Is there a religion for me?

[Middlepain]

I used to go to lots of christian events around spiritual practice ( reflective prayer and various types of meditation, quiet days etc) and really loved them. I felt a connecting presence enter into my being.

After some years I started going to church but found teaching around being a sinner, trying to discern god's will and praying for things I wanted really hard. My life circumstances and background made being framed a sinner really psychologically unhealthy for me. And I need to feel I have agency to form my life, not waiting for God to help fix it. I can't pray for my problems when I know so many others suffer more. And I don't believe prayers are answered like that. I just don't.

So is there a religion, or form of Chrisitianity, where you don't believe in an interventionist God in this way? Where the focus is on connecting with God for spiritual and psychological nurturing? I would like a religious community to connect to as well though.

Anyone got any thoughts, or does anyone feel similar?

I did an online ' what religion is for you' test and it came back with Reform Judaism, which was interesting as I love the Old Testament!

Try the Quakers. Sounds like what you’re looking for. Lovely people too.

I'm a bit put off by pronouncements from Quakers HQ. Also, not sure a 'service' of sitting in silence will suit me.

Read anything by Richard Rohr. He's Catholic but not in the traditional sense.

Thanks, I'll look him up : )

Could you tell me which pronouncements from Quaker HQ have put you off please? As a Quaker, I find this worrying. Also, people do speak in Meeting when they feel called so it’s not always silent!

Middlepain I don’t know when the last time you attended a church but I have been going to an Anglican church from 2014-2016 then I went away and returned 2021-2025. I haven’t come across what you say about being told that you are a sinner with an emphasis. My rector at my church who is a female her big thing is about love and she has told me when I am troubled to focus on the love of God and Christ. The message in most church’s I wouldn’t say that you are a sinner as the emphasis. Perhaps consider attending one again and seeing for yourself. Things have may be changed in most church’s.

Do you accept the scripture the Bible and God is the Father and the New Testament that Jesus is the Son of God and savour and accepting him and his teachings and accept he is the path to eternal life. Do you believe in the Holy Spirit. If you do this is what you need to focus on. If not are you sure this faith is right for you. If you have not read the New Testament again and 10 commandments may be formalise yourself with it as you adopt the faith and go to any church if you don’t believe this you will not find it catered for.

You can though have a faith without attending church to. I would recommend church going if you can.You can watch online still now as well.A personal relationship with your faith and developing yourself spiritually is really important to a person I think if you are a Christian. You can do this as a Christian through the Holy Spirit.

I would suggest to perhaps redefining everything through love and the grace and mercy of God and start again.

I am a Christian and been such since a child and am 52 today. I have had my struggles but the grace of God and the Holy Spirit has been pivotal in my life and I am not perfect.

Don’t obess about things, just be the best person that you can be and we all can make mistakes and is the only perfect person is Christ alone.

As Christians we are told not to judge others but people do to others, that is their wrong doing and not yours, that cannot affect your personal relationship with your faith.

Search around if you are looking to find the right church, I would suggest Anglican which is short, plus the Quakers as it is the least formal I know and promotes peace.

I would suggest to reading this post on love and helping us to think differently about the faith. There is a Christian forum to.
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/christian-mumsnetters/5417108-thoughts-on-love

I just wanted to return to this post and draw more emphasis to this. We have had some difficult abuse cases in church history and so recently. I wanted to say about this, we can stand against this. I can say this though I like what Justin Welby said at that time that we need to keep on focus on Jesus Christ alone in our worship and worship no human being but them alone. He is the centre of the faith and the preacher or someone else you may have an issue with.

Hi Op. I think you need to go to a church with a more progressive theological emphasis.

Some C of E churches are more like this. Have a look on the websites of some near you. Any that describe themselves as Evangelical are more likely to emphasize the "you are a sinner" approach.
I think if you find a likely church you could email the vicar/rector and explain your issues. Ask them what their approach is and see what they say

There's a newish theological perspective that talks about the trauma informed church. Not many churches have picked up a lot on this but you may find that churches in the Inclusive Church network may be sensitive to your issues as they tend not just to be inclusive of LGBTQ+ but also more inclusive in other ways.

You might be interested in some of the work Karen O'Donnell is doing. She is a lecturer at a theological college and has done a lot of work on trauma and trauma informed churches.

You don’t have to ask God for anything, or worry about ‘sinning’ in order to pray.

CofE.