Navigating Halloween as a Christian parent

[Wrongsideofpennines]

Any words of wisdom for managing Halloween with children when your beliefs seem at odds with the 'celebrations'? As a Christian I don't want to celebrating evil, witchcraft etc.

My eldest is 3 and has noticed that homes are decorated for Halloween. They won't understand trick or treating this year and I have no intention of taking them to knock on strangers doors in the dark. But I know this will get increasingly difficult as they get older.

I had planned to ignore it. I was brought up either going to the Light Party at church or staying home in the back room with the lights off. I had hoped to do the same with my children but it is just everywhere - houses decorated, 'spooky season' in the shops and on TV adverts, the childminders house, every baby and toddler group has Halloween special sessions. I don't remember it being this big a deal when I was a child and therefore never felt like I was missing out.

So do I ignore or embrace? Or something better?

I LOVE Halloween. I think it embodies Christian values even more than Christmas these days.

The reason I love it is:

• the simple fun of dressing up and going out at night. This is thrilling for little children.
• the community feeling. Seeing people you know out on the streets, admiring decorations. Someone opens their amazingly decorated door to hand out sweets and you realise it's the school lollipop man. Everyone in good spirits - happy, smiling.
• giving and receiving. I absolutely love the dressed up kids coming for their sweets and you compliment their costume and see how happy they look with your sweet and your sweet words.

If Halloween is the work of the devil, then he must be sorely disappointed!

Like most things, it's what you make of it and what is in your heart. I don't think God cares if a little girl is dressed up as a witch but a supposed 'Christian' lying to their insurance company or flirting with their secretary or screaming at their kids. Far more evil than Halloween.

That's one HELL of a user name 😂👻

@Crackery Thank you, I've never heard of them so I will check out their resources.

Those asking if we do Santa - I think its very different as the modern notion of Father Christmas is a kindly old man delivering gifts, whereas Halloween appears to be dressing up as dead people and scaring each other. We celebrate Christmas with Jesus at the centre. My children receive gifts as part of that celebration.

I can get on board with the All Saints/All Souls thing, I just don't like the goulishness of it. A friend shared a photo of her girls dressed up with make up and fake blood. Her 2 year old had marks on her neck as though her throat had been cut, and I just thought it was hideous rather than cute/funny/whatever else I was supposed to think. To me that isn't a celebration of saints, or all souls or anything that I would want to be a part of. Maybe it isn't a faith thing at all. I don't even know.

Exactly this. Very much a christian festival.

Halloween isn't celebrating witchcraft. It's carving pumpkins and trick or treating. I am Catholic, my kids go to catholic school, they and all their friends celebrate. The school is fine with it, the other parents are fine with it, I don't see the disconnect....

My children are dressing up as a pumpkin and a crocodile. No dead people or scaring involved.

And it's usually clear round about us who is handing out sweets and who isn't. So no knocking on random doors and disturbing people who don't want to participate.

I think it's what you make of it. I am Christian too and believe I am in this world but not of it. I don't decorate my house for halloween because it's scary, I usually put a tin of chocs out that are gone very early. My kids choose to dress up as Buzz Lightyear or Where's Wally, and they enjoy guising with a joke to share. They know I don't like halloween but it's not a massive issue. They also hear people swear but know we don't do it. I just see it as part of modern life really, and Jesus in my mind weren't the judgmental type.

I went guising for the first time last year aged 41 with my dd and I loved it! I actually resent the faxmct I never went as a child because my mother was religious. I do remember a All Hallow's party at school (which seems such a waste) and a party held by the church (for which my mum and I dressed as a witch and a cat, bizarrely enough!) but it was more for adults than children.

I'm glad I no longer believe so I have no qualms about joining in or feel I'm depriving my dd.

My children are older. My street go to town with decorations. I felt I had to make a decision about how to approach Halloween and decided to opt out.

My line with my children has been- we follow Jesus; we celebrate love. We believe the spirit world is real, not just a hit of fun, and we won't take part in celebrating evil spirits and fear.

I have found it difficult that other Christian families have taken a different standpoint. It is a bit of a grey area and different Christians will navigate it in different ways.

It was clear to me from threads on Mumsnet that Halloween night is an important night for witches and witchcraft . That helped me to be sure of my actions to opt out.

We took our children to different places/ had movie night or games night and gave sweets.

Some churches have light parties and you should look into that to see if any near you.

OP, all parents make decisions about appropriateness of costumes, regardless of religion. I wouldn’t want to see a toddler with makeup to look like his throat had been slit. My kids have gone as Bert & Ernie (we’re in US), the Monopoly man, flamenco dancers, baby dragon. It’s just fun.

I agree. But some conservative Christians would see it as sinful.

I agree op - the horror/gore aspect is distasteful, especially when children are wearing the costumes. I think that is just thick parents who can’t think beyond violent horror movies.

We talk about Jesus as the light of the world, ours kids dont dress up. We've given out goody bags etc in the past but with a message of hope. Don't do Santa either 'it's a game that some people play but do not tell your friends that's for their parents to tell them'.

😂😂😂😂

@TinselTitsGo It certainly sounds fun and a lot more responsible. I have issue with it being "trick or treat", mostly because when I was young it was very common to hear stories about elderly or vulnerable being the victims of "trick" for not participating. But I also have issue with the giving out of sweets to kids you don't know when the rest of the year we teach not to accept sweets from strangers. The route/community things you have set up sounds really fun, why not just have all of the kids going around looking at and enjoying the fab decorations?

I empathise with the challenges of raising our children in a secular world. It's impossible to ignore Halloween as children become aware of the associated 'fun' being had by their friends and the assault of advertising. I found this helpful (in my opinion) view A Guide for the Christian's All-Hallows'-Eve - take the emphasis away from ghosts and ghoulies and as the article suggests, maybe celebrate instead the Christian saints who have gone home before us, or angels. Make the emphasis light and goodness.

Christianity has no more basis in reality than Halloween, so what does it really matter?

If you make it "something to be avoided" your kids will inevitably be attracted to it. If you don't like it, you don't have to encourage it, but don't ban if. I say this as someone who went to a school that was HORRIFIED by Halloween and ouija boards so guess what people tried to sneak into the common room....

Modern Halloween is pretty much secular now. Behind it is the Christian (Catholic) festival of Hallowmas - Hallowe'en or All Hallows Eve is literally the vigil of the feast of All Hallows, when the martyrs and saints of the church were honoured, and All Souls when the faithful departed were remembered and prayers said for their souls. "Hallow" literally means to honour as holy. These were of course Catholic festivals and like so many dates in the church calendar, absorbed and overlaid older customs - the Celtic festival of Samhain which marked the end of harvest and the start of winter, a liminal time in the wheel of the year when the spirit world was close. It was also a time to honour and appease the departed and a place was traditionally laid at the table for any deceased kin whose spirit may be near. (Samhain is important to modern paganism too.)

Dressing up or guising was to confuse any ill-intentioned spirits at a time when the spirit world was close and boundaries thin, it's for protection not to "celebrate evil". Same with the lanterns. Offerings of food appease and honour the departed. It's not "celebrating evil".

Post-Reformation, Protestant Christianity, particularly of the non-conforming variety, had no truck with saints, or prayers for the dead in purgatory, or other such superstitions, which led to these traditions being frowned upon and vilified in some strands of Christianity - and much misunderstanding and prejudice. (To be fair to them, the Puritans famously cancelled Christmas too...)

In today's multicultural and diverse society, I would respectfully suggest approaching Halloween as an opportunity to explore other people's traditions, as well as its secular face, with curiosity and respect. Let your DC participate and experience whatever aspects don't compromise the integrity of your beliefs (or your sense of good taste).

Pagan here. Both Halloween ( All Hallows Eve, All Souls Day) and Christmas originally were the pagan holidays of Samhain and Saturnalia that became Christianized. You can read about both here:
https://www.history.com/topics/halloween/history-of-halloween
https://www.history.com/topics/ancient-rome/saturnalia#how-saturnalia-led-to-christmas

We don't do it and never have. It's not biblical, it celebrates gore, violence and death, and is very much not Christian. I just explained this to my kids and we don't do it, it's just a normal day here.

I'm Christian (kids are old enough to decide themselves now) & we always did Halloween when they were younger but it was fun Halloween not scary/horror Halloween.

So no dead cheerleaders or Freddy Kruger outfits just cute witches/pirates/vampires/ghosts, pumpkins & treats with the hall decorated for guisers.

It's roots are in part Christian. Many very Christian communities and cultures celebrate it or variations on it.
You don't have to but it isn't unchristian even if it doesn't fit with your denominational beliefs.

@HoHoHoliday because getting sweets is a big part of the fun! It would be weird to just look at the decorations . The neighbourhood is excited to see the kids and people love handing out sweets. It’s such a lovely neighbourhood event and so fun.

In my family the important day were the Souls, with visiting graves of deceased family members, liting the candles at their graves and so on.

And Halloween is just a "pop-culture" version of the same, taking a fun angle on the topic.

I do agree, that pretending cut throat on a small child is strange.

My children were not remotely interested in Halloween but my grandchild is desperate to dress up on Tuesday and come home with chocolate 🤷‍♀️Absolutely nothing sinister about that ..it’s called fun !