Does anyone have a daily meditation practice? Would anyone like one but needs motivation?

[mangolassi]

Ooh, I feel all shy

I am agnostic and generally confused about spiritual things, but after recovering from a bout of pnd found a great book - The Mindful Way Through Depression. It has a programme of daily meditation, and I've tried in the past, but it's soooo hard to stick to with no support.

The meditation style in the book is 'western insight' - basically vipassana with the Buddhism taken out - but it would be great to have a thread for anyone trying to get started with daily practice, whatever kind of meditation appeals. Even better if there's anyone who actually has a daily practice already

Om mani padme hum!
Namaste Pilgrims

Well I was there, and am mostly back now, and it is good to see you all here, and welcome to our newer travelers.

So that was summer eh?

I am SO enjoying this autumnal feeling, (where expectations are met regarding the weather), and it's time for nourishing soups and stews - without the guilt of uneaten salads...

Katie123 I received my 'true name' from my Guru and it was indeed an amazing experience which just reverberated through me and through time. I just felt the Rigpa! Fantastic.

I've found even a few breaths of meditation in the morning is a tonic, and well worth being mindful about as it sets me up, and kind of inoculates me against the 'sufferings' IYKWIM.

Our DD starts in a Faith (Roman Catholic) school next week it's the nearest, and the nuns seem kind. Still don't know how I feel about it: we'll see how it goes.

Namaste all

hello and hugs to gaiamum and zazen as well as everyone else - so nice to read you. zazen i am really looking fwd to autumn 'when expectations are met' as far as the weather is concerned, yes indeed...good luck with DD i can imagine you might have conflicting feelings about her new school, but i am sure the positives will outweight any negatives! (my DD attended a C of E school for a year recently. upon leaving her she robustly declared herself an atheist (age 7) and expressed huge relief at not having to do all that insufferable praying stuff any longer ) hopefully your DD is a little less of a firecracker than mine, though
gaiamum - really interesting to read your story, thanks so much for joining us, and i do wish you well on the health front...what a fab recommendation re the downloads, i looked into those and was very happy to part with a measly fiver for the natural meditation sounds, i was entranced by the heavy rain/monsoon one immediately. i think they are going to really help me - i've been in a bit of a rut on the meditation front recently and am keen to try a new approach!
i've downloaded them onto my husband's ipod heh heh...along with alex valentine my new discovery ...neither much to DH's taste but hey, that's marriage for you
back soon xxx

hello everyone and welcome to the newcomers, lovely to have you on board (this astral boat )

have had a nice summer - more tranquil than I could have believed possible with two kids and lots of work but i think it's the practice that has helped so much. In the face of the unexpected I have (sometimes! more often than before though) been able to accept and to react with equanimity. Something that was about so far from my ken as to be totally alien to me a year ago.

Thanks to everyone on this thread, as it has really helped me keep going with the practice.

Back to the Community of Interbeing sangha last night (they don't meet for 6 weeks over the summer) lovely to sit with people again. FWBO on Thursday night. Lookin forward to that too.

and then of course the retreat at Taraloka with lovely Katie...mmmmmmm, or should that be aummmmmmmmmmmmm

metta to you all

Hello everyone,

Please may I join? I am an absolute beginner. I have a book called Full Catastrophe Living which is about using mindfulness techniques to counter depression; but I haven't been able to move from reading the book into developing a practice, so far. I am a lapsed Catholic with a serious sense of loss and grieving for unrealised spirituality, but philosophically and ethically I am not able to join a Christian church. So I am... lost, and looking, and hoping.
This evening I am going to an introductory meditation class at a local yoga centre, which is for people who are considering signing up for a 6 week course at the end of September. I am pretty much starting from scratch.

I have enjoyed reading about all of you and your practices and it has inspired me.

Hello and Welcome Vezzie and all the other newcomers -it's great to have you join our merry little band.
Vezzie- I understand what you've written about the feeling of loss regarding unrealised spirituality but I hope you'll find some peace and inner calm in this community.

I hope the meeting went well tonight. Looking forward to hearing about it. ( I still havent plucked up the courage to go to a meditationmeeting so am in awe of anyone who goes along to one)

PB- great to hear you're well and that you had a good summer.

Am v envious of you (in a buddhist way of course!) and Katie going to Taraloka - shall be there in spirit.

Katie - if you CAT me (and I have no idea how one does that) I could send you my Tricycle copies when I finish with them. I've had two issues so far....and they make ideal reading for the bath.

BTW can anyone recommend any readings on the ego - I realise from what I've read that some of my "problems" have come from my ego.

Must away I have to look for Gilbert the hamster to find.........I think he's Houdini reincarnated!!

Love and hugs to you all PFS

fluffy!
that is very darling of you re the tricycle suggestion - thanks pal. obviously, i also have no clue how to CAT or be CATted. but in any case i have subscribed to the paper version now, so your generosity is not necessary (though welcome all the same )
re the ego - oh yes indeedy a favourite subject/concern of mine too...i really recommend 'a new earth' by eckhart tolle. please don't shudder - i know it sounds, well, is(!) new agey in the extreme (DH-related flak guaranteed but hey, we're getting more immune to that these days, surely!) but it's very useful, i found. indeed after reading it i felt a true glimmer of understanding of what it's all about - well, a realisation of what the common root of all religions is, at least, which he talks about in very clear terms. his main theme is the ego and its destructive power over us, and how to step back from it and observe it from our deeper, true self, and thus rob it of its power. (ha!! like i've managed to do that...) but it's definitely worth a read. he also wrote 'the power of now' but i think 'a new earth' is better - you could read both though, 'the power of now' was his first massive bestseller.
we lost one of our guinea pigs 4 days ago in the garden (possibly related to it being wheeled around in a child's wheelbarrow at the time while the kids were being 'supervised' by a 19 yr old - badly - and i was at work). it now seems to live in a woodpile and is developing a new lease of life. maybe it was time to break free and learn about wild grasses, and ivy, and, er, foxes
good luck with gilbert!!
vezzie - great to have you here - welcome
must dash xxx

Hello pinkfluffyslippers

Well... I was feeling very positive about everything till I got home. DP was looking after our baby, who was fast asleep when I left, and she screamed nearly the entire time I was out - an hour and a half. I feel terrible for both of them and not sure if I can sign up for something that means going out in the evenings.

I used to blame my job for not doing all sorts of things but now I am on maternity leave it seems there are still always a million reasons why I don't do what I want to do (I don't mean the baby, I mean things I can take her along to or do "around" her). There are so many crappy little appointments that eat into the day and then you have never done the things you always thought you would do. I was hoping to get some energy and focus from learning to meditate but I feel more despairing than before. I can't make them both this miserable.

I think I am just not very strong. I always feel so tired and sloppy.

Hi Vezzie,

This is written in haste as I have to get DD up - and I'll write something more later.

But,... I just wanted to say, don't despair, don't beat yourself up over all these things, it just ain't worth it, it doesn't make yourself feel any better only worse. (I've only learned this from reading about buddhism in the past few months; as I'm the first to be v self deprecating / critical). Perhaps your baby was just feeling out of sorts and it had nothing to do with you going out......

If you get a chance find a copy of Buddhism for Mothers (was available in my library) Momma Zen (useful on parenting issues more than being an intro to buddhism) and why not subscribe to Tricycle daily thoughts online. I always find the latter v useful. (tricycle.com)

Momma Zen also has a website and blog which I like.
Also remember anytime you want to chat there's always someone around floating in.../ out of this thread.

Ok better away..... have a good day in spite of the crappy weather

Love PFS

PS: In case anyone is interested Gilbert the hamster was found.

Ah pinkfluffyslippers, thank you for your support, especially as you were in a hurry. Much appreciated!

I was over reacting. I know. This is a habit, and one of the things I want to change, which I hope a meditation practice can help with. When you have a baby it is more apparent than ever that you just can't control everything, you can't let your expectations run the show about how you feel about what actually happens. (this was a terrible modus operandi even without a baby, but with one... forget it.) I am struggling to live that realisation, and have a long way to go.

Glad to hear about Gilbert!

Hi everyone,
firstly-thanks KatieK123 for your warm welcome. So glad you found the BrainZapr natural healing meditation helpful and thanks so much for your positive comments about it, my husband and I are chuffed at your feedback-if you do have time, would you mind putting some feedback on the website for us? that would be really helpful, thank you.

Thank you all also for giving so many useful tips in this thread. I hadn't heard of Buddhism for Mothers before, and have now bought it and I'm finding it really quite inspiring. The only down side is that I don't want it to make me feel like a bit of a failure and inferior etc if I can't be 'calm mummy' all the time-any tips on this one would be gratefully appreciated! I'm only about a third of the way through, and maybe the author does give some tips on this later on in the book. Anyway, I'm really getting something from it all the same. Vezzie-I would recommend this as a useful and quite inspiring read. I would say, try and stick with the meditation-its great that you are signing up for a meditation course. I too am a beginner, and came to meditation only recently as a way to manage depression and chronic fatigue. I found meditation so difficult to begin with, and I found that it actually made me feel a little worse as it was so tricky for me to shut everything out and I actually found I was focussing on my 'issues' more! However, after the first few weeks I was really able to find some peace and calm, and its such an intergral part of my day, and of getting better, now. Good luck on your journey, its a difficult one, but you will be so much stronger for it. Every tiny little step you take (however small) is a positive one, and one to be proud of! Well done, for doing waht you've done already.

Love and light to everyone

Hi all,

I feel that i should say welcome to newbies and also that it's a bit odd to do so, given that I haven't been on the thread for ages... so welcome, kind of

I'm really impressed by katie's meditation routine - 2x a day? really?

I'm on mini-meditation bootcamp, never mind that it's not about striving for anything, I need to feel that I'm doing something to prepare for the baby and stave off pnd (32wks pg). Some people clean the house manically, I shall meditate. This week has been relatively easy practically as dp has left the house with dd before I need to go to work, so I've managed (a paltry) 10 minutes each morning. It's not necessarily a very comfortable time, it's making me more aware of my own emotions - including how angry and hacked off I am with work. But anyway, I hope to start posting again more regularly, so I can bore you all with the details later

Vezzie - it sounds like you're still in that transition-to-parenthood stage, it's really hard at times, isn't it? How old is dd?

Fwiw, I think it's okay to leave her with dp for a while, they need to bond and learn to deal with one another without you. Try not to worry too much.
And if you think joining a group is going to be too much for a while yet, then maybe try some guided meditation CDs? Jon Kabat Zinn, who wrote Full Catastrophe Living, also co-wrote the Mindful Way Through Depression book, and recorded a CD to go with it. I found that really helpful at first, for knowing what to do (or rather, what to not do and how to not do it) when I sat down to meditate. I'm sure he has other CDs, too - Amazon?
Are you breastfeeding? If you are, and you're past the stressful milk-spurting -everywhere-have-to-concentrate stage, that can be a lovely time to meditate.

Hope you're all well xxxx

Hello mangostickyrice and gaiamum,

Thank you for your encouragement! The course starts at the end of September and I am beginning to think I should just go for it. My daughter will be 5 months by then. Good tip about the books and the CD - I think I do need something like that, like having a teacher in my house to guide me through it.

Yes, I am dealing with the transition, it is getting easier all the time. I wake up often thinking "oh my goodness I am SOMEBODY'S MOTHER", and that seems huge and awesome. Also the practical things are fiddly to come to terms with in a different way - just bitty and numerous and tiring.

There are many things about my personality which make me not suited for motherhood and I delayed having children for a long time (semi consciously) for these reasons. Now that I am a mother I see this as an opportunity to develop parts of me that I never had to before: a greater appreciation of community, of how we are all bound together (you need other people much more when you have a baby), patience, appreciation of real physical life as opposed to the theoretical and the bookish, becoming a morning person, drinking less, being aware of myself as an example and thinking about what I project every day and looking after little details of my behaviour as a way to model goodness ... this sounds very pious, sorry, it is not as if I even really know what I am doing.

Hi Justa
Lovely to hear your voice again (iykwim). I was getting worried that you hadn't been around and was going to send out a MN search party.
Sorry to hear about the difficulties / worries you're having with your son. Pleased to hear that the meditation is helping you through these times. I find the whole idea of being in the present v helpful because I get hung up about the past / what could have beens... and then stressed about the future / what might be.
Anyway nice to hear from you - must away and find the hamster who's on his nightly exercise run around.

Take care all
PFS

PS: Here's a lovely quote for anyone having problems meditating and those annoying random thoughts which always pop up just when you're trying to settle.... It's from Rabbi Lionel Blue on Thought for the Day last week:

Friendship with God requires the same investment of time and attention as a human friendship. It takes ten minutes for the fluff in my mind to settle before something moves in the silence.

lovely to read you all, girls, and justa, great to have you back. thinking of you and your little one - keep us posted. i love that rabbi lionel blue quote fluffy. i managed to get to the first quaker meeting in fully two months on sunday - it felt so good to reconnect with my friends, or should that be 'Friends', there.

sometimes when i can't get my mind to settle (which is often, obv!) i use the little mantra of thich nhat hanh's which i think we've had posted on here before:

with this breath in i calm myself
with this breath out i smile
with this breath in i know i am in the present moment
with this breath out i know it's a wonderful moment
(or words to that effect)

and sometimes when i feel the need to be more acknowledging of a higher presence, i like to remember the description i've seen -in more than one source - of meditation as 'resting in god' and substitute that for the last line instead. calms and soothes my feverish auto-rants - some of the time at least!!

with which i must now go and type up the minutes of the PTA meeting

WHY didn't i manage to divest myself of the bloody secretary role? WHY WHY WHY??? (ah - i've switched back into auto-rant mode again, i see)

ps vezzie 'there are many things in my personality that make me not suited for motherhood'
oh how i hear you sister

hi justabout - lovely to hear from you. yes, that old uncertainty thing. It's what really drew me to buddhism as I just couldn't deal with it in RL and needed some way to think differently about the future. I still can't quite deal with it all but at least I (sometimes ) accept that that's ok.

Vezzie - welcome. Your post about not being cut out to be a mother rang so many bells with me too. To this day I find elements of it such a trial. But it has also opened up so many new sides to me that I never suspected were there. The need for community is a big one for me, I always saw myself as a sort of island before. Which probably fed into my underlying disquiet I know see. Anyway, wise words.

Mango, not sure if I have posted since you've been back. If not HELLO!!! think of you often and wonder how the pregnancy is going. Come back and keep us posted.

For me my practice took a bit of a dent in the last week or so. I didn't make time to sit, read fiction instead of buddhist tomes, didn't get to my regular group meetings and generally let it all go to pot. We were all at sixes and sevens with Dh being off to Ireland for a few days for his dad's 70th, DD1 having a very hard time settling back to school ("HATES"it) and then me and teh two DDs coming down with rotten colds over the weekend. I ate lots of bread and apple crumble which while momentarily just what I needed was actually a recipe for disaster as I (PB finally admits to herself, much to her deep chagrin) don't tolerate wheat very well. So I was feeling like a bloated, manic, snotty, wreck. Mmm, nice! Did manage to sit last night, although my mind was evereywhere and it was tantamount to a joke, I still sat there for 40 mins. Today I got up with great intentions to eat in a way that suits me better, no bread, wheat things, or coffee. Lots of green and herbal teas/water and fruit/salad. Going well so far and I hope I can keep it up. I feel so much better when I do. I found meditating on my food choices last night was helpful, and remembering the one of Thich Nhat's mindfulness "lessons" or whatever he calls them about being mindful of our bodies and what we put into them really helped me. Had never thought of meditating on something so practical before. Going on retreat with Katie this weekend will be most welcome, it's very good timing for me as my practice quivers a little (maybe it's the change of season)

metta to you all

XX

hello girls
ah peanut - i do hope you're feeling better. i like the idea of meditating on a specific matter of concern a lot. i hardly ever do that, i must say.
my practice has taken a dip recently too - my supposed twice daily sitting has resembled a piecemeal, erratic affair, often amounting to a quick 3 minutes sitting cross-legged on my bed before going to sleep or having just woken up! while fending off small children, in the case of the morning sit. hardly ideal! so i need to sort that one out. i've been ill like pb (but with less mucus involved - you win that particular medal,o snot-choked leguminous one) and that hasn't helped but i am better now so...no excuses! for a while i was resigned to having Something Terrible and no doubt Fatal (occupational hazard )but, er, it all resolved. hoping the retreat will help to refocus me on mindfulness and what really matters!
what i am loving, as school resumes, is the whole social whirl of seeing the other mums, of belonging to a proper community, centred around the kids' lovely little rural school. i feel very blessed on that front. i agree with peanut - despite feeling SO inadequate and challenged - daily! - by mothering, feeling part of a wider community is a wonderful by-product.
big hugs
xxx

Wonderful to hear from you all again. It's as if we've all met up again at the school gates after the longgggggg summer break.

Vezzie - sweetheart two things:

1. Personally I think the first year of motherhood is the most difficult as you have to readjust to this alien who's just arrived in your life.

2.None of us think we're good mothers but as I tell DD (age 5) I'm the only mother she's got and if she doesn't like it she can go and get another one from the Mummy Shop. At this ridiculous suggestion she roars with laughter and we hug and kiss and we couldn't be happier. I do the best I can in this job and I love it even if it's hard but it's hugely rewarding. I always say that before DD life was monochrome and since she was born it's become technicolour. Also reading buddhist books has taught me that by focusing on the moment not what could have been means I appreciate the moment more. . (Momma Zen is pretty good on this - particularly in relation to babies / toddlers).

Katie and PB have a glorious time with your weekend at Taraloka. Looking forward to hearing all about it. Don't forget to pack your Kleenex..assuming you're still suffering with stinky colds. (DH has it)

Hope all this make some sense as have just returned from a boozy supper with my senior (and v outrageous) neighbours!
Metta to you all
XXXXX PFS

Hello everybody. May I join you? Im currently searching for something, as though I always have been but its never been needed as much as I feel it is now. I feel this is my time and this is the way. Can you tell I ramble on a bit?

I aim to read this thread tomorrow, this time of day gets so busy with a family doesnt it.

Hope you all have a peaceful and refreshing evening x

Hi Dillinger,
Welcome, welcome, I hope you enjoy reading this thread.

No you don't ramble anything like I do - as you'll notice when you've read the thread.

Metta to all

PFS

Thankyou PFS. I didnt get to read the thread yesterday as I wished - I was doing a 1st aid course. Very enjoyable and good to know that I have some skills that I could use if needed. So Im currently advising friends etc to look into doing the same

I shall hopefully get this read sometime today, as tomorrow I really need to crack on with revision. xx

One thing I struggle with is being mindful and positive, optimistic whilst it feels like I am stuck where I am (physically I mean) and not knowing if I'll get to be where I want?

Im homesick and I want to go back to my hometown. Im miles away from family, we live in council housing as have no chance of a mortgage here and even less chance of one where I am from. It makes me deeply unhappy, as though Im wasting my life. Ive been here 7 years and have a lovely family, I know I should be grateful to have a roof and warmth, food etc and I am but it feels as though I cant settle until I know I am where I am meant to be. Does any of that make sense?

I am studying to try and better myself and give my family more chances, Id like to study for a little longer but now and again I get a feeling that my time is running out and I almost want to just pack up and leave, throwing myself on my family or something. I know that isnt beneficial but I dont know how to explain it, its like I get flighty.

The 'doom' feeling leads on to worries about my parents and grandad. My dad is getting on, my grandad isnt in great health at the moment and I worry that either/or will pass away before I get to move home. I realise that must sound irrational.

Its these feelings that stop me from just enjoying my life. Im quite agoraphobic at the moment which presents its own difficulties, and I tend to be in a more 'whats the point' mindset, even though I dont want to be. Ive placed all my chances of happiness on moving back home and I cant be happy until then. So in the meantime myself and my children miss out dont they. Any thoughts would be appreciated.

Ive been in touch with someone from a local buddhist group near me, he got back to me very soon and was so welcoming. Im encouraged to go but going to new places is pretty scary, and I have my own demons regarding driving (long story) - its 7.45-9.30pm and I worry about getting the bus home at night, but dont trust myself to be able to drive and park somewhere, so even though I want to go I probably wont!

Im so irrational its unreal