Dedication vs Christening

[PurpleLostPrincess]

Hello all, I've been a regular mn'er for about a year now but have never posted in this area (only just found it!).

Its a bit of a long story so I'll keep it short but I'm a born again christian whereas DH is what I call a 'not yet christian' as he is still yet to take the plunge as such but God has done some amazing things in his life and he will openly admit that.

We had our first baby together early September and we've had a rough road - she has had 2 operations so far including heart surgery and has 2 more to come. My church family have all been very supportive and have been praying loads for us all.

Anyway, this is my second marriage and my xh was very anti-church. He wanted a christening and I wanted a dedication for DS and DD1 so we decided not to do anything at all so there was no argument. (of course, we don't need a ceremony to dedicate our children and both of them were prayed for and dedicated anyway by my parents, just not publicly!). DH (now) is aware of this and conversations early on indicated that this would be the case with DD2. However, I asked a few weeks ago if he would mind me having her 'officially' dedicated and he said he would think about it.

Well, yesterday, one of our friends asked him if she could be a godparent if we have her christened. I asked if he had explained that we might not have her christened and he now feels he would like her to be christened. I really don't want to get into a tug of war over this as it would be petty and childish. However, I have a problem with the ritual nature of a christening and the reasonings behind it (no offence to anybody else, its just my opinion) and feel that if we have her christened, we should also have her dedicated 'officially'.

I might add that I prayed over her when she was 2 days old and dedicated her myself, not knowing that she was actually very ill and was rushed to hospital the very next day - isn't God amazing!

I've not explained this very well at all so I hope you're able to read between the lines! I'd just value any advice on how to handle this one maturely and how to do what is best for all, especially DD2. Also, does anybody know more about the role of 'godparents' when its a dedication and whether it makes a difference if they are christians or not?

Thanks in advance,

PLP xxx

It's completely arbitrary, really. In a c of e setting, I would imagine a lot depended upon your local clergy. I know vicars who are very happy to organize dedications, and others that would be very unhappy.

Our nieces dedications were written by BIL and SIL, and they had their minister give a short talk, and then they just prayed a general prayer to dedicate the girl's lives to God. (but they're not in a c of e church now, to be fair)

We haven't bothered, we prayed that kind of prayer a few minutes after delivery!

So basically, it's very much looser than the baptism/christening thing.

"We haven't bothered, we prayed that kind of prayer a few minutes after delivery!"

A woman after me own heart!!!

The question is, am I and DH strong enough to withstand the tutting from our family and former congregation (looong story!)???

We also dedicated out children to God within minutes of delivery.

But when we found a church that was prepared to dedicate (for several years our Scottish Episcopalian church was not, bt we moved) we decided it was good for both them and us to dedicate in a church setting.

We were asked to promise to bring them up as Christians, the church family promised to help, and each child was given a verse of scripture that the pastoe had prayed about. We couldnt have their "Godparents" (dh's db and sil) there as they were in Canada and about to have their own baby, so MIL stepped in and prayer for the children. They were 7, 5, 3 when they were dedicated. Dd1 and ds remember it clearly and were moved by the service.

In the same mornign service dh and I were baptised by full immersion. It was truly a family event, and we had a great time, God was so close to us though it all.