dillinger - i think re-starting running would be a really, really good idea. perhaps it's even the very best thing you could do at the moment, even better than a buddhist group maybe!

Hi everyone

Nice to meet you Dillinger.
Love the knicker-sharing. A very secure feeling knowing you can rely on those around you in an emergency.

I decided not to do the course for various reasons. But I have been sitting for 10 minutes every morning in dd's first nap. It is a lovely time because I still feel fresh and alert whereas the afternoons are when I start dragging myself about. And trying to do another 10 minutes when she goes down at about 7 but this is hard because by then I am tired and hungry and desperate to get dinner on .

This week I will be alone (with dd) in the house for 3 days and 2 nights while DP is away for work so I will be trying very hard to stay centred and calm without my best friend and support. Please can anyone recommend some readings online that I can go to if I get in a flap?

It is nice to know that all of you are working towards a meditation practice, it is like when you are bfing at 4 in the morning and you can think of all the other mothers out in the dark night doing the same.

Have a good week everyone

Thankyou for the lovely thoughts of me, they are SO much appreciated they really are.

That Quaker thing looks great and I know where the meeting place is from when I lived in town. The only thing with the daytime meetings is that Ive got the children and whilst I see that they can make arrangements if you are going to bring children to a meeting I dont like to impose on people or be difficult

Im hoping to join a running group asap, I dont think I can do much by myself at the moment.

It can be very hard when I dont have people around when I need someone, I generally dont mind my own company but sometimes I think it'd be cool to have a few friends near me but like a lot of things I guess its an ongoing process. I wonder sometimes if I come across an unapproachable, or Im a bore

I hope youre all doing well, if I have a particularly crap day I vow to try better the next. Id like to try a retreat when Ive done my exam I think, at the moment I cant concentrate on a lot due to the stress and I know it makes other 'probs' seem somewhat worse!

Everyday I'll keep trying xx

Of course I meant 'as unapproachable' and not 'an unapproachable' lol

''Dont go near her, shes one of the unapproachables'' Sounds like something off a film

Hi All,
Good to hear that all are well - I'm in the middle of cooking supper (aka cremating something in the oven!)...
for those of a Buddhist Quaker persuasion (hi Katie) I found this link to a retreat house in Oxfordshire:
Look at 2010 January retreat
www.charneymanor.demon.co.uk/programme.htm

Vezzie - If I wander across some useful online readings I'll let you know. Google MommaZen and look at her blog..it's fun

Dillinger - is there a local mumsnet group you could link into so you can meet some like minded people ? What is your exam in/ for?

Metta to all
PFS

Thanks for that, Pinkfluffyslippers - I am on there now.

Hi Vezzie
I haven't found any good online readings for you:
There is "buddhanet" - try their library section - personally I find it all rather sobre. (No knicker sharing there!)
Last night I looked at London Buddhist Centre website and downloaded one of their talks. It was a really interesting talk on ethics .... so I sat in the bath with a face pack on listening to this ---- feeling v chilled out. YOu can always listen to these talks when bfeeding. ANd I'm sure you won't get into a flap whilst DP is away.

Have a good day all....

PFS xx

There are some mumsnet ppl near this area that meet up but Im too shy to go

Im studying to be a reflexologist, I have my exam in nov and its all the anatomy and physiology thats freaking me out lol Im plodding through!

Have a good day everyone xx

that sounds great dillinger. what about your fellow students - or is an entirely online/distance learning set-up?
fluffy - i had heard of charney manor (features on some posters at the quaker meeting house) but not ever checked their website before. that january retreat looks really good. maybe one for the diary! if i can persuade DH to let me have another weekend pass
good tip re the london buddhist centre talks. i once went onto buddhanet and scurried off again pretty quickly - i found it all a bit sombre and heavy too

oh god must start work. SO not in the mood. worn down by stroppy DD this morning and the anxiety over the long years of moody teenagehood ahead

Thanks for the tip about the London Buddhist Centre.

I have been feeling so much better suddenly. Since I started sitting every morning I actually have more physical strength (I have felt very feeble since dd was born but if I am honest I have often felt overtired for a long time before that). More importantly, I feel empowered to deal with my longstanding "finding a faith home" problem. I have wittered about this at indecent length on the "RC attending C of E services" thread this morning.
I realise that one of the most important things I can do is draw a clear distinction between when I am getting important warning signals from my conscience; and when I am hearing negative interior censorious voices from the programming but I do not honestly believe in their source or their truth, but give them headspace anyway because it is "safer" to believe all disapproval. Actually then your head is just a clamour of bad feelings and half of them are not truthful. I feel inspired in this by some Quaker readings about saying No as well as saying Yes. Invitations to feel bad about yourself should be carefully analysed, and sometimes refused.

I suppose even at my great age I am only learning to be an adult, and it is time I accepted that I have not only the right but the responsibility to know my own path, rather than feeling paralysed by the shocked faces of the priests and teachers who could not believe you could question the church of Aquinas and Augustine, etc etc

that's a really inspiring post, vezzie. thanks a lot. X

Its an accredited course by the Association of Reflexologists, so I attend a centre one weekend a month and am taught by qualified reflexologists then the brunt of the work is done at home, if that makes sense. There are a few of us on the course but we all have a fair bit of distance between us unfortunately.

Been looking at exercise classes near me, my god like I could afford £6 three times a week! Shame, feels like things are against me at the mo, I went on the cross trainer this morning (was going to go for a walk but felt too anxious), only managed 14 mins then I put my back out! so its twingy and sore. I did read somewhere that cross trainers are great and pulling you into unnatural positions so injury can be common. Shouldve just walked lol

Anyway Im filling up this beautiful thread with crap arent I. I suppose its about my faith in myself which is quite relevant. I always thought Id be confident and grown up byt the time I got to this age, its been a shock to say the least!

I also appreciate your post vezzie. I obv learnt years ago to tell myself Im no good, cant do anything etc so Im programmed to feel that way now. Its how Ive always been. My rational mind always tells me 'of course you can, theres no reason why you cant' kind of thing, but I always have doubts telling me not to bother cos I'll fail anyway, or people wont like me,or I'll be laughed at, or no good, or look stupid.... My list is very long and neverending.

Dillinger - I'm at work so shouldn't even be reading MN but I can't let this line of yours pass
"My list is very long and neverending"
Rip up the blasted list and just sit on your cushion and have a meditate ! the good things will come to you - bugger the negative thoughts.
(i had the same useless list of negative thoughtsand the meditating has really helped me get rid of it)

Sorry for sounding so bossy!
More later

Metta to all!!

XX

PFS

Thankyou x

Dilllinger - sorry to hear you have so many worries. And sorry to hear about your back. Sending you good thoughts.

When you say you were too anxious to go for a walk, do you mean too anxious to leave the house? What is it that worries you about going out?

Don't want to ask you to dwell on it if it is painful, but maybe taking some of these thoughts apart might help... I have been through phases where I find it hard to go out because I think I can't cope with being seen, or I imagine I look stupid or something. Is it like that? Or safety? Or something else?

Sorry to pry, but walking can be so rewarding and centering and if we can help you to get over these things it might help you.

Vezzie thats very kind of you. Yes all of your examples are ones that stop me going out. I'll have an aim - for example I want to go to a running group tomorrow evening up at the uni. I havent been before and my thoughts are to do with the impression I give if I manage to walk in to the room where everyone meets. What if I arrive in my running gear and no one else does (rationally I know no one would bat an eyelid) what if I blush? Or have a panic attack? Also with it being a thurs it clashes with the Buddhist thing Im trying to attend, and I have the same thoughts for that but also regarding my safety getting home afterwards. I dont even pop to the shop, its literally 2 mins walk but I dont like to be seen. How odd does that sound!

I think Ive found since having the children I find it hard to walk anywhere without them (if I manage to go out) - I dont have them or pushing the buggy to occupy me and take my focus off myself, if that makes sense?

Ive learnt of a different toddler group near me on fri 1 - 3 that Id like to take the kids to. It clashes with my daughters nap so if shes grumpy I wouldnt go anyway, however again Id be more concerned with what ppl think of me etc but then also what if the kids played up etc Also its a fair walk and I get so hot when Im anxious, I wouldnt be comfortable if I looked sweaty omg cant believe I said that on here lol

Ive visited the Gp's surgery near me and I didnt get any help from them, Ive registered back at my old gp's as she was lovely but its right in the centre of town and again - I dont feel the need to see her outweighs how Id feel getting there, so I havent been. I couldnt just pop into town either as Ive no-one to have the children.

Thanks for the healing back thoughts it was a joke trying to sleep last night, I keep forgetting to move carefully and then the pain 'stabs' and makes me jump lol

I hope everyone is feeling well and positive today, I appreciate all of your help, advice and encouragement though I do feel bad for clogging the thread up xxx

"Invitations to feel bad about yourself should be carefully analysed, and sometimes refused."

Ooh, I like that, Vezzie. So true, and it's not at all rational that most of us find it so much easier to give credence to negative thoughts, is it? Actually, I think sometimes above should be usually for most people. Are the Quaker readings you referred to online?

I have finished work Am trying to work out how much routine I need to keep things ticking over and myself sane in these last few weeks before the baby arrives and it all goes out the window! Am enjoying antenatal yoga (with a DVD) a lot. Am also starting to have a lot of anxiety about the birth, I feel like I'm constantly reliving my last birth (traumatic but with positives, too). I want to focus on the coming birth as a completely new event, but I feel like I need to do something to acknowledge what happened last time. Any ideas gratefully received!

Justa - I found out I was pregnant with dc1 at an Ignatian retreat. I was mostly taking the test because the idea of peeing on the stick in their territory made me giggle - was like when it was actually positive. Didn't get much meditation done that weekend

katie - I sort of think teenagers should all get packed off somewhere away from their parents for about 5 years. They're so much more civil to everyone and anyone else, aren't they? Can't offer any practical help, unless you're interested in swapping said teenager for a newborn?

dilly - sorry you're having such a hard time x

at lowering the tone justa. mango - lovely to read you and good luck with the imminent transition from one to two!! (my DD isn't a teen btw - just acts like one much of the time!! she is 8 and f e i s t y )

hello everyone

what a lot of thought provoking messages, especially vezzie's. Brilliant.

Dillinger, we are all behind you. Imagine us there, pushing you forward as you try to take on these thins. I used to suffer quite badly from similar sort of anxiety, always to do with situations where I wouldn't know anyone. I would generally make excuses for myself not to go, or if I had to (work etc) go, feel so sick I couldn't speak to anyone, spend all my time worrying about blushing so I wouldn't speak to anyone, and then slope off home asap. I remember being like this as a child too. I think that's hy I took to booze so much in my late teens/twenties...it got me over that horrendous anxiety. Anyway, fast forward...have given up booze pretty much and will now happily go into pretty much any situation and be at ease (within reason...I would still tend to avoid ones where I know I won't have anything in common with folk etc...and I actually think that is FINE...SENSIBLE...NOT TO BEAT MYSELF UP OVER!) WHat has helped me? I guess just growing older, having kids and so having them to focus on when I go out, that definately helped at first, and now I find I am happy going out without them too, but most of all I would say, and I don't know whether this is something you'd consider at all, medication. I take citalopram for depression, and of course one of it's main uses is as an anti-anxiety drug. The differenec it's made is incredble. I don't worry about blushing anymore because I rarely do anymore, and of course not worrying about it all the time makes it far less likely to happen too. Anyway. Just in case you'd think that worth discussing with GP. Disabling anxiety is a terrible thing. I wish you teh best of luck dealing with it, and am sure you will.

MAngo - great to hear from you. Enjoy your time now before #2 comes. getting very close now...

Loved the stories of pregnancy testing. I did mine for DD2 in the loo of a pub on a campsite on the west coast of ireland while DH waited in a tiny caravan to hear the news I think of it everytime I sit in that particular cubicle

Things have been manic here with me. Emotional turmoil as DH and I try to work out whether out future lies together or apart. There are various issues that have been going on for years and that I finally think can't continue. Am reading Pema Chodron's "when things fall apart" and getting great comfort and strength from that. Although I still have my (MAJOR) wobbley moments.

Still managing to sit a bit, though the mind races. Last night downloaded some hatha yoga guidance and did a nice half hour of that before sitting, that worked really well. Am off to FWBO meeting tonight, am looking forward to that. And think am going to go to my first puja on Sunday night, a full moon one at LBC.

Metta to you all

XX