Navigating Halloween as a Christian parent

[Wrongsideofpennines]

Any words of wisdom for managing Halloween with children when your beliefs seem at odds with the 'celebrations'? As a Christian I don't want to celebrating evil, witchcraft etc.

My eldest is 3 and has noticed that homes are decorated for Halloween. They won't understand trick or treating this year and I have no intention of taking them to knock on strangers doors in the dark. But I know this will get increasingly difficult as they get older.

I had planned to ignore it. I was brought up either going to the Light Party at church or staying home in the back room with the lights off. I had hoped to do the same with my children but it is just everywhere - houses decorated, 'spooky season' in the shops and on TV adverts, the childminders house, every baby and toddler group has Halloween special sessions. I don't remember it being this big a deal when I was a child and therefore never felt like I was missing out.

So do I ignore or embrace? Or something better?

Was also brought up in a pretty Conservative Christian household and we did some Halloween traditions. Things like having spiced apple pie, peanuts, the games like bobbing for apples and carving turnips, and we would have dressed up and gone to see the fireworks. It was never made a big deal of and we very much saw it as a bit of fun rather than an actual celebration of witchcraft or similar. There was definitely an overlap with the Christian approach to it as well. The only thing my mum wasn't cool with was us dressing up as anything that felt blasphemous or disrespectful like the devil or angels or nuns or anything like that.

Why not just take part as a generic fun children's day to play dress-up and go round to friends/a few neighbours for candy and fun? I really don't see it as a celebration of witchcraft as you describe it. Neither does anyone I have ever known. If you read up on it there are early Christian roots in Halloween. But, really, it's what you make it. Have some fun. 🤷‍♀️
As an aside, I know tonnes of non-Christians who have family celebrations at Christmas, including Christmas trees, lights and cooking a turkey, in addition to their own cultural and religious traditions without feeling betrayal, or fear, of their religions and cultures. They know their beliefs and who they are and a tree, a costume or a meal doesn't change that. Just something to think about.

I love this

Yeah, if you don't agree with it don't use it.

My kids were at school with alot of Jehovah's Witnesses and they have no celebrations of Christmas or birthdays and the kids all seemed ok about it. Anyone can get used to anything.

I don't really like Halloween.... except the sweets bit!

Yeah totally. We celebrate Christmas and none of us believe in God or Jesus. We like the food and the jollity and the general festiveness of it.

We like Greek Gods but we don't worship them or anything.

It’s a community celebration, a bit of fun. Nobody is believing in ghosts or evil. We are more enlightened and just want sweets. No deep meaning behind it.

I assume you're not RC or a member of an older protestant church? One of my DDs had a friend in school whose mother, a Baptist, thought Hallowe'en was the devil's birthday and so the friend had nothing to do with it.

Hallowe'en isn't a celebration of evil or witchcraft, despite appearances, and it's not the devil's birthday.

It's the day before the old religious feast, All Saints Day (aka All Hallows Day), 1 November, which is followed the next day by All Souls Day. Hallowe'en means the eve of All Hallows Day.

The Christian feasts were superimposed over the traditional celebration of the end of the harvest and the beginning of the season of darkness. In ancient days it was believed to be a liminal time, when the division between the living and the dead was erased. Customs included wearing of disguises, leaving out food for the spirits of the dead who would visit their old homes, and divining the future.

Over time, these customs morphed into the Hallowe'en we know today. In the intervening time, customs included the carving of turnips, disguises, people going from housebroken house to represent the spirits of the dead, and begging food from households, performing songs, along with various games and customs of divining the future (predicting marriage, wealth, success, etc). An example of this is the Irish barmbrack cake containing a ring, money, a piece of cloth, a thimble and other items. Traditionally in Ireland, bonfires would be lit. These customs are well documented as part of the folk ways of Ireland in the 18th and 19th centuries, and into the 20th.

The customs surrounding Hallowe'en are derived from a mishmash of Christian and older customs associated in Britain and Ireland with the feasts of Samhain and All Hallows, whose importance spread to continental Europe with Irish monks in very early medieval times (around the reign of Charlemagne), then spread to America and eventually England with Irish emigrants.

All Saints Day and All Souls Day are celebrated separately in the RC church, with all Christian dead/ the dead in general commemorated in the CoE, CoI, the Episcopalian Church in the US, and iirc the Lutheran church and some Methodist churches.

Just finished reading the whole thread.

I'm saddened that people know so little about the history of the feast, basically of the history of the Christian church.

I'm a Catholic, went to a convent school, and my DCs went to RC school in the US. The religious aspect of the holiday was emphasised for me and for my children but it went hand in hand with the secular customs. We made paper mache masks in art class in school, and seasonal collages, etc. My DCs' school allowed the children to wear their costumes to school that day, and the youngest grades paraded through the school to show off their costumes. Then they went to knock on the presbytery door and the parish priest distributed candy to them.

As a RC, the reality of God, the Trinity, etc is taught but so also is the reality of evil, with Good triumphant, and the ultimate defeat of death. The feasts of All Hallows and All Souls remind Christians of that; the fusing of ancient customs with Christian observance takes nothing from Christianity. It is important to remember that there is such a thing as evil, and that Good overcomes it.

We just don’t do it…but tbf none of our/their friends do either so they haven’t had a lot of questions. We have explained to them why we choose not to participate though and they understand! We do loads of fun autumn activities during this season as well.

@Isiteverevenreallyover
I agree with you wrt the glamorisation of evil, but I don't see that in Hallowe'en. I think there are a lot of movies and other material that glamorize or seek to normalise the likes of ouija boards, summoning of spirits, etc. and I avoid all of that.

There's plenty of evil all around us every day - the seven deadly sins are glamorized constantly. Kids in witch costumes are the least of the problems besetting the world.

I always think that religious houses 'at odds' with the usual celebrations have darker secrets lurking behind closed doors.

Maybe that's just me watching too many episodes of Criminal Minds and American Horror movies

Sitting at home in the back room with lights off for Halloween seems like all kinds of crazy especially in 2023.

@truetruebarneymcgrew

There is plenty of light at Hallowe'en as traditionally celebrated and as celebrated today. The bonfires and lanterns and the illuminated pumpkins remind us of the triumph of light over darkness.

And as several pps have remarked, the costumes are meant to scare off evil spirits, not summon them.

Agree wrt the idea of slaughtering all the animals at the end of the harvest simply didn't happen. My mother was brought up on a very self-sufficient farm in Ireland in the 1930s and 40s. They used to slaughter a pig and a bullock in the autumn, out of all the animals born the spring. The rest were left very much alive. The rest of the spring litter of pigs would be sold, along with several bullocks for meat/ live export to England. The slaughtered animals were butchered, salted, wrapped, and stored in an ancient stone storage shed, to be eaten over the winter by the family and the farm hands.

I can only add from the perspective of a child however, I grew up in a catholic household who wouldn't allow trick or treating/ anything more than a pumpkin and honestly I missed out so much. My mum finally let me trick or treat at 13 and my siblings got to fully experience it and also have a fully decorated house. Now my favourite season is halloween, I'm fully into witchcraft, I identify as agnostic/ pagan/buddhist and fully believe in the afterlife. I feel like my mums restrictions didn't particularly help and as a parent you can believe what you want however I obviously believe I would be who I am regardless.

Here is an extract about Samhain/Halloween which started in Ireland.As millions of children and adults participate in the fun of Halloween on the night of October 31st, few will be aware of its ancient Celtic roots in the Samhain (Samain) festival. In Celtic Ireland about 2,000 years ago, Samhain was the division of the year between the lighter half (summer) and the darker half (winter). At Samhain the division between this world and the otherworld was at its thinnest, allowing spirits to pass through.The family's ancestors were honoured and invited home whilst harmful spirits were warded off. People wore costumes and masks to disguise themselves as harmful spirits and thus avoid harm. Bonfires and food played a large part in the festivities. The bones of slaughtered livestock were cast into a communal fire, household fires were extinguished and started again from the bonfire. Food was prepared for the living and the dead, food for the ancestors who were in no position it eat it, was ritually shared with the less well off.Christianity incorporated the honouring of the dead into the Christian calendar with All Saints (All Hallows) on November 1st, followed by All Souls on November 2nd. The wearing of costumes and masks to ward off harmful spirits survived as Halloween customs. The Irish emigrated to America in great numbers during the 19th century especially around the time of famine in Ireland during the 1840's. The Irish carried their Halloween traditions to America, where today it is one of the major holidays of the year. Through time other traditions have blended into Halloween, for example the American harvest time tradition of carving pumpkins.

I love Halloween and it is one of my favourite even though I do not do much for it now as my son older but used to love as a kid myself getting our faces done up with soot or we would have a mask or cut out tights over our faces and mum would do a lovely halloween party before we went out knocking to the neighbours and we would sing for them and they would give us money and then there was a big bonfire which everyone on our few streets collected for ages and it was supervised by adults and we went around to all the other bonfires in the town so it was lovely. For my own son he loved getting dressed up and would take him with his friends to other houses which we knew were also celebrating so did not mind knocking. You would know the houses you could call to as usually had a lighted pumpkin outside.

If you want to do a little thing in your own home with some treats for the children and a little costume, then do it and if not just don't but it is not anything bad and it is nice to keep our Irish tradition. Or invite a friend and children over and have a little tea party for them so they do not feel left out.

I don’t think your objections are just religious… I’m not religious at all and don’t object to most Halloween dressing up.

But I don’t like the glamorisation of violence/ blood/ gore.

No, it's not. Everyone acknowledges that Halloween is pretend, but a lot of parents feel it's important for their kids to think Santa is not pretend.

Most people celebrate Halloween rhe same way they celebrate Christmas, as a completely secular holiday devoid of any religious association.

There may be people having celebrations on those days that have various spiritual meanings, but most people are just looking for a party.

This

i think it's hard to ignore Halloween e.g all local half term children's attractions near me have a halloween focus - pumpkin carving, potion school etc.

My view is that children can have fun dressing up a witch or ghost/ trick or treating/ halloween parties/ carving pumpkins etc without this being "celebrating evil". It's part of imagination/ play/ story telling and community fun

I have heard Christians not allow their children to read Harry Potter/ room on the broom - due to them containing witches. I watch these things myself and don't see a problem.
I think you need to go with your own conscience on this

I'm also Christian mother and would go to All saints/ Souls Day mass - remember/ pray for loved ones who have died and emphasise these as days of prayer. And i would take children to light party at church too

I don't agree with things like fortune tellers/ mediums/ actual witchcraft/ ouija boards - and would be clear on this as children get older

Why does it need to be thought of as a religious event at all? I know Muslims etc, who celebrate Christmas, and literally think of it as a nice day for present giving.

Can it not simply be thought of as a dress-up day, disassociated with the religious side? Or twist the intent... rather than celebrating evil, you're mocking it.

"whereas Halloween appears to be dressing up as dead people and scaring each other. "

No. I don't agree. I don't see it like that. That's not what Halloween 🎃 is to me. I don't like it when someone with very strong beliefs stops their child participating in a general event.

I like Easter egg hunts and bonfire night aswell.

In our neighbourhood Halloween is a community event - a large number of houses get involved in trick or treating (there’s a commonly understood rule that you only knock on doors displaying pumpkins, but many do).

To me the reality of how it is celebrated today trumps any historical or notional associations.

I think the act of opening our doors to our neighbours and sharing a small gift is quite special and demonstrates trust, kindness community and reciprocity. The fact people are dressed as witches feels almost incidental.

Our local church opens on Halloween night as a place to gather/safe space for anyone and they serve snacks and warm drinks. It gets really busy.

It's an important part of what is effectively a community 'event'. Maybe you and your children could get involved in something like this when they are older?

Very well explained @Cockerdileteeth . Samhain is the Irish for the month of November. Oíche Shamhna is the Eve of Samhain.

When you think of it the Christian feast days of All Saints and All Souls are focused on the departed and the spirit world just like Samhain. Catholics bless the graves and light candles on them on All Souls for example. These traditions are not in Scripture of course but nobody has taken the Bible literally until very recently.