Navigating Halloween as a Christian parent

[Wrongsideofpennines]

Any words of wisdom for managing Halloween with children when your beliefs seem at odds with the 'celebrations'? As a Christian I don't want to celebrating evil, witchcraft etc.

My eldest is 3 and has noticed that homes are decorated for Halloween. They won't understand trick or treating this year and I have no intention of taking them to knock on strangers doors in the dark. But I know this will get increasingly difficult as they get older.

I had planned to ignore it. I was brought up either going to the Light Party at church or staying home in the back room with the lights off. I had hoped to do the same with my children but it is just everywhere - houses decorated, 'spooky season' in the shops and on TV adverts, the childminders house, every baby and toddler group has Halloween special sessions. I don't remember it being this big a deal when I was a child and therefore never felt like I was missing out.

So do I ignore or embrace? Or something better?

For a Christian you have very little knowledge on your faith.

How are you going to approach school when they do Halloween parties? Keep them off, let them be the only child not in costume?

Explain that as evenings are darker and colder in Autumn, people used to tell each other scary stories. It's all nonsense. All made up.

We allowed the children to have the fun, inconsequential parts, whilst mocking the genuinely horrific, gory decorations etc.
Some shops have horrible Halloween decorations and mannequins; we comment on how cheaply they are made, how flimsy, how much red paint it must have taken etc etc.

Superstition and making kids fearful has no place in 21st century.
We are not Christians.

I was going to say this (but not a Catholic). In all churches including the orthodox this is All Hallows Eve (hence halloween) or, in modern parlance All Saints Eve. Yes it's got overbearing, I think, but in terms of "damage" to Christian values, it is no more disturbing than telling the kids that Jesus was born on 25th December or that St Nicholas has a red suit, and that there are eggs for Easter (a pagan custom all round). Childhood is supposed to be "magic", and part of that magic is witches, hob goblins and things that go bump in the night. Embrace it. They'll be grown up in no time.

I'm Irish but did secondary school in England a long time ago. None of my schoolmates had ever heard of Halloween. This was in Essex btw. Perhaps it was hanging on in the west country? Certainly nobody went trick or treating. We never used those words when we went guising in Ireland before Hollywood took it over. We would shout ' Apples or nuts!' at every door. There were games and stories. And a cake called brack / breac . This just means 'speckled ' in Irish. It contained a ring, a booby prize and other bits I forget. No health and safety back then ! There would be bonfires and costumes. Which were home made , often out of straw. And masks of course.

Speaking of bonfires , my new English pals couldn't see the point of Halloween since they had Guy Fawkes the following week. Where we all celebrate a man being hanged , disembowelled and burnt. I never heard any Christian condemn it as evil.

Fellow Christian parent. We attend our church light party, I am actually helping at church today with preparations. However Halloween in our area is difficult to ignore and I can't get too worked up about all of it. While we don't celebrate it in our home, our children have also done Halloween bingo at their aunt's house. They have attended a Halloween event at Chessington and loved looking at all the pumpkins. My oldest son has also declined another church's light party on the actual Halloween night to attend his usual youth club where they will be doing Halloween activities. When the children do participate in Halloween we tend to focus on what I consider more harmless fun as opposed to the horror and more scary aspects.

I shall just light a candle and remember all those I loved who have died, that’s what it means to me. Christian or pagan, the idea is the same.

Halloween has it roots in a Celtic pagan festival and then the Christian church introduced All Saints’ Day - and the the two events influenced each other. The original celebration was based on a belief that it was a day where the line between us and the “otherworld” was thinnest. So it’s very much based on a belief that the spirit world is real.

What posts are saying it is it’s night for witchcraft

@Abhannmor I agree, England has imported today's version from the US where it evolved from the melting pot of immigrants traditions including Scottish and Irish customs. I grew up in SE England (Scottish mum) and it was the same there back in the day; we had Halloween traditions at home and my mum wistfully remembered the guising she'd enjoyed as a child, but Halloween wasn't a big thing for most people. However, the area went ALL OUT for 5th November - torchlight parades and bonfire societies culminating in burning the Pope in effigy in Lewes on the actual day. Cheerful little celebration of centuries of sectarian violence and prejudice, if you stop and think about the origins, but we never did - just enjoyed the toffee and burnt jacket potatoes and running round in the dark and the community coming together to ooh and aah at the fireworks. I think it speaks to something instinctive, to come together to mark the turning of the year and acknowledge the dark, whatever peg we hang it on.

I don't like Halloween either and the displays in shops seem to get scarier each year. I did complain to one shop who had a display (at kid height not far from the tills) of a haunted house and some kind of child doll hanging from a noose with fake blood pouring from its eyes.

I love dress up and community fun but I don't see how mock ups of suicidal dolls and serial killer masks is healthy?

In terms of navigating it as a Christian, we engage with the lighter parts of it (like I'll give sweets to the little kids who come round trick or treating) and I'll sometimes put out a pumpkin that's got a heart/cross in it. That's our way of sharing a bit of light among all the ghoulish stuff. I wouldn't actively take the kids out to go trick or treating (they're not bothered anyway) instead we just have a fun family night in - pizza, sweets and a fun movie.

I think the key is to say 'it's happening so I can't ignore or boycott it but I will do my best to share some light and hope instead'.

Yes @Cockerdileteeth I flatshared with Scottish people in the 80s and we actually took our own little ones guising in Edinburgh once - a city made for it if ever there was one!

Of course we enjoyed the treats and fireworks on Bonfire night in England. Though my mother renamed Guy as Oliver naturally enough.

Goodness sake. You are misinformed. Halloween is not about celebrating evil and/or witchcraft. Have you actually read anything about it’s origins?

I'm Pagan so we celebrate Samhain, however I've also acknowledged Halloween with my children, how it's different and how it's celebrated. As they get older ill discuss how All Saints day and Halloween have both evolved over the years.

Ill do the same with our other Sabbats, as most of them have been adapted.

I think the better option is having this information yourself, i think this thread has been good to show the misunderstandings that are out there. But if we each have understanding then we can pass that on and our children can grow up informed about the differences and able to acknowledge other peoples choices.

Thank you to those who have shared how they manage things from a Christian perspective. I think I will probably take a few aspects that fit with our beliefs and leave the rest. Our church unfortunately isn't running a light party, and the one that is happening near us is on a day we can't dom

I am well aware of the origins of the festival, although perhaps not all the detail so thank you for some helpful education. I have been to All Souls services at this time of year in the past when I was attending more Anglo-Catholic churches. However I feel that all this has been lost in the current form commercial Halloween takes. I think it unnecessary for shop staff to be dressed as zombies with fake blood or people walking round with a noose round their neck a week beforehand. There are people asking if their toddlers costume is scary enough, and saying some costumes at school this week have been terrifying. I'm struggling to understand why the rest of the year you protect your child from fears but in October you actively encourage it. Again with encouraging talking to strangers and asking them for sweets.

I know my views are influenced by my own childhood. And yes we did sit in the back room with lights off in the front, because if you weren't in then there was less chance of teenagers throwing eggs at your windows or spraying the house in silly string if you didn't give them sweets. A friend also had the deeply unpleasant experience of their dad receiving Palliative care in the front room. They put a big sign and bowls of sweets outside to tell people not to knock and they were still disturbed by numerous people (adults included) asking to refill the bowl. To me that shows very little understanding of the origins and very little respect.

And those who said if I force my children to ignore it then they will only want to be involved more - I disagree, as my own case demonstrates. I think I will bow out now as I wasn't really looking for debate, just a bit of support.

Op I totally hear you. I completely agree. There are a lot of posters thinking they have some kind of gotcha moment when they mention the origins of Halloween. As I said before, I grew up in Ireland and absolutely know about Samhain and how it was appropriated by the church to merge with a religious festival. I was actually encouraged to go deep into the celebrations as a child. I was heavily into New Age practises since childhood and became a Christian in my thirties. I absolutely did my own research and came to my own conclusions.

Ultimately some people think it's harmless fun, and some people feel that it has a spiritual significance that they don't like. As a Christian, I aim to have a clear conscience in every aspect of my life, and this is no different.

I go with my own conscience in these matters and don't care what others think.

@Wrongsideofpennines to be fair people probably read the notice not to knock. So many daft notices and signs that people generally dont read them all.

If I didn't want people to knock I'd close the curtains and put the hall light off. Not bother with bowls outside. Or any form of decoration.

I always do the same around Halloween and All Saints and All Souls. For me it's time to pause and think of people I've lost collectively but also to express gratitude for my life and to try to go forward positively.

Please try researching Samhain. This was a celtic festival meaning summers end and was appropriated by Christians as All hallows Eve. It has since morphed into the commercial Halloween.

Trust me there is no " Evil/witchcraft " associated with it in its original form.

I'm Irish and grew up near this prehistoric monument.

https://www.newgrange.com/samhain.htm

My family were very interested in the spiritual interests of our distant ancestors, with some even taking part in Solstice festivals here. I've been to it, along with many other similar prehistoric sites that exist in Ireland. Obviously we touched on it while I was learning Irish in school, too.

As a Christian, I don't want to engage in any activity which is built on the premise of the souls of the dead being on earth, after having died. Remembering our beloved departed, is one thing, contemplating a day where the veil between the living and the dead is at its thinnest, is something else. Something I have researched, know about and prefer not to engage in.

It gets worse when they are teens especially girls. They basically wear underwear as their outfits...

@Isiteverevenreallyover can i ask, because I'm genuinely interested, what's the difference between souls being on earth after they've died and when Jesus returned from the dead, or Mary being in Lourdes?

@Isiteverevenreallyover it's fine if you don't want to answer, I'm not wanting to put you on the spot. I am just interested.

I can't answer for that poster but my view was that Mary was assumed into heaven whereas some spirits may not have passed over and are trapped.

@Isiteverevenreallyover Ultimately some people think it's harmless fun, and some people feel that it has spiritual significance that they don't like. As a Christian, I aim to have a clear conscience in every aspect of my life, and this is no different.

I go with my own conscience in these matters and don't care what others think.

and

As a Christian, I don't want to engage in any activity which is built on the premise of the souls of the dead being on earth, after having died.

100%

As a Christian, I don't want to engage in any activity which is built on the premise of the souls of the dead being on earth, after having died

You wouldn't have liked visiting my grandfather's childhood home which is still in my family. Two of my great aunts weren't resting in peace.

It's just become a tradition, most people don't even consider its religious connotations.