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Philosophy/religion

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Does anyone have Jehovah's Witness parents?

82 replies

jwparent · 30/09/2023 19:08

Long story short I was brought up a JW. Parents were a bit in and out and didn't always attend meetings but still no Christmas or Birthdays. I was always petrified of lightening incase it was Armageddon starting. Not allowed into assembly or RE lessons at school.

It's was all just bloody awful and I wondered if anyone else here had this upbringing?

OP posts:
ThreeBearsPorridge · 07/11/2023 18:51

I have another family member who is a JW. They were sent to a rather out of the way area to convert people too. He and his wife haven’t worked since they left school. Their whole life is spent in service to their religion. Their house is paid for by the organisation and all their bills are paid. The writing of letters is something everyone was instructed to do during lockdown . My elderly mother with arthritic fingers is still doing it. Spending a fortune on stamps and it causes her pain. Of course whoever receives them will just bin them. I don’t think it’s sweet at all. She feels obligated by the Elders to do it.

Abhannmor · 08/11/2023 19:48

I guess I thought it was sweet because nobody writes to me anymore ! Especially not by hand. But yes I suppose they were ordered to do it. The usual format : the world is in chaos isn't it ? But God has a plan ...to find out more blah blah.

alloalloallo · 08/11/2023 20:23

We fostered a young person for a while who had been kicked out of home at 15 because they wanted to leave the religion.

They were completely shunned by their parents and friends and family. They had been removed from school and home schooled, so when they came to us hadn’t been in school for several years.

They’re doing really well now, went to college and did really well, got a good job, now has partner and a baby on the way, but it was just awful when they first came to us.

I still remember their first Christmas with us - I bought them an advent calendar and they cried.

Towards the end of their time with us, they were back in some contact with their Mum and was meeting up for a coffee once a week, but I know Mum would still put masses of pressure on them to come back. Dad refused to have anything to do with them and they weren’t allowed to see their siblings.

HerRoyalNotness · 08/11/2023 20:30

Yep. Very resentful of it all tbh. Feel disconnected in society and find it difficult to make friends, although have a few. Was very sick of being told NO to everything. Simple things people should be able to do, go to a gym, the pub, the school dance, university!. I did not want that for my DC. We have quiet celebrations of birthdays and Xmas, preferably just us as feel uncomfortable making a mistake with the social norms. Parent was out and now back in apparently, all holier than though. Admitted they’d used it as a tool to control us. So not a true believer obviously. They must be super happy to have ruined our little lives and that neither of their children are in contact with them now 🤔

HerRoyalNotness · 08/11/2023 20:38

PureAmazonian · 01/10/2023 10:01

I'm very interested in this thread. Now after many years of trying to understand religion in general, the JW religion has been one of particular interest to me. To the people who "got out" do you now feel as though you were part of a cult, did it feel like that to you? Can you also confirm whether you had to give a portion of your earrings to the church? I am only an outsider looking in, but the whole thing seems VERY cult like to me.
Sorry if this causes any offence, I'm just curious as to whether the people who were actually a part of it view it differently now.

Yes feels very culty to me now. You don’t see in it when you’re in particularly. Although something might make you question it. Quite a few of my friends who’ve drifted out find it the same. Very brainwashing, they don’t want you to think for yourself or question anything.

ThreeBearsPorridge · 09/11/2023 18:32

At the moment they are all in a lather of excitement at the state of the world because they are convinced the end is coming. It probably is, but it doesn't mean they will survive whilst everyone else dies, and they live forever gambling with lions. They are feverishly pulling out all the stops at the moment to convert people to the 'The Truth'.

AvonCallingBarksdale · 09/11/2023 20:05

Good grief some of these stories are heartbreaking. 💐I was at primary school with a girl whose family were JW. She got cancer and I didn’t understand as a child what the potential implications could be re blood transfusions 😢. I was then at secondary with someone whose family were Plymouth Brethrens and remember she had to leave class during Of Mice and Men 🤨

ThreeBearsPorridge · 09/11/2023 20:09

There are a lot of similarities between the Plymouth Brethren and JW’s actualky. Their beliefs are almost identical.

IsThePopeCatholic · 09/11/2023 20:17

It’s not a religion. It’s a cult.

newnamechangeforthisone · 13/11/2023 13:02

Fe2O3Girl · 31/10/2023 23:51

@newnamechangeforthisone

Hi, cult cousin!

Hi!

cosypompoms · 13/11/2023 17:16

Abhannmor · 07/11/2023 18:46

I lived in a small town in Ireland , where the street lights go dim if you charge a phone. Nonetheless we have a JW hall. One day a lovely woman with an English accent called around with some JW leaflets.

I asked where she was from - Devon. She and her husband were living in an even smaller village up in the hills nearby. ' But you must have Irish family? ' I ventured. No , she replied , none at all.
' But then why on earth would you move to Ballybloggs' says I.

The church sent us , she said. That is some power ! They all seem to be thoroughly decent people mind. If you can get them talking on a different subject. They sent me hand written letters during lockdown. I thought that was sweet. There again you can see how ppl get pulled in.....

I honestly think I know who you are talking about!

GonnaGetGoingReturns · 13/11/2023 17:52

AvonCallingBarksdale · 09/11/2023 20:05

Good grief some of these stories are heartbreaking. 💐I was at primary school with a girl whose family were JW. She got cancer and I didn’t understand as a child what the potential implications could be re blood transfusions 😢. I was then at secondary with someone whose family were Plymouth Brethrens and remember she had to leave class during Of Mice and Men 🤨

At secondary school, a girls school, we had 2 nice girls in our class when we were 11 and 12, I think they left after the first year and they were Plymouth Brethren but unrelated. I recall at our Christmas party at school they came and one of them wore a shop bought “trendy” dress but the other had a home made dress. The one who wore the trendy dress was more passive than the other one who used to get worked up and quite angry. Hope they’re both ok now.

Abhannmor · 15/11/2023 18:14

cosypompoms · 13/11/2023 17:16

I honestly think I know who you are talking about!

DMd you @cosypompoms

crozzfit · 13/12/2023 15:14

I feel for the children at school who have to sit out all the Christmas activities. My grandkids are doing Christmas stuff every day at school at the moment. A neighbour of ours is JW and makes such a huge effort to actively avoid anything Christmas. It's very restrictive for her family at this time of year.

cosypompoms · 16/12/2023 07:18

crozzfit · 13/12/2023 15:14

I feel for the children at school who have to sit out all the Christmas activities. My grandkids are doing Christmas stuff every day at school at the moment. A neighbour of ours is JW and makes such a huge effort to actively avoid anything Christmas. It's very restrictive for her family at this time of year.

Yes the JW children literally sit out in corridors during Xmas play practise. It's awful. I was kept off school a lot so my attendance was very poor.

Asparagus1 · 23/12/2023 23:16

My 15yo son has a friend who is a JW. A bit of an anomaly really as my son wasn’t aware! They socialise a lot out of school and play on the same football team. It fascinates me as I know his parents and they are not typical JWs.

Free2roam · 24/12/2023 07:15

This thread is so interesting as I am also a child brought up in the JW cult. I am now in my 50's and my family including Grandparents became JW when I was 3 and we left (thankfully)when I was 10.
It has had a profound affect on my whole life and that of my siblings as the feelings of being an outsider and dread for the future (due to the end of world) linger even though I don't believe it.
My early memories are knocking on doors and feeling shame and embarrassment, and the same feeling when sitting out of assemblies and not celebrating Christmas or birthdays. I have made up for this by celebrating fully and happily with own children and we have so much fun and happiness.
I have recently been thinking about how life would have been I hadn't had this upbringing and the only way to reconcile it (for me) is that I would have been more confident, less anxious and not scared of the future continually but I've worked through it and I actually like the person I've ended up as.

ThreeBearsPorridge · 24/12/2023 07:44

I would agree with this for myself. It’s really messed me up. One of the ways is that I never really enjoyed parties , drinking or doing normal things in my twenties. There was always that feeling of guilt. It also made me quite
judgemental in some ways.
The feeling that the end of the world was nigh and no one should be having a good time was ever present. I went completely over the top with Christmas and birthdays with my kids too. Spoilt them to be honest. I tried to make up for what I never had. Even now I don’t think I’ve ever had a birthday cake.

Jbrown76 · 24/12/2023 07:50

For any ex Jehovah's witnesses, I recommend the subreddit with over 50k subscribers, these are people who have experienced everything you have www.reddit.com/exjw

Orangeandgold · 24/12/2023 13:10

I never grew up with JW parents (mine was Pentecostal and there were bad things there such as everything you do being an evil spirit and church during the week prioritising the time you spend with your children). This was from my mum who was a single parent.

However I recently reconnect with my dad after 20+ years and he said he is a JW. He said to me “If you have been wondering why I didn’t message you on Christmas and Birthdays, it’s because we are JW and we don’t celebrate it”

Although I could wrap my head around thag, I didn’t understand why that stopped him getting in touch and sending a casual “how are you” throughout the other days of the year.

Free2roam · 24/12/2023 14:11

Jbrown76 · 24/12/2023 07:50

For any ex Jehovah's witnesses, I recommend the subreddit with over 50k subscribers, these are people who have experienced everything you have www.reddit.com/exjw

Thanks for this link. I shall have a look

Jbrown76 · 24/12/2023 15:32

https://www.reddit.com/r/exjw/

Over 90 thousand ex Jehovah's witnesses

ThreeBearsPorridge · 28/12/2023 07:27

What do the acronyms stand for on the site? I find it full of Americanisms and poor grammar but then that’s not surprising as being educated is not encouraged within the ‘truth’.

xenu1 · 28/12/2023 11:25

Rebekah Vardy has a column in the Xmas Spectator magazine. Despite the link title it has little too do with the Wagatha nonsense.

https://www.spectator.co.uk/article/i-no-longer-care-about-the-wagatha-christie-trial/

"When I was growing up, there was no Christmas – at least, not one that was recognised in our household. As Jehovah’s Witnesses, we were taught that it was a dressed-up pagan festival that had nothing to do with the Bible and should be avoided. At school, I’d even be hauled out of any Christmas assemblies and made to feel alienated from the other kids. When the big day came, my family just went out knocking on doors as usual, looking for souls to save. I’d skulk behind them, praying that none of my schoolfriends were on the other side of those doors. To Jehovah’s Witnesses, Christmas is ‘worldly’. That is to say: a bad thing.

Left all this behind as a teenager and my life is now, well, more ‘worldly’. I’m married to Jamie Vardy, captain of Leicester City FC, and am mother to five children. My eldest has just left for uni and my youngest just started daycare. I never expected to lead a life so heavily documented by the tabloids, or to be invited to compete on shows like Dancing on Ice. I certainly didn’t expect what became known as the ‘Wagatha Christie’ trial. If you care, you’ll know the details. If you don’t, I’ll spare you: thinking about it is a total waste of time and energy. All I’ll say is that I know the truth, as do many others. Anyway I’ve had more than my fair share of limelight over the years. Whether you want it or not, it gives you a platform. What matters, I suppose, is what you do with it.

This year, I made a television documentary exploring what I have come to see as the controlling and often-abusive culture of the Jehovah’s Witnesses. Until I was 15, my whole life was based around its beliefs. It was drilled into me that if I didn’t follow the rules, I would die. Followers are told that a violent end of the world is imminent and that when it comes, non-believers will suffer an agonising death. The nature of that death is shown in children’s books with abhorrent, terrifying images about the world’s destruction. All this instilled fear in me from a young age. Fear also stops people from leaving, including the fear of losing your community. After my parents’ divorce, for example, my mum was ‘disfellowshipped’. We ended up being rejected not only by family members but by the congregation, people who had been friends for years. This is ‘shunning’, one of the most controversial practices. For years after, I struggled to conform with how society wanted me to be. I became a bit of a rebel, until I had children."

Christmas as a Jehovah’s Witness

When I was growing up, there was no Christmas – at least, not one that was recognised in our household. As Jehovah’s Witnesses, we were taught that it was a dressed-up pagan festival that had nothing to do with the Bible and should be avoided. At schoo...

https://www.spectator.co.uk/article/i-no-longer-care-about-the-wagatha-christie-trial