How to return to Christian beliefs?

[ANewLifeIsMine]

Maybe the title of this thread is misleading.

I am middle aged. As a child I was Christened and went to Sunday School.

In my early youth my parents vehemently decided that suddenly they did not believe in God, and we were taken out of Sunday School and no longer attended church, with the exception of Christenings, Marriages and Funerals.

It would be true to say that my childhood was difficult. It was one of those upper middle class childhoods whereby your DCs are a badge of honour. We were brought out and displayed to make my parents look good, though as parents they were hands off, unless we did something very right that they could show off, or very wrong for which they could admonish us. Religious beliefs were scorned.

However, I feel strongly that God has never left me. I believe in the God my Grandparents spoke of, and the valuable lessons I learned through them e.g. do unto others.

I believe that God is in everything, not just churches.

My own relationship with God has been remote, but I have always felt that he is with me.

I see my return to faith as a very personal thing, I neither want, nor need, to go to church. As I said, I believe that God is everywhere.

How do I return to my Christian faith? In a chaotic world, how do I learn more about the lessons of the bible?

I do not want to go on a formal course. As I say, my relationship with God is very personal. I'm asking; how do I enhance, enrich and grow my faith further? How do I pray, for example?

Apologies for the length of this post. I'm serious about this and would be grateful for any serious answers.

Read the Bible.
Speak to God - as I'm sure you do. Sometimes He gives very direct and specific answers. So speak, and listen.

You pray with the Lord's prayer. You pray with an open mind and heart, perhaps with no words. The five types of prayer are listed in this article but I can't vouch for anything except the headings! 5 Types of Prayer - Communicating With God (learnreligions.com)

Some people will tell you that you can't be a Christian without taking part in community life.

@StopStartStop I'm an active member of my local community, and I do live through kindness, I try to give of my time and use the skills I have been given.

Though I suspect that you mean that many would say that I can't truly worship unless I go to church. We live in a backwater. Within a 40 + mile radius of my home I can find two types of Christian church; one is an atypical type of the old-skool churches, which conduct traditional services for an aging congregation. Nothing wrong with that, though for me I feel there is a different way.

The other is a US-style fire and brimstone church, which I find jarring. I have spoken to members of that congregation and I find their interpretation of Christianity to be at odds with my own. I believe in professing God's love, their interpretation is very narrow and exclusive, rather than inclusive. The brimstone of the Old Testament, reintroduced with the fervour of tele-preachers. There are also questions about their financial accounting and use of funds.

If you are really saying that religion must be performative to be heartfelt, I respectfully disagree.

Although I would like to worship with a congregation, I believe that God is everywhere and that I will be judged, not by the number of hours I spent in a church, but by the good I tried to be in the world.

As I said in my previous post; I believe that God is everywhere, particularly in the beautiful countryside we live in.

Thank you @AConvivialHost that is very useful, I will find it very helpful and keep returning to it.

If you are really saying that religion must be performative to be heartfelt, I respectfully disagree.

I am saying nothing of the kind. You asked a question, I answered. My work here was completed at that point.

Perhaps your faith isn't within christianity- there are many ways to have spiritual journey.

the valuable lessons I learned through them e.g. do unto others.

Your grandparents sound like good people, I am sure they did not come to value altruism simply because of their religion.
Altruism is a feature of human society that many people value, with or without religion.
Christianity did not invent the idea of treating others as you would yourself- it really didn't.
Altruism as a tool for social cohesion is common throughout human society anad other animal species too.
Look at elephants, wolves, other primates, even ants and bees they have all worked this out without the need for a book.

@speakout maybe it is a different belief system that I'm looking for. If that's the case I don't know what I'm looking for.

With my Grandparents it wasn't just do as you would be done by. They were Christians, they worshipped regularly and they had a whole raft of beliefs which stemmed from their religion. An example of this would be that God is all around us, in nature and within us. They spoke about God sending his only son to die for us, his greatest sacrifice. They talked about religious ideas and theology, but they wove their theology into life experiences.
Does that make sense?

@ANewLifeIsMine I was similar and always had my own faith and interpretation of the Bible, for a good 40 years.
My husband is Catholic and never spoke much about his faith, so we did our own thing and just respected each others paths.
It wasn't until our child was preparing for First Communion that I started properly finding out what it was all about.
I started watching YouTube videos about Catholic beliefs and history (Fr Mike Schmitz on Ascension Presents) Could've toppled me over with a feather! I realised all the things I'd believed my whole life, the values and faith I held, were basically just the Catholic faith but nobody had ever told me (cos I'd never asked lol)
I joined the church 2 years later (still wanted to be TOTALLY sure!) and it is without doubt the best thing I did.

I am not saying you need to do the same thing as me or follow the same faith as me, but I am saying I'm really happy for you that you're now at an age where you are more comfortable to explore your faith. Wishing you every happiness with your journey however it may look for you 🙏

ANewLifeIsMine it makes some sense.

The idea of deity being an integral energy is not new, and christianity can take no credit for an ideology that involves being good to each other.

The whole sacrifice thing just loses me.

So god came to earth as a man, sacrificed himself to himself knowing that he wasn't going to be dead forever to pay for imaginary "sins"
Thankfully the days of human sacrifice are behind us, but were popular in the middle east 2000 years ago.
It used to be possible to commit murder or steal,and if you were rich enough then pay or force someone else or a slave to take the punishment.

It isn't congruent with the morals of society today.
There is a vast world of religion and philosophy outside of christianity, if we are able to consider a faith objectively then we can make informed choices.

God of the christian bible isn't a very pleasant character, capricious, wrathful, jealous- by his own admission, happy to smite, punish and is homophobic, mysogynistic,

The christian god has carried out acts of mass genocide, infanticide according to the holy book.

Is he someone you would worship?
A religion that trash talks you, tells you that you are sinful, broken, faulty but if you love him he can fix all that.

Gaslighting in the extreme. If a man were to tell his wife that she should love him or he will lock her in a burning garage we would see that as abuse.

But that is what the christian god expects, love him or else there will be punishment.
It is a twisted kind of love that threatens in such a way.

I

This is not accurate of Christianity at all.
By all means have your own beliefs but your post just comes across as Christian-bashing for the sake of it.

Not "for the sake of it " windowof

Christian ideology is not above critical questioning and comment.
Unfortunately christianity has an impact on everyone's life, whether we are an adherent or not.
As long as the church influences the society I live in then I will retain the right to criticise.

@speakout questioning and criticising is always encouraged, but there is a fine line between that and just making blanket statements.
The UK is a Christian country you're right, and the head of state is the head of the Church of England. But for other Christian denominations believe me, we are just as against the UK King being head of a church as you are.

windowof we are just as against the UK King being head of a church as you are.

Why are you making such an assumption?

Although the church has had a great influence in the shaping of our society I am not sure you could call the UK a "christian country" in real terms.
Only 13% of the UK attend church regularly, and most are elderly.
Numbers are dwindling, as more people question the authority and morality of the christian ideology.
I am very happy to see the decline of christianity

Would Spirituality interest you? You make your own rules and do what feels right for you.

What about a more reflective belief, like the Quakers?

I was going to suggest Quakers too OP

If you want some Chritian spiritual input in quite a light but regular way you could try the app Lectio 365. It's free and has a daily guided meditation/prayer. It's a good way of getting into a 'spiritual rhythm'

That's not Christian though.

I'm here to recommend Pinterest (seriously!) , Lectio app and Quakers.

My local Diocese has noticed a sudden increase of people who are interested like you OP. You aren't alone.

Church these days can be found on the beach, in the forest, in a church, at university or anywhere really.

(I'm not even a worshiper. But I work for the Diocese) 😊

I've had a complicated journey in my faith as a Christian. I sort of had the opposite of you (my parents weren't Christians and then my dad became one and took me to church as a teenager). I've had times where I've been active in the church and times where I haven't gone to church at all.

I suggest maybe visiting a church and seeing how you feel to start. This will help with learning how to pray and talk to god. I recently came across an app called the bible project too which has short videos on things like how to read the bible. It's very accessible.

Everyone's journey is different but maybe just try to talk to God, or finding some Christian songs on Spotify and trying to spend time with him. I think the fact you feel the way you do means God is trying to speak to you .

Good luck with it all OP.

@ANewLifeIsMine I think I get your question... "how do I live and grow as a Christian without going to church"?

I get you. Church twice a Sunday for me I took it was about 20. Then 30 plus years without. Nothing sinister! I'm just a complete introvert, don't like large groups etc.

My Christian beliefs and faith are firm. But I don't learn or grow.

I guess the basic answer is "read the bible". But some thing more guided would be helpful.

In short, I don't know then answer. But there are many more out there than just us two.

You seem pretty determined to make this into something it's not so I'm not entirely sure what your purpose is on being on this thread other than to let us know you dislike Christianity.
Whether we like it or not the UK is a Christian country at it's core by the very fact it's head of state is also the head of the church, there's no separation of church and state in that respect. Regardless of our own beliefs.

Anyways, I respect your right to have your own faith and you'll note I haven't questioned your belief system or ridiculed your chosen deity or lack thereof.

Genuine question- and not intended to sound inflammatory or judgy- why do you work for a Diocese if you aren't a believer? Or maybe I've misunderstood.
Just interesting

@Inkypot because I genuinely value the part that Christianity plays in the community. I'm happy to see it flourish.

I have a Christian background but I'm not suited to traditional churchy worshipping. 😊

I am suited to dabbling and praying as & when I want to. Wherever I want to. On my terms 🩷

Speakout always posts aggressively when someone suggests they might want to find their faith again. Her agenda seems to me to be to convince anyone who wants to find religion that it is a terrible thing where everyone lives as though it is 2000 years ago taking slaves etc! Everyone is entitled to their opinion and Speakout certainly lives up to her name but her views on Christianity are wildly different to my experience of going to church - I suspect she hasn’t been to church recently but cherry picks extreme examples of old fashioned views.
My advice OP would be to make a list of churches vaguely near you, then try their online services to get a flavour of what they are like. If they seem the right level of liveliness then you could try them in person. Churches in cities or towns can be good, or ones near universities.

I'd definitely suggest starting by picking up your Bible, probably start in the new testament and read one of the Gospels. As far as prayer goes, there are lots of written prayers you can find online if you want guidance, but otherwise try just sitting and talking to God.

Personally I would find it hard to keep my faith alive without my church community, but I can hear the difficulties you face with that. Maybe have a look online? Lots of churches have continued streaming their services after COVID, and this way you could listen to the teaching and join in with the prayers and music as much or as little as you felt comfortable.