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Philosophy/religion

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Does anyone have Jehovah's Witness parents?

82 replies

jwparent · 30/09/2023 19:08

Long story short I was brought up a JW. Parents were a bit in and out and didn't always attend meetings but still no Christmas or Birthdays. I was always petrified of lightening incase it was Armageddon starting. Not allowed into assembly or RE lessons at school.

It's was all just bloody awful and I wondered if anyone else here had this upbringing?

OP posts:
cosypompoms · 28/12/2023 20:58

@Free2roam you've literally hit the nail on the head with many of my feelings. I wonder what I would've been like with a different upbringing.

@ThreeBearsPorridge this Christmas I had a photo with Santa for the first time. I'm mid 40's and was dead chuffed!

ThreeBearsPorridge · 28/12/2023 22:51

Thank you.

Free2roam · 29/12/2023 21:04

@cosypompoms I would have had so much more confidence and less anxiety and depression. From as far back as I can remember, even as a young child, I was always overthinking and catastrophizing - no wonder when my bedtime reading material showed the end of the world and all those awful illustrations. My maternal grandparents (who I adored) were not JW so I used to dread something happening to them and pray for them.

cosypompoms · 01/01/2024 22:23

@Free2roam I also hated thinking God the as watching me and I was being permanently judged and critiqued but you could say that for any religion I suppose. It's oppressive thinking his knows your thoughts.

ThreeBearsPorridge · 01/01/2024 23:20

It was all the talk of Satan that terrified me. It really warped my thinking.

Annony331 · 01/01/2024 23:41

Mum was but dad was not. Attended meetings when younger and then chose to go or not depending on the theme. Sometimes we went as a family to conventions, sometimes just with mum and sometimes she went with her congregation. Still go sometimes and know most of her congregation and dip in when a question comes up. You don't give part of your income to them. You can donate as and when or do a DD to suit. There are monthly account updates given in each congregation and the congregation agrees if a donation is going to the building fund, transport to a convention or other. I found everyone burns very funny. I attended school assemblies. Adultery is an acceptable reason to divorce if you can't reconcile. There were some lovely people in the congregation but also some I was not keen on. Each to their own.

NonnyMouse1337 · 24/02/2024 06:27

Hello, sorry I am late to this thread. It's kind of funny (in a sad way) how similar some of the experiences are, and how they have shaped our lives.

My mother was Catholic but when I was quite young, she got sucked into becoming a JW. My dad hated it and avoided it. It was the source of a lot of tension and arguments at home (among other issues). I got dragged to all the meetings and had the iconic "My Book of Bible Stories". I accepted and believed the JW teachings were "The Truth" as it was the only thing I'd ever known. I was very scared I would see my father die at Armageddon since he refused to come to the meetings.

I was a very curious and intelligent child, and started to have questions and notice things didn't add up. But felt the doubts on my part were due to personal failings and I needed to pray more, study more etc. I struggled a lot with following all the rules as I grew older - I loved music, dancing, felt sad I was not allowed to celebrate birthdays and Christmas so couldn't go to parties that I was invited to by school friends and so on. I was the only JW in the entire school for a while. I tried to hide it as I knew it was an "extreme" religion compared to the laid back views of my classmates, and I didn't want to be bullied and ostracized and lose the few friends I had.

The doubts kept piling up. Obviously we weren't allowed to read anything that wasn't JW-approved so I had no way of finding out any answers to my questions while I lived at home. There was a lot of pressure put on me by my mum and others to get baptised. I didn't want to as I had all these secret doubts, but in the end I caved in and went through the whole baptism process. I felt like I would be struck by lightning or something for doing this while my faith was so shaky.

Higher education is frowned upon, but thankfully both my parents were supportive of me going to university etc as they wanted me to get a good job and achieve the things they were unable to do. I think there was pressure on my mum to get me married off, but somehow she didn't try to do that to me.

Eventually I managed to leave home and that's when I was finally able to search the internet for answers and came across a lot of shocking information. I eventually plucked up the courage to read "Crisis of Conscience" by Raymond Franz and realised how manipulative the religion is..and essentially it's a cult. I was emotionally and mentally shattered as I didn't know what to do... "The Truth" turned out to be a complete lie but it was the only thing I knew.

It was a long process, but I learned to move on with my life. Happy atheist, but I couldn't tell my mum that - it would break her heart as she would worry she would see me die at Armageddon. Also she would face pressure to shun me and cut me off if I openly said I was against JW teachings. So I pretend to be a "lapsed" JW rather than an atheist. Keep our conversations to a minimum.

Anyway, I came across this article and it made me remember all my past. I usually don't think about it much until something triggers it.

https://www.theguardian.com/books/2024/feb/17/fiction-opened-my-eyes-author-jodie-chapman-on-growing-up-as-a-jehovahs-witness

I've never heard of the author but I have ordered her books. It will be interesting to read it and see if it's any good.

Coincidentally , there's a new helpline set up in the UK for anyone leaving or left high control religions and cults. Maybe some folks here might find it useful.

https://humanists.uk/2024/02/21/humanists-uk-launches-dedicated-faith-to-faithless-helpline-for-people-leaving-religions-and-cults/

‘Fiction opened my eyes’: author Jodie Chapman on growing up as a Jehovah’s Witness

The author was told she was living through ‘the time of the end’ – then Margaret Atwood, Thomas Hardy and George Orwell challenged her understanding of the world

https://www.theguardian.com/books/2024/feb/17/fiction-opened-my-eyes-author-jodie-chapman-on-growing-up-as-a-jehovahs-witness

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