Any Witches Here?- Part 18

[speakout]

Or Wiccans. or Pagans? Or anyone who is interested in a magical path or feels some magical stirrings.
A place for support, learning, swapping ideas and magical inspiration..
This is the 17th thread- anyone looking for a deep dive into juicy magical topics may like to browse previous threads.....
It is a long list!!
Part 1 //www.mumsnet.com/Talk/philosophy_religion_spirituality/3241689-Any-witches-here?pg=1
Part 2
//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/philosophy_religion_spirituality/3338025-Any-Witches-Here-Part-2?pg=1
Part 3
//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/philosophy_religion_spirituality/3366411-Any-Witches-Here-Part-3?pg=1
Part 4
//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/philosophy_religion_spirituality/3404406-Any-Witches-Here-Part-4-Edited-by-MNHQ?pg=1
Part5
//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/philosophy_religion_spirituality/3437092-Any-Witches-Here-Part-5?pg=1
Part 6 //www.mumsnet.com/Talk/philosophy_religion_spirituality/3482023-Any-Witches-Here-Part-6?pg=1
Part 7 //www.mumsnet.com/Talk/philosophy_religion_spirituality/3520269-Any-Witches-Here-Part-7?pg=1
Part 8 //www.mumsnet.com/Talk/philosophy_religion_spirituality/a3568622-Any-Witches-Here-Part-8?pg=1
Part 9 //www.mumsnet.com/Talk/philosophy_religion_spirituality/3637696-Any-Witches-Here-Part-9?pg=1
Part 10
//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/philosophy_religion_spirituality/3726266-Any-Witches-Here-Part-10
Part 11
//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/philosophy_religion_spirituality/3850635-Any-Witches-Here-Part-11
Part 12
//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/philosophy_religion_spirituality/3997761-Any-Witches-Here-Part-12
Part 13 //www.mumsnet.com/Talk/philosophy_religion_spirituality/4116107-Any-Witches-here-Part-13
Part 14www.mumsnet.com/Talk/philosophy_religion_spirituality/4213962-Any-Witches-Here-Part-14
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/philosophy_religion_spirituality/4328830-Any-Witches-Here-Part-15?msgid=113505801
www.mumsnet.com/talk/philosophy_religion_spirituality/4435233-Any-Witches-Here-Part-16?page=40&reply=118807589

www.mumsnet.com/talk/philosophy_religion_spirituality/4598225-any-witches-here-part-17?page=40&reply=122990208

Just a very quick message from me for now to wave you you all and to let @speakout know that you and your mum are in my thoughts and that I have a candle burning for you.

It is 3am and I've just finished putting up some balloons and making a photo collage for my son- it's his 16th birthday tomorrow, the first he has felt like celebrating for a few years so I am making a gentle fuss which I hope will feel meaningful but not overwhelming to him. The collage is a photo from each year of his life so far and it is lovely to see the change each year.

Back tomorrow to reply to everyone's previous posts properly.

Happy birthday to your son @freckles20! That sounds like a really lovely way to mark the day for him and celebrate gently. I hope you all have a wonderful day.

@speakout thinking of you and your mum.

@hilariousnamehere I love the idea of being a professional mermaid and you sound wonderful. I won’t quote the divine Bette Midler but her mermaid stage show was something else!

Sending love to you @speakout

@hilariousnamehere we spoke briefly before about my mermaid friend, and she is now fully qualified to teach PADI and does a mermaid specific course. Sadly I don't see her anymore as the studio where we met up has since closed down.

I'm feeling a little on edge at the moment. Not really sure why, so putting it down to 'something in the air'. DH shelved most of his work over the Easter holidays though and is taking DS out today so I can have some peace and quiet.
I think, actually, I am feeling a little lonely as regards physical company with fellow witches but just never seem to meet anyone locally who is on my wavelength.

Adding more love for @speakout. I'm so sorry to hear the news about your mum. I will light an 8pm candle for her and you, and am sending all positivity your way.

@speakout I'm so very sorry to hear the news about your mother. I hope that she is being well looked after and will join others in lighting an 8pm candle and sending lots of love and best wishes.

@queenrollo I can relate to that feeling of loneliness. I've cut myself off from people a bit recently as I have had so much going on and just needed to go inwards. I'm making a conscious effort to reconnect with people - nothing major, a dog walk after work with one friend, tea and chat with another on Friday. It can be hard to find people on the same wave length. I'm missing ceremonies and women's circles, which aren't happening locally at the moment but for various reasons.

@freckles20 wishing your DS a very happy 16th birthday! I still have flash backs to when my DS was 16 and had a party (I was banished upstairs for the evening!)

@hilariousnamehere 'In the same way I do most of the things I do- I saw it, thought it looked incredible and set off to do it!'
I love this and wish I could be a but more like you! I tend to see it, think 'I'd lie to do that'...then talk myself out of it by thinking of all the reasons not to do it! It must be great to have so much confidence :)

Thank for the good wishes everyone.
It's been a hectic and stressful week.
My mother is still in an acute assessement ward we don't yet have any diagnosis.
She can't walk or stand and is struggling to make her needs known to the (very busy ) staff, for toilet help etc.
My DD called me last night in tears because one member of staff was humiliating my mother for sitting wrongly on a bedpan and causing it to spill.
My mum is now trying to limit her fluid intake so she doesn't need the toilet so often, so I am going in this morning with supplies and speak to staff.
It's really hard, all my own practices and self care have gone out of the window,
no yoga, no meditation, I have had to cancel my counselling this week, and my womens circle today. Some off you will know I am also a carer for my adult son too, and I work full time, everything just seems so busy, hard and heavy right now.
I have just realised I have eaten only chocolate and crisps for the past 2 days.

Once I am back from the hospital I need to take stock of my situation, buy some simple nutritious food for myself, and at least try to fit in some short meditation.

Thanks for your thoughts and kind words.

Oh speakout that sounds tough. Can your OH take over the cooking until you are feeling on top of things? Hopefully you’ll have a diagnosis soon and a way forward. A friend of mine was in a very similar situation recently with her Mum.
your routines and self care will be back in place soon. It’s just a rough patch.

BeautifulDayintheneighbourhood thanks for your kind words. You are right, it will will pass.
Unfortunately OH works long hours and if often away, so can't help much through the week.
I will pop to the supemarket today and pick up some healthy easy food for myself so I am not resorting to vending machines.
It's hard because my mother is meek, afraid to speak up, afraid to be a nuiscance and would rather lie in pain and discomfort than ask staff for help. So she needs some advocacy.
She isn't always truthful to me either unfortunately, because she cringes at my direct- but always respectful- communication methods.
Everything feels such a tangled mess at the moment.

@speakout that sounds really tough. I can relate as I know what it was like when my Grandma was in hospital for two weeks. It takes over everything. When you're not physically at the hospital, you're thinking about the situation, discussing it all with family, etc. I found I was not eating properly as I was too tired to cook when I got home, and I got very run down.

If you can, try and prioritise meeting your basic needs - food, water and sleep. Healthy snacks like bananas, yogurts, granola bars and things that are easy to make, baked beans, scrambled eggs, soup, etc. Try and keep hydrated, hospitals are so hot, I found I was getting dehydrated which gave me headaches - remember to pack a big bottle of water when you go to the hospital. Sleep is the hardest bit, as I'm sure your mind is buzzing, and you're worried and waiting for the phone to go in the middle of the night. I found having a warm shower when I got home helped and using sleep music/ sleep stories.

I think that being afraid to speak up is possibly a generational thing. My Grandma was unable to speak up and my parents were afraid to, so I had to take that role. The majority of NHS staff are great, but some are really lacking in understanding and empathy. I find the hospital environment incredibly stressful, it's so noisy and not really conducive to recovery.

Sending you love and solidarity xx

It’s hard to speak up when you are ill and frightened , let alone elderly. Some staff are bullies or just don’t have the time to do a proper job. Also there is still the perception that those in charge must be ‘right’. Often not the case.

Thanks everyone, you are right about elderly people-and I think this is a mindset of women rather than men,they would rather keep quiet than ask.
I know my own mother equates assertiveness with aggression and values ideas about being quiet, kind, being small and timid.
It is absolutely possible be assertive, calm and respectful- but not a concept my mother understands.
And of course it is difficult and vulnerable being a patient in hospital, especially as she can't stand or walk.

I spent a few hours in hospital with her today, managed to sort out the toileting issues, spoke to the nursing staff and made sure the issues were documented. I also spoke to her doctor for a detailed update on test results and let him know she is in pain,so medication for that is being actioned.
I also took clean clothes, and things to make her more comfortable, snacks, reading materials, moisturiser,lip salve,her favourite body spray, wet wipes, a comb, kindle with headphones etc.
She seemed a lot more settled as I was leaving, and my DD will be visiting tonight.
I am tired,but have bought a lot of good nutritious easy food for myself, and plan to to hunker down for a quiet evening with a book and herbal tea.

I appreciate the wisdom and support of my friends here on this thread- thank you!

Glad to hear mum.is a bit happier tonight speakout. You must be exhausted.
I have just had a very refreshing brew of dandelion and nettle tea,foraged from the garden,with a pinch of dried mint. Very nice. Will make nettle soup tomorrow I think.
Hope all have had a good day

Big hugs @speakout, I hope your Mum is much more comfortable tonight and that you get some proper rest too. I'm not very good at hospitals but in my experience the squeaky wheel gets the grease, and I'm glad you're able to advocate for your Mum.

@VioletCharlotte aw thank you your words made me smile! I wasn't always like this, but a series of things like bereavement and a lot of reflection and inner work has resulted in a very stark realisation that I only have one life - and I want to make the most of it! Part of my recent quietness has been battling an awful flat feeling and struggling with not feeling like myself and not having any enthusiasm for anything, so I've definitely not got it totally cracked yet - but getting there. I think everyone is different though and I've had to work on accepting I'll often be bad at things when I first try them 😂

@queenrollo we did and that's so exciting! Sad you don't see her any more but I'm so happy there are more people teaching mermaid swimming.
Know what you mean about real life witches, I was feeling very disconnected until the retreat and I think that's definitely helped to ignite my spark again. Wish we were a bit closer geographically but if you ever fancy an IRL meetup give me a shout!

@Hedjwitch that sounds delish - is there any truth in the belief that nettle tea helps with allergies? A friend of mine says it is but I've never been brave enough to actually pick the nettles and try it!

I dont know about allergies but nettles are packed with vitamins and were a welcome spring green foodstuff for our ancestors after a long winter.
Wear rubber gloves to pick the tops only, to avoid being stung. Use as you would spinach,or in soup or tea

Nettle is supposed to be good for hayfever and inflammation and for helping to east the transition from cold to warm in that delightful way that the english weather likes to do big jumps.

I drink nettle tea every summer as it helps to prevent the heat stroke etc that my body is so very prone to, i do find that i need less medication for the hayfever. but honestly the tea you can buy is not medicinal strenght so that might be more promient if you had the higher dose. I like to combine my nettle with peppermint in my tea. Twinnings did such a blend but they seem to have discontinued it so i need to figure out the ratios before i run out of the nettle and peppermint i bought.

My suggestion is that nettle tea (commercial) is a realitively easy way to try and see. Be aware it tastes as bad as you would imagine but it is not as bad as you fear. Just takes a little getting used to if you are not used to herbally teas,

Speakout i am glad you managed to get some things sorted, hope your mum improves and that you are able to find some time rest and recovery for you this weekend

sorry for the typos and spelling mistakes i am running past empty today.

Ahh thank you @HillsBesideTheSea - yes it's hayfever that tips me over the edge every year alongside chronic allergies which are reasonably well managed, but don't love upping my dose for summer months as I already feel like I've been hit by a bus every morning as it is!

I'll see if I can get some to try - or when I next see that friend see if she'll make me some, she'll be happy!

Strength and support coming your way today too @speakout.

I'm hopeful of having a vaguely creative afternoon but I'm exhausted so currently just taking advantage of it being a bank holiday and no one needing me till this evening and tomorrow and reading in bed 😂

@hilariousnamehere sorry to hear about the allergies. I suffer too but not as badly as some. My DM really struggles with it so I know how miserable it can be. Do you know what you're allergic to? I think mine may be birch pollen as I react to some of the foods associated with it... cherries, carrots, plums, pears...very annoying!

@speakout I'm glad things were a little better with your mum yesterday and you were able to help her to be more comfortable. I hope the situation is the same today and hope that you're doing ok. We're all here for you and sending love and support.

It's a beautiful, sunny day here. It's lovely to feel the sun after so many weeks of rain and cold weather. I've been in the garden this afternoon, just. trying to tidy up a bit, and I've for some pansies to plant in tubs. I'm catching up with a witchy friend this evening which will be nice as I've not seen her for a long time. I may even do some baking so I can take some sweet treats for us both

I am struggling a bit today I'm afraid.

My mother is still ,in the same situation, yet more tests, she still can't stand or walk.
I just feel all done in with caring for people.
I first became a carer at 8 years old and I have had little respite over the decades, I wonder if this is a situation I have brought upon myself.
My sister phoned me 4 times this morning- no doubt to ask how our mother is- but I refuse to be the gatekeeper of the relationship between my sister and her mother. She could phone my mother's mobile- if she could be bothered to even find out the number.
I know I am capable, practical,hold steady in a crisis, but I am pig sick of it.
OH said he would take the day off to help, but so far has been asleep all morning.
I have been working for much of the day, then took myself out to the post office, bought a large piece of lemon cake and ate it in the car, tears streaming down my face.
I have made my son's lunch and evening meal, and Oh has gone out to buy himself wine for this evening while I go to the hospital again.
In a rash moment I have trashed the kitchen- knocked over tables, chairs, fruit everywhere, kicked the ( overflowing) bin that he should have emptied while I was working, juice and milk on the floor-the place is a disaster zone.
I am so past caring.
Have to get ready for another hospital visit.

I will blame a racoon if OH asks.

Oh speakout my heart goes out to you. And it sounds like you have an OH like mine so I can sympathise. You sound at breaking point. Leave the mess with a note saying you cant cope anymore with doing everything and tell OH to call you. Can you check into a cheap hotel tonight while OH looks after your son and yiu can get some desperately needed sleep?

@speakout second the above about a hotel. You are clearly very good at looking after people, one can feel your care on this thread but please don't forget to care for yourself.

I will light a candle for you tonight.

Thank you dear friends.
I know I am near the end of my rope, it feels all so unfair, but I do wonder if i bring all this onto myself.
I was a carer for both my parents since I was a child and I know I have a lot of healing to do around that.
It's just so second nature as a woman to tidy up without thinking- it I see a tissue on the floor I pick it up without thinking- other people's cups and plates magically make it into the dishwasher.Part of me trashing the kitchen today was to turn it into how it may look if I did nothing.
Being busy with my mother this week has been time consuming and stressful, I have had no time for my usual activities that keep me in balance- I had to cancel my women's healing circle- I had been looking forward to that for a long time,, my yoga, my meditation, everything has crashed.

I know I will recover and find a balance again- thankyou for open hearts and kind words.

XX

Oh speakout! You just sound human. You’ve got so much on your plate. I really don’t see why your OH can’t make your sons meals. Can your son not make his own meals for once? It’s inexcusable that neither of them
are lifting a finger. It’s good you’ve snapped and rebelled. Perhaps they will wake up to themselves, because it’s not on!

As others have said , book into a hotel for the night or go and stay with your daughter.

Thanks again.
I am home from the hospital, and my mother's situation sounds promising. She has had a stroke, but the prognosis looks good and she should regain full mobility in a a few weeks.

I phoned my daughter on the way home-she sees straight through me- said "spill the beans", so I am under instruction to go to yoga tomorrow and then meet her for lunch.
My OH looked sheepish when I walked in - the kitchen is pristine.
So a warm salt bath. candle and an early night is called for.

You women are amazing- I feel so understood and supported on this thread X