Trying to be a Christian... any tips?

[HeroicMinute]

I've just started listening to the Hallowed app. The first thing I've come across is a Routines course, which is great for me as I am horrendous time waster, which probably explains why I haven't spiritually evolved.
I was raised loosely Christian and attended the village church as a child. I think I want to replicate this traditional experience, but with some slightly more intellectual content.
I've been thinking about Christianity for a few years, and have tried a few different churches, but nothing's stuck.
My reasons for not sticking at a church:
-I can't handle a church band, it all seems very nice and worshipful but it makes me cringe a bit. I love a choir.
-I am very opposed to modern identity politics and didn't go back when a vicar started talking about structural racism in the church.
-I stopped going to an evangelical church because the curate was sweet and excited about his Christianity but did lengthy sermons suitable for children with no analysis or intellectual stimulation.
-found a curate at another church a bit creepy.
-found the sermon in a big popular church on 8th October to be a bit antisemitic.

You get the picture; I'm a bit of a PITA and I'm obviously putting up barriers. Don't get me wrong; I'm not a particularly intellectual person but I am curious and I sincerely want to be a Christian. I don't yet believe properly, sometimes I do, well I suppose I usually do, but with varying levels of conviction.
Any tips would be very gratefully received.
Thank you in advance.

None of whom make up the such a large part of one of the worlds major religions holy books - well apart from Mohammed- now that really is a shit show.

@Kdtym10 think of all the people who claim to fight for Christ. You claim to be a follower of Christ don't you?

I suspect o have a different understanding of Christ than the people who fight over Jesus. But that doesn’t answer my point of why Paul’s individual experience makes up such a large part of a book supposedly concerned with Jesus

@Kdtym10

But that doesn’t answer my point of why Paul’s individual experience makes up such a large part of a book supposedly concerned with Jesus

It's a question I can't answer definitively. I guess his writings resonated with people. I wasn't at Nicea, I was not party to all the conversations regarding the selection of all the books that make up The Bible. But it happened and I have found Paul's writings helpful to my own faith.

But it’s not really a matter of it helping your own faith, there’s many writings that people have helpful to their faith but it’s not an argument to make them a cornerstone of a holy book. I find Blake the most helpful thing for my faith, should we stick his prophetic books in the New Testament?

There’s many reasons discussed elsewhere on this thread why Paul’s works are so prominent in the NT. But I think their inclusion is very open to challenge, esp as they form such a cornerstone of the Christian belief system- is Christianity following Jesus or Paul’s version of Jesus moulded to meet his own needs?

@Kdtym10

I find Blake the most helpful thing for my faith, should we stick his prophetic books in the New Testament?

You probably would if you were deciding...

There’s many reasons discussed elsewhere on this thread why Paul’s works are so prominent in the NT

What your belief that they unfairly quashed Pagan Goddess cults? I doubt think Jesus Christ promoted female Goddess cults either. The Bible is a holy book for Christians not Pagans.

Actually, I wouldn’t include Blake, the New Testament should be a book about Jesus and his life not an individual’s thoughts on him.

That was wasn’t what I said, I said that it was useful to have such a large proportion of a holy book written by someone who advocated that the Kewish Jesus cult was not just for Jews when you’re trying to have a unified religion across an empire where the majority are not Jewish. It was also useful to have a book that placed men in the positions of power and said women were to be quiet and not teach when you’re trying to distinguish religions that gave women power (also see witch trials).

Paul has many characteristics that we see in cult leaders. I believe this was his true aim

@Kdtym10

"15 He said to them, “Go into all the world and preach the gospel to all creation." (Mark 16:15)

That doesn't suggest to me Jesus is just for Jews.

As per the Galatians 3: 27-29 quote I quoted upthread before Paul wrote about how we are 'all one' that is equal in Christ (men/women etc) Paul exclaiming women should be silent, as I posted earlier, I think could easily have referred to women being disrespectful towards Paul's teaching and authority as a teacher of the Gospel. It is easy to imagine how it was a rebuke to tackle heckling and personal attacks aimed towards Paul especially given his history.

The witch trials emerged out of a pretty complex political situation and power struggles involving King James during the reformation. I think it's a bit simplistic to say they were only about suppressing women although undeniably they did suppress women.

@Kdtym10 'I said that it was useful to have such a large proportion of a holy book written by someone who advocated that the Kewish Jesus cult was not just for Jews when you’re trying to have a unified religion across an empire where the majority are not Jewish.'

Are you saying that Jesus just came for the Jews? Sorry, I don't understand what it is you are saying.

Well he came to the Jewish people to fulfill a Jewish prophecy and seemed, at best, indifferent to Gentiles.

Matthew 18;17 - treat sinners like Gentiles - avoid them.

So Paul obviously would like me, as a mere woman questioning his questionable authority on the subject., it’s a bit like a cult leader not wanting his authority questioned- esp by someone as lowly as a pesky woman.

The majority of people affected by witchcraft (although yes some were men) were intelligent, nonconformist women, many of whom were well regarded in their communities eg mid wives, healers etc.

James 1 was obsessed with evil/demons. Over on the continent things were just as bad. The church constantly needs any enemy - its dualistic nature runs deep.

@Kdtym10

Matthew 18;17 - treat sinners like Gentiles - avoid them.

Jesus didn't avoid Gentiles or sinners. Jesus spoke to them, engaged with them and showed compassion towards them. So I don't think it means avoid them. I think it means maybe don't be too unforgiving and harsh towards them. Remember the hope in Christ.

So Paul obviously would like me, as a mere woman questioning his questionable authority on the subject., it’s a bit like a cult leader not wanting his authority questioned- esp by someone as lowly as a pesky woman.

The authority Paul had was based on God working in him and through him. Do you question that? It's quite a harsh accusation. As, I have said, I find his writing helpful to my faith as many others do and have done.

The majority of people affected by witchcraft (although yes some were men) were intelligent, nonconformist women, many of whom were well regarded in their communities eg mid wives, healers etc.

It's interesting mid wives and healers were amongst those accused as provision for the sick and needy went from being the responsibility of the church in Catholic times to the responsibility of the combined State / Church with the Church of England. There was certainly a power play there. Maybe some of those women were the women in the church who were concerned with doing good works...

Matthew 18;17 - treat sinners like Gentiles - avoid them.

@Kdtym10, as in 'live and let live'. The Jews lived in close proximity to Gentiles and tax collectors. Maybe just don't expect them to conform to your way of doing things.

So Paul obviously would like me, as a mere woman questioning his questionable authority on the subject., it’s a bit like a cult leader not wanting his authority questioned- esp by someone as lowly as a pesky woman.

@Kdtym10, I think what Paul was saying was the accusations levelled towards him teaching were hypocritical. It's like he felt they were expecting him to be perfect in order to teach and yet they weren't and were attempting to teach over him by taking over and being disruptive.

A correction on a misrepresentation of Matthew 18.

“If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over.

But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’

If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector.”
Matthew 18: 15-17

Here Christ is teaching on the resolving of issues involving sin within His church / ἐκκλησία / ekklēsia

This isn’t a teaching to the Jews as a nation or as a group, per se. It’s a teaching to His disciples. It’s about how He wants things done in the assembly / ekklēsia of those who follow Him as Messiah.

And to treat someone as a “pagan or tax collector” isn’t implying hatred or mistreatment, or even indifference (since followers of Christ are commanded to love even their enemies) - it is to recognise that these people have chosen to act outside of the accepted way He has set down for His assembly, and therefore have abrogated their rights to be active participants in the ekklēsia.

*typo

The mission of the Messiah was always intended to be for all humanity, Gentiles included, beginning with the Jews.

Prophecy on this includes Isaiah 49:6

“Indeed He (God) says,
‘It is too small a thing that You should be My Servant to raise up the tribes of Jacob,
And to restore the preserved ones of Israel; I will also give You as a light to the Gentiles, that You should be My salvation to the ends of the earth.’ ”

This theme permeates the Old Testament scriptures and is brought into clarity during the ministry of Christ, who interacted positively with Gentiles, and then exploded exponentially following His resurrection, documented thoroughly in the book of Acts, written by ‘the beloved physician’ Luke, most likely a Gentile himself.

You think that Jesus Christ who came to save sinners was indifferent to gentile sinners? With respect, you could not be more wrong.

Were the Ninevites Jews?

Of course not, but they received salvation via the same means as everyone else who has been born again of the Spirit of God since Adam and Eve.

Am I a Jew? No, and how have I been saved from my sin - by repenting and believing the Gospel: that Jesus Christ is the Lamb of God who takes away sin. If He was indifferent to me, a gentile, He would not have suffered for my personal sin, personally, on the cross. That is the least indifferent thing that anyone could have done for me. That is as far away from indifferent as one can get. The God-Man who was without sin suffered to the point that He cried out 'My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?'

As @LeaningOnTheEverlastingArms wrote: 'The mission of the Messiah was always intended to be for all humanity, Gentiles included, beginning with the Jews.'
The promise that God was going to destroy Satan's power was given in Genesis 3:15. And in Genesis 22:18 the promise is given to Abraham: 'in thy seed shall all the nations of the earth be blessed'. How would all nations of the earth be blessed through Abraham's seed? By the Messiah, Jesus Christ, coming through Abraham's line, and His salvation would be offered to people from every nation. Hence, why when Christ came, and after He had risen from the dead, He appeared before the 11 disciples and commanded them to 'Go ye into all the world, and preach the gospel to every creature'. What would be the point in preaching to every creature if the sin of gentile peoples had not been atoned for on the cross?

Isaiah 49:6
'That my salvation may reach to the end of the earth'

Isaiah 52:10 'all the ends of the earth shall see the salvation of our God'

Isaiah 60:3 'and nations shall come to your light'

John 8:12 'I am the light of the world. WHOEVER follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life'.

Acts 13:47
'For so the Lord has commanded us, saying, "I have made you a light for the Gentiles, that you may bring salvation to the ends of the earth"'.

Acts 26:23
'that the Christ must suffer and that, by being the first to rise from the dead, he would proclaim light both to our people and to the Gentiles'.

Even if we go along with the unagreed prospect this section refers to Jesus - all this is saying is that even Gentiles will see how great Jesus is. It doesn’t promise anything to them. When you read that whole chapter it’s clear the plan is to restore Israel for Gods chosen people.

But why do you think Jesus suffered for your sin? Nothing you have quoted backs that up at all.

@Kdtym10

"15 He said to them, “Go into all the world and preach the gospel to all creation." (Mark 16:15)

Why do you think Jesus said this?

@Kdtym10 and if you are not Jewish, why do you claim to be a follower of Jesus Christ?

@Kdtym10 posted too soon..

that is since you claim Jesus never intended his disciples to spread the Gospel to Gentiles?

Read isaiah 53.

The scripture cited was only one example of the many, many references to the Gentiles being included in God’s salvation.

The New Testament shows this beginning to be fulfilled, even within the earthly ministry of Christ.

example- when Jesus remarked on the faith of the Roman centurion, whose servant He healed, and prophesied of many who would be like him.

“When Jesus heard it, He marvelled, and said to those who followed, “Assuredly, I say to you, I have not found such great faith, not even in Israel! And I say to you that many will come from east and west, and sit down with Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob in the kingdom of heaven.”
Matthew 8: 10-11

example - the incident when crowds of Samaritans (half Jew/ half Gentile) came to faith in Christ, recognising His universal mission.

“And many of the Samaritans of that city believed in Him because of the word of the woman who testified, “He told me all that I ever did.” So when the Samaritans had come to Him, they urged Him to stay with them; and He stayed there two days.
And many more believed because of His own word. Then they said to the woman, “Now we believe, not because of what you said, for we ourselves have heard Him and we know that this is indeed the Christ, the Saviour of the world.”
John 4: 39-42

example - the testimony of John the Baptist, identifying the universality of the mission of the Lamb.

“The next day John saw Jesus coming toward him, and said, “Behold! The Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world!”
John 1: 29

example - while preaching His inaugural message Christ clearly alluded to His rejection by His own countrymen and identified two Gentiles who were cared for by God in the time of Elijah and Elisha, much to the anger of those who heard Him.

”Then He said, “Assuredly, I say to you, no prophet is accepted in his own country. But I tell you truly, many widows were in Israel in the days of Elijah, when the heaven was shut up three years and six months, and there was a great famine throughout all the land; but to none of them was Elijah sent except to Zarephath, in the region of Sidon, to a woman who was a widow. And many lepers were in Israel in the time of Elisha the prophet, and none of them was cleansed except Naaman the Syrian.”

So all those in the synagogue, when they heard these things, were filled with wrath, and rose up and thrust Him out of the city; and they led Him to the brow of the hill on which their city was built, that they might throw Him down over the cliff. Then passing through the midst of them, He went His way.”
Luke 4:24-30

I could list all the references to Gentiles being converted throughout the rest of the NT but space does not allow.

The mission of the Messiah was always to all people, Jew first and then Gentile, as prophecy and as testimony confirms.

Right, let’s go back to basics shall we? The concept of the Messiah is Jewish - I think we can all agree on that. Christianity calls Jesus the Messiah and says his coming fulfils these Jewish prophecies. Can we all agree on that?

So what are these prophecies? For that we need to look at the Talmud (the Torah is silent on the concept of messiah).

So these prophecies talk about “Geula Shelaima” the complete redemption. What this means is highly complex but in short is the final freeing of Jewish people from all persecution and oppression and ending the exile of Gods Chosen people from Israel. At this final redemption the non-Jewish world would stop their hatred of the Jews, non- Jews might submit to the Jewish law.

Those is what Jesus was saying - to let the rest of the world know this. To tell the rest of the world the good news had come. That
Geulah Shelaima Was here.
Except it hadn’t. If Jesus was the messiah to bring “Geulah Shelaima” the Jews would be free from persecution and oppression and the exiles would end.

And this is the problem Christianity faces. In order for Jesus to be the messiah he needs to fulfill these Jewish criteria of bringing about the complete redemption- one only had to look at almost any point in the last 2000 years to realise this hasn’t happened. So it’s an issue - how do Christians square this circle- my moving the goal posts of redemption to being the removal of sin through Jesus death. But this removes the very identifiers of the Jewish messiah (in reality it’s more complicated than this)