I feel like I can’t be a good catholic.

[SpeakingSpeakman]

I just feel like I can’t live up to the standard/expectation. I want to go to confession hoping to not sin again, rather than knowing I will sin again. It all feels fake since I know I will repeat mistakes. That in itself is a sin.

I do believe in God, but don’t feel as though the person I am fits the ideals of the catholic religion. I feel like a failure. I feel like I can’t change these things about myself. Can anyone relate?

I also struggle with scrupulous feelings. I did a huge examination of conscience 3 years ago and confessed everything I could think of, but I still question if I missed important things.

Any words of wisdom?

This is absolutely NOT the case. As a convert to Catholicism from atheism I did so because of the joy, love, peace and forgiveness I experience constantly. There are a lot of people ignorant of practicing Catholicism who are operating out of stereotypes on this thread. Christians share much more in common than our differences.

@SpeakingSpeakman I would suggest you contact a Catholic counselor, such as the following who are based in the USA but because they work on the phone can help people internationally. They are qualified professionals in psychology, therapy and with theological and pastoral experience. This way they can integrate and understand your perspective as a Catholic while looking at ways to help you therapeutically. They could get at the core of why you are condemning yourself so much and feeling so hopeless because this is definitely NOT a healthy Catholic spiritual perspective. I will pray for you that you experience God's joy and peace and find the answers you are seeking.
https://catholiccounselors.com/tele-counseling-services/

Something else that I have just remembered in relation to these issues, Op, is the parables of The Lost Sheep and The Lost Coins. Every time you slip up and miss Him, go in the wrong direction, our Lord the Shepherd comes to find us again. He doesn't give up on you!🙂

Apologies and all due respect i use the word mythical deities' as when studying greek mythology any being was considered mythical until proven scientifically eg people use to believe the earth was the centre of the universe until science proved it was the sun instead.

to prevent my error, How should one call any beings that only exists or appears to exist due to beliefs ?

ThursdayTomorrow · Yesterday 16:29
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You may not believe but the OP does. Calling God mythical is rude and insulting to those who have faith”

You are being equally rude, dismissing the views of atheists. I try to be a decent human being because that’s the standard I expect of myself and others. I don’t need to be “absolved” of my “sins” by anyone else or live in fear of going to a mythical hell.

I have said a prayer for you.

It might help to look at the scrupulous anonymous website run by the Redemptorist priests.

Remember that your guardian angel is praying for you and that God loves everything He has made, including you.

From a complete outsider - don’t all catholics feel not good enough. I thought this type of whiter-than-white standards were to serve exactly this purpose and keep the idea of a catholic faith right up there in the land of the unattainable.

You could also consider that it is all make believe and therefore it doesn’t matter and is maybe just a distraction from the real things in life. It might make you feel better to be a non believer! I can’t imagine living life with this added pressure aswell as just normal life stuff!!

You are being way too hard on yourself. All you can do is try your best. I agree with everything @DeanElderberry wrote. God loves you because you are worthy of love, no matter what!

babyproblems · Today 22:52
From a complete outsider - don’t all catholics feel not good enough. I thought this type of whiter-than-white standards”

Whiter than white standards? Catholic priests?

You're having a laugh, obviously.

Not particularly. That’s more of an outsider’s view IME. Or lapsed catholics that went to convent schools decades ago.

Think of it more as an acceptance that you, like everyone else is not perfect and that’s fine. Identify it, reflect on it, make amends for it and at least have the intention to try and make different choices next time even if you know you are going to slip up and end up making the same mistake again.

Yes this is an outsiders view. I understand how people can be totally misinformed about Catholic beliefs, spirituality and practice, because as an atheist I certainly was.

Yes. That's right. That's Christianity. Jesus is the ultimate Get out of Jail Free Card. If we are genuinely contrite our sins are forgiven. Jesus didn't come for the righteous and perfect. If you're not a sinner he can't help you. It doesn't mean we can proceed with impunity as Christians, the first step in conversion (a daily constant conversion of living in God's grace and love) is to repent, so we are not living in self delusion and pride and don't care how our behavior affects those around us and the resulting natural consequence of our lack of love. We are in a relationship with God. In a relationship you draw close to the one you love and are vulnerable with them.

"There is no sin that God’s mercy cannot reach and wipe away when it finds a repentant heart seeking to be reconciled with the Father.”
Pope Francis

Waterfallfern

Yes. That's right. That's Christianity. Jesus is the ultimate Get out of Jail Free Card. If we are genuinely contrite our sins are forgiven”

Week after week after week. My, how convenient. Get drunk, beat your wife/kids, molest children, repent, be forgiven/moved to another parish.

@MrsSkylerWhite forgiveness doesn't mean no steps need to be taken to protect people from violence and abuse. Innocent people absolutely need to be protected from the damaging effects of these crimes. Failing to protect is not even beneficial to the perpetrator as they need to be prevented and the dysfunctions within them tackled head on in the hope they can be rehabilitated.

Yes, churches have got the balance of doing this wrong, governments and people generally get this wrong. Either too harshly punitive or too lenient and failing to protect victims and the general public.

Confession is about hopefully facing up to wrongdoings in order to repent (change direction) and forgiveness is necessary in order to provide a safe space in order to do this.

My great-uncle was among those of the Munsters 2nd given absolution, survived the war and I can confirm spent many subsequent decades sinning away like mad — including bigamy and a lot of shagging about.

No, as you know so much about Catholicism you will know that is not what it means. You should have fully repented and be sincere and if you believe in God know that a false confession without true repentance is invalid.

Deliberately committing serious crime of violence and abuse deserves nothing but God's justice; presuming mercy without repentance is misunderstanding Jesus. As he says in Luke 17, it's better that a man have a millstone hung around his neck and be flung into the sea than abuse the innocent.

The Gospel is an entirety, in Catholicism the sins you mentioned are mortal, which means without repentance they can cut you off from God forever as John 13 warns. To be mortal 3 conditions must be met: the sin is a grave matter and was committed with full knowledge and deliberate consent.
True repentance means to change and desire God's grace, it means a conversion of heart. You are cut off from that grace without true repentance for mortal sin.

The part you are missing for mercy for such serious crimes and sins is the radical acknowledgment of your thoughts and actions, true repentance and change of life - without that you are not in relationship with God and are living in darkness.

Evidence that you can reject the mercy of God and the teaching of Christ. That absolution wasn't for the rest of his life. In Catholicism and Orthodoxy (and many other Christian traditions) accepting and cooperating with God's grace is a lifelong endeavor where we imitate and live the virtues Jesus taught us and are formed by God in love.

I really don’t need a lecture on Catholicism. I grew up in a devoutly Catholic family in a devoutly Catholic society, and fortunately, I and my country have both grown out of it.

Well if that's the case why are you lecturing other Catholics on this thread and claiming what you know the Church doesn't teach? Individual crimes and sins are the responsibility of those who commit them or with full knowledge allowed them to continue, which is also a crime.
No Catholic on here is defending crime and abuse.

I don't think @PossiblyNow has lectured any of us, and I found the story about the surviving Munster rather encouraging - that generation had such terrible experiences during the war, and some of them went on to do far worse things than shagging around.

I will however say that not all of us have 'grown out of' being Catholic.

I apologize @PossiblyNow I thought I was responding to a different poster that was my mistake.

I agree. The scrupulosity for example is like the psychological/neuropsychological problem of OCD, but just finding a religious outlet in your case.

Could your doctor help you find a counsellor?

Then go to Mass for the beauty and peace and remember the one message that really matters is that you are loved and part of God.

could society not create a more human based philosophy then those that want to follow x religions can, and then for the rest of society have a new set eg humanism based philosophy ?

Many of the philosophers and developers of humanism were Catholic, such as Erasmus who was a Catholic priest. That's a whole nuther huge topic that deserves its own thread, so don't think we should derail the OP's.