Does anyone have a daily meditation practice? Would anyone like one but needs motivation?

[mangolassi]

Ooh, I feel all shy

I am agnostic and generally confused about spiritual things, but after recovering from a bout of pnd found a great book - The Mindful Way Through Depression. It has a programme of daily meditation, and I've tried in the past, but it's soooo hard to stick to with no support.

The meditation style in the book is 'western insight' - basically vipassana with the Buddhism taken out - but it would be great to have a thread for anyone trying to get started with daily practice, whatever kind of meditation appeals. Even better if there's anyone who actually has a daily practice already

ah dillinger - it's so nice to have you join us and i feel for you in your struggle to accept where you are NOW, when your heart is being tugged somewhere else on a constant basis. i would really encourage you to go to the local group you've made contact with (bravely - that's not always an easy first step and you've got that far already!) - how about asking a friend to go with you? not necessarily someone who is that into the idea of buddhism - the group would understand you taking along somebody for support...anyway, do join us for some cyber-chat and through-the-ether positive vibes! when i was in australia/NZ recently i was plagued by longing to be closer to the people i love, and i knew i could never settle there. it was a constant ache and it made mindfulness exceedingly difficult. i guess buddhism would urge us all to remember that we can't predict the future and that all we have is this moment, here, NOW! but i know how it is to feel deeply that the place you are in right now is the...wrong one. i hope the feeling eases gradually as you come to be happier within your own skin, perhaps, if a move isn't possible for a while.

peanut and i just returned from our weekend in taraloka - it was wonderful! we shared a room and carried on seamlessly from our cyber-friendship into our now-firm real-life one. she even almost lent me a pair of knickers - when it transpired i had packed 4 pairs of outdoorsy yomping-style shoes/wellies...but no pants i'll draw a veil over the rest of that story

anyway, knickers aside - the weekend was fantastic, and i couldn't recommend it more highly if any of you are ever in a position to get away for 48 hours (a big ask, i know). there were 20 women there in all, ranging from 17 (the most mature, spiritually sorted and generally wise and grounded school girl we'd ever met!) to 60-ish. all with stories to tell. suffering etched on some faces, peace and serenity on others. we meditated together, shared experiences in small groups, learned some basic buddhist principles with the utterly inspiring women who were leading the retreat, walked by a beautiful canal and bathed in the beauty of nature - taraloka is in a lovely corner of shropshire.

if peanut wasn't such a goddamned SNORER my happiness would have been complete that was her only downside, i have to report. apart from being annoyingly beautiful in a funky-arty kinda way, and having perfect skin

No
hugs to all

xxx

ps did you like the very buddhist way i ended that message (inexplicably! i think i was about to embark on another wordy para then thought better of it)

no hugs AT ALL to anyone
none
not a single one
xxxxx

Dillinger I get anxious about driving somewhere I don't know . I have found it helpful to do a dry run first and suss out places to park I don't know if that would help you or if it is possible . Going to new places is scarey but it will only be new the the first time .

Hi Dillinger - good that you got time to read the thread.
First I should start with a disclaimer: I'm an absolute beginner on buddhism, meditate infrequently and haven't been to any buddhist meetings, but I really find the Buddhist approach has helped me appreciate where I am now. It's taught me to live in the moment and love the moment. (In the past I've been a great one for saying "only when I've done XYZ I will be really happy ".- but as we know life doesn't work like that. SO it's easier to accept the moment than fight it - but as you've said in your post you're also doing things now to improve your situation in the future - which is great.)

Second...There are a lot of people on this thread who really know their onions when it comes to Buddhism so I'm sure they'll give you a decent reply to your post.

However, I would say don't worry about not getting to a Buddhist meeting - you will when the time is right. Be kind to yourself and enjoy the moment.

There are plenty of good websites / books / cds that you may find useful.
I like MommaZen blogspot: www.mommazen.blogspot.com
or there's buddhanet
or the London Buddhist Centre has heaps of talks available online..

The book I"ve enjoyed the most is "Buddhism for Mothers - a Calm Approach" by Sarah Napthali - I found this funny and a good introduction. Her other book really good - esp. the chapter on housework!!.

Dillinger I do hope you enjoy this thread and stay around to chat.

Peanut and Katie - hope you had a wonderful time at Taraloka. Looking forward to a full report.

Katie - I've just found out that Sarah Napthali has another book coming out in December "Buddhism for Mothers of School Age Children". www.orionbooks.co.uk/MP-47278/Buddhism-For-Mothers-Of-School-Children.htm
Horrah I have something to put in my Xmas stocking!

Love to all
PFS

Katie - thanks for no hugs at all.
So pleased you both had a great time at Taraloka - but what in heavens name possessed you to go to a Buddhist retreat with no knickers!!?????? Did you think you were going to get "lucky" ! I couldn't help but roar with laughter when I read your post..

Dillinger - I've just read Katie's advice to you and Colette's they are wise women indeed. If you can find a friend to go to a meeting with you that would be great.

Hugs to all - except knickerless Katie.

Must away and do packed lunches (groan)
X

Katie - thanks for no hugs at all.
So pleased you both had a great time at Taraloka - but what in heavens name possessed you to go to a Buddhist retreat with no knickers!!?????? Did you think you were going to get "lucky" ! I couldn't help but roar with laughter when I read your post..

Dillinger - I've just read Katie's advice to you and Colette's they are wise women indeed. If you can find a friend to go to a meeting with you that would be great.

Hugs to all - except knickerless Katie.

Must away and do packed lunches (groan)
X

at the thought of getting lucky on an all-women buddhist retreat fluffy
although DH did ask me whether there was any 'hot lesbo action'
...he is a really tasteful and politically correct kinda guy as you can see, a natural buddhist, in short
x x x

welcome Dillinger - your situation sounds very tough, but it is great that you are looking at ways to help yourself. Wrt the buddhist meeting I have two things to say 1) I get such a lot from attending my meetings I can't recommend trying it enough 2)the first time I went I was on here quivering and gibbering like a sad and sick puppy, I was so nervous I felt ill. However I had, like you, phoned in advance and so someone knew I was new and welcomed me by name and introduced me to the group and of course most buddhists are fairly warm and welcoming (some a little more reserved) so it was fine. As you are nervous perhaps you could call your contact and explain that, then they will make doubly sure to look after you and you'll know you have a friendly face there. I recently admitted to my sangha how nervous I had felt first time and they were all so lovely about it. I think they are trying to take even more care of me now, which is very sweet of them
good luck!

Katie - you made me laugh! and blush! yes, knickergate was a classic moment in online buddhist friendship hits reality but what was even better is it was all communicated by gesture and sign as we were in the middle of a 12 hour silent period. Actually, thinking about it again we were lucky there weren't any sitcom script geniuses in teh form of flies on the wall as I feel quite sure an entire series could be spawned from that one moment.

so yes, as Katie has reported, far more eloquently that I ever could (My god she is a great talker: clever, eloquent, hilariously funny!), we had a wonderful time. Deeply emotional at times (as was to be expected, although we managed not to spend the entire weekend in tears as K had predicted at one stage) and full of joy and good spirits at others. Katie is, as you all know from on here, a wonderful woman. Wise and generous and very beautiful, in fact I tried to convince her she should be on a Liz Earle advert, she has that sort of glowing beauty that radiates. Except when she is knackered from lack of sleep due to my snoring of course. Sorry love. (in my defense I never knew I snored - I quizzed DH on it when I get home and indeed he claims I don't, except when drunk, and no, I didn't have a secret stash of tinnies under my bed. Actually I reckon La Kate has supersensitive princess and pea style hearing)

She is a yomper though, through and through. The fastest woman I ever saw. And with a boot full of hearty walking style boots. Put me in my london white leather flip flops to shame!

metta to you all
XXX

Thanks for the lovely replies. I was a little worried I was a bit 'woah she's got ISSUES' type thang but felt I should give my story briefly and you'd all see where I am coming from.

I appreciate the advice, I tell myself I am more fortunate than others, and I know that my dad is proud of me to have felt the courage to move away, have a family and study.

The thing with the driving - I passed feb last year, and had my daughter a month later so I didnt get a lot of practise in once she arrived, then the longer I left it the harder it got until Id feel sick, shaky if I had to drive. We then thought itd be a good idea to get a new car cos the fiesta was getting cramped with the 4 of us... we've recently got a focus, some kind of turbo jobbie, its fast and feels 'flighty' to me whereas the fiesta felt more solid and I knew where I was with that I know Ive just gotta get used to it but its low on my priorities until I get my exam out of the way in nov. So I also havent parked in this car, (didnt park in the fiesta on street at all ) so whilst a dry run would be good I dont think its possible.

Despite living here for 7 years I dont have anyone that Ive 'clicked' with unfortunately. I dont usually mind that, just when I get mega lonely. Anyway so taking someone isnt an option and tbh despite being a nervy one when it comes to stuff like this I inevitably feel more rewarded when Ive managed to do something by myself. I'll keep trying to psyche myself up for this one

That weekend sounded great! Well done for going, I hope it was what you were looking for.

Ive got a small spare room that currently houses the buggies and various crap, Im thinking of tidying it up and having an altar in there, cushions etc you get me. Ive realised that I dont really get a chance to have time to myself, and if I did this I could physically take myself there. The question is though - what do I do with the junk stuff thats in there?! Hmm

, snigger and snort at Silent Knickergate, interesting ice-breaking techniques there Katie.

Dillinger, the chances of someone communicating "Can I borrow a pair of your knickers?" in charades-style during the meeting at your Buddhist group are really very, very small, so please don't let it worry you. I can't drive at all, so understand those fears - a dry run to check out tricky bits/ find parking sounds like a great idea.

I'm still managing my little 10 minutes a day, and having flashes of being aware that I'm happy in the actual moment when I'm happy,iykwim.

Oh! and my lift has arrived, so I'll post n run now and waffle more later.

Peace xxx

X-post dillinger. more later.

it's not often i snort out loud and at such length but several highlights of the flurry of recent posts caused just that to happen - including the image of peanut's stash of tinnies under her monk-esque single bed at the retreat, and mango's soothing there-there reassurance to dillinger about the prospect of a some sort of solemn, coded knicker-swap constituting a secret rite of passage at everyone's first buddhist meeting
back later xxxxx
(yes, kisses, but STILL NO HUGS)

lol knicker swapping sounds hilarious glad it was x-posted, you had me worried

I'll wear my best ones just in case

always wise to wear one's best undies to one's first buddhist meeting - skilful practice I think it's called - having a spare pair in your pocket even more skilful - just in case you don't want to take your own off in public...buddhist ethics 101: generosity and sharing - the way of the future

Ooh shall I pick up a 6 pack from m+s? That might be an idea, could hand out a few

LOVE it dillenger - you'll be the most popular newcomers EVER. You've got to go now, you do realise that don't you? and we will all want a FULL report of how the knickers go down...ahem (that was bad, wasn't it? cringe...)

Ba dum tish! lol

We all know I'll be sitting in the corner, trying to blend into the wall

The question is - what sort of knickers does one wear to their first Buddhist meeting...?
Big granny ones (comfort is important when sitting for long periods), g- strings, bikini style...?????.
The options are endless. Dillinger I suggest you go for a variety pack of undies - assuming M and S do them.

PFS

PS: Dillinger which Buddhist tradition have you made contact with ? Is it Friends of Western Buddhsit Order? Sadly we don't have one here in Oxford - heaps of other traditions but FWBO is the only one that appeals.

I believe so, theres a group here in Bath. Im yet to learn of all of the differences there are between all of the kinds of traditions there are. So excuse me if I sound somewhat ignorant.

I think I should look for a 'Buddhist thread killers' thread

Hope youre all doing ok x

no don't go looking yet Dillinger...we can be a bit sporadic at times...there will be a big rush of chatter and then nowt for a while

and don't worry about not knowing the difference between the different traditions - I brought that very question up at the retreat last weekend and even the ordained FWBO members weren't able to put their fingers on it - what they did com eup with is that the FWBO is known for its friendliness and welcome (I would vouch for that) the friendships that grow there and how much that is a valued part of the order (seems to be true in my limited experience) and a sort of accompanying "lack of mindfulness" which made us all laugh...

have you found a group near you?

(am at work so won't be chatting much - trying to be more mindful today )

Yes theres one in the centre of Bath so not far, im trying to gain the confidence to go lol

hello girls
dillinger you have a long way to go before you are a proper thread killer - this thread has been known to die down for weeks at a time, though that isn't too common!
you can do it you can do it you can do it!!! you CAN get to that group and think how proud we will all be when you do

right. i must concentrate on mindfully making a (cheat's) fish pie. there is something about cooking tea that makes me RUN from the kitchen every afternoon at about this time...i need to focus on the positives of cooking...aesthetic experience...colours and textures...staying in the moment...blah blah...ARGH
xxx

HI Dillinger
No you haven't killed off the thread - you have to work harder than that you know!
You've inspired me to really get my act together and go to a meditation class. All being well I'm hoping to go to a nearby class tomorrow . It's only a half hour meditation so I hope that's do-able. I get put off by the idea of doing long meditations since I have a short attention span and would worry about nodding off. The class is being held in someone's attic and seems to be the zen tradition. It's a zendo class. Don't know what that is...shall report back. I haven't a clue about all the traditions it's nice to hear PB that even the experienced members of FWBO have problems with it.

Take care
PFS

PS Dillinger - how are you getting on with making your spare room into a "space' for you? I suppose you could give all the unused stuff away and that would be good for your karma!

I havent started yet, thought Id have a go at the weekend! Thing is I do want all the stuff thats in there, just need to arrange it better! Theres a bit of a cubby hole in the room too so I might try and force arrange it all in there somehow, then cover the doorway with a curtain or something to hide it.

Whether its a solution or not... I'll let you know lol