Trying to be a Christian... any tips?

[HeroicMinute]

I've just started listening to the Hallowed app. The first thing I've come across is a Routines course, which is great for me as I am horrendous time waster, which probably explains why I haven't spiritually evolved.
I was raised loosely Christian and attended the village church as a child. I think I want to replicate this traditional experience, but with some slightly more intellectual content.
I've been thinking about Christianity for a few years, and have tried a few different churches, but nothing's stuck.
My reasons for not sticking at a church:
-I can't handle a church band, it all seems very nice and worshipful but it makes me cringe a bit. I love a choir.
-I am very opposed to modern identity politics and didn't go back when a vicar started talking about structural racism in the church.
-I stopped going to an evangelical church because the curate was sweet and excited about his Christianity but did lengthy sermons suitable for children with no analysis or intellectual stimulation.
-found a curate at another church a bit creepy.
-found the sermon in a big popular church on 8th October to be a bit antisemitic.

You get the picture; I'm a bit of a PITA and I'm obviously putting up barriers. Don't get me wrong; I'm not a particularly intellectual person but I am curious and I sincerely want to be a Christian. I don't yet believe properly, sometimes I do, well I suppose I usually do, but with varying levels of conviction.
Any tips would be very gratefully received.
Thank you in advance.

As a woman I absolutely love how Paul treated women. Just as our Lord was had female disciples who sat at His feet and supported His ministry, when I think of Paul I think of Phoebe and Priscilla and Lydia and Euodia and Syntyche and Junia et al. Prominent, serving, worthy of respect and honour, no wonder Christianity was so warmly embraced by women.

But will
God always save you? Or is it up to you to save yourself?

As a woman I find that passage in Timothy impossible to get past. Cult leaders often have women at their feet, it doesn’t mean it’s a good thing.

But will
God always save you? Or is it up to you to save yourself?

@Kdtym10, God saves us, it is a gift we receive by His grace through faith.

It smacks of male headship to me. Which I find an abhorrent concept.

@pointythings

"27 for all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. 28 There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. 29 If you belong to Christ, then you are Abraham’s seed, and heirs according to the promise." (Galatian's 3:27-29 NIV)

Wouldn't it be nice if all Christians actually followed that - they don't.Instead they use Paul as an excuse for men to oppress women.

This is why I am not a follower of any Abrahamic faith. If I had to have a faith, I would be a pagan.

@pointythings, I believe that piece of scripture I just quoted. I think it is an important concept to remember.

You might want to read that in light of Paul’s Merkabah mysticism

@Kdtym10, was this mysticism before or after his conversion?

Likely all through - why?

@Kdtym10 you don't know then?

There is no controversy about Paul talking about being 'one in Christ' and the practices of Merkabah mysticism if he practiced this before his conversion to Christianity. Christianity was something new.

I'm surprised you have an issue with Paul if you think he is a mystic, sure mysticism and gnosticism wouldn't be too far apart.

But why are you arguing against Christianity and the Bible on a thread started by someone who is actually seeking God?

To “sit at the feet” is an idiom which means to “be a disciple”.

in Acts 22:3 Paul describes himself as
“…indeed a Jew, born in Tarsus of Cilicia, but brought up in this city at the feet of Gamaliel, …” to indicate the identity of the Rabbi was under whom he was a disciple.

The account of Jesus at the house of Mary and Martha explains beautifully Jesus’ attitude to a woman who aspired to follow Him as a man would. He refused to deny Mary the same opportunity as a man to hear His teaching and follow Him. He refused to relegate her to “women’s work”.

“Now it happened as they went that He entered a certain village; and a certain woman named Martha welcomed Him into her house. And she had a sister called Mary, who also sat at Jesus’ feet and heard His word. But Martha was distracted with much serving, and she approached Him and said, “Lord, do You not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Therefore tell her to help me.” And Jesus answered and said to her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things. But one thing is needed, and Mary has chosen that good part, which will not be taken away from her.”
Luke 10: 38-41

Well o don’t have an issue with Paul’s mysticism per se. I have an issue with some of his views and appropriation of the teachings of Jesus and trying to legitimise his authority in telling people what they should be doing to be followers of Jesus.

I have been pointing out that Christianity can be practiced in many ways and that Christianity as set out in the most popular organised denominations is not necessarily the best representation of what Jesus taught.

I agree with your last paragraph. It is very valid to point out to OP that Christianity comes in many manifestations - most of whom tend to claim that they are the only 'true' one. It's a minefield. It also means, since nobody can prove that their version is 'correct', that OP is free to seek out a form of Christianity that aligns with her values and that it is worth taking time about that.

But we are talking about the attitude of Paul to women - I would agree this is in direct contrast to Jesus which undermines Paul further (although we could argue about Luke here)

Absolutely, if you are going to align yourself to a belief system it’s important to understand the options out there. People often have a very narrow view on what Christianity is

No, I don’t think we are talking about Paul’s attitude to women.

I made a statement about my opinion on Paul and women.

You made a remark about “sitting at the feet” insinuating it meant something other than what the idiom actually conveys.

That’s it.

My use of the term “sitting at their feet” was not meant as a biblical reference so the passages you quote are irrelevant,

I was, however talking about the attitude Paul had towards women.

Of course everyone is free to interpret Paul's words as they wish; however, the fact is that they have been used for about 2000 years to oppress women and keep them small, and in a lot of Christian denominations that is still happening. It is important to be aware of this when choosing which path of Christianity to follow.

I’ve stated how much I love the way Paul treats women. I know not everyone will share my opinion or will have understood the fuller picture of what was going on there. That’s ok. I’m really not interested in debating the issue.

Why do you think the words on Timothy are ok? What do you love about, women should stay silent, not teach and dress modestly?

I draw your attention to the last sentence of my previous post.

Yes people need to realise Pauline Christianity is just one view of Christianity